I am officially a total geek right now.
I am listening to the Batman soundtrack (the Danny Elfman score, not that Prince monstrosity) on my PC speakers while I type this.
I think it’s appropriate, because I’m writing this morning about those really awesome days of youth, when nobody understands you, your parents are completely unreasonable, and you can’t wait to grow up.
During those days in my life, the Batman score competed with Black Celebration and Only a Lad for air time in my car. It was part of the soundtrack of my life.
Last night, I was watching the History Channel, and this commercial for some 80s super box set comes on. It’s pretty standard for an 80s collection: there’s Foreigner and Journey, as well as some Crowded House and Howard Jones (yeah, I thought that was a weird mix, too.)
While I’m watching this commercial, I start to feel this completely overwhelming sadness. This type of massive sadness that starts so deeply within me, I can’t even define its origin in a physical location. It was sadness coming out of my soul. I get this feeling that I can only describe as “hyper-nostalgia.”
So I’m sitting there in bed, my cat snuggled up to me on one side, my wife sound asleep on the other side, and I start to silently weep, as this David Fincheresque montage of childhood images and feelings races through my mind. I can feel my fear and nervousness the first morning I went to public high school in 9th grade. I can feel the excitement of standing in line to see Batman, in Westwood, at 9AM a few weeks before it opened. I see faces of friends long forgotten, and places which were teenage hangouts that don’t even exist anymore. I feel pain, love, hope…but mostly, I feel sadness and regret that is completely overwhelming.
It’s like I’m sitting in my bed, mourning the passing of my youth.
It’s not that my life is totally miserable now, it’s just so much more complicated than it was when I was a child, and I haven’t really stopped to think about that in quite some time.
I mean, I would gladly trade wondering whatever bullshit my wife’s ex-husband is going to pull today for not being able to stay out past 12 with my friends.
I would gleefully trade worrying about making mortgage payments for…well, for anything, really! 🙂
Every time I go to Paramount, I look around and I think to myself, “man, I had it so good here. Too bad I was too young and arrogant to realize that.” But that could be a series of entries, all on it’s own.
When I go up to my parent’s house, and go to my old bedroom, I can see in my mind the phantoms of my teenage years: Watchmen comics bagged and hung on the walls. Depeche Mode concert posters above my bed, where my cat Ziggy would be sleeping. Stacks of GURPS source books on the floor, and, of course, my Mac II, complete with smokin’ fast 2400 baud modem.
I miss all of these things, and writing about them now I can really feel a sense of loss, and longing. I just closed my eyes, and I could see things in my old bedroom that I haven’t thought about in years: 82 Los Angeles Kings season ticket stubs from 1988-89, taped to the wall next to my computer, underneath this simply dreadful fantasy-art poster I bought at a game con that same year. A clump of silly string mashed into the cottage cheese stuff on the ceiling, above my bed. Five book shelves, filled with VHS copies of the entire collection of 79 episodes of Star Trek.
I recently visited one of my best friends from high school, who moved into his mom and dad’s house when they moved out. It’s the same house we hung out in when we were young, but now his kids are running around in it…and I can still see the path we wore through the ivy, going up the hill to my house. The house is the same, but it’s so very, very different now.
My best friend Darin is getting married in just a few weeks. Darin and I have known each other since I was 14 and he was 16. We have done just about everything together, and crossed lots of major bridges together on our way to adulthood. I’ve been married with kids for 2 years, but never felt like it was that big a deal…it’s HIM getting married that makes me feel like we’re finally adults, with mortgages and responsibilities. When he is married, we will have crossed another major rubicon together.
So when I saw this commercial last night, it hit me: I’m turning 30 in 3 months.
Three months, man.
I am the primary father figure to two kids, one of whom will be a teenager two days after I turn 30.
A teenager, man.
I am going to be the parent to a teenager, and I’m going to be 30. I don’t know why that’s fucking with me as much as it is, but it sure is burning a lot of cycles in my brain.
Thing is, I know that I’ll be 40 someday, and I’ll look back and think, “Man, I thought things were so messed up at 30…and I was so wrong,” as I watch Ryan graduate from college, or get married, or whatever.
But right now, I miss those wonderful days in the late 80s and early 90s, when I couldn’t wait for the weekend, so I could hang out at Darin’s house and play GURPS and Illuminatti, before heading out to the movies to catch whatever crappy Lethal Weapon movie was in theatres.
