A few people have e-mailed me recently and wondered where my posts from the politics department have all gone. There’s no shortage of things to be outraged about: the torture in Abu Ghraib, the daily barrage of lies coming out of the Bush administration about the war, the New York Times’s half-assed apology for helping Bush and the neocons mislead the country into war (way to let Judith Miller get off scott-free, Times. That’s some top-notch responsibility-taking you’ve got going there) . . . but here’s the deal: I’m actually getting paid to write some things now (more on that tomorrow), and I have editors and readers who expect things on time — that don’t totally suck — so I don’t have a lot of “extra” time right now. When I write about political issues, I like to heavily research and footnote my comments. My goal when I write about politics is not to simply rant and rave . . . it’s to hopefully enlighten, and inform people. Right now, I don’t have time to do that, but there are others on the Intarweb who are doing a fantastic job: Salon, DailyKos, Atrios, Josh Marshall, The Daily Howler, Juan Cole, and Kevin Drum are just a few of the sites I read at least once a day. I do a lot of nodding along in agreement when I read them, and they always say what I would say, with more eloquence and passion than I can currently muster.
It’s a strange thing, the concept and reality of “time.” There are so many things that I want to do in a day, and there really isn’t enough time to get it all done. As I get older, I find that my time is more and more valuable . . . and I have less and less of it. I’m still working up the D&D campaign for Ryan and Nolan, and I just joined a new campaign as a player . . . the first campaign I’ve played in since high school. I haven’t had time to sit down and play poker in ages, and I’m still reading the same book I started almost three weeks ago. Roger Waters was on to something, man.
So in consideration of this time thing, and how it ties into the lack of political writing, which is, I guess, what this entry has become all about: I can only write so much, and I can only write so much that’s not total crap. It takes more time energy to write a good political post than it does to write about something that truly brings me joy and makes me happy. And you know what? There’s enough anger and strife in the world right now. I’d rather put my time and energy into reflecting on the things that make me happy, than the things that piss me off.
When I put myself in lockdown to finish Just A Geek, I opened up this creative vein, and all kinds of stuff came flowing out. I wrote almost daily for Best Week Ever, put up a few things at the Cult of the One Eyed Cat, and contributed pretty frequently to blogging.la . . . but once I was done, I just . . . ran out of energy. My friend Kathleen described it as “red-lining” for weeks, which made a lot of sense to me. Since I finished, I feel like my creative engine was so heavily taxed for so long, it takes longer to get it started, and it’s harder to rev it up to a point where it churns out lots of good stuff.
Over the last week or so, I’ve started to feel creatively rested, and I think I’ll be able to write here more often . . . but more importantly, I’ll get back to more narrative work, like lying in odessa or some of my recent blogs about the kids.
I gave a talk to Nolan’s humanities class about two weeks ago (man, speaking to thirty 12 year-olds is harder than addressing a convention hall of thousands!) and I discussed how writing can take you places — emotionally, and physically — the same way reading a good book, or watching a good movie can.
For the time being, when I write, I’m going to visit some cool places . . . but now, I’m going to read my Expanded Psionics Handbook.

I’ve known Chris Hardwick for over a decade, which is just short of “since forever.” He was in a fraternity with my friend Cal, and Cal introduced him to our group of friends when I was sixteen or seventeen. Chris and I immediately hit it off, mostly because we have the exact same ultra-twisted sense of humor, and we’ve been friends ever since.
Over the years, Chris has grown into one of the most talented people I know (which, surprisingly, is saying a lot. It turns out that I know a lot of talented people.) He’s a brilliant comedy writer, and an incredibly talented stand-up performer.
But the reason I’m writing about him today is to share with the world his latest project, which made me gasp with astonishment and convulse with laughter: Rodeohead.
Yeah. Because his rock opera based on the movie Tron wasn’t enough, Chris made a bluegrass tribute to Radiohead.
Hey Chris, stop being so funny. It’s fucking up the comedy curve for the rest of the class, ya bastard.
PS Chris says, “would you mind terribly mentioning that this was done with mike phirman? this is definitely a hard ‘n phirm thing that i can’t remotely take all of the credit for. this has lived on phirman’s computer for the last year and i want him to know that he’s appreciated.
thank you a gajillion times,
your friend in time,
emmett “doc” brown

