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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

a crazy idea

Posted on 24 July, 2013 By Wil

People keep asking for a book of my stupid Twitter conversations with my pets and other things that shouldn’t be able to actually speak.

If I hired some of my cartoonist friends to illustrate them, would you spend cash money on that book?

Also, this is (I think) the first “aside” I’ve done in WordPress. I don’t know what that means in this context.

it all started with a burrito

Posted on 24 July, 2013 By Wil

Blog reader and amazing knitting mistress of the cosmos J pointed out to me that, 12 years ago today, I started writing a blog*.

My first entry looks a lot like this:

So the votes are officially in.

Out of the total of 4 votes I got, all of them said it would be cool to have an online journal, so here it is.

Extra special thanks go to loren who directed me to blogger, a website that will hopefully make this whole weblog (the cool kids call it a “blog”) easy and painless.

I’m off now to make dinner for the family. You know what we’re having tonight?

Burritos. No shit.

Even back then, I loved burritos (and called my very lame website Where’s My Burrito? because I also loved The Simpsons.)

I’ve come a long, long way in 12 years. I’ve gained a wife, adopted a son, written a whole bunch of books, traveled all over the world, created a web series, and somehow found a way to silence the twin Voices of Self Doubt And Prove To Everyone That Quitting Star Trek Wasn’t A Mistake.

I have been accompanied at every step of this journey by tens of thousands of people all over the globe who I will never meet in person, but still feel around me like Navi in Zelda … only instead of yelling “HEY HEY LISTEN” they’ve been yelling “HEY HEY DON’T GIVE UP”.

Thank you for reading and supporting all of my projects. I love my life, and every day I’m afraid I’m going to wake up from this amazing dream.

And so I never lose perspective, I’ll paraphrase Walt Disney: It was all started by a burrito.

*most of those links will not work. Thanks, Obama.

 

nothing to prove

Posted on 23 July, 2013 By Wil

My brilliant friends The Doubleclicks made a beautiful video to go with their awesome song, Nothing To Prove. I’m honoured to be part of it.

This song is “Nothing to Prove” by the Doubleclicks:http://thedoubleclicks.com.
You can submit your own sign at http://geekgirlvideo.tumblr.com.
This video was sourced from amazing geek girls around the world, as well as from some awesome Geeks: Kelly Sue Deconnick, Amy Berg, John Scalzi, Josh A. Cagan, Adam Savage, Paul & Storm, Wil Wheaton & more… THANK YOU!

The video concept is by Josh A. Cagan and the Doubleclicks, and the video was directed and edited by Angela Webber (of the Doubleclicks.) The concept was inspired by the book trailer for “Dear Teen Me.”

Do not read the comments. They are, sadly, a cesspool of predictable, adolescent misogyny from the sadly loud and obnoxious idiots who are the whole reason we keep having this conversation.

I have many stories and pictures to share from Comicon, which I’ll do just as soon as I fully recover from the trip.

various things including beer, w00tstock, comicon, and the humble bundle

Posted on 16 July, 201316 July, 2013 By Wil

The beer I helped design with Drew Curtis and Stone Brewing Company is officially available. It’s called the Farking Wheaton W00tstout, and it’s a massive 13%ABV Imperial Russian Stout made with pecans and quarter-aged in bourbon barrels. I’ve had a taste, and I love it. Best of all? It’s designed to age for a decade or more, so get some, cellar it, and open on every few months to see how it develops.

As I write this, there’s about 25 hours left on the current Humble eBook Bundle. You can pay whatever you want and get a ton of great books. If you pay above the average (which is $10.41 right now) then you also get The Last Unicorn and Just A Geek. Remember that you get to decide where your money goes, to charity, to authors, to the Humble devs, or some combination of the three.

We’re just about 2 days away from w00tstock 5.0! We’re nearly sold out, but there are a few tickets left. I can’t tell you who the surprise guests are, because duh, surprise, but I strongly encourage you to get to the show early so you don’t miss the beginning.

I am still hoping that I can play a ukulele cover of a popular tune the young people will enjoy, but I’m struggling to get to that point where I feel like I can perform in public, so it may have to wait until the Fall Wil Wheaton vs. Paul and Storm tour, coming soon to a city near you if you live in the Northeast or Texas.

