Comments From The Wife

I’m going to start by saying that I am so lame when it comes to computers. I don’t even know how to turn one on. In fact, I’m pretty bad with any electronics. When the daylight savings time happens, the clock in my car is off by an hour for six months. Before meeting Wil, my VCR was always flashing 12:00. Pretty lame huh?
My friends tease me for having a husband who can build his own website, yet I have to ask what a BLOG is. You get the picture. So when Wil told me that he put on his website (he has to read me his entries and prints out responses for me to look at) that he wanted to do something cool for me for putting up with all the time and energy (and MANY profane words) he has put into building and maintaining his site, by doing sort of a “donation box” for a gift for me, I was so touched by this. So touched, in fact, that I had Wil set up this whole little deal here so all I had to do was type what I want to say. And boy, do I have a lot to say. I’m so excited. I feel like I finally have communication with this whole world that I only hear about! I know, you’re probably thinking, “what the hell is wrong with this girl? Does she live in some sort of cave?! Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I live in an Atari 2600 world. Simple, yes. Advanced? No. But that’s ok. I have a husband who can look things up for me if I really need to. But it is pretty cool to finally have a chance to have my thoughts about all this heard. So first things first. (Oh and by the way, I still play my Atari. what the hell is this Playstation thing anyway?)
First of all, I was totally surprised when I came home from work today and Wil told me about his “donation box” story. Surprised mostly because I have friends who read his entries everyday, and didn’t tell me he was doing this. But also that there were enough donations that he was able to get me a gift certificate for a yummy day at a spa. Mmm… massage…. oh sorry, where was I? Anyway, these past few months have been very difficult, but at the same time very rewarding for Wil, as he was able to get his site going. You know, I think it has been for me too. Wil would stay up FOREVER working on this, which meant me going to sleep by myself, and work on it every free moment he had. So it’s nice to see Wil so happy with all his hard work paying off for him. He feels like people get to see what he’s really like, instead of what some “I hate Wesley” fan guy has to say. And just in case you were wondering, I had never seen Star Trek until they started running that marathon on TNN or TNT whichever one it is. Wil watched that thing practically the whole time it was on. He kept saying, ” Oh, this is my FAVORITE episode.” ok seriously, he said that like 20 times. But it was kinda funny that he really likes that stuff. Even when he’s in it. So once in a while he’d say, “look honey! There I am! Man does that suit look stupid. Oh man, look at my lame hair!” But he’s all into science fiction stuff, so that must have been pretty cool to be part of something you like so much.
Anyway, his website means so much to him and I think that it’s so awesome that people have responded so well to it. Of course, he tells me about the occasional lame ass that has to throw in his negative two cents now and then. But I guess that’s the beauty of this on-line world. You don’t have to say your shit directly to the person’s face. But I guess you do what makes you happy. I think that Wil tries to not take that crap seriously. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. I never thought that all his time spent on this entitled me to any sort of gift. I have the gift of a happy husband. (I know… gag) Nevertheless, I am extremely touched by your generosity, and I’ll be thinking of you all while I’m having my spa day. Thanks!
On to the next subject. The most recent entry of Wil’s (at least the one he read to me yesterday, and printed out all the responses for me to read) The 7 things you are thankful for today. My list is for today and everyday since I am a dork with this computer and probably won’t get a chance to do this for another six months
1. My husband- his unconditional love for me and for Ryan and Nolan (my men)
– his little love notes in my lunch I take to work or my suitcase when I go out of town
– the way he rubs my ear at night to help me fall asleep
– when he thanks me every time I do his laundry
2. My aforementioned men (Ryan and Nolan)-the way Ryan laughs so hard he can’t sit up (just like I do)
-when Nolan tells me he loves me and gives me a kiss in front of his class (because he doesn’t care what his friends think yet)
-that they both still make me Mother’s Day cards out of construction paper
– they have Wil’s sense of humor, even though they aren’t biologically his
3. My friends- the handful of close ones I have had for years
– the same ones that have to hear the same stories about the bullshit my ex husband is doing now
– the same ones that we take turns taking each other to the airport
– the same ones that go do stuff with me while my husband works on his website
4. My job- that I’m actually doing something I enjoy-something I chose for a career
-that I can make my own schedule so I can be here for the kids or take a day off to hang out with Wil
5. My health and my family’s health- I know that that seems like a typical one, but we have had a lot of death around us recently, so I am truly thankful that we are all well.
6. Chocolate- need I say more?
7. The Simpson’s- now you’re probably thinking “what? does she mean OJ?” No. Definitely no. As in Homer. You see, that show is probably the one thing that makes Wil laugh harder than anything. It’s funny. He laughs so hard he puts his hand in front of his face, but you can still see that the tip of his tongue curls up. Isn’t that weird? I wonder why that happens. Probably the same explanation as me not being able to sit up straight when I laugh really hard. Just one of those things. Anyway, hours of entertainment, that’s all. And the happiness it brings my husband.
I just loved reading all the responses and lists of everyone’s 7 things. Wil is pretty cool that way. I guess that’s why I married him. He’s a smart guy. An honest, funny, loving, caring, wanting to make the world a better place kind of guy.
I think this whole computer thing isn’t so bad after all! Of course, it’s taken me an hour to type all this. No seriously, it has. I think my 10 year old could type faster than I could. I guess I should finish now. I think I’ll go kick Wil’s ass in some Air-Sea Battle- guided missiles of course. He hates that he can never beat me. Then again, I am 3 years older than him. That gives me 3 more years practice. Whatever the case, he’s still getting his ass kicked by a GIRL!
Thanks again for the awesome gift! And please, tell Wil to wear his glasses (they totally look like the ones Corey Feldman wore in Stand By Me… I think he jacked them) while he’s on the computer. He looks cross-eyed when he’s on this thing for too long (which is everyday)
See ya!
Anne
P.S. Did Wil ever finish telling you about the Vegas trip back in September? I think that was how all this got started and he mentioned a while ago that he hadn’t finished it yet. So let me sum it up for you…. his sketch comedy show was awesome, William fucking Shatner still doesn’t speak to Wil (but I guess he has since then…Weakest Link thing)….we… I should say I, lost my ass at roulette(is that how you spell that?) and our second-hand smoke filled 5 day extravaganza was finished off by my laryngitis, and upper respiratory infection due to all the damn smoke -illness. God I hate Vegas. I can’t wait to go back. Later!