As I write this, the house is silent, except for Ferris and Riley playing “tear the everlivingcrap out of what used to be a soccer ball” in the living room, while several varieties of finch and sparrow are singing songs in my mist-shrouded back yard. It’s cool in Pasadena — my ambient orb glows green. Nolan and Ryan are on the couch, reading books, and the smell of coffee and toast is wafting out of the kitchen behind me.
Man, it’s a peaceful, serene morning, and a great way to start out the last day of an incredible weekend.
Thanks to WWdN readers, Just A Geek climbed as high as number 21 on Amazon’s Top 100 this weekend. At one point, it was the third highest pre-order they carry, alongside books by Stephen King and Bill Clinton. Dancing Barefoot also climbed back up from the 9000s to number 208!
You know, two years ago, when I started writing what became these two books, I thought I’d be lucky to sell 1000 combined. I hoped that readers would enjoy them, but I was unsure . . . this is just amazing: Barefoot is rated 5 stars with 93 reviews, and the chief complaint is that it’s too short (I agree, but the idea all along was for it to be a companion to Geek), and Geek has already peaked higher on the charts than Barefoot ever did, and it’s not even released, yet.
But this incredible, and unexpected, book success isn’t even why the weekend has been so amazing. Actually, it pales in comparison to why I’ll treasure the memories of this weekend for the rest of my life . . .
Anne’s goofing off with a couple of her girlfriends who have birthdays this weekend, so I’ve sort of “taken point” with the kids, and it has been sublime, effortless, joyous . . . I have felt the way I’ve always hoped to feel with them: like we love and respect each other, and enjoy each other’s company.
For the last eight years I’ve done everything humanly possible to help build a loving and supportive relationship with them, while always respecting their emotional limits . . . even when it was incredibly painful to feel like I was more interested in closing the gap than they were. I don’t believe that it’s my place as their stepfather to try to be their buddy, or force closeness on them if they’re not ready for it, or interested in it. It has not always been easy, and sometimes the hardest thing I’ve experienced as a parent is setting aside what I want, when it conflicts with what the kids need. It’s been especially tough when my relationship with them, (and my role in their lives,) has been intentionally and actively undermined, but I’ve always stayed focused on what’s best for them, and it’s during times like these, when I see and feel the results of my parenting, that I know I’m doing the right thing.
Friday night we watched Miracle, which is that movie about the 1980 US Men’s Gold Medal hockey team. I remember when that happened in real life, and it was awesome to watch it with them, and share my personal historical perspective on the Iranian Hostage crisis, Jimmy Carter’s “We have to be able to dream” speech, and, of course, the Olympic games themselves.
When I was a teenager, I played ice hockey, as a goal tender, and I got to play in a few charity games with this celebrity hockey team. Several of the players on that team were from the 1980 men’s team, including Mike Eruzione and Jim Craig, and while I didn’t get to know them very well, they always treated me like a fellow player — especially Jim Craig — so I have always felt sort of a connection to those guys. It was great to see their story brought to life in such a great movie.
Hey, this is a good time to throw this line into the water: I know that the celebrity team still plays, and while I’m not really an “A” List celebrity right now, I still skate. If anyone from the team is reading this, or hears about this, I’d love to play with you guys again.
Ryan and Nolan loved the movie as much as I did, and I can enthusiastically recommend it to WWdN readers. Kurt Russell is fantastic as Herb Brooks, too. I’m hearing, “I’m proud to be an american, but I’m ashamed of my government” a LOT recently — a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with — and “Miracle” reminded me of a time when I was younger, far more innocent (I was 8, after all) and those guys really were heroes to a generation. We could really use some more heroes right now, couldn’t we?
Yesterday, I did a virtual book signing in the afternoon (something so cool, it will have its own post later this week), then took the kids over to my brother-in-law’s so he could help Ryan with a geometry project. Ryan’s uncle is a brilliant architect, and a talented craftsman, and he helped Ryan build this art deco lamp out of several geometric shapes and solids. It’s awesome!
Nolan and I got to hang out with my niece and nephew while Ryan and his uncle worked, which was great. I hardly ever get to see my niece and nephew, and it was awesome to see how much they’ve both grown (in size and in emotional development) since the last time I saw them.
When we were done there, it was almost 8, and too late to cook, so the three of us went out to dinner at Chevy’s in Glendale. We were seated in the last booth on a wall of booths, behind a table of five teenage girls. Nolan was oblivious, but Ryan sat on the side facing them so he could “appreciate the view.”
The funniest moment of the meal was when one of them recognized me as That Guy From That Movie, — which is really weird because they probably weren’t even born when it came out — and all of them began signing “Stand By Me.”
Okay, look — I hate that. When I was a teenager, girls would see me and start singing that all the time, and it always made me feel like a sideshow freak. I used to like that song, but it follows me everywhere. I swear, 3 out of 5 times when I go shopping, it comes on the muzak. It’s on the oldies station on the radio all the time, and the Pennywise version was even on Fungus (XM 53) recently.
“Man, that follows you everywhere,” Ryan said.
“Yes, it’s haunting me,” I said.
“What following you?” Nolan asked, “The Stench?”
I have no idea where he got “The Stench”, or why he said it with capital letters, so I shook my fist at him and laughed.
“I’ll Stench you, mister.” I said.
Both of them looked at me.
“Yeah, I don’t know what it means, either. How about if I just embarrass you both in front of The Table of Hotties?” I took a deep breath, and struck a dramatic pose.
Ryan jumped like he’d been shocked with a cattle prod.
“No! It’s cool!” He looked across the table. “Nolan, Ixnay on the Enchstay!”
There was some serious giggling from us after that, enough to compete with a table filled with teenage girls . . . maybe I shouldn’t be proud of that after all. Heh.
We finished dinner (the spicy steak taco is where it’s at, yo) and made it home just after 10. Nolan was asleep as we pulled into the driveway, but insisted that he wasn’t tired, so he wrapped himself up in my geek blanket and sat on the floor while we watched Ghostbusters on TNT.
He was asleep before the first commercial, and I was asleep soon after. I woke up drooling on the arm of the couch right around the time dickless shut down the containment grid.
Ryan was still awake, so I let him watch the rest of the movie and went back to my room.
“Remember to turn the TV off,” I told him.
“Can I sleep out here?” He said.
“Yeah, that’s fine. But Riley will probably be licking your face at 7,”
“That’s okay. I love you, Wil.”
“I love you too, Ryan. Sleep well.”
“Remember this,” I thought, as I let my head settle down into my pillow.

