It’s Friday, I’m in Love

Remember when we were younger, and we’d start planning our Friday nights on Tuesday?
Remember those big plans, to go out to a club, or a concert, or a show, and find some hot member of the opposite sex, and take them home?
Yeah, me neither.
But now that we’re older, our Friday night plans usually go something like this:

  • heat up leftovers
  • start laundry
  • clean up kitchen
  • move laundry from washer to dryer
  • clean up living room
  • take burned dinner out of oven
  • curse at oven
  • order dinner
  • open bottle of wine, so it can “breathe” before dinner gets here
  • vaccuum family room
  • pour glass of wine while waiting
  • clean bathroom
  • pour second glass of wine
  • call boss, give him a piece of my mind
  • get into argument on internet
  • yell at delivery guy for taking two $#!ing hours to deliver my lasagna, which is now cold
  • pour third glass of wine
  • pour fourth glass of wine
  • fall into sad, nostalgic stupor watching Wacky Races on Boomerang
  • pass out ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H go to sleep

Sound familiar? Want to return to the days when we were crazy and free? The days when we’d actually go out on a Friday night, because, goddammit, we were young and free?
Hell yeah!!
Well, I’ve got something for you, chucky: If you live in or near Los Angeles, and you don’t know what to do for your Friday night, you can come and see me, Wil Wheaton, live and in person, on the J. Keith vanStraaten show!!
Tonight’s guests include Bruno Kirby, comedian John O’Donnell, and kickass band Blockage.
The show is always insanely fun, and I’d love to meet any WWDN readers who come over to see us.
We are at the ACME Comedy Theatre, and the show starts at 10 PM. There are only 6 shows this season, so time is already running out. You can get information on reservations and ticket prices from Keith’s website.
Now, if you’re not in or near Los Angeles, of you’re just afraid to leave the house without your Tinfoil Hat, I have another thing that you can do tonight: you can stay home, safe and secure, and watch my sister, Amy, on First Monday, tonight at 9PM on CBS.
Now how about that? Who else on the internet helps plan out your Friday night Social Calendar?
Nobody, that’s who.
Except for your old pal Uncle Willie, because he cares.

Just talk about the weather

I really love the weather today.
That’s right. I’m talking about the weather. Nice, banal, weather conversation. Guaranteed not to stir up any controversy, or incite any riots.
Seriously, though. I had to be at work at 8 this morning, and, thanks to the wonderful Los Angeles freeway system, I had to leave my house at 6:30. This meant that I got up with the Sun, which is never a bad thing.
My neighborhood is just filled with all kinds of wildlife: Peacocks, wild parrots, Canadian geese, and the usual finches and sparrows that pretty common in Southern California. When I get up really early in the morning, I always walk out onto my patio, and just listen to them for a second. It’s a really nice way to start the day, I think. On a misty morning like today, Ferris runs through the backyard, leaving little Ferris-prints in the wet grass, before she hurries to the back door, asking to be let in for breakfast.
When I left my house, I drove through this canyon nearby, and the tops of the hills were completely obscured by low-hanging fog and mist, which made LA look really pretty. Believe me, it’s not easy to make LA look pretty.
By the time I got to work in West Los Angeles, the clouds and fog had lifted, and there was nothing but clear blue sky, and a really stiff breeze.
At lunch, I walked down the street to eat, and some of those little puffy clouds had shown up, and the wind was really making them truck across the sky, which was super cool to watch.
If you live in Northern California, you should totally know what type of day I’m talking about. We don’t get these days often in SoCal, so I really appreciate them when we do.
Speaking of weather, I wrote another silly satire piecefor BBSpot. I went for a “man on the street” style of writing. It was fun.
That’s all I’ve got for today, folks. I’m off to this charming market, where I can enjoy a wonderfully delicious halibut sandwich.

Natural Mystic

Yesterday, I finally got some new headshots done. They should be back from the lab next week.
I’ve been using the same headshot for years, and it’s really been time for a new one for quite awhile…but the thing is, I absolutely hate having my picture taken.
I bet that seems weird, what with me being an actor, and all, but it’s true. I’d much rather be holding the camera than posing for it. Unless I’m posing for some midget porn, so I can get on the Kevin and Bean Show.
But yesterday was different. The photographer was really awesome, and we approached it from a more creative place, and it was more like working on a short film. I’m very excited to see the results next week.
Guess what I got in the mail? A whole buncha CDs! Some old blues records, and some amazing Bob Marley records. If you listen to reggae, you owe it to yourself to pick up the deluxe edition of Exodus! A big thank you to the cool guys who sent me awesome music.
Speaking of awesome music, I have gotten tons of emails today about WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER’S Blog. The general tone of the emails is that he’s ripping me off…but I don’t think that’s the case, at all. I mean, I wasn’t the first person to write a weblog, and I’m certainly not the best.
If he really wrote it, I think it would be really cool…but I doubt that it’s really him. If it is, I suspect that it’s heavily edited. Tsumo at metafilter said, I really can’t imagine Shatner overtaking Wil in popularity any time soon. There’s just a completely different… feel… to Shatner’s site. ‘Overproduced’ would the be word that comes to mind. Wheaton’s is just down-home fanboyish and a lot more fun to read. Shatner’s entry felt so polished and professional that I can’t help it was passed by half a dozen copy editors on its way to the website.”

On the other hand, Michael Moore (who is going to be in Los Angeles from today until Friday! I get to see him on Friday! Weeeeee!) is keeping a weblog, and he really does write it, and I think it’s awesome.
One final thing, before I head off to work: A friend of ours, Amanda, occasionally babysits for Ryan and Nolan. Amanda is incredibly smart, very driven, honest, caring, and just an all-around good person, who really deserves all the good things in life. Well, I heard last night that she got accepted into USC, and maybe even into Occidental, too. Congratulations, Amanda! You deserve it!
Oh! I taught Ryan how to juggle last night, because they’re doing a medieval day at his school, and he’s dressing up as a court jester. It was really awesome. My relationship with Ryan has always been at arm’s length, because I haven’t ever wanted to force myself into his life…but in the last 2 months or so he’s really made major efforts to come to me, and close that gap. It’s wonderful.
Thought for today:

“If we wish to secure peace for ourselves, we must start by championing it for others.”

Top Ten

With gratitude to jbay:

Gary Condit’s Top Ten Campaign Slogans
10. Remember me? Not too much I hope. Just enough to vote for me.
9. Let’s Put The “Adult” Back In “Adultery”
8. Vote for me … I’ve done nothing. I’m not even a suspect.
7. I have no skeletons in my closet…but you will need a warrant to look.
6. I Condid It
5. Make America’s problems disappear. Vote Condit.
4. Vote for me and see what else I can get away with.
3. We’re at war — this is no time for bickering and arguing over who killed who …
2. Do something for Gary, and he intern…er…in turn will do something for you…
1. Protect California Women — Send Gary Back to Washington!