I am officially a total geek right now.
I am listening to the Batman soundtrack (the Danny Elfman score, not that Prince monstrosity) on my PC speakers while I type this.
I think it’s appropriate, because I’m writing this morning about those really awesome days of youth, when nobody understands you, your parents are completely unreasonable, and you can’t wait to grow up.
During those days in my life, the Batman score competed with Black Celebration and Only a Lad for air time in my car. It was part of the soundtrack of my life.
Last night, I was watching the History Channel, and this commercial for some 80s super box set comes on. It’s pretty standard for an 80s collection: there’s Foreigner and Journey, as well as some Crowded House and Howard Jones (yeah, I thought that was a weird mix, too.)
While I’m watching this commercial, I start to feel this completely overwhelming sadness. This type of massive sadness that starts so deeply within me, I can’t even define its origin in a physical location. It was sadness coming out of my soul. I get this feeling that I can only describe as “hyper-nostalgia.”
So I’m sitting there in bed, my cat snuggled up to me on one side, my wife sound asleep on the other side, and I start to silently weep, as this David Fincheresque montage of childhood images and feelings races through my mind. I can feel my fear and nervousness the first morning I went to public high school in 9th grade. I can feel the excitement of standing in line to see Batman, in Westwood, at 9AM a few weeks before it opened. I see faces of friends long forgotten, and places which were teenage hangouts that don’t even exist anymore. I feel pain, love, hope…but mostly, I feel sadness and regret that is completely overwhelming.
It’s like I’m sitting in my bed, mourning the passing of my youth.
It’s not that my life is totally miserable now, it’s just so much more complicated than it was when I was a child, and I haven’t really stopped to think about that in quite some time.
I mean, I would gladly trade wondering whatever bullshit my wife’s ex-husband is going to pull today for not being able to stay out past 12 with my friends.
I would gleefully trade worrying about making mortgage payments for…well, for anything, really! 🙂
Every time I go to Paramount, I look around and I think to myself, “man, I had it so good here. Too bad I was too young and arrogant to realize that.” But that could be a series of entries, all on it’s own.
When I go up to my parent’s house, and go to my old bedroom, I can see in my mind the phantoms of my teenage years: Watchmen comics bagged and hung on the walls. Depeche Mode concert posters above my bed, where my cat Ziggy would be sleeping. Stacks of GURPS source books on the floor, and, of course, my Mac II, complete with smokin’ fast 2400 baud modem.
I miss all of these things, and writing about them now I can really feel a sense of loss, and longing. I just closed my eyes, and I could see things in my old bedroom that I haven’t thought about in years: 82 Los Angeles Kings season ticket stubs from 1988-89, taped to the wall next to my computer, underneath this simply dreadful fantasy-art poster I bought at a game con that same year. A clump of silly string mashed into the cottage cheese stuff on the ceiling, above my bed. Five book shelves, filled with VHS copies of the entire collection of 79 episodes of Star Trek.
I recently visited one of my best friends from high school, who moved into his mom and dad’s house when they moved out. It’s the same house we hung out in when we were young, but now his kids are running around in it…and I can still see the path we wore through the ivy, going up the hill to my house. The house is the same, but it’s so very, very different now.
My best friend Darin is getting married in just a few weeks. Darin and I have known each other since I was 14 and he was 16. We have done just about everything together, and crossed lots of major bridges together on our way to adulthood. I’ve been married with kids for 2 years, but never felt like it was that big a deal…it’s HIM getting married that makes me feel like we’re finally adults, with mortgages and responsibilities. When he is married, we will have crossed another major rubicon together.
So when I saw this commercial last night, it hit me: I’m turning 30 in 3 months.
Three months, man.
I am the primary father figure to two kids, one of whom will be a teenager two days after I turn 30.
A teenager, man.
I am going to be the parent to a teenager, and I’m going to be 30. I don’t know why that’s fucking with me as much as it is, but it sure is burning a lot of cycles in my brain.
Thing is, I know that I’ll be 40 someday, and I’ll look back and think, “Man, I thought things were so messed up at 30…and I was so wrong,” as I watch Ryan graduate from college, or get married, or whatever.
But right now, I miss those wonderful days in the late 80s and early 90s, when I couldn’t wait for the weekend, so I could hang out at Darin’s house and play GURPS and Illuminatti, before heading out to the movies to catch whatever crappy Lethal Weapon movie was in theatres.
