on a long run, on a long run

I went to my doctor yesterday, and told him how crummy I’ve been feeling. We talked about a lot of different things, and ultimately decided that it was probably a good idea to change up my brain pills. This morning, I started something new, and I really feel a lot better. I honestly don’t care if it’s a placebo effect at this point, but the end result is the same: I don’t feel despondent, depressed, and shitty about myself.

“You are very hard on yourself,” he told me yesterday.

“I know,” I said, “I just have really high expectations that I want to meet, and with all these incredibly successful friends …” I trailed off because I felt like I was starting to feel sorry for myself.

“Being judgmental about what you make or don’t make doesn’t help you at all,” he said, “you have to do your best every day, even if your best isn’t what you want it to be.”

I knew he was right, and I knew that it was my depression getting in between me knowing that was right, and accepting that it was right. That’s one of the incredibly frustrating things about depression: I can know that the way I feel is just my brain chemicals being messed up, but whether I accept it or not, the end result is the same: I feel awful. It’s a little unfair that it doesn’t work in both directions, but after living with it for my whole life, I can tell you that depression doesn’t care about being fair; it’s really a dick that way.

My doctor said that I was very clear-eyed about my mental illness (psychologists call people like me “the identified patient”), and because I could be rational even when I was feeling irrational, he wanted me to try some cognitive therapy. “When you feel bad, when you are thinking and feeling that you’re worthless or anything like that, I want you to recognize it, and then make an effort to replace those bad feelings with good ones.

“When you are feeling bad about a job you didn’t get, think about a job that you did get, that you feel good about. When you feel bad about not finishing a story, recognize that feeling, and remember how you felt when you published something you’re proud of.”

“That sounds like something I can do,” I said, “and it sounds like it may help me break out of the cycle of depression telling me a suck, then making me feel terrible because I believe that I suck, which makes me depressed, which lets depression tell me that I suck.” I imagined a particularly ugly ouroboros wrapping itself around me.

I don’t think this means that I don’t allow myself to feel disappointment, or frustration, or any of the other emotions that I think we all need to feel to be a fully-functional human. I think this means that I don’t let my mental illness take something like feeling unsure about where a story goes next and turning it into the Very Certain And Unshakable Belief That I Am A Worthless And Stupid And Idiotic Loser Who Everyone Knows Really Sucks. Not, um, that I’ve felt like that a whole lot lately, or anything like that. Um. Right.

So.

Let’s get started, shall we? This weekend, Anne and I went to the mall to pick up some fancy pants I had tailored. While we were there, we noticed that the big old men’s clothing sale was happening, yadda yadda yadda I got three awesome suits for less than the cost of one, if they weren’t on sale.

Guys: it turns out that your beautiful wife telling you, “WOW, you look great in that suit,” is a powerful motivator for buying that suit. And two others. Because reasons.

After we were finished getting them tailored, Anne had to get on the phone to handle a bunch of #VandalEyes business, so I went into the bookstore until she was done. On my way to the Science Fiction section, I stopped to take this picture of their Tabletop game section:

tabletopgames

While I was taking this picture, a young man cautiously approached me. “Mister … Mister Wheaton?” He said.

“That’s me!” I said.

“I love your show Tabletop! You are the reason my friends and I play games, and I’m actually here today to find something for one of them.”

I put my phone into my pocket. “That is really awesome,” I said. “The main reason I make Tabletop is to inspire other people to play games.”

He swallowed, nodded, and said, “um, would you, uh … would you help me pick out a game for my friend?”

My heart grew three sizes. “I would love to do that!”

I asked him a bunch of questions about the games they like to play together, his friend’s level of experience, and how much he wanted to spend. Ultimately, he settled on Ticket To Ride. He shook my hand, thanked me several times, and walked away, happily.

“I’m so sorry to bother you,” a voice said behind me. I turned and saw a young woman with a nametag that indicated she worked in the store.

“Yes?” I said.

“This is my section,” she said, pointing to the games, “and it’s here because of your show, Tabletop.”

My heart grew another three sizes.

“We order all the games you play on your show, and we usually sell out of whatever you’ve just played right away.”

“That’s really cool!” I said.

We talked about the games that she had in the section, and I recommended a few new ones for her, including Hive, Love Letter, and Coup.