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255 thoughts on “Comments From The Wife”

  1. WOW!!!!! What else is there to add? I agree with
    Ryan and everyone else..Mrs.Wheaton the pleasure
    of reading your thoughts made my day..You two
    seem so together “TOGETHER”..its perfect. Mrs. W
    you really need a site..or at LEAST a link! Thanx
    so MUCH for sharing Wil with the rest of the
    world..he really is trying to make it a better
    place which is so admirable..OK I’ll stop soon..
    Since I missed yesterday..and almost today I
    WIL do my list now!
    1.For my best friend and S.O. that was on my
    roof when I got home yesterday “desquirrlizing”
    my attic..and cleaning the gutters!
    2.For my cat, Raven.
    3.WWDN..what would I do without you all? (Espec
    Spuddy!)and of course Wil!
    4.MUSIC..almost any kind.
    5.Flowers..any kind.
    6.COMPUTER’S and the geeky people that can make
    them do MAGIC.
    7.My friends at work who hold me up when I can’t
    do it myself..
    Thank you for this opportunity..This has been a
    public service announcement..we wil now resume
    our abnormal proggraming!

  2. *waves meekly*
    This is my first post here. I found this site about a month ago and I think its so cool that Wil runs it himself. Ive been a fan of Wil since his days on Star Trek.
    So Wil if and when you read this, I just want to say hi and say hi to Anne for me too. Keep up the good work! You ROCK!
    *vanishes*

  3. Insert obligatory “Mrs. Wheaton (SIR!) is cool” quote here.
    Follow with obligatory “Roughy – cheese” statement.
    Finish with random “Canada” comment.