I totally understand that saying about youth being wasted on the young. I guess that’s the beauty of childhood: we don’t know how tough life is going to get when we grow up, so we cavalierly waste time, blissfully ignorant of how valuable our youth is going to be to us, late one night when we can’t sleep, because we’re thinking about paying bills.
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I think Pink Floyd said it best:
Ticking away the moments that make up the dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
——————————————————————————–
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find that ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
——————————————————————————–
And you run and run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
——————————————————————————–
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or a half page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in a quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone the song is over, thought i’d something more to say
Thanks for depressing me!
Buy a Jeep, you’ll feel better.
I’m turning 30 in 8 months. I know exactly how you’re feeling. Married, 2 kids, my best friend just got married a few months ago. I missed my 10 year high school reunion last year, and man do I regret that.
Keep up the good work Wil.
I miss my childhood, too. I remember when I couldn’t wait to be an adult, and now I wish I had just taken the time to enjoy being a kid. I turned 30 last month, and I didn’t have a problem with it, until the other day. I was training for a new job, and this pipsqueak 20 yr. old said that he wanted to train with me beacause I’m OLD! I never thought I looked old, but now I keep looking in the mirror to see if I really do. My husband thinks that’s funny. Damn younguns!
You just quoted the way I felt last night, word for word. And I’m only 23. But having a mortgage to pay and not being able to find employment in this screwed up economy… well, it gets to you. My only regret is that I wish I were an actor. That way, when I act really strange and melodramatic and “out of tune” with mainstream society, people could nod their heads knowingly and say, “Pshht, actors.”
Actually, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard anyone say “pshht” before.
GSL
I believe the comment is:
Youth is wasted on the young……
Hey Wil,
Here’s my take on 30: approaching 30 is far far worse than being 30. Have the party, whoop it up. But when you actually become 30, it’s a relief. The excitement of approaching your 30s outweighs lamenting your 20s because you finally realize, 30 is still goddamn young.
So don’t sweat it. Remind me of this as I approach 40.
GURPS?
I’m 33 and my childhood ain’t over! The new Star Wars toys go on sale tonight and I can’t wait! You going?
Don’t be sad. This is normal. Usually between the ages of 30 and 35 or so, people suddenly have this self-evaluation hit them. You look back at your life, and have to think: gosh, that part is over. Why didn’t I appreciate it more? Why did I have to make those mistakes? What do I do now?
This is a bittersweet experience, but an important one, similar to the Alcoholics Anonymous “searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” It’s difficult, and it’s hard, but you know, at the end of the day, whether you’re 30 or 40 or 50, you are still yourself albeit with a bit more experience.
Cherish this time, and these memories, and this chance to embrace the past as well as the future.
And .. yeah, that kinda stuff. 🙂
I know what you’re saying. I have a 10 month old son and I turn 30 on April 29th. I’ve been married for almost 7 years! (in June) I’m feeling my age but I’m loving being a parent and wife.
(My previous post was brought to you by my Mom. Just so you know.)
*Sighs* You made ME feel nostalgic.
I’ve only just turned 17!!! *Gets worried*
But yeah, that was really sad man!! But you’ve still got loads of life ahead of you, and you can relive your teenage years through the kids :0)
Wow, turning 23 on Friday doesn’t seem so bad now . . . thanks man!
*Realises something*
Gosh darnit, if you’re nearly 30 then I’m gonna have to forget my childhood/teen crush and fantasies!!!
Grrrr ;0)
1 year, 274 days, 9 hours and some minutes before 30, I begin to realize that life is all too swift in it’s movements, all too damn fast. Too many memories flood my thoughts, as I sit at my desk, wondering what bill will be in the mailbox today, as I crawl in rush hour traffic toward home.
Wil is right. I miss those days of jumping over the local golf course’s fences and heading down to the creek that ran down it’s middle. To find friends, adventure and just waste some time way, playing, fooling around and not even realize your just a little closer to the end of the ride.
But, I look forward to the first cry of my first child. The first ball to be thrown by him or her, before little league tryouts. The first school dance for them.
Life is moments. Whether lived, or remembered, it all becomes a part of the whole of our lives.
Here’s to life, and the hope that tomorrow will come…
Philosophizing in Philly,
Leo
For those who don’t know find out about GURPS here: http://www.sjgames.com/gurps/
You know I would say take heart, but I think inside all of this is a sweet joy welling up that you will only realize once you have passed the milestone and moved onward. It’s like the first time you did anything – an Ollie, first century bike ride, first 10K run – the anticipation brings up more than you can possibly explain. The realization leaves you wondering what you were so worried about. That we all go through it is no salve for what you are feeling right now and that you will ultimately rejoice in moving forward is probably of no help either. Youth is not wasted on the young it is lavished on us in the only time when we can truly marvel and form into who we will be.