“I’ll see if I can convince my manager to let me order those,” she said. “Anyway, I don’t want to take up any more of your time. I just wanted to thank you for your show, and for everything you do.”

“It’s my pleasure,” I said, “and it really means a lot to me that you took the time to tell me that.” I started to walk back to the Sci-Fi Books, and stopped. I turned back. “If your distributor doesn’t know what’s coming up on Tabletop — and they should, but if they don’t — please e-mail me and I’ll give you the release schedule, so you can know what to order.”

“That would be great,” she said.

“Awesome.” We shook hands, and I walked back to the Sci-Fi books. Before I could really figure out if I was going to get anything, my phone chirped in my pocket. It was Anne. She was off the phone, and didn’t want to go on a quest to find me in the store. “I’ll be right out,” I replied.

I walked past that Tabletop game section, which was absolutely huge — even bigger than the entire Sci-Fi and Fantasy book section, combined, and a little voice in my head said, “it’s okay to feel a little proud about this.” I listened to it.

I’m still frustrated and disappointed when I see a character on a TV show or in a film that I clearly could have played, but didn’t even get to audition for (a casting director recently told my agent that they would not even see me for a role, because “Wil Wheaton can’t play someone in his late 30s,” even though I’m 41, with two children in their 20s, and just letting me spend thirty fucking seconds in their goddamn office to see how I look now and how I interpret the role may change their mind). I’m still frustrated and disappointed that I haven’t produced any original work of fiction of any consequence in a year, and that I haven’t finished Memories of the Future Volume 2.

BUT — and it’s a big but* — instead of focusing on those things, and feeling like I’m being crushed into a singularity by a black hole of depression, I can look at the show I created and brought to life with some very talented people, that is having a very real and lasting impact on a lot of people, in a very positive way.

When I look at the writing I haven’t finished, I can look at the calendar and see all the times I was working on a video game or an audiobook or an animated show, and was on the road to promote Tabletop, and honestly accept that there just wasn’t that much time to write the things I wanted to write, because I was busy working on other things.

I can stop being so hard on myself, and I can stop judging myself, and I can stop holding myself up to standards that are so high, even the people I’m comparing myself to every day would have a hard time reaching them.

Or, at least, I can try, and I can do my best, because that’s all I can do.

*hurr hurr hurr

500 thoughts on “on a long run, on a long run”

  1. You probably won’t see this buried in the hundreds of comments, but I just gotta say, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is da bomb, or whatever the kids these days are saying.

    Also, doing a monthly journal entry on things I’m thankful for and things I’m doing to improve my life is really helping me – I’ve noticed I’ve been less depressed and more content since starting it.

  2. Dude, you are super hard on yourself. I used to hate the fact that my Mom was always driving the point that I should not compare myself to other people… and as much as I hated it back when I was a child, I think it has help my sanity now. It is pretty cool that you share all of this with other people because at times we think that those that do shows on TV have a life of dreams when in reality their life can at times be more challenging than those regular people have. I’ve watched you on web series and also loved the character that you probably try to shed, and you are talented. Keep producing content and realize that you do touch a lot of people in a very positive way.

  3. Oh my gosh – I can’t believe people as talented and accomplished as you, with the fan following you have, can have so much self doubt and disappointment! You have come so far, accomplished so much, and have so much to offer – and I am certain you will continue to do so and will continue to have more and more opportunities open to you. You are DEFINITELY being too hard on yourself! High standards are a good thing – beating yourself up for not reaching the top quickly enough is not. As long as you continue to reach and climb, that is what matters. Enjoy your journey to your goals. Don’t wallow in the disappointment of not achieving everything in the time you hope to. Don’t let what you haven’t *yet* accomplished ruin all the great stuff you have accomplished! Realize that few people if any accomplish ALL of the things they set out to do, and even the things they do accomplish may turn out different from their initial hopes and expectations. Disappointment is ok – letting it crush you and drag you into depression is not. And all those successful friends? I seriously doubt they are accomplishing *everything* they want to either. And those are some extremely high standards of comparison. Get what you want out of life and don’t worry about what other people are doing so much. From what we can all see, your life and accomplishments are looking pretty good and rewarding – enjoy them!

