Schism

“Individually we can get angry. Together we can, and will, make a diference.”
I wrote those words recently, hoping to rally and inspire people to action.
I was talking about the rapid erosion of our free speech and parody rights on the internet, but that phrase applies to any movement, really.
One voice is easily ignored or silenced, but when other people add their voices to yours, you become a chorus not easily ignored.
It turns out that a lot of people got angry that I wouldn’t be attending the 15th anniversary of TNG celebration next month. It turns out that those voices joined together in emails, phone calls, internet postings and FAXes. It turns out that those voices became a chorus not easily ignored.
Thursday afternoon, I had a message on my machine from Adam Malin, president of Creation. He told me that he’d been “flooded” with emails, phone calls and FAXes. He said he’d read the internet postings, and he wanted to talk with me. He told me that he felt terrible, sick, and was very upset that I felt the way that I did. He was apologetic, and hoped I’d call him back so we could speak directly and if nothing else, clear the air.
When I set the phone down in it’s cradle, I was surprised to feel my hands shaking.
I was, quite honestly, stunned. Shocked. A phone call from a lawyer I would have expected. An angry phone call, maybe, given the rage people were expressing on message boards at my own site and elsewhere. But a personal, cordial, apologetic call? I just didn’t think it would happen.
I didn’t have a chance to call him back until yesterday, during my lunch hour at work. See, we’ve been busting our asses at Arena to pull together this HALO National Championship event, and yesterday was the culmination of weeks of 12 hour days, of hundreds if not thousands of individual hours of work.
So lunch comes, and I phoned him.
I apologized for not calling him back right away. I explain to him that we’re working on this special, and it’s maxed out my internal CPU.
Before I can say anything, he apologizes again for not talking to me directly, and letting his underlings deal with me instead.
He tells me that he has never thought of me as “not part of the family.”
I tell him that I have been given the impression from everyone at Creation, even the people with whom I am friends, that there are “levels,” and it (rightly) goes: Captains, Data, everyone else…then there was me.
I tell him that I’ve felt marginalized, and treated like my contributions to Trek weren’t important to him, Creation, the fans, or Paramount.
He apologizes again, tells me again that he doesn’t feel that way. Tells me that he wanted to make it right. He wants to have me at that convention.
I am stricken by how genuine he seems. I am beginning to feel badly for not going over the heads of his employees and speaking directly to him, myself.
I also notice something that is a new feeling to me, as far as Star Trek goes: I’m being treated like an adult. Treated with respect, spoken to fotrhrightly and candidly.
This may seem like an overstatement of the glaringly obvious, but even though I am thirty years old, I still feel like I’m “the kid” where Trek is concerned. Not feeling that way is something new to me, and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
Adam tells me that he has heard great things about my sketch group. He’s heard that they are fabulous, and the fans really love the show we do. He tells me that he wants to hire them for the show, wants me to speak at the show, and he really wants to make it work out.
I tell him that there wasn’t time to get the group together now, and produce a quality show. He is really upset about that. He asks me if I’d be willing to get my group together for Grand Slam 2003.
I notice that we’re having a cordial, comfortable conversation. It’s like we’ve both been stung. Me by the posture taken during the previous negotiation, and him by the vitriolic rebuke from the fans. He seems to genuinely feel badly that my feelings were so hurt, and I get the palpable impression that he wants to make things right.
He asked me again if I’d be willing to do the show for a very reasonable fee, just a little bit below what I was asking for before negotiations broke down last month.
I am immdediately torn.
I think about this thing that someone said in the comments yesterday: “If you turn your back on Trek one more time, I’m buying you a revolving door.”
I think hard about that. It burns inside me.
I dont know what to do.
On the one hand, I want Trek behind me.
On the other hand, it will never be behind me no matter what, because, let’s face it: Trek was and is HUGE. Bigger than me. Bigger than I will ever be in my (stalled and slowing) acting career.
After I’d gotten the first phone call from Adam, I talked it over with Travis (from Arena) who is a very good friend of mine. Knows me very, very well.
Told him I’m having mixed feelings about it. I can think of reasons to do the show, and reasons to not do the show.
He asked me why I didn’t want to do it.
I gave him some reasons, pro and con.
He asked me if I was happy writing.
I told him I was.
He asked me if I liked being on stage.
I told him that I did.
He asked me why I could possibly not want to be onstage in front of people who want to like me, and read my work to the same. He reminded me of the sketch shows we’ve done together at conventions, and how we have always felt great afterwards.
He asks me again why I can’t embrace Star Trek as something wonderful that I was part of, and at the same time continue to move forward as an actor and writer.
I couldn’t answer him.
Pride? Fear?
I don’t fucking know.
The people on the ‘net have rallied around me about this. The fans have raged at Creation, and Creation listened.
But there’s that revolving door. I’m stuck in it, big time.
I think of this email I got where a guy said he felt like I was trying to convince myself that it is okay to be booted from Star Trek things. He’s right.
I think of a comment where a guy criticizes me for being so angst-ridden about Star Trek, accuses me of being full of shit, says he can see right through me.
He has a point too. I meant what I said about being cut from the film. But having the safety bubble burst? Well, I’m still standing in it’s remains, hoping I can find a way to refill it, just in case. Setting Wesley free, embracing a sense of freedom? I meant that, as well.
I feel like I have grown older, and changed. But I feel unfulfilled, unsure, and I know that the last few months of entries here have focused on that. Maybe I’m giving way too much weight to the comment of one random person who didn’t even have the courage to put an email address with the anonymous comment. For all I know I could be biting on the biggest troll ever.
But there is truth to what that anonymous poster said. I’m torn. I am caught in a revolving door, and I don’t know what will happen, and I am filled with angst, and that feeling is burning inside of me, keeping me awake at night, distracting me every minute of every day. It’s burning in me so fiercely, so hot and insistent, that I have lost perspective. I can’t make objective decisions and weigh the pros and cons effectively.
So I seek counsel from some very good friends of mine. Some people who I really trust and respect. I write to them what I’ve written above, with the following pros and cons:
Pros:

