the one about that time i worked in a movie with ron jeremy. yes, that ron jeremy.

I can't recall exactly how it came up, but I recently mentioned that I'd once worked in a movie with Ron Jeremy. This revelation was met with some interest and a look that sort of goes like this: O_o so I thought it would make an entertaining (to me, at least) post.

The movie was called Mr. Stitch. It was a weird science fiction retelling of the Prometheus myth. I play the title character, a creature who was sewn together from the parts of 44 men and 44 women. It was written and directed by Roger Avary.

Roger did Mr. Stitch right after the massive success of his film Killing Zoe, and on the heels of his Academy Award for Pulp Fiction. Everyone in the world wanted to work with him then, and he assembled a mostly incredible cast[1]. He got Ron Perlman and Nia Peeples for major roles, Taylor Negron for a small but important role, and a guy you may have heard of called Ron Jeremy for a cameo.

While Ron is very well known for his … other work … he had also worked on a few indie movies at the time, including Killing Zoe, where he played the bank manager, who was shot in the face before he could deliver a single line. Roger liked him, so he hired Ron for a scene in Mr. Stitch that I don't think made the final cut, as a military medic in a flashback.

Ron came— you know, I'm going to go ahead and rephrase that. Ron arrived in Nice about a week before his scenes were to be shot, and he hung around on the set the whole time. He was incredibly funny, very friendly, constantly falling asleep, and when asked about pretty much any porn starlet from the time would reply, "Oh yes, I've had sex with her many times." I don't know if that was actually true or not, but it always made me laugh when he said it.

Ron told me that I could visit the set of one of his … other films … when we got back to Los Angeles, and though a certain part of me thought that would be hurr hurr hurr awesome, a more rational part of me thought it would just be weird and uncomfortable, so I never availed myself of the opportunity.

I grew so much as an artist and person during the end of 1994 when I lived in Nice and worked on that film, even though many aspects of the production were miserable, it remains one of the most fondly-remembered times in my life.

[1] I say "mostly" because the other lead actor, Rutger Hauer, was an absolute nightmare to work with and almost single-handedly ruined the film.

35 thoughts on “the one about that time i worked in a movie with ron jeremy. yes, that ron jeremy.”

  1. Hi Wil,
    How can you have a footnote like, “[1] I say “mostly” because the other lead actor, Rutger Hauer, was an absolute nightmare to work with and almost single-handedly ruined the film.” and not elaborate? How, I ask you, how?

  2. Hello, Watertiger. Wil doesn’t talk much about the Rutger-Wreck of Mr. Stitch very much. I was impressed when he wrote this post and even included the footnote that alluded to the Hauer-Hell in Nice.

  3. I just came over to say that you are amazing. And I love reading your work…especially “The happiest days of our lives”. I’m so glad that you keep posting here and that you are so real about your experiences. They always make me laugh and i leave with something. Thank you. *end fan girl post now*

  4. That is cray-zee. I remember watching Mr. Stitch when I was a wee lass … I actually really enjoyed it, for what it’s worth. I thought the character was very sad … and boo on Rutger Hauer for angering the Wheaton.

  5. Hmm, I have long followed you’re blog, and have often wondered when and how to write to you. Not particularly a Star Trek fan by any means. How ever I do own several obscure movies with whom my favorite actor is in. OH who is that you might as.. Uhm.. *Blinks* If you Mr. Wheaton is reading this then you know. haha
    With that being stated. I am not an obsessive fan.. and believe you need your privacy. So yea. I’ve met Ron Jeremy my self he’s a pretty nice guy. He does sleep a lot. So this was an endearing post. It really made me laugh I year to become a writer. But alas I do not think it shall happen. I get lost and need a writing partner to keep me on track. I need a good editor.. and being a single mother and utterly broke and unsure of how to even buy food for my family at times. I am unsure on how to do what I would like in life. Besides I think it’s ever so much more important to be a mom… than write right now. Unlike you I do not drink much beer, how ever.. I do love my cake. I bake fantastically! Being a single mother taught me how to cook half way decently.
    Please just be you.. and ignore people who don’t get you. Not that I am implying people don’t understand you. Eh.. Foot in mouth. I Shall shut up… All my respect Alfy

  6. Wil, next time you see Ron, tell him Alexia O’Neil says he’s a bitch. He should get the drift. I’m probably one of the few people who actually READ his damned biography and he skipped out on an interview…But I DO know how he got the name “The Hedgehog” and it isn’t flattering.
    He’s actually a nice guy, but he’s always trying to hit on you if you’re a girl and not taking you seriously, hence, the me starting to say very loudly when ever we’d meet in whatever company we were in, camera’s rolling or not, “Ron Jeremy, you’re a bitch!”
    Don’t know if it even makes a dent in his ego, it’s that ginormous, but it makes me feel better.
    Anyway, liked your entry.
    Raven

  7. I haven’t seen Mr. Stitch since SciFi first aired it. It didn’t seem that long ago, until you pointed out that it was ’94…FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! Geez… was it really that long ago?
    *checks Wayback Machine*
    You know, that’s only slightly more shocking than seeing you on the Lifetime Movie Network with a Southern accent and getting hit on by Soleil Moon Frye.
    ;^D

  8. I watched Mr. Stitch several years ago on Sci-Fi and I thought it was an interesting re-envisioning of a Frankenstein’s Monster tale. I thought you did a good job (it was only the third thing I had ever watched with you in it).