  4. Wil,

    I feel your pain when you look around at others you know who have experienced levels of success beyond your own. A friend of mine is quite successful in his field and famous in his community. We get along great and communicate regularly but we run in different social circles. A few years ago I was feeling down about the place I was at in my life. He was completely unaware of my feelings when he sent me a great email on my birthday. Here’s a paraphrased exerpt:

    “As you celebrate your birthday be sure to count your blessings. You have a wife and kids who love you dearly, a great circle of genuine friends, and a heart for helping others. I know a lot of wildly successful, wealthy, and powerful people who would trade places with you in a heartbeat because they do not and will likely never have those experiences.”

    Count your blessings, Wil. There are likely quite a few people higher up the food chain who are secretly envious of you. You may feel like you don’t have a lot, but you have a lot.

  5. You don’t look 41. [In your side photo] Seems like life has been good to you so far. Keep doing what you’re doing and inspiring others. Everything we do matters to someone.

    1. Exactly right. Many of us here can relate to what you have shared. Thanks for honesty and realize that what you have done here, helps many of us through the day.

  6. Thanks Will. Your note above has been so inspirational to myself and the friends I shared it with today. We all have that judgmental asshole in our heads and we try to keep it out of our hearts. Thank you for being so open and honest about where you are at. It makes me feel less alone. And Hive is amazing!

  7. I clicked on this link with your face because, well, when Wil Wheaton talks I will be amused. I didn’t look at the topic but it turns out I have been beating myself up because I haven’t been very focused or as productive since my friend last week. And I’m depressed. So I’m in the vortex of doom and feeling listless and suddenly Wil Wheaton tosses me a float device and says (in my head) I’m with ya.

  8. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy rocks. Also I just played Ticket to Ride for the first time last weekend and while I thoroughly sucked at it (came in dead last 4 times in a row!), I had a great time. :) Keep up the awesome work!

  9. Hey Wil,

    In my family I have/had a number a family members with various degrees of mental illness – some have gotten help, some have not. It’s one of those areas that’s hard to express to others and hard to see go untreated.

    Anyways, just wanted to say your sharing and frankness means a lot to me. So thanks.

    All the best,
    Tim

  10. Thank you so much for sharing this particular “mental road map”. I have lived with dysthymia / low-level depression for most of my life, and every time another person blogs about trying to negotiate the world with a differently-wired brain, I feel a bit less alone.

    Hang in there, and good luck 8)

  11. Will,
    I love your web Shows, I enjoy when I see you on Primetime, but I really enjoy what YOU say, not your characters. The real Will Wheaton is funny as hell and connects with geeks everywhere. oh and table top is my all time favorite web show.. I watch them all and you have contributed to my buying a number of games I never new about. :-) keep kicking butt.

  12. Wil, as someone who battled depression for decades before stabilizing enough to become actually pretty awesome at what I do… I have infinite respect for what you had the courage to write. And the courage. And you, and your work. Remember that, when you’re down. Because you have inspired, you continue to inspire, and you have infinite value to the world. A down day is a down day, but it is just *one* day – just keep swimming.

  13. Hmmm, sounds familiar. I read a book over the summer called “way of the peaceful warrior” by Dan Millman. It talks about how we should focus on the now and not be so obsessed with the future. It made me realize that I was so obsessed with the next step of life that I never appreciated my accomplishment. Some times it’s about stopping and appreciating what you HAVE accomplished and not what you haven’t.

  14. Dude!!! You have made an impression on beaucoup de folks and I am very proud of you. There are so many people who get stuck in a role and don’t take the opportunity to branch out and find other ways to make an impact. You have and what a wonder way to do it – gaming! And that is pretty fu–ing awesome. I know you have no idea of who I am and that is totally ok. Keep on doing what you’re doing.

  15. Everyone seems to be having a tough time this week, myself included. I have been a fan of yours since my early teens and am truly proud of the human being that you have become. You are one of those rare people that are worthy of the admiration that they inspire. While you may not have been writing, you have been CREATING and that is a precious thing.

  16. A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
    Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
    She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
    She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
    Remember to put the glass down. —
    I thought it applied here.

  17. Wil, the things you say at the start, describing your depression, they ring like canon for my life. I’m 36, and have had a handle on my depression for perhaps the last two and a half years. I know the feelings you describe all too well. Depression is an insidious, selfish, hungry thing inside you, and it can devour you if you let it.

    Depression’s greatest trick is lying to you *in your own voice*. It makes your victories feel worthless, your failures seem insurmountable. I say that it is hungry in that it looks to feed itself. Your description of some sad oroborous is apt.

