Yesterday morning, I had to run some errands. I had to go to the bank, put some bills in the mail, and stuff.
Ryan was working in the Snack Shack at the little league field, so I asked Nolan if he wanted to come with me.
Nolan never wants to come with me, because he’s the kind of kid who’d rather hang at home and watch TV or play PS2, or do just about anything except ride in the car.
But I ask him each time, because I really do enjoy his company, and there’s always a chance he could say yes.
Yesterday, he said yes. I think it had something to do with the fact that I have a new car (turned in my Passat for a Golf since my lease was up) and I suggested that I may be stopping at 7-11 for a slurpee on the way home.
Hey, a little bribe never hurt anyone.
Well, that’s not even remotely true, but the point is, he agreed. 🙂
I was surprised, but happy, and we headed out to do our errands.
We had a great time, listening to Cake and Save Ferris, Nolan asking me all the technical specs of the new car, recalling drives we had in the old car, and talking about the coming summer vacation.
The bank I go to has this new security thingy, where they make you walk through this chamber where both doors must close before you can get in or out.
Nolan wants to go through by himself, but I told him that I wanted to go through together to save time. He agreed too quickly, and I could tell that he was scheming.
So we conduct our business in the bank, and as we’re getting ready to leave, Nolan races ahed of me, and into the exit chamber. He lets the door close in my face, and crosses to the outer door, which he opens, and then holds open, pointing and giggling at me, because now I can’t get out.
I laughed with him, and told him to close the door, so he lets it go, but catches it with his foot, so it’s held open about 3 inches. He continues to giggle and point, and finally lets the door close.
We hit the post office, got our slurpees, and headed home. I went to an ACME workshop while he stayed with Anne and Ryan and played in the pool next door.
When I got home, we barbecued turkey burgers and went for a walk all around our neighborhood, the 4 of us laughing about all sorts of things, chasing each other, and enjoying the beginning of summer. When we got home, Anne took out the hose to water the lawn, and we stayed out front with her, watching Ferris jump through the water and tear around the yard.
When Anne was nearly done, the kids decided to limbo under the stream of water, which of course led to the 4 of us having a massive water fight at 9PM last night.
I can’t remember the last time we had a day in this family where we just played, and enjoyed each other, and felt free of the burdens that have hung over us for nearly 3 years. Let me tell you, we needed it. Things have been extremely tough for Nolan and Ryan, Nolan especially, with their father the last couple of months. He often puts his interests ahead of theirs, with really upsetting results for the boys. It’s been killing me to see these two little people, who I love so dearly, be constantly hurt by someone who they love. Not being able to really do anything about it sucks, too. They’ve both been really unhappy, Nolan especially, and seeing them both giggle and play and laugh and just relax for a whole day was really wonderful.
We ended the night eating ice cream and sitting on the living room floor listening to the radio.
When I put the kids into bed, I said to Nolan, “I really had fun with you today. I really enjoyed your company.”
He lifted his head off his pillow and replied, “Me too, Wil. I want to spend LOTS of time together this summer.”
I hope they’re all days like yesterday.
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Dude,
You’re living the sweet life. You’re living the dream.
Good luck raising the kids, Mr. Wheaton, hopefully the whole thing with their dad will work out.
Actually, I can see Fallulah’s point. As a child of divorce myself and an often absent mom, I know everytime anyone ever said something bad about one of my parents, even someone I loved and who meant the best for me, it hurt.
For selfish reasons, I’m glad it was said. But it’s not my life.
Days like your Saturday helps me to remember the good times I have with my family and appreciate how much they (especially my dad) mean to me. Thanks, Wil. Happy Father’s Day to you, and to all the fathers. 🙂
D’AWWW. Its days like that, that make life worth living.
*grin*
Glad ya hade a nice time Wil:) I have to go to school this summer:(
Wow. Cool day.
Cool days are fun, I like em. I live them sometimes too.
As far as the kids go, it all depends on the kids, I guess.
Honestly, if their dad stops paying attention to them, they’ll lose interest.
Here’s an example.
I, like so many others who posted, am a child (of 2)of parents who are divorced.
I was 12 at the time, but a young 12. I think I was protected a bit.
Anyways, after the divorce, everything seemed fine. Biodad came over every week, had dinner in our new home (he made my mom move from the old place) and we’d visit every weekend.
Then…he got a steady GF whom he later married.
So the weekly visits to our home stopped.
The weekend visits at his place slowed to once every 2 weeks. Then one child every 2 weeks (me then my sis).
Down to one child a month.
A little while later, both of us, on special occasions.
Soon after it was both of us on special occasions at another family members place.
Then it was a phone call on special occasions.
All this took place over the course of 3 or 4 years. That’s a pretty short time to destroy a relationship, but he managed to do it quite well. I remember, it was my 16th birthday, I was having some cake and had already opened up my presents.
The phone rang, and my mom picked it up, soon handing it off to me.
Mom “It’s for you”
Me “who is it?”
Mom “It’s your father.”
