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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Kiteless

Posted on 7 May, 2003 By Wil

I just walked in from a ping-pong match with Ryan, where he kicked my ass. If we were in prison together, he could have traded me for smokes. We play best of three, and he took the first game 21-8 and the second game 21-3. Ouch. Kid can take advantage of my really lousy backhand, I tell ya what.
Dancing Barefoot should be shipping in about two weeks.
Holy shit, man. Two weeks.
I’ve been going back and forth between very excited and absolutely terrified. I’ve discovered this interesting thing: when I work as an actor — well, worked, I guess — there is always a point where I just have to let the performance go, and move on. Once it’s been printed, and we’ve moved on to a new scene, it’s totally out of my hands.
It’s very different as a writer. Because I can rewrite things all the time, and because I’m such a perfectionist about everything, it’s very hard for me to look at something I’ve written, especially one of my books, and just walk away from it. I wonder if, in time, I’ll develop the same detachment from my written creations as I have from my dramatic ones?
I made an e-mail announcement list for Monolith Press, so I can let readers know exactly when Dancing Barefoot is ready, what the progress of Just A Geek is, and stuff like that. If you’d like to join, go here. (Topica will try to get you to opt-in for a bunch of spam. You don’t have to do that in order to get my newsletter.)
In other news, there’s a Story about me and G4 in Salon today.
I’m going to plug Salon for a second:
Salon is a great online magazine, and I’ve been a subscriber for over a year (got 6 months of Mother Jones as part of my subscription, too!) and it’s totally worth it.
If you go to read that article, you can hook up a free day pass, to check out the site, or you can subscribe.
End of plug. /mastercontrolprogram
So.
I bet there will be lots of new readers coming to the site today, because of Salon, and I thought it’d be cool to point you at some stuff I’ve written that I’m pretty proud of. Not that it matters, but they’re all true:

  • The Trade – I traded my cool Death Star for a lousy Landspeeder.
  • Fireworks – I almost set my great great great great aunt on fire one 4th of July.
  • We Close Our Eyes – I have the best wife, ever. And she is teh h0t.
  • Woah. Three pages of stuff I really like starts here.
  • Sax0phone and Chalk Piano – My stepson makes me feel like I’m not totally uncool.

And finally, a Thought For Today:

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
-Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

EhSteve!

Posted on 7 May, 2003 By Wil

I just found out that I’ll be on ABC tomorrow night!
They interviewed me for a program called “Our Favorite Stars, Then and Now.” I guess they are doing a bit on Stand By Me, and they picked me as the guy they’d interview. We did the interview at the ACME a few weeks ago, and I talked about how none of us expected Stand By Me to be so popular, though I always felt like we were working on something special. I also talked about what it’s like to be famous for previously being famous, and why I’m writing now. I think I mentioned the WWdN in there, too.
It should be interesting . . . it seems like just about every mainstream media interview I do gets edited or spun into “Wil Wheaton is a has-been,” so we’ll see what happens with this one. Seems like I get burned more often than not.
Speaking of getting burned, I read a wire story (warning: pop-up and cookie hell) that talked about the explosion of “celebrity weblogs.” In it, he mentioned me, failed to mention that I was doing this LONG before it became a marketing tool for Big Celebrities, and portrayed me in what I think itsn’t a very positve light.
Take a look:

Most celebrities combine the writing and promotional element. For example, while Star Trek: The Next Generation alum Wil Wheaton uses his blog to discuss his life and air his opinions, he also urges fans to write Star Trek convention organizers “a brief, polite, friendly letter, to tell them that you’d be willing to fork over 5 bucks to meet your old pal, TV’s Wil Wheaton.”

That quote, of course, is taken out of context from the Convention page.
Here’s the entire quote from that page:

“Many of the convention promoters won’t book a guest unless they feel that the guest will bring people into the show. It’s simple economics, really. I mean, why bring out The Guy Who Was The Red Shirt in Episode 22 when the people really want to see The Guy Who Was The Red Shirt in Episode 61?
If you’d like to see me at a con, you should let the promoters know, by writing a brief, polite, friendly letter, to tell them that you’d be willing to fork over 5 bucks to meet your old pal, TVs Wil Wheaton.