    If I may, I’d like to tell a little of my story with depression. If I may not, well, it’s a little late now, isn’t it?

    There are some really ugly things in my childhood. I won’t go into specific detail, no point in dredging up old ghosts, but I will say this: every bad thing that happened to me, every time I was bullied, beaten, every problem at home I faced, every rejection, every time I was excluded, every grade that wasn’t what it could be (many times because I didn’t try very hard, because the depression had me believing it wouldn’t matter if I did), I internalized them all. I wrote them into the narrative that bad things happened to me because I was a monster, disgusting, pitiful, you name it, I hated myself for it. For years, I’d basically get up in the morning (after whatever damage I’d often visited on myself the night before), blearily make it to the bathroom, open my eyes, look in the mirror, and say, “F***! Not him again!”

    And the depression cost me, even if I didn’t recognize it at the time. Hell, I thought I was supposed to feel that way. I drove away a woman that I loved fiercely, because I couldn’t conceive of the idea that she could love a thing like me. It cost me academically, then occupationally. I got in with the wrong bunch of people, after losing a job, and made some rather permanent mistakes. It was so easy to throw away my future when I thought I didn’t have one. Then, at 21, with a federal felony record, I really got to see what ‘no future’ looked like. The depression helped me to internalize that, and all the hardships that followed from it. And it hurt those around me, friends, family, lovers. People who couldn’t bear to see me tear myself apart at every opportunity. The depression is also protective of itself, it convinced me not to talk to people about what I was going through, for fear of seeming more weak and helpless, and because no-one would care, anyways.

    On a relevant note, and to further make the point about depression, Wil, you know my younger sister. Some years back, you were at a party at her house. Most or all of the other people at the party were affiliated with the PAX Enforcers. I hadn’t been invited because I wasn’t involved with the group. My depression twisted my lack of attendance to mean that my baby sister was ashamed of me. Again, depression is a selfish beastie; it wants everything that happens to you to be about it.

    (Don’t worry, there’s one more very dark part, then things get better, I promise.)

    A couple of things helped me to turn things around. Several years ago, friends within a specific online community held me down and loved me, made me see that I could be loved. (I don’t mean this in any sort of sexual sense, more just that they didn’t let me weasel out of it. Didn’t let me tell myself that I was interpereting it wrong, or that they were just playing a trick. They emotionally slapped some sense in me. Maybe, at the time, it only partially took, but the depression started to have chinks in its armor.)

    Three years ago, I was witness to a terrible fire. A friend and his four sons died, and I was powerless to do anything to save them. This I will definitely avoid going into details on; there is no need to traumatize you or your readers. Because of what I saw, and what i felt, I was unable to sleep for days at a time. Because they don’t give Ambien to people prone to sleepwalking, the doc at the sliding-scale clinic I went to prescribed trazodone, an anti-depressant that, in lower doses, is prescribed as a sleep aid. A funny thing happened. Even as I was battling the psychological fallout of that night (I got to check PTSD off of my bucket list. In other news, I’d like a few words with the bastard writing this list.) I realized something. There were times where I occasionally started to, I believe the technical term is, “not feel like shit.” As an experiment, the doc and I decided to up the dose to the level considered theraputic for depression. I won’t say the pill is a panacea; and like you said, it’s not like I don’t feel disappointment or sadness, or all those things that are part of the human experience; it’s like taking off a pair of sunglasses that tinted the world shitty.

    Since then, I’ve overcome setbacks that, before, would have brought me down for weeks, or months. I’ve been in the most stable, happy relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve started attending the University of Washington, and have a 3.8 GPA on my way to a BA in psychology. If all goes well, within a year or two I will enter a doctoral program. Hopefully I can learn to help others fight these battles. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, per se, so much as to show just how much someone can achieve without depression holding them down.

    In all, Wil, what I’m saying with all this, if you get to read this, is that there are people around who know how it feels. And good on you for using this forum to talk about depression; so many of us hide it, carry it around. I think it’s almost like a defense mechanism for a parasite, the way depression tries to keep you from talking about it. Pay no attention to the monster behind the curtain. Thanks for bearing with me.

  18. the more talented ppl are, the harder they tend to be on themselves. Loved that you share this story and I hope you’ll get the chances you want. But even if not, you have achieved more than a lot of people ever will. Wishing you happiness!