Me “I don’t want to talk to him”
Mom “, it’s your father. Talk to him”
Me “No, I have no interest in speaking to someone who talks to me on holidays”
Mom “, talk to him, now.”
Me “No.”
My mother was really mad at the fact that I wouldn’t talk to him, and from that point on, I didn’t.
A few years later, after I moved out, he found my email address and emailed me twice, which I deleted.
Then he called me a few years later, inviting me out to x-mas dinner with him, his wife, and my step brother, whom I don’t know.
I told him that I wasn’t sure of my plan, and that I would call him if I had the time.
I haven’t spoken to him since, and have been a much happier person since I got him out of my every day life.
The kids seem pretty smart.
They know when they’re being mistreated, despite what others may think.
If it’s as bad as that, they’ll stand up.
Support them in their decision, no matter which way they decide to go.
dat’s it.
awwww!!! that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
Wil, I remember my days with my “step kids”
now all grown up with kids of there own…
enjoy the moment.
I just wanted to say that this post was awe inspiring.
I too have had a biological father who just didn’t know how to be a dad. He left before I was even born, and coz my mum painted such a wonderful picture of him, at the age of 19 I decided to look for him, only to find a man who is in self denial, claiming he didn’t know blah, blah, blah. To cut a long story short in those 19 years he hadn’t changed one bit, he was still the same irresponsible, selfish, and sad coward that he always was.
I guess one thing I learnt from him is that it is easy to father a child, far too easy, but it is an achievement by far to be a loving father.
I always admired you from afar, and thought you are kindred spirit, and everyday I go to this site I realise how you are so much more.
Happy Father’s Day Wil,
to a man who already knows the true meaning of the word Dad.
Ready! 1,2,3
“Awwwwwwwwww”
Wil, that’s really great. More parents should make the time to be part of their children’s lives. If all parents would do that, maybe incidents like Colombine would never have happened.
Keep it up!
Wil: Great story, man, keep it up!
Vikki: Also a great story! Best of luck with your step-daughter! She sounds like a great kid.
Tallulah: I have to agree. Wil, you definitely might want to consider not saying anything negative about the boys father.
Being from a broken marriage myself, I know it hurt when my MOM would say something bad about my dad…
You don’t even want to be in a situation where one of them turns on you in anger and says, “You’re not my real dad, so f*** off!”
It sounds like you have a pretty special relationship with the boys. I hope they appreciate it, as you obviously do.
Belated Happy Father’s Day, dude.
Hey Wil,
Sort of a personal question. Wondering if your parents got along all that well. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your folks — you are mentioning your mom in jest every once in awhile, though I don’t know too much about how you get along with your dad.
It’s tough for me and my fiancee’ to sort things out, because we both have divorced parents that weren’t exactly the best roll models for us, but have tried to take the best from both sides.
It sounds like you are doing great in a rough situation..
Chris
One other thought for you Wil. I have a 95 VW Golf right now and I love it, fuel efficient and cool looking. Passat’s are high end and typically more expensive to maintain.
However, my next car is probably going to be an HEV (Hybrid Electric Vehicle) such as the Honda Insight or the Toyota Camary. Not only do these babies get incredible gas mileage (up to 70mpg!) they also will reduce our dependence on foreign oil..something I think you could appreciate.
When your lease is up, check out HEVs that are available..a lot more are coming out in 2004.
Chris
Wil,
One other question, since you brought them up…
I just recently was given a copy of Cake’s “Fashion Nugget” and I love it!
Do their other albums sound like that one? They have this great, funky sound and would like to hear more of it.
Any recommendations?
Sounds like a perfect day!
Didn’t realize you’re a VW driver. Go get’em!
“…put some bills in the mail…”
What is a self-confessed geek like you doing with snail mail? Why aren’t you electronic banking by now?
Sounds amazing!
Reminds me of the times I spent with my family, cruising down the river Shannon, basking in the not so typical Irish weather we had. Although it has to be said, some of my fondest childhood memories involve sheltering from the rain. Family life was far from perfect, but it’s little moments like those that remind me to appreciate all I have now. Well, that’s cheered me right up. I’m not going to let 2 more exams get me down… have a lovely day!
Wil,
You gotta checkout the forums on http://www.vwvortex.com
or
http://forums.vwvortex.com
Pat “The Bastard” Mastroiani approves
I just bought a Golf GLS and there is alot of information on this site.
That made me smile. And I really needed to smile right about now so Thank you 🙂
I hope the rest of your summer goes like this one. Your kids sound wonderful.
That made me smile. And I really needed to smile right about now so Thank you 🙂
I hope the rest of your summer goes like this one. Your kids sound wonderful.
I am such a dork I posted my last post twice. Sorry.
I HAVE to agree with all the other posts…
From the female point of view..My son’s biodad
abandoned him after our divorce..he also did the
same to the kids he had with his next wife after the second divorce…BUT he is a VIETNAM VET
whose twin brother was killed there. So even
after all the bull my son and I went thru I
ALWAYS resisted the urge to say somehing negative
about him. Sometimes you have to bite your tongue
and TRY and see the “other side” of circumstances.