Peace be with you.
once again Uncle Willy voices a nerve hitting mood. i’m but a wee lad of 25 and have been going through that same ‘life evaluation’. thankfully i don’t have the kids or the mortgage, but to look back and pinpoint the lost opportunities, friends i’ve lost touch with and people i’ve truely underappreciated…is a long list.
and yes, i know what GURPS is. i was in the wargaming rather than RPG crowd though.
one more year, turning away
meaning nothing; but night into day
lost and faded, never to be seen
i’ll meet you again in my next drunken dream
colder, gets colder: and i realise i’m older
touch my heart like you never did before
seems wrong – im still living, that i should be
so unwilling
and i know i should be giving you more
who would’ve thought? i’ll admit, i did hope
my unnatural breathing, our failure to cope
i’ve seen strangers before me – who stumble and fall
there goes another year
makes no difference at all
Wil,
You’re bringing me down. Down like a sledge hammer.
And you didn’t cross EVERY bridge with Darin! I mean, all I saw was you, Feldman, River, and the fat kid on that bridge! No Darin! What’s the story there?!
Wil,
Don’t worry about it…turning 30 isn’t anything. Yeah, you have the mortgage and other bills, but the really GOOD part is your lovely wife and those great kids! 😮 )
I’m also a very nostalgic and sentimental person. I tend to want things that were in my childhood to never change, and when I go back to see if they have, then I’m disappointed when I see that they really did change. But, that’s life and just how things go. All you can do is cherish what you have, what you DID have in the past and hope great things for the future.
Enjoying the website..keep up the great work!
Take care,
I know just how you feel Will. I’m going to be 40 in 3 months, and I have many of the same feelings. What is it about these milestone birthdays that make us all weepy and sentimental!
Hey Wil….
Ive had several urges to write in the past but nothing moved my hand as much as this. I turned 30 March 1st and in the time up to that, and since, Ive often found myself thinking the same thoughts. At any rate, you’re not alone, dig?
On a less somber note, and since Im posting anyway, Your “Im a cowboy, howdy , howdy, howdy.” headline cracked me up a few months ago. Great Far Side ref. Sorry to go off topic…..
little
Yeah, I used to have this childhood, then this woman came and put me in a ginger bread cake cage where I hunted deer and tried not to contract syphillis. God bless wee willy wheaton and all that sail in/on/in him/her.
peace will.
Call me the Queen of Nostalgia. You just can’t avoid it when you’ve live the last 19 years of your life in the same medium-sized town. From 8 to 27 I’ve lived in the same place. Learned to drive here, fell in love (and had my heart broken) for the first time here, buried my first pet here, lost my virginity here, experienced all the violent peaks and valleys of adolecence here.
But one thing I’ve learned is that the more you look back the greater your chance for taking a wrong turn on the road ahead.
I, for one, am looking forward to my 30’s. Damn, Wil, think about it. All of the awkward insecurities of your teens and tumultuous instabilities of your twenties are behind you! You are more stable, more settled, more comfortable than circumstances of life have allowed before.
I have loved my twenties. In retrospect, I also loved my teens. But just because what lies ahead is different than what came before, it shouldn’t make you sad. Rather, be grateful that you’ve made it this far on the path to see another phase of life.
Live what you are, not what you were. Life is one great trip.
Yeah but on the plus side you look like you’re about 23.
And you don’t have to worry about your parents catching you mastrubating.
I hear ya Wil. I’m not THAT old, only 27, but my 1 year High School Reunion is in a few months.
Makes me think of HIgh School. 10 years ago, and what life was like.
But, I would never go back. I wouldn’t trade all the personal growth and insight for freedom from responsibility.
But, how about just a week of it? 😉
Hi Will,
That’s so funny. My friend and I were just chatting about this very topic this morning. I’m 25 and lately the fact that I will be turning 30 in 4 1/2 years has been on my mind.
Last month one of my close friends celebrated her 26th birthday and I told her, “Wow, four more years and you’ll be 30.” She glared at me and said, “I hadn’t even thought of that, gee thanks.” Immediately, I felt really bad that those words had slipped out of my mouth.
