Grey Matter

Yesterday my little brother got married, and I was the best man in the ceremony.
It was wonderful.
I’m going to keep the details private, because sharing with the entire internet the particulars of a very special family event is just weird.
However, I will say: I have always felt that weddings should reflect the personalities of the bride and groom. Weddings shouldn’t be about forcing the couple into anyone’s particular mold or any one person’s *cough*grandma*cough*’s idea of what a wedding should be. I just hate it that people feel like they must conform to certain ideals, and I was thrilled that Jeremy and Jenn did their wedding their way. It was very unconventional, fun, touching, and memorable.
One really cool thing they did was to welcome to the ceremony people who couldn’t be there, whether they were living or dead, by ringing a bell. Jeremy rang the bell, and welcomed, among other people, my Aunt Val. It breaks my heart that Aunt Val didn’t get to be there in person to see Jeremy and Jenn get married; she always called him “my little boy,” and I know that they each kept large areas of their hearts reserved for each other. I was really glad that she was able to attend in spirit, and I thought that the ringing of the bell was beautiful.
The next time we have an important family gathering, I’m going to ring a bell, and invite Aunt Val to join us.
At the reception I saw lots of people who I don’t see very often, and many of them told me that they’ve been reading my website…which immediately made me feel weird. It’s easier to write what’s on my mind when I don’t think about the people reading it, especially people I know. When I wrote the story about 4th of July recently, my dad told me that he sent it to everyone in the family who was there, and how they remembered it and all that…it’s just strange. Even writing this paragraph now I have had to resist the urge to delete it.
Strange.
Well, tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 30. Then Wednesday is Ryan’s birthday. He turns 13. Holy. Crap.
I have already gotten some AMAZINGLY COOL Birthday presents, but they get their own entry in a few days.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Now go outside!

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84 thoughts on “Grey Matter”

  2. I still don’t get this “outside” thing, but you make it sound so nice I might have to give it a try.
    Congratulations on entering your 4th decade on the planet tomorrow.

  3. I’ve just come in from outside (yay!) and it’s hot out there. However, it is always a good thing to get outside and enjoy when possible!
    Congratulations to your brother.
    Happy Birthday tomorrow! I hope it’s a great day.

  4. Hi Will, happy birthday for tomorrow!
    Im in the UK, and have been outside all weekend at a japanese car festival! Been really sunny and hot! Glad i took the old factor 25! ;o)

  5. I have had my fill of the outside, I dangled my legs out of the patio door for a few seconds. Any more than that, it just gets dangerous
    Happy Birthday Wil, your too cool for 30!
    (no offence to 30 year olds, but thats a LOOONG way away for me )
    miggy

  6. First off, Happy Birthday Wil! Second, I turned 30 last april…It wasn’t the worst experience in the world however, my nine year old decided to proclaim me one step closer to fossilization. Hmm…Maybe it did kinda suck. Oh well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy 30 more than I am.
    Take care

  7. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIL!!!!!!!!! I don’t know about you but I have mixed feelings about turning thirty next year. I am excited and a little scared at the same time. Since I have no choice I will embrace the day with a smile nonetheless.

  8. Egad! I can’t picture Wesley at 30. But Wil, sure! Enjoy, and remember, it’s only a number. Happy Birthday!

  9. Thats a beautiful way to remember a loved one. I was very close to my maternal grandmother and made sure I carried her favorite flowers at my wedding. It is about rememberance.
    Have a great birthday- I swear 30 is wonderful.

  11. Hi Will.
    Happy 30th for tomorrow. Hope the weather is good. Very hot here in the south of England today. Having a bit of a starwars fest with some mates tonight.
    Take care.
    Julian.

  12. Hey Wil…
    Happy Birthday for tomorrow. I hope the next 30 are at least as interesting as the last 30. And no, thats not a curse. I turn 35 in a few months and I think I am entering that thoughtful phase you had a while back. Its a beautiful thing, isnt it?

  13. Once again, Happy Birthday Wil! Yeah it feels like only yesterday that I was 13 yrs old. How time flies ah? Looking forward to finding out what presents you got. Have fun celebrating your birthdays. Cheers.