  • Fans will be ecstatic that Creation listened, that they fought for me and won.
  • Fans will be happy to see me in person.
  • I’ll earn money for my family and be able to perform what I love to do for an audience who *FINALLY* wants to like me.

Cons:

  • That revolving door feeling, and the fear of a massive backlash from…well, I’m not sure who, but backlash nevertheless.

It seems pretty slam-dunk, right? I should do the show and feel great about it. But it’s not that easy for me. I am extremely conflicted, until I get the following responses:
“This could not be easier, but that’s really because I’m not you.
You don’t have a choice, man. When you just had a few little tiny hairs, something in you nailed that part of the “kid that was to be forever hated”(tm).
I honestly believe that you were hated because everyone wanted to be like you and because you were a fucking kid in an adult world and there was a new crowd suddenly attracted–nevermind that we’ve got the black guy with the hairclip on his eyes and a Klingon on the ship…not to mention that fucking hot Martina bitch.
No, you were the biggest oddball, and you didn’t have a clue what was happening to you, no matter how fucking smart you were–and Wil, you’re no dumb guy.
Hell, you know I know that you’re a million times harder on yourself than anyone else could be in a single day.
You’ve managed to take all the asshole things you did when you were younger and attempt to make right on them.
Again, if you’re at all like me, you probably get irate if you catch yourself littering because of the Karma Train that’ll come back to hit you if you cause some old guy somewhere some extra effort to clean up your mess, even if it’s his job.
Damn, man. I know what you’re doing…I do it, too.
So, you think you’d be compromising or something if you went and changed your mind and went back to the show.
I don’t. You’re going to enjoy it. People like you.
You looked in the face of a thousand-million internetters and said, “Hey, I’m a fucking human like you, I’ve been a dick, it’s not right, this is what I did and this is what I think now. Sorry; won’t happen again.”
People like you, man. In fact, you’re probably not even capitalizing off of all the Internet Momentum(tm) you’ve gained in the past year. Shit, Wil, people all over the place NOW LIKE YOU. Let’s face it, you’ve only gotten limited access to those auditions, but how many magazines, newspapers, tv shows, etc. have you been on because you’re a fucking computer geek-boy now?
You want my point-blank, in-your-fucking-face opinion right now?
Too bad, I’m giving it to you anyway.
For starters, go there.
Go there in a big fucking “in your face, but I’m still just lil ol’ Wil” way. Have the fucking time of your life–do it FOR YOU for the fans, not for the fans. These people want to see you–and even if they say something negative, just laugh it off like water on a duck and say, “Cool, but you know, you really don’t know me” and know that you’ve won in that statement alone.
Then, Mr. Man, I think you need to start doing something to have the voices of these hundreds of thousands of souls who, together, are not only fucking bright when they’re not trolling, but who are also strong-minded and very likely to do something about making you an actor.
???
Yeah. You’ve got a fucking posse, man.
Truer words could not be said. Now, what does it fucking take to get all of these people together to say in a single voice, “We Want Wil” and have them get you back on screen?
I don’t have the answer there, but I guarantee you that I’m going to be the first person to try and figure it out…people want to see you. People are rooting for you all over the place and you don’t even know it because you’ve let yourself become accustomed to not being quite so famous.
But, dammit, man, you’re the movie-star guy that’s “just like me…holy shit!” and you’re an underdog. You’re the guy that people want to see get some momentum behind and get to the top–and then remember each and every one of them on the way up and once you get there, because, no one does that. Everyone forgets that one little geek that didn’t have to show up at the con and ask for your autograph…who made it there for you and saved money to go.
If you forget him, he’ll take you down as quickly as he put you up there, and you know that very well, my friend. They taught you that already.
You’re a blessed man. Don’t forget that. I’ll never be on a G4 network or on a game show, and that’s cool, but believe me, I’d want to do it in a heartbeat. You, on the other hand, can do it with your eyes closed–and that’s true. G4 is your stepping stone, in case you hadn’t noticed that just yet.
