Last year, I went to the Stone Brewing World Bistro and Gardens for an event they call Book and a Beer. It's pretty much what it sounds like: I read from my book while people drank beer. Then I signed my books while I drank beer. Then I ate dinner and had some more beer. Then we drove around looking for another seafood restaurant. Then we went fishing.

I had a lot of fun, filled a lot of growlers with Arrogant Bastard, Double dry-hopped IPA, Barleywine, and some other stuff I'm told I really enjoyed not sharing with the rest of the class a few days later. In fact, I had so much fun, I'm going back next week to do it all again … only this time, IT'S PERSONAL!

Wait. That's not what I was going to say. I mean, yes, it's personal, but that's not what's awesome about this time. What's awesome about this time is that I'm just the opening act for Rifftrax! They're doing The Matrix: The One That Really Sucks Out Loud And Makes You Want To Punch Babies. (No, not that one, the other one.) For the six of you who don't know: Rifftrax is a few of the guys from MST3K doing that thing they do so well, only this time they're doing it LIVE. I think it's safe to say that it'll be awesome.

I start at 6pm. I plan to read for either 20 or 40 minutes, depending on how many people show up, and what they're in the mood to hear me read. I'll be prepared with stuff from Happiest Days of Our Lives, and stuff from Memories of the Future. I'll also be prepared to stare into an empty space, wipe a single tear from my eye, and go drown my sorrows in beer. (That, by the way, is one of my default settings and is not specific to this event. It is a class feature, if you will.)

I plan to bring a few copies of some of my books with me, but due to bad planning, I'm very low on stock at the moment, and the string is all in three-inch lengths. However, if you come to the Bistro with your own copies of my books, I'll be happy to sign them for you. I will also sign …other things… within reason.

MY DETAILS! LET ME SHOW YOU THEM:

Pleasepleasepleaseplease come and hang out. It'll be a lot of fun, I promise. If you are coming, would you sort of RSVP in the comments?