I totally understand that saying about youth being wasted on the young. I guess that’s the beauty of childhood: we don’t know how tough life is going to get when we grow up, so we cavalierly waste time, blissfully ignorant of how valuable our youth is going to be to us, late one night when we can’t sleep, because we’re thinking about paying bills.
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“..everything is beautiful in its own way…
la la la
Ebay is GREAT for nostalgia..(HOWEVER its spelled
…there has been different versions in this
thread.)..keeps all the money in the “flow”..and
keeps THOSE memories like yesterday.
Like someone said “everyone gets old.” ITS OKAY!
Hey Spuds:
In Portland, Hey? Me too…go out, take a break, the weather is gorgeous today.
LK
32 ain’t any better.
However, you do have the benefit of wisdom and more power, or rather more influence, since people take a 30 year old more seriously than a 20 year old.
I dread aging mainly because of the inevitable death that comes. I would live forever given the chance…or at least a really, really long time.
Oh, and the mortgage payments suck hairy monkey ass too. 🙂
Wil, all I can say that the hypernostalgia feeling you’ve described is (must be) one of the universal human experiences… Just take a look at how many of us are going through it, including myself. I mean I’m 26 going on 27, married and my husband and I just bought our first house, which was such a dream of ours… And so we’re hit with the responsibilities and the bills. But I am looking forward to it all – this is what life is about. We’re all lucky that prospectively we can look forward to 70 or more years on this earth, which is a lot more than our grandparents expected. And so we are all growing up and struggling to accept it as part of life. It is one of many tasks to come.
I don’t wanna die.
Then learn to spell.
TWO tines, or two times?
Well, Uncle Willie, all I can tell you is that it’s not any easier in your late 30’s! I’m 37 (and will be 38 on August 7th) and I can tell you that I can recall with all too much clarity, not only experiences, but conversations of my youth. My teen years were fun, though like most every other teenager, awkward – and sometimes painful.
My greatest reflections come from the years ’82 thru ’86 – right after highschool up to the year after I turned “LEGAL”. I’d give a lot to have fun like that again – working in record and book stores and not caring that I made very little money because I was happy and having FUN.
Not that I want to be another that quotes a song for his nostalgia, but I am and unable to escape the truth, so here I go (again on my own)….
After the fire, the fire still burns
The heart grows older, but never-ever learns
The memories smolder and the soul always yearns
After the fire, the fire still burns
The fire can be the final twinges of your youth slipping away. It can be the passionate wonder that you once applied to almost everything. It can be the way you feel when you reflect upon times you’re glad to have been a part of. Whatever the fire is to you, Wil, I truly hope you never lose the feeling of the burning. We’re old before we realize or understand that there are stages to life that need to be lived to the fullest. We don’t need to feel pain when the fire burns, just learn from it and allow it the proper recognition of what it means and how it shaped our lives.
Enjoy your memories, Wil. Hopefully you’ll have them forever and not lose them to some disease or affliction. Bask in the beauty of your memories, as they’re your personal history!
Kind regards,
Jerry
What I meant was, I am so glad I am not THE ONLY ONE feeling this way. The posse has spoken: hypernostalgia exists.
Three words to this entry Wil: AMEN TO THAT !!!!!!!
Spudnuts: I’m with you on that Lucas stuff. But, to his credit, he hit upon the power of Myth. Not ‘myth’ as in magazine headlines like ‘Hair gel as Contraceptive: The Myths and Facts.’ As if ‘myth’ is supposed to be synonymous with ‘fallacy.’
All Grand Master Lucas needs to do is reread his Joseph Campbell books.
But, I digress. Who am I but a member of the movie going public?
Incidentally … I’d have saved the F-word for James Cameron or Paul Verhoeven…
dake said:
>> Then learn to spell. TWO tines, or two times?
Tines, motherfucker.
N.
Not M.
Spudnuts is in complete control of the language. If it gets posted, you better believe I put every motherfucking character, jot, and tittle there for a reason. It is not my job to translate. You need to decipher ME.
Keep up.
I don’t slow down for stragglers.
I’m 33 and instead of getting depressed about it, use it for motivation. Get with it! No more wasting time. Every moment that you spend thinking about how things suck is a moment that you never get back. Why not use those moments having fun?