  14. Hey Wil,
    First and formost…. Happy Birthday!!!!! 30… geez, can’t picture you at 30… can’t picture anyone… but then I’m only 14 here… and say Happy Bday to Ryan for me too!!!!!
    I’ve only been to one wedding, but your brother’s sounds cool!!! Wish them the best… and I would head out… but you see, I slipped down the stairs at 2 in morning,(getting a drink) and now my ankle is pretty colours… But if Wil orders, I supose we must all obey! 🙂
    Lily

  15. Happy Birthday Wil. Hope 30 treats you as well as you wish. It’s just another day, in a string of days.
    I don’t think I have to tell you not to take it TOO seriously.
    Enjoy your day Wil.
    Beau

  16. I do beleive it’s only his 3rd Decade of life- He’s 30 right?
    Very cool about the ringing a bell- i think I will do the same at the next family gathering, I have been out in the daytime- I almost burst into flames though,
    Happy Birthday to you Dude!! and to Ryan– Best wishes for the Happy couple.

  17. I can now relate on the blog unease: I started my own log last week, and I soon figured that if I was upset about any of my family/friends/job, I couldn’t really open up and vent in my blog, since there was a possibility someone I knew would read it and get upset. I wish there was a way to limit access to strangers only 😎
    Have a great Birthday tomorrow! You’ll see: 30 is the best 😉

  19. Congrats to your wife and friends for the party, that is a hard thing to pull off.
    I am glad I got back online just in time to say…
    HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY WIL!
    Welcome to the 30s, now you may now join the secret cabal that the “kids” don’t know about. Oops, anyone one under 30 this is just an “adult” joke please ignore it. : )
    Now back to my family and friends…

  20. It is always hard when the absence of a person is glaring. You think that you can get beyond the tremendous emptiness, and then there is an occasion, even a happy one, that makes noticing the person’s absence unavoidable. But I think your brother had a unique and touching way to acknowledge the absence (or presence, for that matter) of your aunt. And about weddings, I know what you mean. I come from a divorced family, and so does my husband (two mothers-in-law, *shudder*). So you can imagine the horrors and hideous opinions I had to wade through, and egos I had to try not to bruise in the planning. We handled it by doing mostly what your brother did. Our wedding, our way.

  22. P.S.– Happy Birthday, even though I don’t know you.
    I always think that it is weird when people wish happy birthday to people they don’t know, especially famous people. But I guess you fall into that gray area of internet personalities. You know the life they want you to see, but you don’t KNOW THEM. And I might recognize you on the street(maybe not; you don’t run around in a starfleet uniform by chance?? ;^P), but even if I introduced myself to you, you still might back away with your finger on the pepper spray. But maybe not. I am a nice person afterall, and I don’t smell or stalk. But it is still weird since I don’t know you. And will you wish me a happy birthday on my birthday???

  23. Taking a cue from Renee, I also don’t know you or your family, but turning 30, 13 and having a relative marry, is a nice thing. Congrats to everyone and enjoy.
    And, I’m no longer white. The sun is nice, but harsh.

  25. One day more!
    Another day, another destiny.
    This never-ending road to Calvary;
    These men who seem to know my crime
    Will surely come a second time.
    One day more!
    Opps, I meant One day more until your birthday.
    HeeHeeHee
    I was outside swimming earlier. I think I got too much sun. Poo. Oh well, it was super fun. Splash, Splash!!
    Happy Day before your Birthday, Day!!!

  27. Happy Birthday Will… From one Will to another. I just turned 32 this month so I know what the “thritysomething” feels like. I was outside today, all weekend matter of fact, problem… it was to work rather than pleasure.
    By the way, watched the interviews you did with G4tv at E3. Nice work!
    🙂

  28. I so agree about the self-conscious aspect of blogging. I just started a blog of my own a few weeks ago and already my husband is reading entries and reminding me that my mother or sister or friend may read it. I try not to think about it, otherwise I’d never be able to just write from the brain and heart.
    Congrats on all the special events–I’m glad your brother and sister-in-law were able to have the wedding the wanted.
    I love reading your entries. Thanks for sharing with the world.