  4. Hello Anne and Wil
    Wil may not realize this, but he has a lot more
    friends in the world than his page counters and
    convention appearences may lead him to believe.
    As for the hecklers, well, nobody likes to be
    called low down and high smelling do they? The
    people who do not get Wil are mostly the same
    ones who delighted in stomping baby birds and
    tormenting house cats as children. Should he
    care what the unwashed think of him? No, but
    I know he does anyway because that is the sort
    of guy Wil is. From his posts, I know he is
    glad and lucky to have you by his side. He has
    given us who have come to know him as a fine
    man a gift greater than the few dollars he has
    been given for his time and hard work. Thanks for
    sharing him with his friends Anne and I am glad you had a good time. I have not posted before
    but have read Wil’s posts and appreciate his spirit and admire his wit. I liked his role
    in stand by me and was pleasantly surprised
    when I saw him in Next generation. Too bad
    star trek academy was nixed by the studio.
    it would have been a great vehicle to showcase
    Wil’s talent for teen angst. 🙂
    respectfuly from a friend
    Greg

  5. Anne:
    tres cool, that you have ventured into the land of the WWDN fans. I admit, I haven’t been a good poster lately… but I’ve been a little busy. Going back to college, changnig my major over to music…. that sorta fun.
    That was pretty cool, you listing your seven things… and I gotta agree with you… chocolate rules. I think I oughta put up my list… so without furthar ado, my list:
    1. My family, dysfunctional as they can be sometimes.
    2: Wil, because I VERY much enjoy his unique sense of humor in my day. Even though I haven’t heard the Burrito in ages….
    3. CHOCOLATE. The ultimate sensory experience.
    4. Garfield. Next to wil himself, I can’t quite go without America’s #1 fat cat to read every day.
    5. October. My favorite time of year in New England, the trees and weather are always just heavenly IMO.
    6. The simplicity of the original NES system. Yes, I still have one that works. And a Super NES, and a bunch of gameboy games. Who needs that fancy shmancy X-Box, cool as it is to play…? Sometimes, it’s the simple things in life, that are best.
    7. Did I mention Wil, already? I owe him BIG time, for not only introducing me to Cafepress.com, but who else is cool enough, to help me find the music for Contra on mp3? You ROCK, Wil! And so does your family, for encouraging your exceptional computer skills! Keep it up, man.
    Honorable mention goes to Star Trek, my cd burner, my piano teacher, and my computer, as things I’m also happy about.
    Okay… I’m yawning now. And Anne… don’t base your typing, on what other people do. Take me for example. When I write a story, it takes me ALL DAY to write one chapter… but that’s because I focus on quality, not quantity. Everyone does things at their own pace, be comfortable in what you can do, right NOW. And give yourself time to experiment on his pc. In time, maybe you’ll get more experience. Everyone learns, from experience. Wil started his site, wiht the lame Geocities site builder… and NOW look at him. Because he kept at it. Don’t feel bad… you did a really, really cool job, on your first post.
    -David.

  6. Dammit! I had this whole long post and then my computer disconnected from the internet and now it is GONE! Gone forever!
    Okay, it is now way past my bedtime, but I will reconstruct as well as I can, because I know everyone around here is just dying to hear what I think of Wil’s wife. Right? Right. So.
    Anne, first of all I think you’re really cool. Second, why’d ya have to bring up glasses? Now my husband is saying, “Hey, why aren’t you wearing YOUR glasses?” Sheesh! Anyway, come back often because we love you! In fact, looking around, you may be more popular than Wil.
    (Sigh.) I wish there were 50,000 monkeys envying my marriage. Now that would rock!
    New t-shirt:
    Have you had your Wheatons today?
    Hmm. Was that lame? It’s so hard to tell when you’re half asleep, squinting at the computer screen. (All right, all right, I will start looking for my glasses! When? Uh, I don’t know. Soon.) Yeah, I think it was lame. Oh, well.

  7. Anne, good to have you. (:
    You’re a lucky woman.
    Wil, you’re a lucky guy.
    Nolan and Ryan, you’re lucky, too.
    Everybody’s lucky!