Jesus Christ.
You want Chagall to point to a red blob and say “that’s a rooster?”
Sheet.
Spudnuts: Don’t worry you’ll never really die. Far in the future someone will dig up an ancient computer with these strange sound files and they too will become worshippers of the mighty Spudnuts and his glorious rants. Either that or they’ll run away screaming. *grins and ducks*
Heh, spudnuts, you’re probably a Sonics fan too… Admit it, you traitor…
I’ll turn 30 exactly 10 days after you, Wil. Single, no kids. Most of my friends are either late teens or early 20’s. Still tho, I know what you feel. I, too, have those days. Then I go out with my young friends and have some fun. Remember that….have fun. We each have our individual responsibilites, but after those, we can have fun. We’ll always long for yester-year, when times seemed simpler…long for those old friends. But, at any age, we can get out and have some fun, enjoy life for what it is.
Lakers.
And I don’t get jack shit if someone Laura Comstocks my MP3s three hundred years from now.
Hey, Future!
This is Spudnuts.
Dialing in from 2002.
Pay me, motherfuckers.
Fucking jetpack, no biodiversity-having, vitamin pill-eating freeloaders.
You forgot electric-car driving.
Will,
Wow. I know what you mean.
I’m only 26 but I get those same feelings when I see those damn commercials.
I used to hate you when I was a kid.
Probably because back then, you were on Star Trek, my favorite show, and the girl I had an overwhelming crush on, had a picture of you up on the wall in her room.
I’ve been a reader of yer site for a while now.
And what can I say.
You rock, man.
I listened to the same music, read the same stuff, played the same games as you.
Yer log today moved me.
What can I say now?
Uncle Willie ROCKS!
I came out of the movies the other day and saw all the little teeneyboppers sitting there waiting for their rides – acting like asses. Trying to get a few drags in before mom shows up.
I walked right past them to the applebee’s ordered a MUCHO Mudslide and snickered.
I don’t ever want to be a teenager again. 20 maybe but never that young.
Wil,
The posts I’ve been reading make me wonder why people don’t use more common sense in their everyday life decisions. I’ve read many of the posts and it seems that people are unhappy with their lives due to the decisions they have made. For instance, people are complaining about not having enough money and what they are going to do about taking care of their kids. Well, why did they not think about the costs of having children before they went ahead and had some? Why not be smart and build wealth and financial independence before jumping into something as big as having kids, or buying a house or new car? Be smart about decisions, think them through, create a plan and strategy then go for it. I’m only 26 and my wife and don’t rush into the big things in life. We made sure we could afford a nice house, cars and other stuff before we went out and bought them. That way, there are very few surprises; you know you can make your mortgage and car payment, have money for vacations and the things you want and invest as much as you can for retirement. Sure, stuff comes up but, you have to put money aside and build up your personal war-chest so that one day you can become immune from whatever the government or individuals throw at you. I’ve lead a nice life so far and I’m blessed. But I wake up scared every morning. It keeps me on my toes and allows me not to take my success for granted. I have a high-pressure job. I know I’m not in the best physical shape due to the fact that I work a lot. But I’m better prepared for things that will come along and every day we get closer to the day when we really won’t have to worry (financial independence and retirement). I love the site. Keep up the good work.
SpudNUTS…have you thought about therapy or
tranquilizers?
You sound more angry than normally angry.
Nostalgia DOES have its place in the world.
Dammit you can’t go forward with out knowing
WHERE it was you once came FROM!
I’ll be turning 30 in about 2 weeks…so i totally know what you mean….
but it aint all bad wil…
like you i have a fantastic wife, and i’m in the profession i love (art director)…
as for the nostalgia….it get’s all of us at one time or another….
‘As i get older, i seem to realize, that all the good intentions don’t match up to all the lies
and i question all around me for the sake of seeming wise
as i get older i don’t get quite so phased, by people clenchin fists in anger, pardon me while i count the ways
how this stench i’m getting used to seems to grow seems to say
what happened to the good times
what’s so good about today
innocence abandoned me, cuz ive been miles away
as i get older i always will pretend
that everything is new to me, but that fact is that i’m dead
to all of life’s surprizes, they’re re-runs to me instead
now that i’m older one thing is still unsure
if i’m so desensitized why can’t i find a cure
and forget that once you’re born
just like the snow you can’t stay pure…
what happened to the good times
what’s so good about today
innocence abandoned me
cuz i’ve been miles away
_______________
cheers wil…
Wil, I feel for you. I’ll be turning 32 in September. About two weeks ago I heard an Iron Maiden song on the radio which just about fused all my synapses together, because I no longer bear even a superficial resemblence to the teenager who had 10, sleeveless, black T-shirts with a dead guy silkscreened on them!
