The Kings and Stars played a game tonight that could best be described thusly:

INT. Hockey Arena.

TURCO

No goals for you! You come back, ONE YEAR!

QUICK

NO YOU CAN NOT HAZ GOALZ. NOT YOURS!

Seriously, the goalies were insane. So the game goes to overtime in a scoreless tie (which delights my inner goalkeeper) and ends up in a shootout.

The Kings’ leading scorer, Anze Kopitar scores a sick, sick, sick goal on Marty Turco, but Jack Johnson can’t seal the deal, and Dallas ties it. Here comes Justin Williams for the Kings, who is 0 for 7 in his career in shootouts.

I prepare myself for yet another Kings loss.

Williams takes a weak shot, but somehow Turco (who has been damn flawless and just a MONSTER the whole game) ends up sliding into his own net, taking the puck with him.

There’s a review, and the Kings win. Quick gets the shutout he deserves, and I swear to baby Jesus, the whole team better buy him all the beers he can drink after the game, because he’s the only reason they ever had a chance in this one and we all know it.

Here, now, is the whole point of this stupid post:

My friend Stephen is a Stars fan, which makes watching Kings v. Stars games infinitely more fun than they ever were before, especially since we have Twitter to do things like this, and like this: