I played for about six hours in a 1-2 No Limit Hold’Em game at the MGM Grand tonight. I planned to get into the HORSE game with the rest of the poker bloggers, but the list was so long, I ended up in the 1-2 game instead.

Just before midnight, a man with a puffy face, tired eyes, and the aura of defeat sat down into the 7 seat. He bought for 100, as his obviously exhausted wife sat behind him, her hand supportively on his shoulder.

He was the worst player I’ve ever seen in my life, and after two painfully quick rebuys, he left the table. When he got up, everything about him said he had played with — and lost — the rent money.

Though I hadn’t taken any of his chips, I felt terribly sorry for him, as he walked, dejected, out of the poker room.

I played for another two hours, and finally cashed out four hundred and ninety-eight dollars better off than when I started.

I just got back from Monogram Sweater, but thanks to the magic of Typepad’s post-it-in-the-future thingy, this won’t publish until I’m in Las Vegas on Friday. Cool.

I was very nervous on the way to the theater, more nervous than I’ve been before a performance in a long time. It didn’t make sense to me that I felt that way, because I was performing material I’m very familiar with, which I’ve performed several times before. On the way there, I puzzled it out, and came to the conclusion that I had a perfect storm of pre-trip anxiety, separation anxiety, and poker tournament anxiety, magnified by holy-shit-it’s-almost-the-holidays* anxiety. Once I realized what was actually going on, I calmed down a little bit, and I was grateful for the opportunity to take the stage and perform.

See, when I’m acting on stage, that’s the only thing going on in my entire world at that moment. I honestly forget about everything else in the universe while I’m in a scene. Even though I enjoy writing, I don’t get that same total escape when I’m doing it like I do with acting. I love that escape so much, I don’t think I’ll ever completely lose that thing which makes me an actor.

So the show was great. The other writers created hilarious stories (if you ever get a chance to see James Judd perform "James and the Momo Sisterhood," do it) and though the house was small, they were a very receptive and supportive group. I think they had a good time.

I took my iRiver with me to record my bit in the show. I stupidly put it on the music stand, next to my book, so the audio is pretty lousy . . . but I’m here it is anyway, for those of you who are forgiving and just want to sort of hear what it was like in the theatre. It blows out at the beginning, and again around the 5 minute mark for a bit. Right near the end you can hear my cell phone ring in my pocket, because Anne was calling me. Yeah, I thought I’d turned it to silent mode, but I guess it got nudged back into "ring while Wil is on the stage" mode. I don’t think anyone in the audience heard it, but it’s clearly there on the recording.

So, with the understanding that the audio is far from perfect, please pretend you are in a tiny little theatre in Hollywood, and you’ve just seen two brilliant performaces as I walk onto the stage . . . and enjoy The Trade: Download TheTradeLive (5.7 MB -14:14 Min).mp3

*(Normally, I’d just say Christmas, but I’m trying to make Bill O’Reilly’s enemies list.)

At John Scalzi’s Whatever, I just read

As part of a barrel-full of Winnie the Pooh anniversary events, Disney is working on a new animated series that will replace Christopher Robin with a 6-year-old girl.

"We got raised eyebrows even in-house at first, but the feeling
was these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air that
only the introduction of someone new could provide," says Nancy Kanter
of the Disney Channel.

"Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing," she says.

Uh, no. You stupid corporate jerk. Timeless characters do not need "a breath of fresh air" BECAUSE THEY ARE TIMELESS! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Look. I’m a huge Disney nerd. I practically grew up at Disneyland, and I’ve done two great movies for Disney that I’m very proud of. I know Disney is a big evil empire, but I still like my Disney stuff . . . but this is fucking ridiculous. This has nothing to do with "breathing new life" into anything; it’s entirely about squeezing a few more pennies out of a successful franchise, and exploiting the anniversary of a cherished work of literature.

I have an idea: if Disney is so serious about breathing fresh life into classic characters, why not let Mickey Mouse enter the Public Domain? Okay, how about Goofy? Donald Duck? Admit it: those characters are getting a little stale, and could really use a breath of fresh air that only derivative works can provide.