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WIL WHEATON dot NET
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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Announcing The Day After and Other Stories

Posted on 20 December, 2010 By Wil

This is one of the scariest things I've ever done: I'm releasing a short collection of short fiction, called The Day After and Other Stories.

Last year, I collected a few short stories I'd written and sold them as a chapbook at PAX. It was a scary thing for me to do, because while I feel confident as a narrative non-fiction writer, I am paralyzed with terror whenever I think about releasing something I invented out of nothing more than an idea to the public, and before I actually release it, I hear Carrie's mother screaming at me, "THEY'RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU!"

A couple of things have happened recently, though, that gave me the courage to actually release this short collection of short stories to anyone who wants to buy it. First, Project Do Something Creative Every Day is making me feel less and less afraid of sucking. Like I said recently, the goal isn't to be perfect; the goal is to be creative. I don't think The Day After and Other Stories is perfect, but it is creative, and the few people I have shown it to told me they liked it.

Second, over 400 people expressed an interest in buying an autographed copy of The Happiest Days of Our Lives over the last couple of days. That really blew me away, and made me think, "Well, maybe there aren't as many people out there waiting for an excuse to laugh at you as you think. Also? It's adorable that you think you're that important to anyone, jackass."  

I've had these files ready to put on LuLu for over a year, and it wasn't until this morning that I screwed up the courage to actually do it. I'm sticking to my original plan, which is to sell the paperback for a limited time (10 days) and then just offer the PDF version. I'm not quite sure why I wanted to do it that way, but it's nontraditional, and a little weird, so there you go.

Okay, now here are the details about this:

The Day After and Other Stories is a very short collection of very short stories, available for a very short time.

The paperback is $11, because it's available for a limited time. I realize this is pricey for a 50 page book, so if you don't want to spend that much (and I don't blame you), you can get the PDF version for $5. Yay!

The paperback will only be available until December 30th, so if you wanted to get one, do it before then.

Here's the introduction:

Every year, before the summer convention season gets underway, I pull a few excerpts from whatever I plan to release in the fall, take them to my local print shop, and make a deliberately lo-fi, limited edition chapbook to take with me on the obligatory summer convention circuit.

I’ve done previews of Dancing Barefoot, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, Memories of the Future, and in 2008, I pulled together a sampler that eventually became Sunken Treasure.

While Memories of the Future is 2009’s “big” fall release, it didn’t make sense to me to release a Memories– based chapbook this summer, because one already exists.

It looked like there wasn’t going to be a 2009 entry in the traditional Wil Wheaton Zine-like Chapbook Extravaganza, until I realized that I have several pieces of unpublished fiction sitting in my office, just waiting to be published.

“Hey,” I said to myself, “people keep asking me to write and release fiction, and I’ve been waiting until I have an actual novel to give them. But these things totally don’t suck, and I bet readers would enjoy them.”

“That is an excellent idea, me,” I said. “And have I mentioned how smart and pretty you are?”

“Oh, stop it. You’re embarrassing me,” I said.

Together, myself and I collected some of my (mostly unpublished) fiction and put it into this chapbook, for safe keeping.

Even though this is limited to just 200 copies, it represents a significant step for me in my life as a writer, because it’s the first time I’ve collected and published stories that I made up. (You know, like a writer does.) I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for your support!

The more astute among you may have noticed that this says it's limited to 200 copies; that's because this was originally offered as a limited chapbook at PAX, and we're using the same files. Think of it as a delightful legacy issue, or something like that, if you must. I don't know how many of these books I'll actually sell, but I doubt the number will be exactly 200. When the paperback goes to the Land of Wind And Ghosts, though, I suppose I can check to see how many were sold, and you can use your very own Red Pen of Doom to put the actual number into your copy. Hey! Look! It's interactive!

Anyway, now you know, I'm terrified that nobody's going to like it, but the goal isn't to be perfect; the goal is to be creative.

I'm going to keep saying that until I don't feel like I'm going to throw up.

and the autographed book sale winners are …

Posted on 20 December, 2010 By Wil

I am totally thrilled that 419 of you entered the autographed book lottery, and I'll be honest: it's weird to me to think of choosing "winners" who get to buy something from me, but that's just my damn liberal guilt, I guess. (And, I think I said this before, but in case I didn't: the Bursar at my son's university thanks you for your purchase.)

So here's how I did this: I removed the duplicate comments, divided the remaining comments into 20 groups of 20, then rolled d20 three times. The first time gave me a group, the second time was to choose if I would start counting from the top or bottom (1-10, go top to bottom, 11-20 go bottom to top) and the final roll gave me the number I'd count to.

I could have used a bunch of different dice, but I decided that the d20 was perfect for this method, because it has a 5% chance of rolling any number (unlike a combination of d6 or something, that has a different Gaussian distribution that peaks around 13, muh-hay, guh-hey flaven) and it's also the only gaming die I have that's the size of a billiard ball, which felt appropriately massive for this occasion.

So, without any further ado, here are the nine people who were chosen by my giant d20. If your name is on this list, and you haven't gotten an e-mail from me, you should e-mail me RIGHT AWAY so I can get your book in the mail today:

1. Xuff

2. Dwayne Reinhardt

3. Terry Callan

4. Jeswils

5. Tamelam

6. Isisgate1

7. Jonathan Disher

8. Kwbeck

9. Bsv567

If you weren't chosen, do not despair! The response to this was so overwhelming and awesome, I was inspired to go ahead and release a chapbook of short fiction that I've been afraid to publish for almost a year. It will go up on Lulu a little later today, after I've taken care of signing and shipping these copies of Happiest Days.

a very limited (I mean VERY limited) autographed book lottery

Posted on 17 December, 2010 By Wil

Yesterday, I said:

I found nine hardback copies of The Happiest Days of Our Lives that I must have put there when they first arrived at my house a couple of years ago. They look as perfect as they did the day they were taken out of the box.