For what it’s worth, here’re my thoughts on being 30+:
Don’t romanticize your youth too much! When you were a teenager a lot of things that you can shrug off now hurt deeply and bitterly. Hell…I was miserable for a good portion of my teen-age years. I’m glad that I’ll never be that miserable and uncertain ever again!
Don’t think that 30 is some magical age that opens the doors to some secret chamber wherein the secrets of the adult universe are revealed. They aren’t. I remember how clueless and confused my parents were, yet they always tried to pretend they spoke with absolute authority. I’ve learned not to do that. Don’t be afraid to say “Hang on…I’m trying to figure this out.”
There’s no reason you can’t keep gaming. I do…it helps keep me sane(ish). ^_^
“Remember…no matter where you go, there you are.”
Thanks for the great site. & hang in there.
how sad
now what song is that?
I lost my 25 year old wife three months ago from, of all things, a kidney stone. I’m 28, soon to be 29 and I feel the same way you do Will. We owned 2 houses (we rented one, not rich by a long shot), had a dog and a cat and basically had life by the horns. Then it all came crashing down. Our dog dies of kidney problems and then my wife shortly after from a kidney stone…just me and the cat now, alone. It’s tough at times and you want to go back to the old times, the good times.
But I have to think that there will be good times ahead. New memories that I’ll make and old ones I’ll never forget.
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
HI Wil…..it’s so strange that you would write down what i am feeling…last night all i could think about was my past, old friends, people places…..i turned 30 today, it is interesting for me to think about where i thought i’d be and where i am now….all in all…i’d give myself a couple of days to get over the shock of saying…i’m 30 now 🙂
You know, I waited to get married until I was 30 (thank God, who knows who I would’ve been with if I hadn’t!) and I’m know 33 with my first little guy just hitting 9 months old. And y’know what, even though I have the mortgage, the day job, and still dream of writing/acting in something more than community theatre, I’M STILL THAT KID!!! My wife still let’s me buy Comic Book’s, and even read them herself. I still look forward to Disney movies, and the latest sci-fi blockbuster. And while I no longer play my RPG’s (who has time???) I get to play with Little People with my son, and look forward to appreciating his toys as well!
As long as we let the joyous parts of our childhood remain, the challenges of adulthood are far less threatening!
hey wil
look you are so sexy, man i am still 19 and i want to back to when i was 12 and be hyper and crazy that was the shit. but hey you are really awesome my b-day is in july and im getting the 20’s blues. how did i get so old, ok wil this is not helping any sorry didnt mean to say that. youre still the cutiest pimp daddy in the world and wouldnt change it for the world. hey did you read my post of soapbox “why i think wil wheaton is cute” it might make you feel better. hey dont tell me you were that colin dude everybody is talking about 🙂 well anyway take care buddy me and toonces think you are still and will be a hot babe
Gurps? Seriously, Wil, I thought you were a better geek than that. I mean where’s the fun in 3d6 for everything?
It’s discrimination, that’s what it is! Think of the poor bastardized dice out there, living on the street, just trying to scrape enough money together to buy some cheap hooch or a line of coke to forget their troubles. You gamers out there, listen up. These Dice need your help.
Roll up a barbarian. Swing a great axe. Play Morton’s List. Do your part to save a young polyhedron.
Brought to you by the Society for Outcast Random Number Generators.
I, too, am on the expressway to age 30. Though no spouse or children are in my picture, I also find myself reckoning with Time about what I uphold in my life. And even with all this nostalgia and contemplation looming over me like some comic book villain, I can’t help but think that I’ve been very lucky and that hitting the mother of all milestones will only propel me to savor the tasty bits of life even more.
Now, I know this is a “female” poem, but it’s too much fun not to post right here, right now, on this thread. (Although, with 230 plus other posts ahead of me, I can’t really see anyone reading *all* the way down here.)
