A week ago, while I folded clothes and put laundry away, I realized that most of my T-shirts were pretty much worn out.
So I decided to do a little online shopping at Think Geek.
I picked up a couple of cool shirts, including The Geek Workshirt and The Wargames T-shirt. I got a T-shirt for Ryan that says “Schrödinger’s Cat is dead” on the front, and “Schrödinger’s Cat is alive” on the back, and I picked up this hilarious shirt for myself that says

> SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned.

I decided that I’d wear my hilarious SQL query shirt today, so when I got out of the shower, I grabbed it off the counter, pulled it on over my head . . . and realized that I’d put it on backwards.
0 rows returned, indeed.

This comes from Warren Ellis’ blog (which I am stunned to realize wasn’t in my RSS subscriptions until about 42 seconds ago), via boingboing.
Quoth Xeni:“This is so 0111001101110111011001010110010101110100.”

I signed, and Anne helped me pack, label, and stamp the remaining fundraiser book orders this weekend.
We just got back from the post office, where we shipped the domestic fundraiser book orders — if you haven’t gotten your book yet, look for it in 3-5 days. I forgot that even though it’s just a book, I have to fill out customs forms and crap, so the international (including Canada) orders will go out tomorrow. Sorry 🙁
We did all the math last night, and the fundraiser completely covered all the office visits and medication for Felix, Sketch, and Ferris, with was just under $500 left over. Anne and I rounded that up to $500, and we are donating it to a no-kill shelter later this week. I don’t know if the shelter wants the attention, so unless they give me permission, I won’t disclose their name.
My deepest, and most sincere thanks to everyone who bought books, and my apologies to the five of you who had to get refunds because we ran out.

When I was couch-bound the last couple of weeks, I watched a lot of movies, and I thought it would be fun to do a few mini-reviews:

• The Longest Day (1962) — Before Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers, this was the closest a non-combatant could get to the D-day invasion. I am a huge fan of Band of Brothers, and it was great to see one of the films in its family tree. I especially loved the performances from Robert Mitchum and John Wayne. Like Midway, all the non-English speaking characters are subtitled, which gave it a docudrama feel that I enjoyed. The title isn’t misleading, though. This film is l o n g, so get comfortable.
• Bullitt (1968) — If you think, as I did, that this is just about a great car chase, you’re missing out. Robert Vaughn turns in a fantastic performance as the guy you’re not quite sure you can trust, Steve McQueen is as cool and unflappable (without being aloof) as ever, and I have a crush on the 1968 version of Jacqueline Bissett. The DVD that I have includes a couple of cool features about the making of the movie, produced when the film was in production, that help a 2005 audience understand how ground-breaking this film was.
• California Split (1974) — Contrary to what I expected, this is not a simple gambling movie; this is a movie about two incredibly loveable losers, played to perfection by Elliot Gould and George Segal, who happen to be compulsive gamblers. The acting, story, and direction are fantastic. All the actors feel like real people, and the whole thing has such an air of authenticity, the audience could feel like it was just along for the ride with these guys, if Altman could just let the camera sit still for a second. It’s constantly pushing in or pulling out, and just when I started to feel like I was witnessing real, flawed, fascinating people . . . the damn camera would make some unnecessary move and scream, “Hey! You’re watching a movie!” I still think it’s a great film, though. I can’t say enough about the improvisation between Elliot Gould and George Segal, and Gwen Welles is outstanding. If you like character-driven movies, I think you’ll enjoy this one.
• Night of the Hunter (1955) — Also known as the Robert Mitchum “Love” and “Hate” tattoo movie. This film disturbed me the same way that “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe?” did, but for entirely different reasons. Robert Mitchum plays a bad, bad man, who claims to be a preacher, but is actually a con-man and thief. When he finds out that his cell-mate Ben Johnson (played wonderfully by Peter Graves)’s family has $10,000 hidden somewhere in their possession, he tries to get the cash by marrying Johnson’s widow. Trouble is, the widow (Shelly Winters) doesn’t know where the money is — that knowledge is held in the heads of her small children, who were sworn to secrecy by their father before he was arrested. Winters is amazing as the woman who is so afraid of becoming a spinster she’ll marry Mitchum, who oozes as much malevolence as the devil himself. I won’t spoil any of the story, because it’s one of the most suspenseful things I’ve ever watched. A+++++++ Will Do Business Again!!!1
• The Cincinnati Kid 1965 — I wasn’t trying to have a Steve McQueen-a-thon, I swear. I just figured that if I couldn’t play poker, at least I could watch what is almost universally considered to be the best poker movie of them all (yes, that includes Rounders) Okay, after Bullitt, The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven, and The Cincinnati Kid, I totally have a not-gay crush on Steve McQueen. I wish I could be 1/8 as cool as he is . . . and those eyes! You know how “Nobody fucks with the Jesus?” Well, nobody fucks with the Steve McQueen, either, if they know what’s good for them. Karl Malden, Edward G. Robinson, and Ann Margaret give flawless performances in this film about a hot poker player (McQueen) who takes on a player so amazing, he’s simply known as “The Man” (Robinson). I have this thing for characters who are deeply flawed, yet sympathetic, and Karl Malden, as McQueen’s friend Shooter, is one of the greatest I’ve ever seen. Ann Margaret is so sexy, so sultry, and so much trouble . . . and that’s all I’ll say about that. Rip Torn and Joan Blondell round out a superb cast, and Norman Jewison, who also did . . . And Justice For All and the original, superior-to-the-remake-in-nearly-every-way The Thomas Crown Affair (and I’m not just saying that because it stars my hero Steve McQueen) knows when to be subtle, and when to really let us have it. My DVD has a very entertaining commentary from Dave Foley and Phil Gordon on the poker scenes, that even non-poker players will enjoy. Poker players, on the other hand, almost certainly wait for the day when they hit their one-outer and get to say, “That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Making the wrong move at the right time?”
• Star Wars (1977) — A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, George Lucas still cared about story and characters. The remastered DVD is gorgeous, and Empire of Dreams could make a weaker person forget about Episode One.