Let me wrap up with something that Michael Jordan once said: “Every night when I go out on the court, I think about that father and son out there who are seeing me play basketball–and that’s the only reason they’re here. This might just be their only chance. Sometimes, I even wish I could trade places with them because of the great feeling–the great moment this is for them. Every night when I go out on the court, I play my best…for them.”
So, get your black-ass out on the court. Hit the fucking circuits and get busy busy busy, man. No fucking infomercial is going to be your death, so get that fucking preconceived notion out of your head and put the rubber to the road.
Dunno; maybe you’ll be pissed at some of this, but the truth is, I don’t care about that. I care about the fact that you SEEM to be letting some of your potential wash-away from you, and you’re too good for that.
Look, I don’t know all that goes on, so that obviously makes me very uninformed, but if this is my opinion of you, then imagine what other people must feel if they’re your fans? You’ve become an icon all over again, believe it or not.”
Another friend said:
“I just talked to [his wife, who is very wise] about it, who had this to say:
First off, she thinks you should do it (for reasons I’ll get into in a second).
But the big thing (again, still her talking) is that you should do this for you.
Whatever you decide, right now, it’s gotta be for you, and not because X amount of people will judge you for doing it or not doing it.
If you feel it’s right for you, and will benefit your family, and your writing, and gain some recognition for you, AND you’ll get to see some old Trek buddies again, and that’s what you want, then you gotta do that thing.
But don’t do it if you now feel pressured by the fans to do it.
And don’t NOT do it because you’re afraid of what the fans will think.
Whatever you do, do it because you, you personally need to.
Okay, here’s where I start talking.
To put this in some perspective, I remember a time when Shatner wouldn’t do the con thing. There was a period between the cancellation of the series and the first movie where he wouldn’t even mention Star Trek in interviews (which was actually kind of surreal).
That said, he came back, did the movies and lives very well off of them and off of the additional fame from a new audience not as familiar with the series.
Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on.
Once you accept that, the audience accepts you…and paradoxically, on your own terms.
See, this whole “Turn Your Back On Trek” thing, if you let thatget to you…how do I put this?
If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do.
And, while we’re putting our cards on the table, here, I think that you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive. As a former convention-goer, the Trek (or otherwise) speakers who I thought were the coolest were the ones who accepted that Trek was the reason they were there and why we were there, as opposed to the guys who seemed weirded out or perplexed that anyone gave a shit.
Not that you’d be that way–I’m talking about an initial attitude going in, not the handling of the experience from that point on.
As far as you feeling that you’re renegging on what you said in your post…and here’s some perspective:
The situation is different now.
It’s not that they called you, snubbed you, and you’re going back anyway to eat shit for the peanuts.
It’s that they contacted you, snubbed you initially, then realized they misjudged your appeal (and ability to bring in a LOT of new people) and finally were willing to meet you on terms you could accept.
I’m not gonna lie and say that some people won’t be assholes and call sour grapes on you for “singing a different tune.”
Expect it. I know you are.
You’ve been down this path before. We all know you have.
I mean, it’s great publicity for the website, and for Arena, and for you. You will have an ability to connect with the fans again–but this time it’ll be a little different, because you’re probably going to see more people you know you from the site–and Malin knows that.”
Mixed in with all of this, I got an email from a really nice woman who organized fans to share their outrage about this. Creation reverses themselves … PLEASE do go, otherwise IMO Creation will win, as they can say you turned THEM down after they met your (original) terms or soemthing like that. Then promote the hell out of the convention on your website. Perhaps if Creation and the others see how powerful you and your website is, they just MIGHT sit up and take notice, and I’m not just talking about conventions here, but perhaps it might help you in other ways (as yet unseen) as well.
I’m calling for a campaign here to do right by you … ’cause I think it stinks. NO one messes with the Wil Wheaton, or they’ll find that they have the ‘Possee’ as you call us, to contend with, and I suspect we are a much MORE powerful together, than Creation realizes.