Warning, by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
I don’t know when I read so much maudlin nonsense. Turning 30 should be a cause for celebration! You’ve collectively been there and done that and you don’t have to go through all that bullshit again. The point is that while you may have legally become an adult at 18, its the next 12 years that marks your ascendancy as you absorb your education though trial and error and start to display your creative prowess.
Now is the time to show the world that you are here to stay!
John McGregor
I digz them Spudnuts rants.
Holy fuck Wil, you lived *my* life! I always thought this was a cool website just like ones my friends would make (albeit a tad more professional looking 😉 but it never really hit me that your childhood/adolescence would turn out to be virtually identical to mine. Amazing man.
Lucas? Don’t get me started.
I had the misfortune of being somewhere once when someone tried to tell me that I – being 30 years old this year (and celebrating by hiring an inflatable jumping castle for all my ‘grownup’ friends to bounce with reckless drug-addled abandon on thank you very much) – am part of the STAR WARS GENERATION.
Fuck that shit.
Sure, I was sitting in the front seat of my parents’ chocolate-brown Toyota station wagon at the drive-in in March 1978 staring up at the pretty lady and the robots, stuffing popcorn into my six-year-old mouth and drooling.
In 1980 I was confused as to why Yoda sounded like Fozzie Bear.
In 1983 I remember ducking as the Millenium Falcon entered the second Death Star (and by the way, if your first ultimate weapon was destroyed by a spaceship flying into it and dropping a payload, wouldn’t you make sure that the second one had vents that were too small for a spaceship to fit in? Just asking. Because the Falcon is waaay bigger than an X-wing, so to me it looks like they made the god-damn vents BIGGER or something. Way to conquer the universe, guys).
But I also remember other stuff, totally unrelated to Star Wars.
Like Caravan of Courage.
No, Wait.
I meant to say Raiders of the Lost Ark.
And I RESENT being generationally pigeonholed into a movie trilogy just because of a large number of gut-dangling geeks and their fear of death.
Resent it wholeheartedly.
Hey, does anyone remember Lucas’ cameo in Beverly Hills Cop III? It’s a classic.
See, Axel Foley has to rescue the cute kids trapped at the top of some amusement park ride, right? So he pushes in line at the ferris wheel, shoving aside the couple who are at the front.
Guess who’s at the front.
Go on, guess.
No, I’ll tell you.
Lucas.
George Lucas.
And his wife.
And Lucas says, “Hey!”.
That’s his line.
And he blows it.
Totally unconvincing.
Not convinced at all.
An unconvincing “Hey!”
No real anger.
He even looks straight at the camera.
And turns to walk off before he’s finished the line, because that’s his cue.
Say “Hey” and walk away.
But he can’t do it convincingly.
Not even with Joseph Cambpell coaching him could he do it convincingly.
And that bright yellow sweater?
Ugh.
What a geek.
Now Star Trek – THERE’S a show.
Sign me up for the STAR TREK GENERATION.
Or the one after that.
The… you can see this coming, can’t you?
The NEXT Generation.
Heh.
Geez, that whole entry makes me want to cry.
I am 28yrs old, have a 4 month old son and only last night caught myself thinking….”holy crap, I have a son! One day he’s going to be 14 and saying he wishes I were dead and he was never born….but right now I can look at him and he smiles at me like I am the greatest thing in the world.”
Getting older maybe isn’t quite so bad. It’s not the long weekends spent at the beach, frying, trying to catch some far-older & cooler surfing-dudes eye, while you adjust your brand new bikini…but those little smiley moments at 3am with my son….to me they are far more important..who cares about mortgages or unemployment or the fact that my gas heater is going to blow my house up any second?
Besides, apart from the beach thing, my youth REALLY sucked…I don’t much miss it at all.
I am SO with you, Wil.
I have only been married for 1.5 years, no kids, turning 29 next month.
Your post made me cry because I wasn’t able to put my melancholy in to words until you did.
I wish I had done more when I had the freedom, and miss the times when things were easier.
I know we’re not that old, I think this one hits harder because it’s the first realization that there’s no more birthdays to really look forward to, no more positive age-related milestones.
Yeesh. Hope this gets easier..
