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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

he has songs of wildebeests and angels

Posted on 6 May, 2004 By Wil

Found on TotalFark: Genuine 80’s air guitar sold for $5.50, plus $10 postage.

YOU ARE BIDDING ON AN ORIGINAL AIR GUITAR FROM THE 80’S. THIS ONE WAS USED ONCE AT A BON JOVI CONCERT IN 89 FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS.I HAVE TAKEN IT OUT A FEW TIMES SINCE. GENERALLY AFTER ABOUT 6 BEERS AND A COUPLE OF FRUITY SHOTS.

he reaches into his bag of tricks

Posted on 5 May, 2004 By Wil

I had a weird night last night. I kept waking up very suddenly, with my brain racing. It was different from the night terrors I used to have when I was younger, but the same “OH MY GOD!” heart-pounding feeling was still there, just absent the white hot blinding fear that the terrors used to bring.
So that’s a long way if saying that I’ve been really tired all day. I think I’m also a little emotionally drained, as well, with the uncertainty about Felix (even though all the signs currently point in a positive direction).
Speaking of Felix . . . I saw him this morning, and the vet, and all the techs at the hospital all told me how talkative he had been, and how eager he was to come home. He continued to “eat like a pig” they said (he ate almost an entire 5.5 ounce can of food this morning) and he was even eating fish, which he’s always hated. There was another cat in the space next to The Bear, and I guess the two of them had been talking to each other since yesterday. I think I may have seen a copy of Escape from AlCATraz — with feline subtitles, of course — behind Felix’s litter box.
The vet told me that it was really clear that our visits were helping him, and she said the he really settled down when we took his little fleece bed there for him to sleep in so he didn’t have to sleep on a towel.
She said that he’s made so much progress with the fluids and medication, that he could come home today!
So at 4:30, I picked him up, and right now he’s laying on the floor behind me, giving himself a bath.
He wants me to tell everyone, “Hi. ThiS iS FELix. My Mom AND Dad ToLD mE HoW MUCh WWDN ReADerS SupPoRteD ThEM whiLe I wAs SiCK, aND i WaNT to sAY ThANK you. ThEy LovE ME A loT AnD I KnOW THIS Was hard FoR thEM.”
I want to say thank you again, too, and so do Anne and the boys.
Felix will get sub-q fluids every day, and we’re also giving him aluminum hydroxide twice a day in his food to help take some stress off his kidneys. I’m doing everything I can to keep him comfy, too, and I ordered him some Kitty Hooch, because he loves it so much.
The next 48 hours are going to be very important. If he doesn’t slip back to pre-hospital condition, we’re going to be okay for a while. If he worsens, we’ll have to give serious consideration to putting him to sleep. We’re clearly not out of the woods, yet, so if you’ve got an extra thought to spare, we’ll take it.
Oh, and to tie up a loose end from yesterday, my audition went really well. I read for three different characters, nailed one of them, blew it on another, and did fairly well with the last one. But I REALLY had fun with the characters, and also recorded an audio blog that made me laugh.
Update: I just got off the phone with our vet. The lab results came back, and they’re not as good as we’d hoped. his levels came down a little bit, but not nearly as much as we were hoping for. She said that she uses the lab results as a guide, and really lets the cat tell us what he needs, but when I asked her if it was positive, negative, or neutral, she didn’t really want to say . . . so I think it may be more negative than we’d like.
He’s going to get re-checked in two weeks, and we’ll have a very clear picture then. I’m trying to remain hopeful, but I also have to prepare myself for the very worst.

the wonderful, wonderful cat.

