quasi-live blogging wednesday’s dodger bullpen meltdown

Posted on By Wil

Molskine_fish_jerky
I was supposed to take Nolan to the Dodger game on Wednesday, but he opted to stay home and work on a history project, because he wants to get the best grade possible. "There will be a lot of Dodger games this year," he said on Tuesday, "but if I blow it on this project, I don’t get a second chance. I’m sorry we can’t go together."

Longtime readers of my blog know how that made me feel, and I’m still proud of him, three days later.

Since I already bought our tickets, I called my brother Jeremy and asked him if he’d like to go in Nolan’s place. He accepted, and we had an absolute blast at the game, even though the Dodger bullpen is painfully bad this year.

I blogged it, live-to-Molskine, and transcribed the whole thing at blogging.la:

7:47 PM – Navarro is up with the bases empty. I say to
Jeremy, "You know, not only can Navarro not make the throw to second,
he can’t hit, either." The words are barely out of my mouth when
Navarro slams the second pitch about 380′ for a solo homer. Jeremy
says, "Yes! Get angry at my brother, Navarro! Who’s up next? You also
suck!"

7:50 PM – The kid in front of us to our left has a chocolate
malt with a wooden spoon-shaped thing. I guess the plastic spoon was
just user error. Whew.

7:55 PM – Seo has a really great curveball.

7:58 PM – Piazza breaks up the no-hitter with a double to the
wall in center-right. Whatever. He’s still totally gay (not that
there’s anything wrong with that.) Jeremy blames me because I pointed
out that Seo had a no-hitter through four.

8:01 PM – Middle of the 4th, and they’re doing that Coca Cola
answer a question and win a coke thing down on the field. The guy gets
it right, and a really hot girl walks off the field with him. I say,
"Hey, she thinks she’s getting his coke, and doesn’t even know it’s soda!" Jeremy says, "Yeah, she’s toatally a Coke whore." We think we’re the funniest guys in the world. High-five.

8:06 PM – Kent is up with runners at the corners. I say to
Jeremy, "You know, the problem with Kent is that he’s really on the
downside of his career. Not only does he stuggle to turn two, he can’t
come through in the clutch with runners at the corners." I look down at
the field and say, "Your move, Mister Kent." Unfortunately, my
Navarro-fu doesn’t work and Kent is out.

it only makes me laugh

Posted on By Wil

The April 19th issue of The Onion arrived in my mailbox yesterday (it is a massive perk of being an AV Club contributor) and it’s one of the funniest complete issues I’ve read in months. Seriously, from top to bottom this one is so funny, it makes you want to write hyperbolic statements that begin, "Seriously, from top to bottom . . ."

My two favorite stories are Drunk Will Show You, Everybody

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—In response to the shit he knows everyone is saying
about him, local resident Todd Stenerud, after a prolonged drinking
session, announced his intention to show you and everyone else just
minutes before closing time at a local bar Monday.

"You people don’t know [what] the fuck you’re talking about," Stenerud
announced from his stool at Dan’s Pub. "You think I can’t? Know what?
I’ll show you. I’ll show everybody."

And the op-ed Baby, You Mean the World of Warcraft to Me

Come on, honey, why do you have to be like that? You know that
you’re my Elven princess. My one and only. I would dare say that there
is no one in all the realm who doesn’t know of our love. I have sung
your praises from the mouth of the Shadowthread Cave to the
Stranglethorn Vale of the Eastern Kingdoms. I’ve introduced you to my
comrades-in-arms in the Ulster guild, and they all accept you as kin.

And now you want to dissolve the greatest love ever to brighten my basement?

As long as I’m linking to Onion-related funny, the AV Club’s Summer Movie Preview, titled "Why Bother?" is out:

[E]very summer arrives with at least a few movies that threaten to give popcorn escapism a good name, movies like last year’s Batman Begins and War Of The Worlds. With that in mind, The A.V Club humbly presents a list of reasons why you’re probably better off
skipping the multiplexes altogether this summer. Of course, we could be
wrong.

X-Men: The Last Stand

What it’s about: Those nutty X-Men are at it again, this time dealing with the ramifications of a supposed cure for mutants.

Why it’s probably a waste of time: Four words: "Directed by Brett Ratner." No wait, six more words: "With Kelsey Grammer as The Beast."

Why it might be worth seeing anyway: Ratner’s most
infuriating trait, his inability to create a distinct directorial
style, might serve him well here. The trailer makes this look like one
of Bryan Singer’s X-Men films. If Ratner apes those well enough, it might be okay.

