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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Television

it’s all inside the wrist. it’s all inside the way you time it.

Posted on 24 April, 2009 By Wil

Some more Memories of the Future edits, for your (and my) amusement.

Here’s the original:

After a bit of exploring, they find themselves in the lab of Data’s creator, Dr. Noonian Soong. Riker, Geordi, and Tasha all join forces to be sort of an Exposition Voltron, informing the audience that Noonian Soong was the Earth’s foremost neuroscientist, until he tried to build Asimov’s positronic brain and failed. Everyone thought he did the walk of shame off the planet, but it turns out he just moved to Omicron Theta to continue his work until he got it right. (Coincidentally, on Omicron Gamma, there’s a group of former Microsoft employees still working on an MP3 player).

And here’s the rewrite, which I must tell you, made me giggle more than it probably should have:

They make their way to the exact spot where Data was discovered: it’s sort of a hollowed out area beneath a bunch of rocks, where Data tells them he was found wearing nothing more than a layer of dust. Before anyone can make a saucy reference about “The Naked Now” to Tasha, Geordi’s VISOR reveals that the rocks aren’t naturally hollow, and the “wall” opens up, revealing a twisty maze of passages, all alike.

After a bit of exploring, they find themselves in the lab of Data’s creator, Dr. Noonian Soong. Riker, Geordi, and Tasha all join forces to be sort of an Exposition Voltron:

Riker: Noonian Soong was Earth’s foremost neuroscientist, until he tried to build Asimov’s positronic brain…

Tasha: Everyone thought he did the walk of shame off the planet, but it turns out he just moved to Omicron Theta to continue his work until he got it right.

Geordi: And I’ll form the head!

And this is essentially unchanged from the original, but it still makes me happy:

Data flees to Sickbay where he meets up with Dr. Crusher and shows her his on/off switch—or, as he describes it, “an android alarm clock.”

Then he smirks, and asks hopefully, “Is that amusing?”

Dr. Crusher slowly shakes her head “no.” It’s the first genuinely laugh-out-loud moment of the episode, and the last time we’ll be laughing with “Datalore” instead of at it.

After a brief encounter with soon-to-be-ex-Chief Engineer Argyle, Dr. Crusher promises Data that she’ll keep the existence of his mysterious off switch to herself. Data asks her if she would want people to know about her off switch, if she had one. She laughs, and nervously glances at a bottle of Jägermeister in her office.

I got my first glimpse of the cover comps earlier this week. I think it’s going to be awesome.

kyle + rosemary is finally online

Posted on 9 April, 2009 By Wil

I'm too busy to write about how incredibly awesome my trip to Seattle was, but I just found out that kyle + rosemary is online, and I want everyone in the world to watch it, because I'm so proud of it:

Find more videos like this on Channel Frederator RAW

(Thanks to reader squonkmama for the link)

whenever i type “lions,” i have to make sure i haven’t accidentally typed “loins”

Posted on 30 March, 2009 By Wil

A friend of mine showed me the most awesome picture of a little Voltron toy I think I've ever seen. It had lions for hands.

This bounced around in my head for a moment, and I shared my great wisdom with Twitter, thusly:

Voltron with Lions > Voltron with vehicles. THIS IS SCIENCE AND YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE. (and now, pot stirred, I'm back to work.)

This screenshot from Twitteriffic (with bonus Memories of the Future edit in the background) illustrates one of the reasons I just love using Twitter. These replies are captured exactly as Twitteriffic displayed them to me:

Lions vs vehicles qft

Okay, now I'm really going back to work.

just in case you wanted to talk about tonight’s TNG reunion on Family Guy…

Posted on 29 March, 2009 By Wil

Star Trek The Next Generation Family Guy

my first episode of family guy airs on march 29

Posted on 25 February, 2009 By Wil

I guess the air date for the Star Trek episode of Family Guy was announced today, so the long wait for everyone who has been excited to see this (that includes me) is nearly at an end.

My Google Alerts thing has been sending me e-mails about it all day, including this one from THR.com:

A member of the "Trek" cast let some of this news slip into the blogsphere awhile back, but Fox has now confirmed, announced the cast and set a March 29 airdate.

Nobody is stepping down hard on my foot, so I'm not entirely sure, but I think he's talking about me. If he was, here's the post Captain Lazy McCantgoogle was referring to:

Seth MacFarlane directed my session, and when I met him, I said, "Okay, I'm not even going to try to pretend to keep it cool. I am a huge fan, and this is more exciting for me than I can quantify."

Yeah, I said quantify. I say stupid shit like that when I'm giddy and excited.

"Well, if you're going to do that," he said, "then I'll have to tell you that Next Generation is my favorite of all the Star Treks, and I've seen every episode about a thousand times. The First Duty is just great, man."

I did my best not to faint.

We had a meeting of the mutual admiration society for a few minutes, and then I went into the booth to record my lines.

[…]

When I was finished recording, I asked him if I could talk a little bit about my episode on my blog, without giving away too many details, and he said that would be fine, so . . .

I play myself, in a story that you could call a tribute to Next Generation. Pretty much everyone from the cast is on board for the episode, and holy shit is it funny.

Anyway, the good news, everyone, is that the show airs on March 29 on FOX, and if it's anything like the script I read, it's going to be an instant classic.

As I said after I worked on the show: I can't divulge any specific story details, or give away any jokes, but there's a gag with me that, if it makes it to the final cut of the episode, could quite possibly be the funniest thing I've ever done on television.

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