I’m doing this for you, cause I think you are a neat guy … but also mostly because, remember, I’ve been a Trekkie longer than you’ve been around (before you were born), and this is now really got me STEAMED how on their High Horse that Creation has gotten of late.”
So. I think long and hard about these things, and still I feel heavily conflicted.
I revisit those pros and cons, and think to myself:
I’d love to have a chance to read some of my stuff for an audience who would really “get” it.
I’d love to go in front of fans who, for the first time EVER **LIKE** me.
But that revolving door is spinning, and I don’t know how I can face the people who said “Good for you! Leave Star Trek behind you forver!”
Well, right now, the absolute truth is, as my friend said:
“Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on. “
That’s the freedom I was referring to in the last part of The Wesley Dialogues.
“If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do… you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive.”
Well, I’m going to wrestle with that last one for awhile, I think, and WWDN readers can expect more angst in the months to come. Sorry, it’s just part of the process. There are hundreds of great weblogs to read, and lots of pretty trees to look at outside if you’d rather not read that stuff here.
Well, this is 9 pages now, so I think it’s time to get back to the point:
Adam and I talk.
It is a good, long, honest, respectful talk.
We clear the air.
He tells me that his profit margin on the Vegas show was not several million dollars. He tells me that it was very, very slim, relative to his investment, which was nearly half a million dollars.
He tells me that he didn’t want me at the Grand Slam on stage because he wanted to hold off until the 15th show. He thought it would be cooler if he waited to have me come on then.
He tells me that he had no idea about my website, or about how the fans felt about me now.
He asks me if I’d reconsider.
I reconsider. I replay all those emails in my head, I balance the pros and cons, and I say to him,
“Adam. I am really conflicted about this. I feel like each time I do a Star Trek event, it’s…well, it’s not necessarily a step backwards, but it certainly isn’t a step forwards, but I feel like I should listen to the voice of the fans. We should all listen to the voice of the fans, because that voice has been increasingly silenced over the last decade.
I love to perform, and I would like to give something back to the fans. I would love to attend the event, and be part of the celebration, but I’d also like to share some of my writing with the fans. Would you be able to put me in an evening spot, so I can read somet things that I’ve written?”
“Is it funny?” He asks me.
“It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s bittersweet…it’s really a reflection of the person I am, and people seem to respond to it.”
“Can I book your comedy group for Grand Slam in 2003?”
“Yes. I’d love to bring my guys out. We love to perform.”
We talk about fees, and we agree on a very fair fee, which is right on par with the rest of the actors.
I will do a question and answer session at the convention, and I will bring selections of my writing, and read them for the audience during and evening program.
I ask him for one more thing. I tell him that I have more in common with the fans now than I do with the actors, and I keep hearing how the fans are getting the in-person-autograph shaft these days.
I want him to put my autograph table in an area where I can sit for a few hours, so all the fans can get their stuff signed, so I can talk with people who are so inclined.
He tells me that he’d really like that. Many actors just won’t do that, and he thinks it would be great.
I feel very good about this conversation, and I feel very excited to be part of this celebration.
Resolution? It’s a long ways off. That’s why they call it “angst.”
But there is something wonderful buried in all of this:
I doubt I would have gotten this phone call if there hadn’t been such a loud and immediate response from the fans.
You spoke up on my, and your, behalf, and your voice was heard.
Think about that for a moment.
Your voice was heard. You made a difference. Creation is the 800 pound gorilla of conventions. They don’t have to listen to anyone.
But they listened to you. They listened to us.
That, my friends, is huge, and everyone who is reading this gets to own part of that.
I strongly suggest that you take a moment, and phone, write, FAX, or email Adam or Gary or whomever at Creation, and thank them for hearing your voices.
And if you come to the 15th show, please, please, please seek me out and introduce yourself. I’d like to know you.