Finally, I think this week’s Games of our Lives, Circus Charlie, is pretty funny, if I do say so myself.

Gameplay: Are you ready to jump? You’d better be, because that’s about all you’ll be doing in Circus Charlie.
There are six different levels, and the objectives range from easy
(jumping through hoops of fire while riding a lion, jumping over
monkeys while walking on a tightrope) to more difficult (jumping from
one bouncy ball or trampoline to another) to nearly impossible (jumping
from a moving horse to a springboard and back).

To succeed in Circus Charlie, you’ll need to carefully use
the joystick to set your speed as you time your jumps. However, that’s
the only skill you’ll need to master, and once you’ve got that down,
it’ll be easy to reach for the high score—and to collect all the bags
of money on each level so you can give yourself a sensual massage in
all their bonus-point-delivering glory.

Could be mistaken for: Track & Field, Jump Jump Revolution

I remember being so disappointed the first time I played Circus Charlie back in the 80s, and how furious I was when I inadvertently played it several months later, unsure if it was "that one stupid jumping game that really sucked." In the quarter-centric economy of 1985, it was a significant hit to my otherwise robust portfolio, which was frequently invested in Mr. Do! and Super Pac-Man, with a much more successful return.

dreaming is free

Posted on By Wil

I had an incredibly vivid dream just before I woke up today about an earthquake, and when I got out of bed, I saw that there’d been a huge ‘quake near Tonga.

I’m going to take a nap now, and hope that I dream about the Dodgers not blowing a huge lead late in the game, because my brother and I are going to the game tonight.

why network neutrality matters, and is worth fighting for

Posted on By Wil


Save the Internet: Click here

For weeks, I’ve been trying to write about why Network Neutrality is so important, and why everyone who spends even three minutes a day online should be writing, calling, and faxing their representatives in Congress relentlessly until the so-called First Amendment of the Internet is guaranteed and becomes law. But whenever I start, I end up angry and depressed and frustrated, and the words just won’t come.

Today, Adam Green has a brilliant post at HuffPo that puts into simple language exactly why Network Neutrality is so important:

As the New York Times editorialized today:

 

"Net neutrality" is a concept that is still unfamiliar
to most Americans, but it keeps the Internet democratic. … One of the
Internet’s great strengths is that a single blogger or a small
political group can inexpensively create a Web page that is just as
accessible to the world as Microsoft’s home page. But this democratic
Internet would be in danger if the companies that deliver Internet
service changed the rules so that Web sites that pay them money would
be easily accessible, while little-guy sites would be harder to access
and slower to navigate. Providers could also block access to sites they
do not like.

If Net Neutrality is gutted, Google, eBay, and YouTube
either pay protection money to companies like AT&T or risk that
their sites process slowly on your computer. Comcast could
intentionally slow access to iTunes, steering Internet customers its
own music service. And the little guy with the next big idea would be muscled out of the marketplace, relegated to the "slow lane" of the information superhighway.

This isn’t just speculation — it’s already happened in places without Net Neutrality. Heck, AT&T’s CEO blatantly announced, "The Internet can’t be free."

That’s why an Internet revolt has begun–a revolt that [Telecom spokesman Mike] McCurry belittles. Folks as diverse as Craig from Craigslist, MoveOn, Gun Owners of America,  Google, eBay, and Amazon are all fighting back. 350,000 people signed a petition demanding Congress preserve Internet freedom, over 2,000 blogs have rallied the public, and even some celebrities are chiming in.

Craig Fields from Gun Owners of America hit the target right-on when he said

"Whenever you see people on the far left and far right
joining together about something Congress is getting ready to do, it’s
been my experience that what Congress is getting ready to do is
basically un-American."

(Emphasis mine)

There’s much more to his post, including a smackdown of Mike McCurry, who has become and outright lying shill for powerful telecom interests like AT&T who want to force a fundamental change to the way the Internet operates. Please read it. I think it’s the most important thing you’ll read today, and should help everyone who’s heard about this issue (but doesn’t know exactly what it is — which includes a lot of people, including myself until about last week) understand why it’s so important.

On a personal note: without the Internet, I’d be just another failed actor struggling to make ends meet. Because I had the same ability to put together a website and reach an audience as anyone else, I was able to put my words on your screens, and eventually into a book that got into many of your hands. If AT&T or some other big telecom decided that regular guys like me had to pay some sort of protection money to have the same ability to reach you as Google or MSN does, I never would have been able to get WWdN off the ground, much less found Monolith Press, publish Dancing Barefoot, and start an entirely new career as a writer.

