Last night, we all took a trip down memory lane, to the glory days of Universal Studios, when Conan The Barbarian was so cool, they gave him his own stage show, housed in a cool-looking castle.
Back then, they actually shot movies at the Universal lot, and, if you were lucky, you could take the tram tour and actually see as much film work as you’d find on an average Vancouver street these days. I remember not being able to ride the tram down one of the magical backlot streets, because they were filming this movie with the kid from Family Ties, where they drove this cool car, and some stuff happened. It was a long time ago, so I don’t completely remember.
Anyway, back in those glorious days, before runaway production ruined so many lives and dashed so many dreams, taking the backlot tram tour would actually put you, the lucky tourist, in the movies!
You could ride across this collapsing bridge, and go through an actual avalanche, from the Six Million Dollar Man. You could ride through the actual Red Sea, parted by the commanding voice of our tour guide, with the help of his trusty driver.
Jaws, the real Jaws, would actually jump out of the water at the tram, with only the skills of the aforementioned driver to save tramloads of “Maui 1980”-shirted tourists from certain doom.
Of course, facing the dangers of the movies was exciting and all, but that was nothing, after you’d driven into an actual Cylon Spaceship, and faced down the wrath of the Imperious Leader, with a little help from this guy named “Apollo”, from the real Battlestar Galactica. It was the first real “event” of the tram tour, and it was my absolute favorite part. Even better than the Psycho house, or 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
Once, when I was doing that whole “Teen Idol” thing, I was invited to Universal to host Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards. It was there that I met, and developed the hugest crush ever on, the one and only Debbie Gibson. (Who, in a bizarre twist of six degrees of separation, is good friends with one of the actors who I just worked with in ‘Neverland’. She told him to tell me “Hello”. Rock.)
Anyway, while we were at Universal, shooting segments for the awards show, they took us into the actual Cylon Spaceship, and let us experience it, “behind the scenes”. I got to put on the Apollo helmet, pick up the balsa wood gun, and lip synch, “In the name of the federation, I demand the release of the humans!”
It was beyond cool, even though I was like 15 or 16, and should really have been too cool for the whole thing, especially since I was hoping that Debbie Gibson would get lost in my eyes, and not be able to shake my love.
But, alas, the romance was not to be, and, although I did my best Apollo, they wouldn’t let me put on the whole costume and do it for real tourists.
The closest I ever got to being on Battlestar Galactica was running around the Enterprise, which wasn’t as good a consolation prize as you’d think.
A few years later, I read in the paper that the Battlestar Galactica attraction was gone, replaced by, get this, an escalator, that would transport tourists to the bottom of the hill, where they could wait in line for lame attractions like “ET’s Adventure” and something stupid from An American Tale. Billed, at the time, as the “world’s biggest escalator”, it failed to impress me the same way that balsa wood gun and FX smoke-filled room did.
Although I hadn’t ridden the backstage tour in years, I knew immediately that I would miss it forever.
I never went on studio tours again like the ones I did when I was 16.
Jesus, does anyone?
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Ahh, the Garbage, I mean Garden State.
Sunny San Diego, CA
But, originally from the Land of Cheese, Wisconsin.
I bow to you, Oh All Knowing One of Mel Brooks Lines. The Schwartz is strong in you….
Speaking of cool attractions, I liked the ST experience in Vegas pretty well. Not the ride itself, but the “experience” part. Anyone know what I’m talking about?
And yeh. Universal Tram Tour bites the farm these days. I went a few years ago and it’s not much of an experience any more.
San Diego, huh? One of my best friends is thinking of moving out there. Said it was gorgeous. NJ actually is not as bad as its rep. Plus, I’ll be moving to CT in a few months, land of bitchin’ pizza.
May the Schwartz be with you.
I’m a Mog. Half-man, half-dog. I’m my own best friend..
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
Yes, it is gorgeous here. All the same weather as LA. But, no (or very little) smog and none of the pretention of LA.
Bitchin Pizza in CT? Hmmm, WI has damn good pizza too – it must be the cheese. I’ve been on an Amtrak thru CT, but I’ve never been to NJ. NYC, but not NJ…..
HAIL SKROOB!
This ship is so big, if I walk, the movie will be over!