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296 thoughts on “Schism”

  1. Wil,
    I am happy and sad for you.
    I am happy because you get to fall back on Star trek to take care of the family.
    Sad because you have bowed to the man – Creation.
    You speak of how you hate the money grubbing “machine” of capitalism. If you had any self respect you should have said a big NO to him and his underlings who he IS responsible for.
    You need to send Spudz and I in your place as a big FUCK YOU to creation.
    Spudz could recite some of your posts and I could read some porno movie lines.
    Well good luck on the appearance I won’t be there cuz I have no idea where it is anyway.
    Maybe someday you will learn that big business is evil and that you are too good to be fucked over by them every chance they get.
    hops out.

  2. I just want to say that I am so glad you are going. I clicked on the link in your last entry to see if it was at all feasible that I could attend. Nope. But, I did notice, they have you listed and they mention you and your troupe for Grand Slam next March.
    http://www.creationent.com/cal/sttng.html
    I always enjoyed the Wesley character. I think all the people who were bothered by his intelligence were perhaps bothered as well by the children around them. Sort of like the jokes where the kids have to program the VCRs and all for the parents. Kids have so much more to learn now, and they lap it up. Wesley just personified all of that.
    In the TV “mega series” Dinotopia, they said that a single raindrop raises the sea. Well, all your “raindrops” must have seemed like the beginning of forty days and nights to the folks at Creation.
    So Wil, embrace your own inner Wesley-ness and enjoy the show. Your 50,000 monkeys can’t be wrong. We love the man you’ve become, and you wouldn’t have gotten this way without Trek. I would have loved to meet you. Not for an autograph. Not to swoon. Just to shake your hand and say how much enjoy the community you’ve established here. And how much I respect you.

  3. I love ST:TNG, still do. If I could justify the cost I’d get every season on DVD. I’ve never been to a Trek con but you know what, if they held one and you were going to be there, I’d so be there and not in the whole Trekker sense but more in the blogger sense. Not to see Wesley Crusher but Wil Wheaton. I imagine there are alot more like me too… and not in the stalker way either.
    Go! have fun ya big goof.*
    *puts Wil in headlock and rubs scalp

  4. Wil –
    Go, Go, Go — to the con!
    I’m sorry I can’t go. 🙁
    And please keep writing, too!

  5. Oh how I wish I could go see you. You’re really a good guy-I’m glad you’ll sign for everyone. Don’t worry so much-you’re liked, respected, smart, and people love you for you. It’s human nature for people to connect you to Star Trek (my non-english speaking mother calls you Wesley, she doesn’t even know your real name, but she likes you, “the cute boy”)but don’t let it bug you too much. Hope you rock at the convention.

  6. To thine own self be true, right?
    Think you have a lot of people behind you- and best of luck in all this, hope you find what you are seeking

  7. You go guy! If you’re happy Wil, we’re happy. You’ve got a lot of people behind you because it’s obvious that you’re a good and decent person. If it works for you, it works for us 🙂
    Star Trek, Creation and Wesley Crusher are fun little diversions…but you, Wil, are someone to be reckoned with.
    All my best,
    Paul

  8. Ya know what’s cool, Wil?
    When people go to see you at the con, they will be going to see YOU. Not “The guy who played Wesley” but YOU. Wil Wheaton funny guy who writes things that make us laugh and cry. Step-dad, husband, geocacher. People know you and like you. I think that would be a really great feeling.
    Enjoy it.
    LK

  9. Good job. I wish I could be there to shake your hand, Wil.
    I think the amount of respect your fans have for you has grown a hundredfold over the last month or so. We’ve seen more inside your individual psyche than ever before.
    Some think the internet is an impersonal place. I couldn’t disagree more.
    Cheers