  9. ANNE – SO great to see you post! From now on I hope there will be more!! Both you crazy BIG kids and the little ones are SO lucky!!! I hope I’ll have a love like that as soon as I get married!
    WIL – WEAR YOUR GLASSES!! My ex had glasses like that and they were dead sexy! I can only imagine what you, who is TOTALLY SEXY (sorry Anne!) would look like in them. You rub her ear? HOW FREAKIN SWEET IS THAT? I love that!
    Ok, so, bed time!! Buh bye!

  10. Oh no! Jodilyn – that’s f***ing hilarious! So do me and my husband. LOL!! I thought we were the only dorks who did that! 🙂
    And dake – hell yeah! Good movie. (“So, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll fight like civilzed human beings?” “Sportsman-like, Like God intended”)

  11. “You fell for one of the classic blunders! The most famous is ‘never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well known is this – never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! A ha ha ha! A ha ha ha! A ha ha ha ha ha-”
    THUMP.

  26. Send us no more bluejeans, cruel Americans!
    Can you not see the anguish in our watery, ice-blue eyes as they well up with tears of watery anguish and ice-blue anguish?!
    We cannot wear them.
    Keep your bluejeans.
    They are not for us!
    For we have no bones.
    Sad.

  27. Do not weep, my husband.
    It is not cruelty which compels them to send us bluejeans, but rather it is misplaced kindness.
    They give… but know nothing of our shame.
    The children must not see your watery, ice-blue anguish tears in your eyes of anguish.
    Come!
    Go!
    Leave!
    For to no more crying on this the greatest day of the year…
    The day of February when we celebrate the opening of the shed for people what needs to borrow rakes upon the…
    Solstice.
    Some wheat.
    Go!

  30. It’s great to see that you’re so understanding about the hubs spending so much time at the computer. I feel like you and Wil are like the West Coast version of me and my hubby! We get a kick out of The Simpsons too (“Teacher, I glued my head to my shoulder!”). And don’t tell anyone *Toonces looks over her shoulder to make sure said hubby isn’t looking*, but my hubs has this thing about yawning with his tongue sticking out. So there ya go. Maybe they were seperated at birth? 🙂
    Anyway, thanks for taking part in the site. I’ve only been here for a short while, but I can apprieciate the time Wil spends on the place, and also the fact that he’s willing to share the experience with you. Hope you enjoy the spa day!

  34. I was sad because I had no bluejeans. Then I behelt Lermontov, the man who has bluejeans, but no bones. And beside him was his wife , who has bluejeans, but no bones as well.
    And I became sadder. And drank some vodka. More vodka. Still more. Til purple wolves came. And they danced. They danced the sad dance of the Lermontov’s. The couple who have bluejeans, but no bones.
    Moral of the story
    You do not want to come across a drunk who needs bluejeans. Especially if you are Lermontov, the man who has bluejeans, but no bones. And his wife, who also has bluejeans, but no bones.

  35. I am concerned with the watchings of pr0nography by a man with no bones.
    Does it not seem to be ironic…
    I mean, why would someone watch something that gives a lot of us that which he does not have.
    Oh…wait.
    I get it now.
    Lermontov now has a bone, methinks.
    Methinks Mrs. Lermontov is appreciative.

  36. Oh, Great Wheat Thresher in the sky…
    Why?
    Why hef you cursed me and my children and the people of my village from here down to the river and a few on the other bank near the grist mill with bonelessness?
    What hef we done in our comink and goink and comink and… goink… to merit such travail?!
    What?
    WHAT?!

  37. It’s all a failure to respect the cheese.
    Respect for cheese = blue jeans.
    Disrespect for cheese is the hobgoblins of greengoblins in the minds of spidermen.

  38. Privacy? In this man’s Internet?
    It’s like asking if the Pope’s Jewish.
    I hope never to find cheese in my bluejeans. Or any bluejeans, for that matter.

  49. I cannot be broken.
    Merely…
    Bent.
    In a multitude of action poses.
    Placed in a small box.
    Or bag.
    Made to walk down stairs alone or in pairs.
    Pressed against the Sunday comics until I bear the imprint of Mary Worth and then s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d until funny, funny pictures happen…
    YES!
    Yes, Javert…
    Bent.
    But NEVER broken.

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