I was lucky enough to marry a wonderful man when
my son was 4. When my son himself married last
summer it was this man. his STEPDAD that was his
best man. His “real dad”? He did not even come to
the wedding..but we were not surprised..(too many
people).
Sorry for the long post…but..HANG IN THERE WIL!
IT will be more than worth it. The kids know.
Here’s something. I’ve read these posts and being a child of divorced parents, I really have to count my blessings. My parents made it a point never to bring us kids into their adult problems. My mother never spoke bad about my dad and my dad never spoke bad about my mom. My dad cheated on my mom and after their divorce married his girlfriend. My mother said any negative even about her.
When my parents divorced, they used the same lawyer. My dad took full responsibility for providing for us kids and did a really great job of it. They signed their divorce papers over dinner and to this day, my dad and step-mom still go over to my mom’s house to help her with her taxes each year and then stay for the dinner my mom has cooked for them. They were there to help my mom buy her cars. My mom and step-mom even joked with the car dealer about both being Mrs. Russo. Family events are always so relaxed. And when I got married, I didn’t know how to seat my step-mother during the ceremony, she came to me and told me that she knew this would be odd and she and my dad were very comfortable sitting behind my mom and letting her shine as the mother of the bride. These past 10 years seeing my dad and step-mom together, I’ve realized how good she is for him and how much my relationship with my dad has been improved because of her. And my mom has learned to stand on her own two feet, is a great business woman and always my best friend.
So let’s face it. Divorce basically sucks for any child but I have to say one thing…MY PARENTS ( all three of them ) BASICALLY RAWK !!!!!!
Thus endeth my sermon for today!
Vikki
Ick! And once more, Ick!
That’s all.
Sounds fantastic, I wish I had a Dad like that. He tries hard though. Too bad I don’t try back. Enjoy your kids before they end up like me:-)
Wil,
Bite the bullet and get a Porsche. Hell, it’s L.A., they are as common as palm trees.
It sounds like you had a wonderful Father’s Day. Enjoy the summer!
Wil,
I liked this entry (story) better than any other you have done. Maybe it is because it was the simple truth about another (two) persons reality that had a nice ending. And it was a nice, soft and gentle story. I think this is how Howard Stern got started and famous, was by being real on the radio, he was never soft and gentle though.
These stories are so much better for me than your “commentary” entries. I like to hear about your geocaching with the kids or the way you found your dog or how you love your wife. This is your reality and you are a nice person, and you are sharing it with us. How very generous you are.
John
You certainly have a way of describing not just the actual events that happen, but the way that they make you feel. Thanks…it was nice.
Wil,
Speaking as someone who as a good shot at being stepdad to two really wonderful girls,(about the same age as your boys)I want you to know I’ll be following your example and including them in every little aspect that interests them.There could wind up being a good deal of distance betweenthe girls and their dad and what I’ll do to close that distance is to build them a powerful pc(I’m a PC tech)with a good webcam on it that they can give to their dad so he can see his girls every day instead of just during visitation.
Keep up the good work dude, you are an example all of us could benefit from.
Thanks for the lovely father’s day entry, Wil. This is only the second father’s day without my dad, and I love looking back on my childhood and all the fun times we had playing catch, helping dad bbq, listening to him do his Johnny Cash impersonation. But…birth father or step-father, it’s not in the name, it’s how you spend time with “your” kids. And it seems you spend it well. If you really want mosquitoes, though, I hear we get a few of them here in Winnipeg (not yet, but sure to come!). Cheers.
Sometimes I’m such a chick that I make myself nauseous. 🙂 That made me want to cry in that “happy ending-fade to black” kind of way.
It’s great when step-parents or guardians get to that point with their step-kids. I grin in delight everytime my 8 year old neighbour calls his step-dad “Daddy” or refers to him as such. It’s funnier when he’s angry with his birth-dad and refers to HIM by first name.
Wil, you are SUCH a respectful parent and I respect that a lot. All adults should treat minors as “little people” with open communication. I hope that your family has many great days this summer.
Happy belated Father’s Day, Wil Wheaton.
Wil: You ARE doing something about your boys’ situation…you are being there for them, whenever they need a loving, supportive, real-time, father figure. Keep it up…you ARE really helping them! Jan.
Awwww…….
Thanks for sharing!
Sweet story, stuff like that warms my heart 🙂
Being a VW fan, I’m going to have to say you should have gone with the 1.8l Turbo engine–Jetta or GTI would have been nice 🙂
Incidentally, thank you to everyone who told me happy father’s day.
Not a single member of my family, beyond my wife and step-kids bothered.
By the way, thank you to everyone who wished me a happy father’s day.
Except for Anne and the boys, not a single member of my family bothered to do the same.
That’s ok, Wil….as much as I love my husband, I’ve been a mother for 4 years now and every mother’s day he says,” what, you’re not my mother….” and that’s as much acknowledgement as I get from him for mother’s day. At least Anne acknowledged you…LOL!