  19. You rock for no other reason than you used ouroboros in a sentence. My spell check doesn’t even recognize it! Inal seriousness, I feel much the same way that you have described, and yes, having people say they appreciate my work helps a LOT. Am glad you got the chance t hear it – and actually let it in- today.

  20. I see so many comments telling you that you are too hard on yourself.. I was of course thinking the same thing but guess what.. That’s Depression in a nutshell for so many of us.. Thank you for writing about this Wil…

  21. Was struggling with some of the same feelings today and had just decided that it was time to go and see the doctor again, A friend shared this on fb and as both depression and Will Wheaton feature in my life to varying degrees I clicked the link read what you’ve written.

    Your line “I can know that the way I feel is just my brain chemicals being messed up, but whether I accept it or not, the end result is the same” – this is a really powerful statement Will, it means we don’t really have control – but also that it’s not my fault!

  22. your show has an impact on people worldwide.. i live in germany, believe me, its helping lot.
    you played brilliant roles, u’ve been on the best star trek enterprise… if a dick doesnt want you for role then he is missing out on a great actor with a huge fanbase.
    dont be dick on yourself. just be yourself, and act :)

  23. I appreciate the honesty of this. I did acting in community theater when I was younger, not now. I played a trombone in my teens, not now. These are stages in life. I work for the government now. I still consider some things that I do as acting jobs. It seems you are greatly appreciated, but not by business associates. I have certain people that force me into childish feelings and behaviors. I have to consciously feed my soul with people and things that make me feel like an adult and appreciated. This was a great read. Thank you.

  24. Great post. This prompted me to go out and buy Settlers of Catan and play it with my wife and two kids, 7 and 9. They all enjoyed it, so thanks for inspiring me to get off my backside do something I’d been meaning to do for some time now.

  25. There you go, Mr. Wheaten, another item for your list of awesome things you’ve done that have had an impact on others. Give yourself a pat on the back and keep this article in mind next time you need a positive thought.

  26. I started a “Positive Every Day” page on my blog. And I always post it in the morning with the thought that I need to start all my days on positives. The days that I put down “hope” or “faith” or “love” are often days that start out rough.

    On the off chance you actually see this comment, I would also recommend reading The Four Agreements. When you’re impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, never make assumptions and always do your best, it makes an amazing difference in the amount of depression encountered (speaking from experience).

    You are an amazing soul, Wil. I pray you’ll read all these wonderful comments when you start to feel low again. Love and light.

  27. This was a lovely post! Thank you for talking candidly about depression. Also, yay for awesome positive experiences!

  28. Don’t forget to be awesome! You are loved and are still doing great things. Take this blog, for instance. :)

  29. Wil, good luck – sometimes the negative thoughts happen so rapidly and automatically you don’t even recognize you’ve had them. By keeping the diary you’re identifying where and when, finding the triggers for them, shining logic on them (i *never* win an audition is not logical but we often think it and then believe it). The last part is then doing what you are doing and replace them with something positive and realistic. *hugs*

  30. Wil, I wanted to let you know that I LOVED your voice work on the audio book for Peter and Max. You should do more of that because you’re a very talented reader.

    Your stand-up is also hilarious.