Courtney, you reminded me of something. My roommate Melissa and I went on a trip to London last year (I had lived in England the year before) and visited “The Star Trek Experience” in I believe it was the London Air and Space museum (or something to that effect). She is a geeky engineer, so had no problem with it. Well, we went into the exhibit, and let me tell you. I had not been as disappointed since the time my brother, mother and I drove all the way up to Prince Edward Island (my idea) because the travel guide said what a wonderful vacation destination it was, had a wonderful theme park, etc etc. It was red mud. The theme park was an innertube and a park bench. We stayed 2 hours then drove back to Quebec.
Anyway, the Star Trek experience was so dopey. None of the console stuff worked, it looked like it belonged in the Please Touch museum. The coolest thing was sitting in front of a trick mirror and seeing what you would look like as a Ferengi.
Ok, rant done. The IMAX Simpsons show was the coolest thing about the whole damned museum.
wil —
great story. you are dead on about how much universal studios sucks nowadays. the whole charm of the original universal studios was in being able to touch and feel and experience the SAME EXACT props and sets that were used by the actors in the making of their famous films and TV shows. as you said, the real shark from jaws. the real psycho house. the real battlestar galactica cylon warriors. i remember watching them shoot an episode of knight rider with 3 or 4 copies of the KITT car. i nearly wet myself. i also toured an exterior set they were using to shoot “back to the future 2.” that was like the high point of my year. (btw i was a teenager… you and i are the same age.)
now it is all half-assed rides and simulations and stuff that “recreates” those hollywood moments but doesn’t actually use any of the REAL STUFF! take planet hollywood for example. i’ve been to the ones in d.c., phoenix, and maui and they all have identical replicas of the terminator 2 robot model used in the movie. i say replicas because obviously they only used one for the actual shooting of the film and it cannot exist in three geographic locations at the same time. now, wasn’t the whole selling point of planet hollywood that you could see real props from real movies??
i think the most ridiculous thing of all is universal studios florida, where they rebuilt the psycho house and the jaws ride and all that, and obviously none of it has ANYTHING to do with the original stuff that was in the movies… other than the fact that the rights are all owned by the same parent holding company.
ironically, wil, i met you at universal studios florida, where you and nicole eggert were hosting/producing the nickelodeon kids choice awards, circa 1989. corey feldman did a really bad song and dance on stage and i remember seeing danica mckellar and jason hervey and some other miscellaneous teen heartthrobs. anyway, before the show, you had some kind of jaws shark action toy in your hand and since you had to go on stage, you asked me to hold it for you. being a TNG fan i was happy to oblige and gave it back at the end of the day.
Unless you give me the security code, I’ll give your daughter back…. HER OLD NOSE!
NO!!!!! Where did you get that?
Seize this, honkus!
OOOooh! Never say that to the cops!
Do you know the penalty for striking a Roman citizen?
Oooh, me me!
Yes?
….
They shove a living snake up your ass!
Hooohooh! No, but very creative..
Ya know, I lived in Vegas and never made it to the Star Trek experience.
Next time I go (my old roommates still live there) to Vegas, I’m going. No bout a doubt it.
Prepare ship for light speed!
No, no, no, light speed is too slow.
Light speed too slow?
Yes, we’re gonna have to go right to….ludicrous speed!
Huh?? Huh??
Ludicrous speed? Sir, we’ve never gone that fast before. I don’t know if the ship can take it!
What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
They’ve gone to plaid!!
On this ship you will refer to me as Idiot, not You Captain.
Sir! I’ve lost the bleeps…. the sweeps… and the creeps….
That’s not all he’s lost.
You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard! Jesus Christ! I’ve met some dumb bastards in my time, but you outdo them all!
I ran all the way home, doo wah doo wah ooh
Just to say I’m sorry, sorry ooh
What am i sayin………
Sorry, Stand By Me was on Bravo’s 5-Star Cinema last night (Chopper, Sic Kid) and I have had that in my head all day. I just needed to get it out. THanks!
Kimberly3: Is it sad that I remember watching that Nick Kid’s Choice Awards just to see Debbie Gibson and Wil?
I don’t think so, because I remember doing the same thing!!!
I’m quite amused, as the picture of you that I hung in my locker when I was 11 or 12 was from the issue of Bop/Teen Bop that featured your hosting of the Kid’s Choice awards.
And no, I’m not afraid to admit that. 😉
Runaway production may have ruined a few California lives, but for us here in Vancouver it’s great! I am currently sitting in my office on the 27th floor of Harbour Centre and can see four different productions occuring on the streets below. Dark Angel, The Core, Glory Days and one I can’t identify. T3 and X-MEN2 start filming next week.