  11. Wil
    I am so glad things worked out like this. It really is funny how those worlds we live in collide and make a whole new reality for us. I think you have now found your new reality where Star Trek fits in with who you are totaly. I think that may have been part of the problem all along, everyone including you were trying to forget your part of the Star Trek thing. I guess in a way Wil finally meets Wil huh?
    Congrats

  12. Wow, Wil. You have arrived. The past few days have been amazing!
    Interestingly, out of all of the amazingness one part of today’s post really suprised me. It was your reply to Adam Malin’s question about your writing.
    “It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s bittersweet…it’s really a reflection of the person I am, and people seem to respond to it.”
    My knee-jerk reaction was “Of course people respond to it!” Then I stopped to consider why we respond so strongly. It’s because you’re a good communicator. You can convey ideas and emotions equally well in person and in writing, and it all seems genuine. What a rare combination!
    I’d wish you luck whereever G4, Trek, writing, and life in general take you, but you don’t need it. Now go give your wife, kids, and Ferris a hug. 🙂

  13. ::laughs:: It’s funny how life works out. You try desperatly to put something behind you and when your heading down that road, that one that leads you from day to day, things just get in the way and we trip and stumble over them and ask “What the hell?” I don’t think we can put things behind us like we’d like to. I think things contribute to who we are and no matter what we think, we can never truly leave it behind, because it is apart of who we are today: what we are today.
    Hell, if fans want to see Wil Wheaton, and Wil, if you want to see them, where’s the harm. It’s a gig. Take them while you can. You never know what might happen.
    Be happy Wil,
    Cheers,
    Shannon

  14. Hey wil
    ok i love you to death, and what i am about to say may ofend you but it is just what i think. I have been readin your site for a long time nowm and most of the time you sit here and talk about how much you love your family and i want to support them and that is great and i have no doubt in my mnind that it is true! So now you have this chance to make some extra money to help you to support your family, and then you say you love the fans and they went through all this work to annoy the hell out of Creation to get you into the show and now you are actualky thinking about turning it down. maybe this would make a little more sense to me if you would give more of a reasson that you are thinking of saying no, but if you are struggling as much as you say you are, and if you love acting a writeing, and i know that star treak was a big part of your life, you should suck this offer up in a min, i mean this guy called you himself and apoligized ad really wants you back, and the fans all want you, open your eyes wil!!!! GO FOR IT!!!i am sorry to sound bitch, but oh y god, it is not that hard to find the answer, and maybe i do not really understand, maybe it is harder for you then it seems for me, but from this end it is not hard at all, Oh and if you do go I will do my best to be there, and i will make it a must to find you and introduce myself!!! Love ya, and i am real sorry if i offended you!!!

  15. Wil,
    I think you should also go to the convention, but are the “fans” there to get a singed autograph of cute little Wesley Crusser of to see Wil Wheaton? Wil, form what I hear the new Star Trek movie coming out the end of this year is most likley going to be the last one. Sounds like everyone get killed off. Maybe that is a good think for you. Not much chance of getting back with Star Trek. I think the “fans” would like to see Wil Wheaton do something. If your going to act… then act. If your going to write then write. I think it is time to move on with your life and put Star Trek behind you. It was fun while it lasted, buy man, how long are you going to “flog a dead horse”? Your 30 now. 10 years from now are you still goig to be signing Wesley Crusser autographs? I would like to see Wil Wheaton the star of a new movie or TV show. Promoting and signing autographs of something current… even if it’s a book signing. Until you get on with your life you will always be know as Wesley Crusser.

  16. Hey i just noticed how many spelling errors i had and i look like a dummy so ooppseee im yong ill get over it!! tee hehe!!!

  18. Thank you. It seems that the decision-makers usually pay much more attention to the “haters” than to the supporters, but once in a while, the powers do listen to the positive fan voices. You give us all hope.

  19. Congrats, I love Star Trek but have never been to a convention. Maybe they will rewrite some of the script to include you. I know it sounds far fetched but it happens from time to time. If not, so what. You’ve got more to offer the world than “the kid who grew up on a space ship”. You’re right, it’s bigger than you, me, and sliced bread. So get what you can out of it, just keep focused. With or without Star Trek you’ll come out on top.