Ah yes, I remember MY thirties, Of course, MY thirties were somewhat well documented in at least 79 episodes…And then there was that whole T.J. Hooker thing…I apologize for that.
Take care Wil.
WFS
Peace
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
Wil,
Ironically, the very fact that I stummbled upon your site is a symptom of my own little nostalgia trip. This year I have been searching out the icons of my youth (you happened to be one of them) and trying to put it all into perspective.
I am lucky enough to maintain friendships with people that I have known since the age of two. This year it seems like everytime I see them we end up talking about the old days… Every statement would begin with, “Remember the time…” and end with, “Can you believe we ever got away with that shit…”
What I began to realise was that my largest sense of loss came from the conviction that I had not lived up to my own crazy/youthful standards. Looking back I was remembering all the wild daring things I used to do and I had begun to think my life now was boring by comparison. But, when I really think about it I am still doing really neat things that not many people get to do and I have so many great friends to enjoy my time with. I have realised that my fear of being mediocre is unfounded. I guess I have just grown and my idea of wild and crazy has grown with me. Though I must say that I do miss being able to revel in the mud slide we used to make down the cliff by the river when I was about ten. You know, I think I just might go and check it out…
*Sob*
I shouldn’t add to all the “I know exactly how you feel”s, but I can’t help it.
It hurts, man
I am 29 since this March- Married for 4 years this July but I have been with im a total of 7 years, I have Two kids- one of which is from an ex-husbend who does nothing to make my life hell-which ages me more- I am not as yet lucky enough to have a mortgage we have to pay rent for a bit longer. My oldest is 9 (10 this Oct) and it never seems to amaze me how fast she is growing. I have seen those Commercials that are those compilation albums- and All I want to do is order them not so I can torture my self of my youth and good it was but they actually remind me of some of the goals I had and have yet to fulfill.
Time moves on and we get older- but it’s how we use our time Now that is important.
We think things will be great when we get older- then we get older and think Man why didn’t we enjoy our youth when we were younger.
What’s important is how you use your time now- Are you doing what you wanted? All I can say is Baby I am half way there, I had few bumps in the road but I am back on track.
Love- Peace- and Happiness-
Life is too short to have Regrets-
this, while incredibly depressing, at the same time makes me so much more adamant to continue to live as i please forever … all this ‘growing up’ bullshit can be left to people who actually want to do it …
sure, i work, i have bills to pay, and all that shit, but i make sure that they sit in the background as things that may have to be done, but dont get in the way of me doing whatever i find most enjoyable with my time … the only way you are ever going to think that you have ever ‘wasted your life’ is if you are somehow mistakenly made to believe that there are better things to do than whatever YOU WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW …
and while society may do its best to impress this upon you … you have to RESIST this thinking … dont listen to all this ‘you have to endure sometimes’ and ‘thats life’ garbage … all those people are just blaming their own lack of perogative on others, make your life whatever you want it to be … the secret is not to give a shit what anyone elses thinks of what you are doing, just so long as you are doing what you wanna do …
at any rate, thanks for the wake up call … its all too easy to slip into the set ‘business’ lifestyle … the type of life that makes you look back in 10 years and wonder where the time went … live for the now, not for the ‘what might happen’ …
hey wil,
hey cutie it’s good to cry every now and then believe me i have had my share of cries to especially me who is getting the 20’s blues because i be turning 20 this july so it’s a bummer
i wish i could relive my childhood to myself wasnt it the best just to feel like a kid again.
but you know something wil you are a great guy and you still have your inner child within you dont forget about it every now and then it needs to come out to or else we’d go crazy……crazy.. i went crazy… i went crazy once…they threw me six feet under….the worms ate my brains …..i went crazy..crazy…and then they locked me in a rubber room but that’s a whole different other story to tell. hey i wrote something on the top 10 reasons why i think you are so cute check it out unless you did and you are that colin guy everybody says you are. id be kicking my ass right now 🙂
Guess I was lucky that my family chose not to let me get too depressed on my 30th birthday. They sent me 30 cards all telling me I was old. The funny thing is that it wasn’t until I saw one of those f’ing TV ads about the 80s CD that I realized that I was now old enough for the music that I listened to in high school to be considered oldies and compilation material. My answer was to get really smashed and buy one of those CDs just to burn the son-of -a bitch. By the way, has anyone seen that last bottle of vodka?