Several months ago, I did an interview for a show called The Technofile, hosted by a guy named l a z l o w. Now, anyone who has played Grand Theft Auto 3 or Vice City knows that is a big part of both those games, so when I called him for our interview I was able to keep it together for about 75 seconds before I blurted out, “Oh man, I have to tell you how much I love Vice City, especially the soundtrack, and it’s just super cool that I get to talk with you!”
He was very gracious and endured my fanboy explosion, and we did our interview. When we were done, we chatted a little bit more, and somehow the topic of GTA: San Andreas came up. One thing lead to another, and lazlow asked me if I would be interested in being a caller on one of the radio stations.
I just about crapped my pants, and told him that I LOVE the GTA games, and I’d do any part at all just so I could be part of San Andreas. He told me that he’d bounce some ideas around, and get back to me about it.
A few weeks later, he called and offered me a part as a news reporter in the game. Of course I accepted, and back in summer, I got to spend the better part of an afternoon in a sound booth, bringing the character of Richard Burns to life. It was some of the most fun I’ve ever had, because lazlow, just like the producers of GR2, worked with me, and encouraged me to take some risks, improvise a little bit, and really push the limits of what we could get away with.
It’s super cool, man! Richard Burns is one of those characters that most people would probably say I couldn’t play, and most studios would have probably dismissed me out of hand, but lazlow believed in me, and took a big chance on me . . . and apparently it’s paid off, because about a month after I did my sessions, lazlow called me, and told me that he’d played my bits for some very important people at Rockstar Games, and one of the Really Big Important Dudes said something like, “I love Richard Burns!”
I haven’t been able to talk about this since I recorded it, because I signed an NDA. I haven’t discussed the details of my scenes with anyone, not even Anne or the kids, and none of my friends even knew that I was in it at all. Matter of fact, the only person who knew about it was my brother, and that’s because he’s also a talented voice actor who has a cameo on the game. But even when we talked about it, I couldn’t discuss specifics with him, and we kept calling it “The Project.”
It has been killing me to keep this to myself, because being in GTA: San Andreas is like being in Empire Strikes Back, but Rockstar was obviously very concerned about protecting the story, and I respect that. However, since it’s come out today (and it already breaking sales records, apparently) I can do the excited geek dance right here on WWdN –> w00000t!
As an actor, I always want to be part of projects that I am proud of, that I can confidently tell my friends about, and that doesn’t happen very often . . . I can’t believe that I get to be part of what is already being called “the single best title on the PS2 [the reviewer has] ever played.”
Again, I say: w00000t!

I stopped watching SNL years ago, because . . . well, because it’s thirty-five different kinds of sucks.
So I missed the whole Ashlee Simpson thing, until I read about it at daypop or blogdex or something earlier today. The Internets are abuzz with people slamming Ashlee Simpson, but I don’t think that’s the real story. I mean, anyone who is surprised that Ashlee Simpson would be lip synching on SNL (or any other time, really) would probably be surprised to learn that the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were fake.
(I hope I didn’t ruin Jurassic Park for anyone . . . but if I did, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.)
The real story, if you ask me, is more about SNL, and how it traded Andy Kaufman for Andy Dick. The real microscope shouldn’t be focused on Ashlee Vanilee Simpson, but should be focused on SNL, which used to be a reliable source of biting commentary and satire, but is now just another predictable, corporate, unimaginative stop on the flavor of the month’s publicity tour.
Tony Pierce, who keeps one of the greatest blogs on the planet, nailed the demise of SNL perfectly:

saturday night live used to be counterculture. it used to be punk rock. but it hasn’t been punk rock in decades and the other night night just put the last nail in your coffin. and good riddance i say. you are the establishment. you should do your lame open, show the cartoon, do weekend update, show the band, and get off the shitter. but you hate us. thats why you keep doing all this bad tv.
i know you hate us because you hired ashlee. thats not love. the highlight of most of the episodes of snl used to be the musical guests.
david bowie singing in a sarcophagus.
i remember the stones being on there, the dead, the replacements.
why don’t you take what happened saturday night as a hint that your show has jumped the shark. that you’re too old that you don’t care any more what is counterculture to america and the best way to realize that is by having jude law host and ashlee simpson “sing”.