  20. Think of life as an upward spiral… sometimes you may feel you are going in circles and chasing your tail. What is really happening is the finding of patterns and the learning of lessons and sometimes it seems we pass the same place… too many times. But there is always something new and something important there.
    Life is about evolving.
    You get this Wil. Creation listened, unbelievable and thank god they did. Because Wesley is vital to the history of Trek and you are Wesley (whether you like it some days or not ;-))

  23. I read your previous two posts the other day and I commented in one of the WWDN irc channels that you were either truly moving on or rationalizing. I guess it was somewhere in between. It’s great to see the process of realization one goes through so openly discussed.

  24. well I’m pretty damm impressed that fans were able to help make a difference. I personally believe that you are honestly deserving of such strong support and dedication, and that in the grand scheme of things, you are in exactly the right place, the right frame of mind, and the right time to be doing ALL the things you are doing. Go get ’em Wil. All of ’em. And by the way, Arena is damm good entertainment sir.

  25. Wil, you are truly a force to be reckoned with, they will not consider a trek com without you now, knowing the following you have.
    Wanna hear somethign funny? In a call to my mom last week or so she mentioned she saw you on techTV talking about your site and geek junk and said “He’s a cool guy! Really into tech stuff like your brother and you. I thought he was a twerp on NG, but hes grown up to a be a quite a cutie!”
    From my Mother there is no higher praise.
    I hope you come to cons in Ohio so I can seee you and I’m going to write my pals at Marcon and ask they bring you. Nay, demand it. (marcon.org folks! help me!)

  29. To Wil:
    I hope you have a wonderfull time at the convention. I wish I could be one of the lucky ones who gets to see you there, in person in all your glory. Your posts are an invaluabe distraction for me in medical school. Keep up the great work with the site.
    From: A possee down in Puerto Rico.
    Ana Marylee

  30. Hey, Wil –
    Glad they wised up. Hope you can drop the angst and feel free to go or not go. (And then I hope you go 🙂
    It’s great they want you there as ‘Wesley Crusher’ but it’s even greater that they want you there as the great writer and acting talent Wil Wheaton.
    Charge!

  31. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Wil Wheaton, you rock.
    Life isn’t black and white. The decision you came to yesterday might not seem like the best decision today. There’s more to it today.
    You’re entitled to change your mind. You’re entitled to be flexible. It’s part of being open-minded. It’s part of being an adult. It’s part of being at peace with yourself.
    You are all of the above. You are a truly fine man.
    Congratulations. Anyone who has read your web log knows Trek is important to you. Even me, a girl who’s never seen an episode or a movie. I know it’s huge. You’re part of the family. You always will be. That’s a fantastic accomplishment and honor. Enjoy it. You deserve it.

  33. These last few really long posts have been absolutely mesmerizing – I’ve enjoyed watching you think and even more than that I’ve enjoyed being apart of your cheering section.
    Truth is while I liked both your movies and Star Trek I just never had that ferver that you’ve come to recognize in rabid Star Trek fans.
    I became your fan from this website and I’m glad it gives something back to you as well…even if sometimes that’s just more voices swirling around in your head.

  34. First Creation, now Paramount! GET WIL’S CAMEO BACK IN NEMESIS!!!!!!

  35. Ah, behold the power of the Internet…
    Good for you, Wil. I won’t be able to attend, but I’ll sure try to attend Grand Slam 2003.
    And don’t worry about people critcizing you for canging your mind, just do what you feel is right.