We’ve all taken for granted that we’ll have equal access to the Internet, both as consumers and as creators of content. Right now, very powerful, very greedy, and very un-democratic businesses are trying very hard to take that away from us. They must be stopped.

Again, Adam Green:

The only way to protect Net Neutrality is for Congress to take
action now, as it re-writes our nation’s telecom laws. Senators Olympia
Snowe (R-ME) and Byron Dorgan (D-ND) and Representative Ed Markey
(D-MA) have introduced legislation to do this. Mike McCurry and his
clients like AT&T are fighting it tooth and nail.

If you are outraged, don’t just sit there . . .  take these steps:

1. SIGN a Net Neutrality petition to Congress:

2. CALL Congress now:

3. BLOG about this issue, or put our "Save the Internet" logo on your Web site:

4. MYSPACE: Add "Save the Internet" as a friend:

5. WRITE A LETTER to Congress:

6. VISIT our coalition Web site for more information, SavetheInternet.com

it’s cosmic, man

Posted on By Wil

I was very spoiled by Teen Titans. It was a fantastically talented group of actors, writers, and animators, lead by passionate producers and one of the best directors I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. I was crushed when the show was cancelled not only because it meant I wouldn’t have the job, but because it meant that I wouldn’t get to work with this incredible group of people several times a year any more.

When I found out that I would be working on Legion of Super Heroes, I was excited, but I kept my expectations in check . . . what were the odds of lightning striking twice?

Well, it turns out that those odds were 1:1. I had an absolute blast on Friday. The entire cast accepted me right away, and welcomed me into their show (they’ve been working together for eleven episodes, already) and made me feel like I was part of their team who had been there from the start. The producers, writers, and the director were just hawesome, and I can’t wait to go back and work with them all again this week . . . because I’m a recurring character!

Oh yeah, baby. Recurring character. Sweet.

I know that Warner Brothers is very touchy about revealing too many details before they are announced (Marv Wolfman and I got our wrists slapped when we both mentioned something about Aqualad on our blogs when we worked together on Deep Six) but I got an okay from a highly-placed source to at least reveal that I am playing the part of Cosmic Boy, one of the founders of the Legion.

Finding Cosmic Boy’s voice was fun: my instinct said that I should stand for him (he’s sort of an arms-across-the-chest kind of guy) but with my damn hip hurting, I ended up sitting . . . big mistake. I struggled for the first act, until I could get the engineer to reset my mic so I could stand up. It’s amazing what a huge difference a little thing like sitting vs. standing makes; it’s the difference between playing outfield with or without a glove, or running with shoes that don’t quite fit.

Standing up and settling into him let me bring Cosmic Boy to life, and really find his point of view about himself and his relationship with the other Legionaries. Once I knew who he was, and once he lived in me, I was able to do some really cool stuff. At one point in the last act, I felt so confident that I knew him, I even asked for a second take on a line where I thought I could play a more interesting beat than I did in the first take, which everyone on the other side of the glass was very happy with. I rarely ask for additional takes because if an actor is going to ask for a second pass he’d better have something really great to do, to justify the extra time and expense, and until recently I just haven’t had the level of confidence as a voice actor necessary to pull that off.

I can’t say exactly what dialogue or scene was, but you Meisner actors will probably grok this: there are three beats in the line. The first time I did it, I set him straight, enlightened him, and went one better. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized that enlightening him and going one better were essentially the same beat, so I asked for another take where I set him straight, enlightened him, and shared bad news, which sort of went one better but was more specific and "shaded" differently and was more interesting. I felt an emotional connection to the words and the scene after the second take, and I guess the other actors did, too. One of them said, "Oh, I really liked that," and another said, "Dude, you’re not Cosmic Boy; you’re Actor Boy!" To which I replied (in a Ted Knight voice), "Yes, Actor Boy . . . who, in his disguise as Waiter Boy, keeps the city safe from doooom."  And there was much rejoicing.

I wish I could show or discuss the character models I saw while I was there, but I think that’s a one-way ticket to unemployment . . . but they are really, really cool. I’m back again on Friday, and if Warner Brothers doesn’t give me the cockpunch for what I’ve written here today, maybe I can get some permission to release a few more details. Now, I think I’m going to walk around my house and talk like Ted Knight.

"Meanwhile, in Wil’s office, Ferris and Riley sleep on the floor, unaware that a mysterious stranger lurks just outside the wall. Can Actor Boy arrive in time to save them from doooooom? Only Monroe and Spaulding know for sure!"