A few months ago, Hank Green invited me to join DFTBA Records to sell some cool things like posters and T-shirts. We announced it today with this really awesome poster, among other things:

 

I wrote this thing on my Tumblr yesterday. I’m putting it here for reasons:

“Don’t let yourself get caught up in popularity contests. When you care about winning a popularity contest, or maintaining some kind of popular status, you make pleasing other people more important than being true to yourself.

One of the keys to happiness is not having a fuck to give about popularity contests or worry about what THEY will think. THEY don’t know a goddamn thing, THEY don’t care about who you are when you wake up terrified in the middle of the night. THEY aren’t worth your time and energy, so don’t put your sense of self worth and control of your happiness into their hands

Be kind. Be honest. Work hard. Speak up. Be honorable. Be silly. Be you.”

Whenever someone tells me they’re not going to [read | follow | subscribe | whatever] because I’m not dancing precisely the way they want me to, as if I should listen to their threat and immediately modulate who I am to please them, I usually think, “oh how adorable that you think I have a fuck to give for someone who thinks being popular is so important to me that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep their (conditional) approval”. So I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, and I thought I’d take a stab at putting those thoughts into something affirmative that I wish someone had said to me when I was younger, and worried all the time about being popular and cool.

I may work on this a little bit, and see where it leads, but this is off the top of my head in about five minutes.

EDIT: By popular demand from educators, here’s a non-swearified version of the above. You have my permission to use it as you see fit, and my thanks for being teachers.

“Don’t let yourself get caught up in popularity contests. When you care
about winning a popularity contest, or maintaining some kind of popular
status, you make pleasing other people more important than being true to
yourself.

“One of the keys to happiness is not caring about popularity contests, or
worrying about what THEY will think. THEY don’t know anything about who
you are inside, THEY don’t care about who you are when you wake up
terrified in the middle of the night, or struggle just to get to the end
of the day. THEY aren’t worth your time and energy, so don’t put your
sense of self worth and control of your happiness into their hands.

“Be kind. Be honest. Work hard. Speak up. Be honorable. Be silly. Be you.”

Finally, I am struggling with massive anxiety about Comicon, because I have such a huge pile of things to prepare for, and not enough time to prepare them. If you wanted to see me do some of the things, here’s my schedule:

Wednesday – HopCon at Stone’s Liberty Station

Thursday – w00tstock at the Balboa Theatre

Friday – Gaming in Geek & Sundry land (Star Trek Catan tourney, among other things) from about 11am until 3:30pmish.

Moderating the Falling Skies panel at Comicon from 4:30-6:30.

Moderating The Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman Panel with Adam and Jamie from 7:30-8:30pm.

Saturday: I’ll be part of the Geek & Sundry panel at Comicon at 11am.

Sunday: I’ll be back in my house sleeping and decompressing.

I’m not doing any photo or autograph things, but if you see me feel free to give me a Sci-Five or holler “WHEEEEAAATTTOOONNN!!”, because that always makes me giggle.

Oh, one last thing I forgot: I’m in a video with Alan Tudyk that we made for NASA, which explains how gravity holds things in orbit … explained by a brain parasite living inside an astronomer. It’s really cute and clever, and full of delicious SCIENCE!

Endsville Eddie

Posted on 13 July, 201313 July, 2013 By Wil

I’ve spent the afternoon ripping old vinyl into digital files, mostly as an excuse to listen to these records I have in brilliant analog sound. I’m using an ION turntable I got from Think Geek* and Audacity to get it all done, and it’s easy and fun.

One of the records I have I got at a yard sale at least ten years ago. It’s called The New Sounds Of the Weird-ohs, and it’s really great surf/garage pop from 1964. It seems to have been pressed to sell models from the Hawk company, and all the songs are pretty much anthems for one of the model characters you could get, like Huey’s Hot Rod, Hot Dogger Hangin’ Ten, or Endsville Eddie. All the characters have an Ed Big Daddy Roth feeling to them, so the music matches up perfectly.

I’m pretty sure this is out of print (a quick search of the Internets tells me that it is) so I think it’s okay to share one track from the record. If it’s not okay, I guess the NSA will tell me by activating the secret mind probe it put into my cellphone.

I’m not sure how to embed a player in WordPress (I guess I should learn that), but here’s a link to the mp3 file: Endsville Eddie

Wait! I think I got an audioplayer to work! Click the big PLAY thingy: [sc_embed_player fileurl=”https://wilwheaton.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/endsville.mp3″]

*They don’t sell it anymore. Sadtimes.

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