It’s hardly “urging,” you jackass.
I wonder if this “journalist” even bothered to read this site? I wonder if he took the time to find out about my focus here: my real life, my struggles as an actor and hopes as a writer? I think it’s far more likely that this person came here with an agenda, just like the idiot who slammed WWDN in Entertainment Weekly, and looked for a quote to support his pre-determined conclusion.
Of all the “celebrity” weblogs out there, I’ve been told that I’m the most accessible. How hard would it have been to e-mail me a question or two about this site? Would it have added to this guy’s story if he’d taken fifteen minutes and asked me why I do this?
I shouldn’t care, but I do. Maybe I’m over reacting.
Maybe I need to walk away from the computer for ten minutes.
Maybe I should switch to decaf.

It’s just a jump to the left . . .

Posted on 6 May, 2003 By Wil

I was reading through some archives last night, and I came across a link to Where’s My Burrito? [Mirror here](thanks Neph!)which was the very first effort I ever made at having a website.
Oh, it’s horrible, in that great “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” way, and I thought I’d share it with any readers who haven’t seen it before.
It’s at Geoshitties, so watch for popups.
When I looked through it last night, I had this warm feeling of nostalgia. It was fun building it, and even though it’s just awful, I’m still proud of my efforts. I can see glimmers of what would become WWDN (and then WWdN) sitting in there. Funtimes. Funtimes.

Jane White is On DVD!

Posted on 5 May, 2003 By Wil

Jane White is Sick and Twisted, a film that I am insanely proud of, is FINALLY coming out on DVD!!! It’s going to be available tomorrow.
Jane White is the best thing I’ve done since “The Good Things,” which was the only good thing (heh) I’d done in years . . . maybe decades. I’m not sure about the math, because math is hard.
And Tragic.
Oh, the tragedy of math gone wrong. I can’t even talk about it.
Check out this review, to fill up the awkward silence:

Jane White is Sick & Twisted is a treat to anyone who considers themselves a “real” film buff (ie, probably NOT for everyone)! It’s the kind of comedy that lets you in on the joke and winks at you from time to time. Wil Wheaton (Stand By Me) is funnier here than Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler’s last few performances put together! It’s great fun to spot ALL the cameos : Squiggy, Screech, Marsha Brady, the chicks from The Wonder Years, etc. Get twisted and see this movie!

Alllllll-righty then!!

Sax0phone and Chalk Piano

Posted on 3 May, 2003 By Wil

The tea kettle’s whistle pierced the air. The dogs, who were slumbering beneath my feet, jumped up to seek the source of the sharp, shrill sound.
I pushed my chair back, and walked out of my office into my kitchen. A tiny house finch, who is building a nest in our breezeway, warbled at me through the open window.
Ryan was standing at the refrigerator, wearing his WWdN T-shirt. I love it when he wears that shirt, because he asked for it himself a couple of weeks ago.
“Wil, do you have any extra shirts?” he asked when I brought them home from todiefor.
“No, I don’t,” I told him, “I’m selling them as fast as I can print invoices.”
“Oh,” he said, and looked away. “That sucks.”
He started out of the room, and stopped when he reached the doorway.
“When you get some more, can I have one?”
“You want one for yourself?” I said. Though my heart swelled, I kept my best poker face — the one I wear when I look at pocket rockets on the button.
“Yeah. I think they’re really cool. I want to wear it to school.”
My 13 year-old step son, who has struggled through father-inspired loyalty conflicts as long as I’ve known him, wanted to wear one of my shirts. A shirt with my face on it.
“I had no idea you wanted one for yourself.” I walked to the box of shirts, and pulled out a small. “Here, I’d love for you to have it.”
“Really?!” His face lit up.
“Yeah. Take it.” I tossed it to him.
“Thanks, Wil!”
This memory flashed through my mind, and I felt the same surge of pride and joy that I felt when he first asked; the same happiness I felt when I walked out to the breakfast table to take him to school two weeks ago and saw him wearing it.
“Can I have a cup of tea with you?” he said.
“You bet! I’d like that.” I said. I turned the fire down, and went to the pantry for a tea bag.
“Cool! What are you having?”
“Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.” I said, and put a tea bag into my Tux mug from thinkgeek.
I am such a nerd.
“I’ll have the same,” he said, wonderfully oblivious to the reference.
We sat at the table, sipped tea, and talked about girls, school, and poker.

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