  9. Haven’t seen Mr. Stitch, but you’ve piqued my interest. I’ll have to see if I can Netflix it. :) As for Ron Jeremy, I haven’t seen his … other films… but I have seen him on you know, that ‘reality’ show and I’ve also seen him in a few interviews, one in which he is airing his views about his … other films. Definitely an interesting guy for sure but then, so are you. :)

  10. See Wil? You’re interesting too and you didn’t have to sleep with hundreds of women to get the title. Aren’t you glad you dodged that bullet? ;)
    Anyway, that cheesey gag was finally enough to make me stop lurking. Love the blog, keep on posting.

  11. Ron Jeremy was in Mr Stitch??? Who did he play? Yeah, I too was wondering why you never mention Mr Stitch, even though that’s one of the best films you’ve done! You lived in Nice, so that must be worth a few stories?
    Haha, Ron Jeremy… we have this weird book called Porn Star Portraits in our shop, and we use the full frontal of Ron Jeremy to freak each other out.
    And Rutger Hauer? Well, he can’t really afford to be a twat, because he is not that great an actor. Whenever his name is mentioned, I have to giggle, because it reminds me of Otto and Gretchen in Malcolm in the Middle and their being big Hauer fans. Worth watching!

  12. Ron Jeremy grew up in the same neighborhood as my father and sometimes posts on the local message boards. Well, used to. It’s been a while since I looked. At any rate, he seemed like a nice guy, so it’s good to see that confirmed.

  13. I don’t think you missed anything by not going to the porn set. The whole process is not sexy… from what I’ve heard. And if there was one guy I wouldn’t want to see naked it would be Ron Jeremy.
    No one will blame you if you give us the story on Rutger Hauer after 14 years. Dials TMZ…

  14. I read Stitch in Time, and all I can hear is Bugs Bunny singing “Stitch in Time, will save nine, especially with the needle fine…” in “Bunny Hugged” (the Bugs/Pro Wrestler short)

  15. Aw, it’s really too bad to hear that Rutger Hauer is not only a jerk, but the kind of major jerk who ruins films and the experience of making films. I’ve always had a fondness for him because of the unarguably iconic 80′s flicks I first saw him in (Blade Runner and Ladyhawke), so poo to him for not being cool.
    Oh well, just goes to show that just because your film character is cool doesn’t mean anything in the least about you as an actor and person (and obviously vice versa, hee hee. Hee. Hee … u c wut i did thair)

  16. I cut this from the post, but because it’s become a FAQ in <24 hours:
    This has been well-documented elsewhere, and I don’t mean to be gossipy, but whenever I read a comment from someone who thinks the movie is horrible and we who made it should all be chased by dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you, I want them to understand why: Rutger didn’t want to learn his lines, he was constantly changing the fundamental meaning of scenes without regard to the writer, director, or other actors, and at one point told me, “I don’t give a shit what you think” when I said, “I think this scene is really important, and—” I don’t know what movie he thought he was making, but it wasn’t the movie I signed up for, which had brilliant dialog and wonderfully complex characters. I often wondered if he just wasn’t smart enough to understand it, and was trying to transform Roger’s Pulp Fiction-quality script into The Return of The Hitcher.
    Roger was forced to fire Rutger and rewrite the last two reels of the movie. Mr. Stitch had tremendous potential, and the original script was sensational, and knowing what I know about the compromises and sacrifices made to satisfy Rutger’s unprofessionalism, I will always watch it with a certain sadness, even though living in Nice in 1995 remains one of the highlights of my entire life.

  17. Heck with it. There is a statute of limitations on what can be classified as gossipy I say. I doubt after 14 years people are going to be surprised that Rutger is an ass.

  18. Thanks Wil! And you’re right, looking back to that time in your life you should remember the good things. Like living in an amazing place like Nice, somthing that most people can only dream about doing!
    And to Harv~ Touche! After 14 years most people don’t know or remember Rutger.

  19. I always wonder at what exact moment in time Jeremy decided, “Ya know, porn’s good.” Not that it’s been a bad industry to him, but he’s a child development expert with a Master’s degree in education. I’ve heard him talk about developmental disorders on the radio before. He was reciting information like he’d just lifted it from the page two minutes ago, so it’s clearly a topic that still interests him. He indicated that working with children didn’t bother him, but working in the public school system did. The thing is, he chose a job that keeps him far away from both. There’s something about being so frustrated with the public school system that you’d rather film your tackle for the masses. When the papers ask, “Why are we losing our teachers?” I think he’ll have some answers. Anyway, he’s clearly whip smart and a hilarious and interesting guy to hear.

  20. Wil,
    Do you know if there’s any chance of Mr. Stitch ever having a region 1 dvd release? I’ve had to resort to alternative methods of content delivery to add it to my library, and would greatly welcome a chance to own a legitimate, viewable-in-north-america DVD of it.

  21. A friend once showed me a photo of himself, with his arm around this older, unkempt, overweight guy who looked like some flavor of programmer. In the shot, my friend was beaming.
    “Guess who I’m standing next to!” he said brightly.
    I thought hard. Given that my friend’s a network engineer, I figured it must be some networking god.
    “No, it’s the Hedgehog!”
    “So you’re standing with your arm around Ron Jeremy. What, you thought it’d rub off on you?”
    “How did you not recognize Ron Jeremy?!”
    “Like I’d recognize his FACE?” ;)

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