I also reminsince about my childhood frequenctly. My life now is pretty good even though like many my age, I’m boggled down with student loans, rent, bills, etc. But, I think about where I envisioned myself to be at this age when I was 10, 13, and 18 and I feel a little disappointed. However, when we are that young, I think that we are naively optimistic. Like you said, at that age we don’t know the realities of life as an adult.
Anywhoo – I appreciated this post. It’s always nice and comforting to know that others feel the same way. I also, have been seeing those I know getting married, having kids, etc and it’s both happy and disturbing at the same time. Maybe this sounds silly coming from someone that’s 25 and not as close to pushing 30, but it’s how I feel. Thanks…
-V
You sound like Richard Dryfues grieving over the loss of his youth with a typewriter:) Sorry, I couldn’t help but notice the similarity. Everybody gets hit with a flood of nostalgia at sometime(s) in their life, it can be depressing and joyful. I try hard to just appreciate the fact that I got to live my childhood once, some kids get robbed of their youth entirely, that’s truly sad.
I’ll be hitting 30 in September; I don’t know about you, but I plan on leaving my 20’s with a bang!
Wow, I had a similiar experience yesterday, except (geekily enough) from a set of dice I found. It was the same set of dice we used to play our pen and paper games with when I was just 14 and there they were again still being used by other people for D’N’D. Realizing that you’ve now known someone (the owner of the dice) for more than half your life is kind of a scary thing. I think (as others have already mentioned) that those of us around 30 all have these kinds of feelings. I think it’s ok to feel nostalgic, just don’t get lost in it.
Hi! I just wanted to say that I am probably the only person having more fun at 32, than I ever did as a teenager. I was a model when I was 15-18, so a lot of the fun “geeky” stuff that I really should have been enjoying was missed out on. My hubby and I STILL play RPG’s (not GURPS, but White Wolf), we have Classic 80’s Arcade Games in our gameroom, a slushie machine, and have marathon weekends of online gaming. The best part is being able to afford the toys you couldn’t have as a kid. So enjoy the nostalgia, but remember, 30 is not bad, if you still remember how to be a kid! 🙂
I know exactly how you feel. I went back to school and am finishin up college at 26 and sheesh, these kids are all so young…
My solution is to latch on to the things I love and don’t look back. I still play GURPS, and D&D, and read sci-fi and pine over geek girls who see me as a friend. It’s like a dual life — I’m the ‘adult type’, but I’m also the kid, I guess…that’s what you have to do. Remember that you can have fun, even when life tries to convince you you can’t.
And from what you’ve said, Wil, you do that all the time.
If you want, you can sit at my table anytime…real or online.
–Matt
30 is the age at which you start realizing that you will have to grow up sometime. 40 is the age at which you realize that you will eventually have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.
50, now — it kind of hits you that you really are an adult – no way out of it! You’re also (ugh!) middle-aged. But the good thing is that you’re who you’re going to be and are comfortable with it. Life gets easier as you get older.
Look forward to the days that come while you cherish the days past. They are a part of you and make you what you are.
30 is the age at which you start realizing that you will have to grow up sometime. 40 is the age at which you realize that you will eventually have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.
50, now — it kind of hits you that you really are an adult – no way out of it! You’re also (ugh!) middle-aged. But the good thing is that you’re who you’re going to be and are comfortable with it. Life gets easier as you get older.
Look forward to the days that come while you cherish the days past. They are a part of you and make you what you are.
30 is the age at which you start realizing that you will have to grow up sometime. 40 is the age at which you realize that you will eventually have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.
50, now — it kind of hits you that you really are an adult – no way out of it! You’re also (ugh!) middle-aged. But the good thing is that you’re who you’re going to be and are comfortable with it. Life gets easier as you get older.
Look forward to the days that come while you cherish the days past. They are a part of you and make you what you are.
OMG, I will be 30 in 4 months, I have 3 kids, been married for what seems like forever and both of us, last night, finally, consciously have decided to grow up and stop worrying about what EVERYONE will think of us. We are going to live for us, and as an example of what we want our kids to turn out like.
We had this cool conversation with our son in the car the other day, we asked him who’s job was more important, the doctor or the garbage man. We told him both, if we didn’t have either we would be in a heap of it. We went on to tell him that the reason he needed to study is so he can *choose* to be anything he wanted, not have his job choose him. So if our son chooses to be a doctor, computer programmer or icecream taster, or even a garbage man, we hope he won’t look back on his life when he is nearly 30, like us, and regret all the doors that we closed because of our haste to be what we thought our families needed us to be.