I also watched a whole bunch of WSOP 2004 and 2003 reruns on ESPN, and almost the entire second season of World Poker Tour on DVD. I know that I watched more than six movies, but they’ve blurred together into a medication-woven Gerald Scarfe / Ralph Steadman tapestry that I think is best left undisturbed.

Since I wrote about voice actors the other day, I’ve been personally attacked, called names, and vilified all over the Internets, often by people whose work I respect and admire. I’m not under the delusion that I’m going to change any minds, but this has bothered me all weekend, so I want to just clarify a couple of things:

1. I am proud of my union, and I completely support my fellow working actors. I’m not going to apologize for that. However, I’ve read several other blogs, and comments on my own blog, which suggest that I believe that actors should get paid before or instead of the other people who work on the game. I never said that, and I don’t feel that way.
2. Most actors don’t live in huge mansions, drive around in expensive cars, and live the lifestyle many people seem to think we do. I, for example, still live paycheck to paycheck. I’m not complaining, just trying to correct what I believe is a serious misconception.
3. For many of the actors who are affected by this contract, the raise they will get — the first in twelve years — could make the difference between having health coverage, or being uninsured. I think that’s pretty important.
4. I completely respect and admire the people who work so hard to create the games that we all love to play. The blog I wrote, from a working actor’s perspective, was in no way meant to demean or disrespect the people who are currently very busy attacking me, my union, and my fellow actors. Without you guys, there wouldn’t even be a game for us to perform in, much less play. I sincerely hope that you all get the recognition and compensation that you clearly deserve.

I’d also like to reprint a few things I wrote to a developer whose work I very much enjoy and admire:

I completely support developers getting seriously improved wages, including profit-sharing. As many have pointed out, without the developers, there is no game, so when a game (or the engine that drives it) really takes off, the people who created the damn thing
should absolutely share in the profits their hard work helped create.
It seems like many developers are angry with SAG because SAG stood up for its members, which is what a union is supposed to do. It just doesn’t make any sense to me that SAG is being viewed with such animosity, just for doing its job. Actors represent less than 3% of the total budget on games, so it’s incredibly unlikely that if SAG were able to make some residual gains, it would even affect developers’ pay. I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt that producers are going to tell developers that they can’t afford to pay them, because actors are now taking up 4.5% or 5% of the budget.
SAG doesn’t have it out for developers, and neither do I. SAG doesn’t want actors to profit at the expense of developers, and neither do I. To be honest, I bet you that the SAG negotiating committee didn’t spend any time thinking about developers — not because SAG doesn’t respect the incredibly hard work developers do, but because SAG is an actors union, and is therefore focused on actors’ interests.
I don’t understand what developers gain by spending energy attacking SAG, when SAG is just doing what its membership expects it to do. As far as I can tell, voice actors and developers have the same ultimate goal, and I just don’t get why developers are so angry with SAG for trying to reach that goal. It seems like a lot of developers and gamers are pissed at SAG because SAG has the ability to stand up to our employers and ask for better wages, and from an Art of War standpoint, that is an awfully huge waste of energy. It makes much more sense to me for developers to take that energy and those resources, point it at producers, and take the fight to them. Because, ultimately, getting angry at SAG, or me, or other working actors, isn’t going to get developers better contracts or profit-sharing. All it’s going to do is take focus away from the people who can make those things happen.

As I said, I don’t expect this to change any minds, but I hope it clarifies some things, at least a little bit. But just to belabor one point, because this is incredibly important to me: I did not intend to disrespect, discount, or demean developers, level designers, artists, programmers, or any of the people who put thousands of hours into the games they help create. I know what it feels like when someone insults and belittles the work you do, and if I caused anyone to feel that way, I sincerely apologize.