Posted on 4 May, 2004 By Wil

Anne and I went to visit Felix this morning, and he just looks wonderful! He’s really responding to the medication, and the tech told us that he’s been “eating like a pig” all day! Of course, we don’t know if he’ll continue to improve or take a turn for the worse when we bring him home, but we’re hoping for the best. If nothing else, it was wonderful to see him looking just like his old self today. His eyes were bright, and we couldn’t see his third eyelids at all. I snapped a great photo of him with my cameraphone, and it should be in the moblog right now.
He was so happy to see us both. He purred so loudly I could hear him across the room, and he let us smother him with love and affection. It’s funny . . . he’s a very affectionate cat, but only on his terms. If we love him too much, he’ll chomp right down on our hands, then turn his back to us, and shake his stump (he’s a Japanese Bobtail, so he’s got a little stump where other cats have tails. It’s pretty cool.) Today, though, he couldn’t get enough love from us. We both sat on the floor, and he just walked back and forth between us, rubbing his face against our hands, and really “talking” quite a bit. He was obviously unhappy about the IV in his little paw, but he didn’t complain about it too much.
We also snuck in some of his favorite food, which he sort of liked. He was more interested in the gravy, but I was just happy to see him eating.
They tell us the visits from a cat’s staff (that’s us) can help the cat do better, and it makes me happy to see him, so I’m going to try to see him again this afternoon. I have an audition for a cartoon down in Hollywood, so it’s going to be close, but if the traffic is willing, I should make it.
Anne and I are beyond moved by the caring and support, as well as the kind advice from so many WWdN readers. I’ve heard from many vets, who have given me encouragement as well as suggested some things to talk to our vet about, and I’m very grateful for that.
We took the dogs for a walk up this canyon earlier today, to give them exercise and to give us a change of scenery while we train for the marathon, and I was telling Anne about all the support and caring that WWdN readers have sent our way, and I got to thinking . . . it’s an incredibly positive chunk of energy, isn’t it? I mean, there are so many ways to make the Internet suck, and here we have found a way to make it not suck, here at this website.
I have always thought that the Internet was about communication, and sharing of information . . . but over the last few years, we’ve shared more than just information. We’ve shared kindness, and support, and love, and all sorts of that tree huggin’ hippie crap that I wish there was more of in the world.
I hope that people who read this site can grab a little bit of that, and help spread it around. It’s pretty cool.
Oh, and this other thing that’s really cool: on our hike up the canyon, we walked past a bunch of cabins . . . and one of them was called “Tom Bombadil’s Castle.” It was under a grove of trees, and everything! I looked for hobbits, but they must have been sleeping.
And thank you to everyone who is helping out with the crapflooding problem. The noose is tightening.

Enough.

Posted on 3 May, 2004 By Wil

Okay. I’ve had enough.
I am done dealing with childish attention-whore script kiddie crapflooders.
I’ve never done anything to you subhumans, yet you continue to attack and deface my website.
Today, you crossed the line. I can’t believe that you would think that it’s somehow okay to post kiddie porn in the comments on any website, but I am absolutely stunned that you are so devoid of any basic humanity that you would flood a post about my pet who is dying.
So I’m now officially putting out a bounty on your heads.
I am offering $1000 for information that leads to the arrest and successful prosecution of anyone involved in the crapflooding of this website.
Enough is enough. Stop this right now.

The Bear

Posted on 3 May, 2004 By Wil

. . . and now The Balance to all the good news and joy that I’ve been floating in for the last few months:
My cat, Felix, who showed up in our garage about three years ago and never left, has kidney disease. We discovered it about a year ago, and he was in the very early stages of kidney failure. Our vet told us that it would significantly shorten his life, but if we gave him low-protein food and a subcutaneous IV every other day, we could slow the spread of the disease, and he’d probably be with us for another six years or so.
About a two weeks ago, Felix started acting strangely. He was more lethargic than normal, and he just didn’t want to eat (he hates the low-protein food), so we took him to the vet. She did blood work on him, and the lab said that his kidney failure is advancing much more rapidly than we thought. He could be in as much as 85% failure, and he’s in danger of developing anemia or a whole bunch of other scary diseases.
I took him back this morning, because the vet wants to keep him there with an IV for a few days, to flush out his little body. On Wednesday, we’re going to take him off the IV, and see if it’s flushed his body enough to toughen him up. Felix is a tough little guy, there’s no doubt about that. He’s so tough, we call him The Bear, because he’s feisty and affectionate . . . but if he can give you a chomp at any time, if you piss him off. You know how they say dogs have masters, but cats have staff? We are totally The Bear’s staff. He sticks around because he approves of us . . . and I like to think he loves us as much as we love him.
When I left the vet this morning, I was sobbing so violently, I had to pull over so I wasn’t a danger to myself and other drivers. I love my Felix bear so much, and I don’t want him to die. I’m not going to keep him alive with treatments if he’s suffering, just so I don’t have to say goodbye, but our vet told us that there’s a very good chance that he could bounce back after he gets out of the hospital, so I am doing my very best to focus on the positive chance for improvement, and remain hopeful.
It would mean a lot to me and my family if WWdN readers could spare a few moments and send some healing energy, or prayers, or magic monkey voodoo or whatever to The Bear while he’s trying to get better over the next few days.
Thanks. Hopefully, I’ll get back to normal blogging soon.
UPDATE: I just got back from the vet’s, where I was able to visit with The Bear for a few minutes.
He’s doing so much better, it’s a miracle. His eyes are bright, he purred like a Harley Davidson, and he had many things to say. most of them, I think, had to do with how much he doesn’t like the IV in his little paw.
I took his little fleece bed over to the vet, and she said that he can sleep in it, which is cool, because when he saw it, he jumped out of the tech’s arms and right into it. I could tell that he was happy to have something that smells like home, and his mom and dad.
Thank you, so much, to everyone who is keeping Felix in your thoughts and hearts. I know that the miracles of modern medicine have a lot to do with the improvement in his condition . . . but I also know that your thoughts are bending the space/time continuum to give him as good a chance as possible.

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