Wow Wil!
You’re describing what many of us 20-somethings are feeling as well. I’m just a few years younger than you, but I’m hitting that mid-20s crisis syndrome. My friend, who just turned 30 in Feb., went through what you’re feeling now. (Although the event that struck him was the fact that Matthew Broderick, aka Ferris Bueller, is 40 now.)
Heck, I dwell on the 80s and early 90s every now and then…but then you gotta think: there’s a lot to look forward to, as well. And you’ll always have friends and family to help you every step of the way 🙂
And if all else fails, watch ‘the Simpsons’ every weeknight (and on Sundays). Viewers still love to watch it ’cause these people never age??? (Geesh, Bart would be my age if he actually aged!)
Oh yeah, there’s always Depeche Mode,too! 22 years in the business…and still at it! (And these guys went through hell in their 30s, but got through it–if they can do it, so can a bunch of us 20-somethings dreading the big three-o.
once again I’m impressed at the depth of your writing, and the ability to express what all of us, more or less, are feeling these days.
My best friend from middle and high school is getting divorced. Bloody divorced, man. Divorce is something that happens to older people, to adults, who can handle the pressure, who wimp out and take the easy way out…. or at least, that’s what it used to be. Now it’s a fact of life, and when I think of how close I have come to that too, it’s scary. Mortgage, job, baby, BABY, me for crying out loud with a daughter who is just barely walking and throwing food on the ground when she eats.
gee whiz. thanks for the post, Wil.
I found turning 31 to a bigger deal than turning 30. I suppose it just drove home that I was now firmly on my way to middle age. Strangely, the thought of turning 32 this year isn’t a big deal at all.
Dude, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been dealing with the same kind of thing. Well, except different. I’m turning 28 this year. Got my high school reunion notice. I have none of the things you have and that’s depressed me. I’m not married, no kids, no house (I rent an apartment) – none of that. Getting older sucks. It really does. Things you talked about missing, I do too. Is it me, or do those things seem like a completely different lifetime?
Dude, be thankful that you have friends from back then you can still count as friends and not as people you have grown away from. That makes times like this even more difficult. I’m 32, and I am very far from any of my family and friends, or the people I grew up around. I’ve been through the “quarter life crisis”, as have many of my former acquaintances. This was also exacerbated by my divorce, which was bad. I dealt with it all by remembering who I was, by getting in touch with the crazy sonofabitch that used to run through the streets protesting war, greed, and pretty much the powers that be. I forgot who I was and became a shell of myself, all just to be a “productive member of society” so I could support my family. Now I exist not as a drone that exists to work, but as a vital human being that thrives in spite of society. That helped me, but I’m afraid that for someone who is happy with where their life has ended up you’ll just have to face the fact that all things change and that we can let them change us, resist change to the point of stagnation, or find a way to positively affect the changes in our world. Easier said than done, but it is worth trying. Remember this: your youth was not wasted if you learned from every stupid mistake and every glorious victory. Reflect on it, but don’t spend too much time there, because let’s face it, we were all idiots when we were kids. I don’t want to be 17 again. I appreciate the freedoms of being an adult, even with the responsibilities. One final thought: your body ages, but that doesn’t mean your mind has to grow old. Besides, they’re doing some great stuff with cloning and genetics, so if we’re lucky we can be “young” forever. 🙂
I totally understand where you are coming from. I recently went to a friends house on the street I grew up and we got bored so we decided to take a walk. Worst mistake ever. We began walking and all of my childhood memories came rushing back to me and I felt so lost. The same street where I knew we would make ruts in the pavement walking to and from eachothers homes was now unfamiliar territory. The times when you planned how your life would be and now looking and realizing that you have not acheieved all that you had wanted to by this age. I can say that my age has taught me many things but I would give anything to be a kid again just for a day. Remember the movie “Big” The would be the ultimate wish. And just as he did Im sure that we would miss our lives the way the are now even though childhood was a blast.
Before I start, Happy birthday for Friday Amanda.
I have two quotes which I believe, should cheer any 30 (or near as dammit to 30)-somethings:
I quote from the excellent movie “Caddyshack”
Allthough you may grin, when your ship comes in and you’ve got the stock market beat, but remember;
That the man worthwhile is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat!
I quote my best friend Krissy:
We may grow older, but we BLATANTLY refuse to grow up!
I hope that cheers folk up.