Bingo, Tony.
B-I-N-G-fucking-O.
afterthought: I wasn’t clear when I posted this last night: If I had declared that the show was a pile without having watched it at all for years, I would have earned a special “asshat” badge. When I said that I haven’t watched SNL in years, what I meant was I haven’t gotten in front of the TV every Saturday night at 11:35 pm and stayed there until 1 am, rocking with laughter at the show. What I meant was, there used to be a time when something big would happen in the news, and I’d turn to my friend Dave and say, “Man, I can’t wait to see what SNL does with this!” What I meant was, several times over the last few years, I’ve tuned in for at least the first 15 minutes (where they usually put their strongest material), and I’ve found it to be the opposite of funny, clever, or entertaining. But that’s just my opinion, and if you :heart: the show, I’m not going to argue with you about it. Finally, I am certain that the writers and actors on SNL are all talented, dedicated people who work as hard as they can to produce a great show, but it sure seems like the network won’t let them push the limits like they once did. That is what I meant by corporate and unimaginative.
And I know that Tony Pierce has said some unkind things about me in the past. He’s still a great blogger, and everyone should still read his site. If you doubt me, check out his photo essays. They’re incredible.
Okay. Now go watch Kids In The Hall. Seriously.

Home from Dallas. It’s cool but weird that I can travel over 3000 miles in under 24 hours. The world really is getting smaller.
High point: One of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen told me: “You are seriously hot.”
Low point: I had to rush through about 40 people because I had to race to the airport to make my plane yesterday.
Most annoying point: There was a window-washing scaffolding hanging against the wall outside my hotel room, and when the wind kicked up around 6am yesterday, the cables started to whack against the wall so hard it shook the “artwork” the hotel had hung on it. It was impossible to go back to sleep, so I got to enjoy the entire day on 5 hours of sleep.
Absolute favorite moment in the last 72 hours: When my plane took off from Dallas yesterday evening, we climbed up through fluffy orange clouds and flew toward the setting sun, which painted the entire city below us pink and gold.
Much, much more to come later . . .

I’m playing in the Poker Bloggers Tournament tonight at Poker Stars. It’s 20 +2 NLHE, and anyone who is interested in playing or watching should go read Iggy for details.
I came in second in a tourney in Austin, and I’ve been playing fairly well in ring games recently (even though my pocket aces got cracked night before last and cost me 40 bucks in a 2-4 game . . . goddamn paired board), but I’m pretty sure I’m dead money in this tournament. Iggy is going pro, and the other bloggers I’m facing have a lot more tournament experience than I do, but if I get to drop The Hammer at least once, I’ll be happy.
Tomorrow I fly out to Dallas for the Dallas Comic Con on Saturday, and then I fly back home on Saturday night so I can do my Borders book signing on Sunday. I hope some locals can make it to both events.
Final thought for this morning: If the World Series is half as good as the League Championship Series, it’s going to be a great final week of baseball.

It’s raining outside while I write this. Our whole house smells like punkin pie, cinnamon sticks and apple cider (thank you, Illuminations) and I’m listening to The Astrud Gilberto Album from Verve (I give it a thousand stars and fifteen thumbs up) while I write my next two columns for Dungeon.
Yesterday afternon, I recorded a ton of lines for a video game that is so super secret, it hasn’t even been announced yet! It was really fun, and I can’t wait to tell WWdN readers about it.
Last night, I saw a poster for Ghost Recon 2 in a local game store, and I asked the clerk when it would come out.
“Ghost Recon Two is going to be the best game EVER!” He said, and he said it with such unabashed enthusiasm, I blurted out, totally in spite of myself, “Dude! I know! I’m totally in that game! It’s going to be so cool!”
It was so cool to hear someone being so excited about a project I was in, without knowing I was in it . . . I just wanted to geek out with him, but I immediately felt like I was showing off, you know? Like, “Hey! Pay attention to me!” Before I could explain that I wasn’t trying to be a dick, he said, “I thought I recognized you. Can I shake your hand?”
I’ve never had someone ask me that before, that I can remember, so I nodded and shook his hand. I still felt like a dick, though, and I was so embarassed I left pretty quickly.
When I got home, I tried to stay up and watch Las Vegas, but I guess I’m still wiped out from the weekend, because I fell asleep before it was over. When I woke up, Anne was snuggled into my shoulder, my cat Sketch was snuggled into my side, and Ferris was snuggled into my feet. Yes, it was Snugglefest 2004 on my bed, and I had to disturb everyone to turn off the lights and blow out the candles.
Later this afternoon, I have an audition over at Disney for a new cartoon. It’s SUPER cool, because the casting people specifically requested me from my agents! When I haven’t been working on Dungeon today, I’ve been working on my “feisty, spunky and fun male 16-20” voice.
This is shaping up to be a really good day, and I just remembered something I told Anne about a month ago: “You know what’s cool? I feel like I’m exactly where I am supposed to be in my life. I feel content, but not complacent. That’s awesome.”
I’m making notes about Linucon right now, and I’ll try my best to get a trip report together soon.