I spoke with John Moe about my mental illness for his podcast, The Hilarious World of Depression:

Wil Wheaton was a child star in Stand By Me, a regular on Star Trek: The Next Generation as a teenager, and has been trying to figure out his role in show business for a long time since then. He was dealing with the pressures of fame and the fickle tastes of Hollywood, all while dealing with a chemical imbalance in his brain that made him prone to anxiety and depression. Wil’s better now thanks to medication, but despite his long IMDb page and regular work on The Big Bang Theory, his hit YouTube show, and a thriving and varied career, he sees himself primarily as a failed actor.

It’s a good show, as they say. Go give it a listen.

1. I guess I’m on summer vacation. Or maybe it’s a longer break from public life, so I can work on creative things that need my attention. I haven’t been on Twitter much, and when I am, it reminds me why I decided to do other things with my time. I’ve been working on finishing the first draft of this novel I accidentally ended up writing, spending about two full weeks doing very little writing and a lot of stuff that looks like I’m not writing, while I’m figuring out how to get out of the box I inadvertently wrote myself into. I solved the problem with the help of index cards and a cork board, which is a reminder that I should have done cards and a board in the first place. In my lame defense, I never intended for this story to get as long and involved as it has, so … there.
2. One of the things I’ve been doing when it looks like I’m not working is painting Warhammer 40K figures. I read all the advice I got when I posted about finding my way back into the hobby, and ended up buying Dark Imperium. I love the lore in the rulebook, and the models are gorgeous. I am as bad at painting as I ever was, but I’m old enough now to not let it bother me like it once did. Like, my sense of self worth isn’t tied up in how good or bad I am at every single thing I attempt, like it was when I was younger.
3. Friday night, Chris took me to Vegas to see Steve Martin and Martin Short. They were amazing and hilarious, and I highly recommend seeing the show when it comes to a town near you. The band that plays with them, The Steep Canyon Rangers, is so amazing, I think I may actually like bluegrass music.

   After the show, we got to go backstage and meet them, because Chris is a big deal. When Steve Martin shook Chris’ hand, he told Chris, “I am a huge fan of your work. It’s so nice to see you.”

   I felt like I was going to cry. I’m so proud of Chris and everything he has created, and so grateful that he’s been my friend for almost 30 years. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to meet someone who inspired you to do the work you do, someone who played a part in shaping who you became as a human, and finding out that they not only know about your work, they enjoy it and identify as a fan.

   Some really funny things happened when we were there, but I’m putting them into my next live show, so you’ll have to come see me perform if you want to know about them.

4. I also played poker for the first time in years. It was a 1/2 NLHE game, and I played for about four hours. I lost some big pots, I won a bunch of small and medium pots (and one huge pot where I proudly outplayed a guy who I read perfectly) and when I left, I had more than when I sat down. It wasn’t a lot, but it was a lot of fun and a nice way to spend Friday afternoon. I felt good about the way I played, and left feeling like I didn’t totally suck at cards.
5. I’ve talked on RFB about how I want to do a horror movie in the style of the 1970s Grindhouse releases. In the last week or os, I broke a story in my head. I know all the major plot points, and have notes in my book! When I finish the first draft of the novel, I’m going to start doing cards for the movie, and figure out the details, so I can write the screenplay. I have no idea how I’ll get it made, but it’s a thing I’m doing because, like Lin-Manuel Miranda said, “Don’t wait on anyone to make your favorite thing. Make your own favorite thing. Go.”

What do you want me to know?