It’s been over an hour now since I sat down to write this. The kids are playing catch outside, and Ferris is trying to convince Riley that she’s ready for a nap (Riley isn’t having it. Whenever Ferris lies in her bed, Riley walks in and paws at her face until Ferris either snarls at her, or gives in and comes out to play.) I’ve turned on iTunes, and I’m listening to “Morphic Fields” from the classic ambient record “Earth To Infinity.” My coffee is cooling, and it’s about time I got up, took a shower, and started the yard work I have planned for today.
It’s still a peaceful morning here, though, in my house, and in my soul.
Remember this.

Sorry for the lack of updates this week. Just A Geek is in its final stages, and I’ve been working very closely with O’Reilly to help it across the finish line. It’s a lot more work than I ever thought to get this stuff finished. Each time I think I’m done, I find out there’s something more to do. I like it, though, and I have enjoyed working with O’Reilly to pull this all together.
Just A Geek is so much more than a story to me, as weird as that may seem. It’s a huge part of my heart and soul, and represents two years of very intense work . . . and I’ve been a little concerned that they may not “get” exactly how much it means to me, you know? I’ve been nervous about walking that delicate line between art and commerce.
I am happy to report that this week, I’ve learned that not only do they “get” it . . . they grok it. I also found out that the printing date has been moved up, so the book will be released even sooner than I originally thought. I still don’t know the exact date, but I’ll be sure to announce it here when I do.
One of the cool things we’ve done this week is come up with a tagline for the book. I didn’t want to use one originally, but I guess taglines are a big part of getting undecided readers to pull the book off the shelf and give it consideration, so my editor and marketing manager were cool enough to hold my hand while we worked to come up with . . .

Just A Geek : Unflinchingly honest tales of the search for life, love, and fulfillment beyond the Starship Enterprise

I’ve been having a very hard time describing my story to people in just a few words, but now I can do it. That tagline totally distills the story down to its essence, and I think it’s super-cool.
I was telling Anne a few days ago how I just can’t seem to pull enough creative energy together to write anything cool, because I think it’s piling up behind the Just A Geek logjam. I mentioned that Vegas story a few weeks ago, and it’s been kicking around in the back of my mind . . . I think I have the beginnings of a spine, and that’s nifty. It will be the first work of 100% fiction I’ve done here, and it’s sort of a test for me.
Hey, speaking of Vegas, I will definitely be at the Creation Vegas Convention from July 29 (MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!111one!!) until August 1, and EarnestBorg9 is doing one of our awesome improv shows on Friday, July 30, around 8 at night. I’m also performing from Just A Geek and Dancing Barefoot that day too, so if you want to get the most Wheaton for your buck, Friday the 30th will be the day to come out. If you’re planning on attending, it would be cool to let Creation know that you’re coming out to see me or EB9. For some reason they don’t believe me when I tell them that people want to see us, even when we fill rooms to capacity.
That’s all for today. I have to go back to work. Tune in tomorrow for an exciting announcement.