*hugs* As painful as the nostalgia can be, it’s nice to go back to the “carefree” days of childhood. Just use it as a lesson to appreciate everyday of your life. I think it’s the things we see happening around us that make us feel old. I’m 22 and most of my high school friends are married with children now. I look at it and think how old I feel, but then I realize… I’m still young. And I still will be when I’m 80. Getting older is a requirement in life… grow up is not.
I just turned 30 in December. I’m married (one year in a couple of weeks, woohoo!) with a mortgage, three year-old son and another baby on the way. It seems only natural to start looking back. I don’t think you really have the perspective to start thinking about the past until you’re around this age.
The thing that I miss the most is my early-mid 20’s when I was single and living in Manhattan. Everything seemed so full of possibilities. I think back on the choices I’ve made and wonder if things had been different if I had taken more risks. It’s amazing how you make some choices that end up having a major affect on the course that your life is taking, but you don’t realize it at the time.
At first, this can be very depressing, but then you start thinking about the things that you can change and take joy in, like the growth and education (I’m talking about life education, not just schooling) of your own kids. I think somebody else’s post about being a doctor or a garbage man was great. It’s the worst thing in the world to feel like your options are limited because of the views of your parents or others that have influence on you. I’m making a point not to be that way with my kids.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re not the only one feeling this way. It’s great to look back and miss those things. I think it’s something you don’t want to ever lose. It’s also great to look at how you can use those experiences to change the lives of others, especially the ones on whom you have the most direct influence.
Rock on.
I just rounded the 30 corner a month and a half ago and this new local station e105 which plays a lot of “80’s music” has certainly struck my nostalgia chord.
I go to bed around 10:30 or 11 every night now instead of the 4am times after playing some role playing and cheesing for a night.
I have a beautiful baby daughter who I wouldn’t trade the world for; but me, a father?
I remember drinking beer — and lots of it — almost every Friday night while seeing some great live local music. I now feel drunk if I crack a cold one open once every couple of months.
I remember being 15 and watching this new series on TV called Star Trek: The Next Generation and feeling pretty good that there was someone my age represented on TV that gave intelligent teenagers a good name.
Well, that one didn’t last long. The writers made it embarrassing for someone my age to suggest to an authority figure that any problem could be solved by soldering a VISOR to an android’s positronic net and cross fading the output through the pattern buffers. Shit. That must have been when I aged.
30 isn’t so bad. I have the best ‘Net access I have EVER had in my life..
-J
wil:
i’ve been hanging around your website for several months now. this is the first time i’ve been moved to find the courage to post a comment.
i’m approaching 30 myself this year and, like many of your readers have already expressed, it’s an overwhelming feeling. i’ve found myself wistfully looking back on my younger days much more often lately. wondering where the time has flown and marveling at how far i’ve come in those tumultuous years.
i, too have been caught up in those emotional whirlwinds – where you’re suddenly and inexplicably overcome by so many feelings, and you find yourself silently weeping and smiling at the same time. breathtaken by the strength of the memory and left wondering where that “you” has gone and what’s become of that life….
then, i reflect on all that i have accomplished since then. who i’ve become, and the blessings i’ve been given. it’s all part of the journey. i’m not happy about turning 30. but, i’m convincing myself that, like everything in life – you get out of it what you put into it. i think i’ll make it a new beginning.
hope you’ll find the same.
So I hate to sound like I’m plugging something, but…
As I’m sure some of you know, there is a movie entitled “Free Enterprise.” It is perhaps one of the most entertaining movies I’ve ever seen. More importantly, it is completely about geeks growing up, and hitting the big 30. Now admittedly it’s a comedy, but I found it entertaining and comforting to see others going through the same nostlgia with their friends that I do with mine.
Anyway, I highly recomend it for a week night rental.
Jer
I’m turning 20 in August and I wish I could go back to highschool. 🙁 Well I assume life gets better.
That has got to suck. Nostalgia seems to have biten alot of people recently. Myself included. I’ve been thinking about the eighties and ninties
for past month. It gets weirder the more I think about it. People I watched growing up, are now grown up. Kids that I saw, are now teens. The houses I used to live in, are freakishly still the same. A stupid Richard Gere movie, is still just as stupid and horrible. I’m kind of glad that I’ve grown up. Kids today, have to put up with more crap than I did when I was young.And their more weary than I was when I was their age.
Remember, when you turn 30, you better do it right. Major party. That’s the only way to start another year.