  31. Will – Thanks for your open and honest blogs about depression. I battled chemical depression, bipolar disorder and agoraphobia for decades. Let me tell you, if you are committed to the process, cognitive therapy works. It is work, real work, constant work, hard work, but the benefits are incredible. I spent 13 years never traveling farther then 3 miles from my house (my work was 2.9 miles from my home. My bipolar cycles were sever and rapid (dozens of full-manic to full-depressed cycles a day). My depression would cause me to miss weeks of work a year. So I found a pair of shrinks – a fantastic psycohpharmocologist and a kick-ass cognitive talk shrink. The meds kept my brain chemistry stable, though not where I wanted it to be. The cog therapy consisted of me writing down things that made me feel good – we called it “the list of things that don’t suck”. Every day, I would read the journal from cover to cover. Each day, I would add at least one entry. Every time I read the journal, I tried to refeel what I was feeling when I wrote the entry. The second part was active thought maintenance – and this was the WORK! When my thoughts would turn negative, I would stop them and focus not on how things are, but how I wanted things to be. Finally, I would start to press the 3 mile limitation. First, 3.1 miles, then 3.2, then 3.5, etc. Each of these combined to slowly change the chemistry in my brain. I noticed that the number of entries in my journal started to grow and that I had to limit what I read each day to the past week — there were just too many entries! The times that I had to catch my depressed thoughts and change them grew less frequent. I became more and more able to travel. The theory behind it is simple and all related to brain chemistry. Negative, depressed or “bad” thoughts occur when a specific mix of neurotransmitters are present in the brain. Positive, happy or “good” thought occur when a different but equally specific mix of neurotransmitters are present. The different between these brain states are minor but totally screw with your mood. Fortunately, if you can control this balance. If you focus on positive thoughts, the brain naturally accommodates and slowly shifts its mix of neurotransmitters. As you start to drift into bad thoughts, or if bad thoughts happen suddenly, you can force your brain into a “happy” state by focusing on positive thoughts. You’ve directly experience this – but on the negative side. You’re having an OK day and something negative happens. “Why does this always happen do me?” You start focusing on the negative, your brain chemistry changes, and you start a spiral deeper and deeper into depression. With this knowledge, and with a lot of hard work, you can reverse these spirals and become happier and happier. It took a long time (3 years for me), but I’m off all of my meds. I completely beat bipolar disorder and agoraphobia – no meds, no symptoms for 7 years. I still struggle with depression, but it is SOOOO much better than it used to be. No more death spirals. You can do this. I isn’t easy – it is work. Sometimes it will feel like more work than it could possibly be worth – don’t believe it. All it takes is the desire to change, the attentiveness to watch for “bad” thoughts and the ability to recognize small achievements and praise yourself for the progress you make. YOU CAN DO IT!!! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!! Email me if you ever need support.

  32. Wil, you are an amazing, talented man and I thank you for writing this. I’ve been severely depressed now for a couple months and I know how difficult it can be. You’ve helped me immensely and I thank you for that. I think by sharing our experiences we can help others going through the same thing. When that negative voice in your head says you suck, just remind yourself that, in reality, you are awesome! =)

  33. Just wanted to tell you that because of your show, I got back into playing tabletop games, introduced my girlfriend to it & now we are very regular gamers! I even have a blog about what we do ;-)
    So, thanks for what you do, this has been really important for me!

  34. To read this coming from someone who’s career I’ve looked up to, it’s bittersweet with mixed emotions:

    - Reassuring, because it helps me realize that just because someone has the kind of success I’ve striven for but never achieved, it doesn’t mean they’re automatically happy. Happiness isn’t really something that’ll come If Only I Achieve Such-and-Such; it’s independent of external circumstances.
    - Envy-provoking, because from my current perspective, if all the sudden I had a “Wil Wheaton” level of success, I’d be thrilled and ecstatic.
    - Wryly amusing, because I know that my brain works the same way, and if I did suddenly have that level of success, after a year or two, the newness would wear off and I’d feel the same level of dissatisfaction.

  35. Seeing this post from such a successful guy like yourself admitting his struggles with depression really made me feel better about facing my own depression. I often feel guilty about being depressed because of the good things I have that should be making me happy. But that’s not depression is about, and your post shows that. I’m glad to see that the cognitive stuff is helping you out, it helped me out a lot too. Thanks for posting this, I’m sure you inspired a lot of people.

  36. Will, you are awesome. My wife and I are into tabletop games now because of your show. My bank account is also quite a bit lighter! We always have great times playing co-operative and competitive games. Also, have you looked at Kickstarter lately?

    Since your show started, Kickstarter has exploded with new Tabletop games. Whether they be miniature, tile, or board based games (and their accessories), you are one of the main reasons that this has happened in the last 2 years.

    Keep it up man!

  37. Thank you!

    And when you are starting to feel frustrated, depressed, or singular in a not-so-wonderful way, come back to this post and remember that you are having an impact on many people in a wonderfully singular way. :-)

  38. Dear Wil,
    Thank you for posting openly about your experiences with depression.
    Having lived with depression for a number of years myself i now prefer to view it as a stat on the gamecard that is my life. (+40 compassion -50 ability to listen to BS. +20 creativity in methods to kill boss)
    Knowing that awesome people such as yourself also have these issues makes life feel a hell of a lot less lonely. So thank you for your bravery.

    Also, CBT is pretty good. Good luck with it.

Comments are closed.