Alright, Jeremy.
Now I’m jealous.
Wil,
thanks for the chuckle at the end of today’s post!
The Cylon attack was the coolest thing, EVER! I went to Universal studio’s when I was in third grade, or maybe fourth… and it was just as you described. Jaws, spinning avalanche, and the Red Sea parting. But to be attacked by Cylon’s!! Wooohooo! Now, I am sad… Oh Frack!
Boy, that brings back a rush of memories. I remember the small stuff — the “Town Hall Square” tat was used for everything from “Inherit the Wind”, to “Harper Valley PTA”, to “Back to the Future”. I remember seeing two identical doors next to each other on the side of a western saloon — except one was slightly smaller. I guess they’d put the hero in the small door (so he’d look more ‘manly’) and put the women in the larger on (to look more demure). I remember hearing that rows and rows of “General Lee” cars in a parking lot. They were shells; evidently they went through alot of’em when they filmed “Dukes of Hazard”. I remember laughing when the tram operator told us that virtually every palm tree we saw near a lagoon was fake — they were long dead. They had them in big pots so that they could move’em around and arrange them more easily. The leaves were spray-painted. When they fell off, they simply nailed’em back on. When we got off the tram, I recall taking a wrong turn and walking into a giant “cat” statue (I was told it was used in “Cat People”, but never saw it).
When I was there, they still had these goofy oversized props from some Lilly Tomlin movie (“Incredible Shrinking Woman”). A giant revolver, a giant pencil, etc. I still have a picture of me inside a giant gerbil cage. Oh, and I saw Andy Kaufmann filming some forgettable movie. At least I think it was him (he was in full robotic makeup).
Great fun!
I went on the U tour in the mid-eighties. All that was at the gate was the car from Back to the Future (and it looked all beat to s***). The tour took us through lots that were a virtual ghost town that day, and as the Psycho house stood overlooking us on a hill (appearing for all the world like a decrepit tenement) Bruce (that goddamn shark from Jaws) groaned mechanically, rose halfway out of water the color of beef broth, and then wheezed to a stop, mouth agape.
Last year my wife and I went to Paramount. The tour was excellent, and as Voyager had just finished filming it’s FINAL episode the day before, we had the delight of seeing Borg regeneration units sitting out back near a dumpster like so much gaudy trash. Cool.
yea chopper sick kids was so stupid y did they take everything out? and they called that kid lard instead of lardass.
Jess wanted me 2 post this….
Wil,
Please answer me back telling me why you won’t unblock
me from your site, I told you that I’m soo really
really sorry that I did something wrong on your
comments page, soapbox, and stuff. I asked this guy
that also goes to your site, the one that always used
to yell at me, and I asked if he was able to get on
your site, and he said yes, and I told him that I
couldn’t get on, and he told me that it wasn’t Wil’s
style to block people. And I agreed, because your so
cool and sweet, especially in Stand By Me. I’m really
really really sorry! Please, please forgive me, and
unblock me from your site because I can’t get back on
it anymore because it says forbidden. I won’t be bad
anymore I promise, I swear, Please please unblock me
so I can get back on your site? please your my
favorite actor and i’m soo upset please?..
love jess
Wow….total Stand by Me flashback.
Gonna have to watch the movie again.
Thanks Wil…that really made my day.
~Kaylin
I remember going to Universal Studios and catching the backstage movie ride. It was sooooooooooo faaarking cool! And just for a moment… I TOO, Jon Madon, wanted to crew a big motion picture/action film starring Bruce Willis (don’t know why him specificly, I was 8 or 9). Then I decided to be an actor…
…and haven’t set foot on stage since. I might do it, sooner or later.
-Jon
I realize that by the time I get to reading an updated postings, it’s already the next day, as I don’t have Internet access at my work.
KJB…they’ve removed the “Swiss Family Robinson” treehouse!?!!? Wow…shows you how old this ol’ fart is… 😮 )
Chris and noworriesmon…LOL!…you two cracked me up with all the lines from Mel Brooks’ movies..I caught references to “History of the World, Part 1” and “Spaceballs”. Very funny stuff…what about some lines from one of my all-time favorites of Mel’s…”Blazing Saddles”??