So I have this idea to sell them, that goes like this:

I will number these books 1-9, and sign them to whomever the buyer wants, with a dedication of my choosing. I will ship the book USPS Priority mail no later than Monday, which should ensure that it arrives before Christmas, in case that's important to you.

I'll do this for $50 a book, which will include shipping and handling.

I only have 9 of these, but I'm not sure anyone is interested in this, so before I go and set up the ordering and payment information, I need to know if anyone reading this is actually interested.

This would be a first come, first served sort of thing, sold to the first 9 people who leave comments at some time tomorrow (I'll figure that out and update this post later, if it's going to happen). I can ship internationally, but the buyer would have to cover the cost of shipping, because it's damn expensive.

I wasn't sure that anyone would be interested, and I'm delighted to discover that I was wrong about that. Initially, I thought I'd make it first come, first served, but I thought that might be a bummer for anyone who can't be at their computer at, say, noon today or whatever. So I thought that it would be more fair to everyone if it was a lottery.

So here's what I'm going to do: For the next 24 hours (maybe a tiny bit longer, if I sleep late tomorrow), you can leave a comment on this post, if you're interested in buying one of these ultra-limited signed copies of The Happiest Days Of Our Lives. 

Tomorrow, I'll roll dice (you know, like we gaming geeks do) to pick nine people who, uh, get a Golden Ticket, I guess.

I'll contact those people by e-mail, to let them know that they can buy one of these books. When those people respond, I'll get details and give payment instructions.

A couple important notes:

I'm only set up to take payment from PayPal, so if you hate PayPal (and I'm right there with you), don't bother with this.

Please ensure that you have an e-mail address attached to your identity here, so I can find you if you're one of the 9. Do not leave your e-mail address in your comment, because spammerbots will grab it and make your life miserable.

I will ship internationally, but the buyer will be responsible for shipping (express shipping to countries outside of the US can be very expensive, so find out how much that's going to cost ahead of time, so you don't get any unpleasant surprises.)

Please, please, please, don't use multiple accounts to enter this more than once. I can't stop you, but that would be really unfair to other people.

These books will be numbered "2010 Holiday Super Funtimes 1-9".

Yay!

Updated: Wow, 419 entries! That's awesome. I'll roll dice and notify the nine by Monday. (It's a very busy weekend here in Wheatonland).

Check. And. Mate.

Posted on 16 December, 2010 By Wil

On our way home from the grocery store tonight, I said to Anne, "Have you heard of this Tumblr called I'm Remembering?"

"No," she said, "what's that?"

"It's all these images and things from the eighties and early nineties, and it's pretty awesome." In spite of myself, I added with a rather copious amount of enthusiasm, "Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Swatch phone!"

She looked at me, blankly.

"You didn't have a Swatch phone?" I couldn't believe it. I mean, we both grew up in Los Angeles in the 80s. Swatch phones were practically issued at the border when they gave you your smog alert reference sheet.

"Dude, I didn't even have a Swatch."

I nearly crashed the car. "You didn't have a Swatch?!"

"Nope."

Luckily for us and everyone around us, we had stopped at a red light. "How could you not have had a Swatch?!"

"Well, in my defense," she said, "it was hard to get one." She paused for a long moment, looked at me, and added, "since you were wearing them all."

I opened my mouth to retort, but before I could say anything, she concluded: "At the same time."

Check. And. Mate.

The Lexus behind us honked to let me know the light had apparently been green for some time. I slowly pulled through the intersection.

"Well played, Mrs. Wheaton," I said. "Well played."

 

possible (and very limited) autographed book sale

Posted on 16 December, 2010 By Wil

I've been cleaning out my office, organizing comic books and games, and slowly crawling through a decade's accumulation of geek stuff.

It. Has. Been. AWESOME.

Last night, I went into the depths of the hallway closet, and behind a bunch of CDs and DVDs, I found nine hardback copies of The Happiest Days of Our Lives that I must have put there when they first arrived at my house a couple of years ago. They look as perfect as they did the day they were taken out of the box.

So I have this idea to sell them, that goes like this:

I will number these books 1-9, and sign them to whomever the buyer wants, with a dedication of my choosing. I will ship the book USPS Priority mail no later than Monday, which should ensure that it arrives before Christmas, in case that's important to you.

I'll do this for $50 a book, which will include shipping and handling.

I only have 9 of these, but I'm not sure anyone is interested in this, so before I go and set up the ordering and payment information, I need to know if anyone reading this is actually interested.

This would be a first come, first served sort of thing, sold to the first 9 people who leave comments at some time tomorrow (I'll figure that out and update this post later, if it's going to happen). I can ship internationally, but the buyer would have to cover the cost of shipping, because it's damn expensive.

So, what do you think? Interested? Let me know, or ask your questions in the comments below.

UPDATED: Okay, it looks like there are at least 9 potential buyers, so here's what I'll do: I'll put up a post later, where you can leave a comment to be entered into a lottery. I'll leave that open for 24 hours, and then roll dice to see who gets them. Maybe I'll roll them live on Ustream, if that's not to totally lame and ridiculous. I think that's fair, and gives everyone an equal chance to get in, even those who are /away from their computers.

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