  29. “Outside” Eh… *peers* no.. it’s raining and we have tornado watches.. I’ll pass thanks.
    But have a happy birthday!
    A.

  31. Happy Birthday Wil!!! Enjoy your birthday and spend it with your family. Make it a memorable one you only turn 30 once. Congrats to your brother for getting married.

  32. Major congrats to your brother on his wedding, and I hope he and his new bride stay goofily in love and ass-in-the-air happy for the next, oh, 4 or 5 decades.
    I gotta agree with you, a marriage is so personal, you need to start it out the way *you* want, not the way traditional – or relatives – dictate. If the relatives don’t like it, that’s a shame… but starting out the way your heart dictates makes it that much more of a sacrament (imnsho).
    And I can relate on the Relatives Reading The Blog thing… It’s kind of like showing up to a family dinner naked. Everyone can’t help but stare, even though they’ve probably seen you naked before 😉

  33. Congratulations to your brother, Jeremy, and your new sister-in-law, Jenn!
    Also,
    HAPPY EARLY 30th BIRTHDAY to you, Wil!
    HAPPY EARLY 13th BIRTHDAY to Ryan!

  34. All I can say, regarding your brother’s wedding, is that I hope your toast to him was better than my brother’s toast to my wife and I at our wedding. 😛
    It went something like this:
    “Uhm…. Congratulations, you two.” He raises his glass at this point, and continues with, “Uhm… May you both be together for as long as… you’re… together.”
    Good intentions aside here for a moment, I can’t help but wonder if he’d been doing some “practice toasts” before the real thing, if you know what I mean. ;P
    Happy birthday, Wil! Hope it goes well for ya!
    Seeya!
    Adam “Pegasus316” Fullerton
    http://wanderingtrials.keenspace.com
    http://trialsandtrivializations.keenspace.com
    http://www.gamingguardians.com/pg

  35. Happy birthday to all, and to all a good night.
    Oh..and since it’s raining here, I’ll skip the whole outside thing. Maybe take my daughter to the library instead.
    Cheers!

  36. wil: happy birthday…and i don’t feel weird about saying it…i may not know you personally…but i know you from your work…and from what you shared with all of us here on the blog…in my hometown i get lots of birthday greetings and cookies, and candy and presents from people who only know me from my work…sometimes i feel bad about not knowing who they all are…or their names…and then i remember i’m a friend to them because they hear me on the radio…and they like what i do!… well that’s the deal with you….a friend from television, movies and the blog…happy birthday to you wil.

  37. HAPPY 21TH BIRTHDAY!! That’s a joke! I’m watching you right now on Star Trek. YOU’RE SO FREAKIN’ HOT!!! Love ya lots! ~~*Gooniegirl*~~

  38. Uh Oh Wil, gonna have to watch your language on your site now that your family is regularly reading it. Happy Birthday.
    John

  39. I suddenly feel older than my 28 years, and not necessarily in a good way. Wil, you’ve accomplished a great deal in your 30 years (not the least of which is a happy and loving family). Enjoy!

  42. I’m glad your brother and sister-in-law had the wedding their way. My husband and I ran off to Vegas, both of us in shorts and t-shirts, with the added bonus of melted chocolate ice-cream all over my husband’s shirt. We had the time of our lives, and I would’nt change it for anything!

  46. I found myself reading about your Aunt Val and was very touched at what she obviously meant to you. We ALL have loved ones who leave us and the sadness can be more than we can take — at times. Perhaps the ringing of the bell will serve to chase out the heartache as well as invite in the joy for what they gave us while they were here. Especially on such occasions as this — a wedding…
    Blessings and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I did it (turned 30) myself nearly 5 years ago — it’s still a trip.
    -Rhinohead

  49. Happy 30th! Reminder after 30 everything starts to go. Better start shopping for that extra strength Viagra. That is the first thing will go (Your wife will not comment, she will just start faking it a whole lot) Just kidding! Have a great 30th.

  50. Hey Wil….happy birtday. Hey don’t worry about what the Trekkies think about your career now. I am a trekkie and I think you are doing great. I enjoy seeing you in other movies and shows. I’m a Wil Wheaton fan …not a Wes Crusher fan.
    Take Care!

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