Hey, Wil…GREAT website, dude…you are quite the “famous” guy online…it’s all good. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for all the memories from other people too…
Looking forward to more…
Take care,
Yeah, Mark, they changed it to like, The Tarzan Jungle House or something. Makes me want to vomit.
Le sigh.
Chris, sorry that your ST Experience bought the farm. As a matter of fact, the one in Vegas could’ve sucked, maybe I just don’t remember.
Vegas + Alcohol = blurry memories
^_^
/Court
The Star Trek Experience is the single coolest thing related to Star Trek, outside of actually being in Star Trek.
Did that make sense?
Anyway, when I write the final chapter in SpongeBob Vega$Pants, it will be mostly about how cool that Experience was.
I dunno. I think today’s kids aren’t gonna find KITT sitting out in the lot cool anymore than I can bear to watch the Old Mickey Mouse Club.
DO they have Men In Black in California – there’s something great about getting to shoot things with both guns when no one is sitting next to you.
I can only live vicariously through everyone else’s childhood trips to Universal Studios… (;
And your trips to Vegas…
I really need to get out more.
You’re all much luckier than me. I’ve been stuck in frigid Ohio my WHOLE life. All we have is Paramount’s Kings Island, with some very short and VERY cranky Klingons.
Oh, but there’s Cedar Point… which used to have stinky, grimy Berenstein Bears!
That’s got to count for something. (;
They have the IMAX theater with the corrugated steel roof, too…. which was a GREAT place to be when those inevitable Lake Erie thunderstorms spawned tornadoes and waterspouts and stuff. (;
Wow,..we never did the studios thing, but my Dad was a VP for a plastics company that supplied Kenner and Hasbro and all those guys. He would bring home all the prototype toys that more often than not never made it into production because of cost, or safety problems. And I think I always felt the same remorse that you speak of when I learned at such a young age how much truly great stuff gets thrown by the wayside in order to let the flow of the mediocre continue.
Atlas Shrugged is all starting to make so much more sense to me in my old age 🙂
Mark, glad to have provided some amusement for someone other than the psychologists… Can’t help on the Blazing Saddles tho, fell asleep through the only time I watched it. I happened to have been on a date at the time, which should show you how boring it must have been to put me to sleep thru a Mel Brooks movie. But I digress. I tried to bring some out from High Anxiety, but without success… Ah well, maybe I should quote some lines from Silent Movie :):)
Court-
I don’t know why we didn’t think to bring some hard alcohol into the exhibit. There was this one “game” where you had to shoot some kind of bubbles on the screen based upon where you were on the same screen (sort of like an UnCool VR game). I bet it would have been alot more fun after a few Vodka tonics… No wonder the English drink so much….
LOL! I WORKED at Cedar Point! Trust me, it’s NOT exciting. Welcome aboard the Cedar Point and Lake Erie Railroad Ladies and Gentleman. While riding we do ask that you please remain seated at all times keeping hands, arms, and legs inside the car. Please secure all loose articles such as hats, bags, strollers and cameras as Cedar Point is not responsible for there loss or damage should they fall from the train. Remember please that eating, drinking and smoking are not permitted. Thank you and have a great day at Cedar Point… America’s ROCKIN’ Roller Coast!
🙂 Oh the memories…
P.S. I can say that whole thing in about 15 seconds! Don’t you love people like me!
Oh, lawd, not another Stand By Me reference…..
i have got to break my livejournal addiction and get here more often…my poor eyes cannot manage to go through hundreds of comments at a time.
anyway, wil, you amuse me so very much. in a laugh out loud way that leaves me thinking ‘damn i love that wil wheaton’.
Ask your friend Debbie Gibson if she knows the other girl from back then, Tiffany, who’s going to be in Playboy. Now THAT would rock! And would make you cool.
Does anyone remember Fraggle Rock?
Wil! What a fantastic site! So much to see and do!
I remember going to Universal Studios when it was still cool too! (Summer ’82) I had heard how much the park had changed so when my husband and I had our honeymoon in L.A. we wound up taking the Paramount walking tour instead. It was really nice. (They were just wrapping up extra shooting for ST:Generations.)
I’ve brought out my pictures from that visit to Universal and found a picture of a cylon. If someone wants me to post it, let me know…*LOL*
Two Words
ROLAND RAT!!!!!!!
Damn. I remember the cylon space ship. It’s gone? That’s a real tragedy. Generations of youth who will never experience it as we did. Mind you, they will probably never experience Battlestar Galactica…