  37. Wil, quit sniveling and get your ass to the convention. And be funny.
    Heres an idea.
    You have a revolving door prop, center stage.
    On the one side of the stageis one of them ugly ass-headed ferengi monkey things, beckoning you. On the other side is darkened stage, with the bright glow of a computer monitor and some dirty, scraggly dude typing away on it.
    You walk back and forth through your revolving door.. indecisive. And for awhile, the audience wonders what the hell is going on. And the computer person types on, uncaring. And the ferengi begins barring its teeth.
    And then he really gets pissed. He runs off stage, and you appear confused. You slowly begin to walk through the door, closer to the computer… and then…
    The ferengi comes running at you, followed by three borg. They jump on you, beating you, biting you, kicking you, and they begin dragging you to their side of the stage.
    And you write the end. Because I don’t know that part yet.
    (But heres the ending I suggest. Computer dude gets up and flips the computer monitor to the crowd, revealing the words PORN. And then a faint, eery, strange song. The crowd can faintly hear the word “bilbo”.
    And then you all rip off your costumes, revealing brightly colored tight outfits, and Leonard Nemoy leaps onto the stage, and you all sing the Bilbo song. And the crowd goes wild.
    And then things really get wierd. The lights go off, and the music stops. Suddenly, a red spotlight opens up on the ceiling, and there he is; Willian Fing Shatner descending from the ceiling. He is angry, and wearing a suit fashioned from a thousand Yak fetus’. As he hits the stage, dry ice fills the stage with low smoke, and orange, red, and yellow floodlights open up from the ground. Red shirts begin swarming the stage, tripping over themselves, getting assimilated, crying, dying, being generally pathetic. And then you become the new, unknown Wesley Crusher, The Traveler. Everyone freezes, and the lights flash, pyrotechnics go off, and you prance angrily about the stage. And then, all goes black.
    The stage remains dark, untill a faint light opens up, revealing the side of a house, and a window. Inside that window is an old man. You. You gaze outward with hollow, unseeing eyes. You are sad, decrepid, mentally askew and ultimatly lost. In the background is an old PC, with the words “PORN” played out across it.
    And the crowd murmurs. Some will understand. Some will applaud. Some will cease to shield their childrens eyes. And then all the hardcore trekkies in the silly costumes will rush the stage, shouting war mantras. All will be good.)
    ~ Eric

  38. IN –
    Wil, you totally rawk. I’m proud to be a part of the posse. ‘Nuff said.
    -OUT

  39. We know you’re more than Star Trek.
    Maybe you feel conflicted about Trek conventions and the like because you’re afraid that, maybe, that’s all you are.

  40. Wil,
    YOU determine who you are. YOU determine your reality.
    Fuck everyone who says that you’re stuck in a revolving door, or that you need to leave Star Trek behind you, or that you need to keep going to Star Trek shows.
    It’s hard when you’re a public personality, because everyone feels they own you. So that’s not complete bullshit, because in choosing to be a public personality you took on the responsibility of having an effect on random people’s lives. And you handle the responsibility well – you’re obviously concerned about your fans, which is great. But Wil — YOU own you.
    Decide who you are, dude, and be that. Why is it so difficult to be Wil who is a wonderful, engaging writer, and hopefully will become moreso as he develops; who was and is a talented actor; who enjoys acting; who has found a talent in comedy; who was on Star Trek and goes to conventions when it fits into his schedule/career; who is a dedicated husband and father; etc etc etc…
    The point is, you can live in the present, plan for the future, and revisit the past however you like, and you know what? They won’t conflict.
    Look into yourself (you’re good at that), decide how much of a role you *feel* you want Star Trek to have in your life, at least for now, and just do it. No one will kill you if it changes in the future. But, in my opinion, if you truly go by your gut and your heart, and not by what people say or what you think you should do, it won’t change that quickly.

  41. I must admit Wil that i took your cut from the 15th anniversary personally as if I was slapped in the face with “your not a very big part of the trek family” crap. I felt ashamed, embarrased and let down as a fan. How could this happen to the prodigal son I thought after 4 years of service. So armed with my random hotmail account I let them have it. As someone said we stepped up to the plate for you now its time to hit a motherfucking homerun for us fans. Group hug? Where is spudnuts in this time or rejoice?

  44. Hey, no matter what you do, I still think you’re one of the most fantastic people I’ve ever come across in my life. And I’ve never even met you…
    Thanks for letting all of us into your life by way of your website, and thanks for Trek and thanks for saying what I’m normally only thinking.
    Rodger Poppeliers, the Netherlands

  46. Wil,
    Just go and enjoy it. Use the opportunity not only to enjoy a little nostalgia and meet some of the WWDN faithful, but to connect with people who have not heard what you are doing these days.
    I do the same thing every 5 years – it’s called a high school class reunion. For about 5 minutes every 5 years years I worry about the pounds I’ve put on. I worry about the life that others have. I think about how I was the somewhat geeky kid in high school. Then I just say “Fuck it – I’ve got more hair on my head than most, haven’t been through 5 marriages, don’t have a drug problem, didn’t die in a car wreck, et.al” I go, become a little nostalgic, and enjoy myself.
    Do the same – go, enjoy yourself, provide some entertainment for the fans, and make a couple bucks to buy dog food for Ferris.
    And if you really want to have some fun with The Establishment – sign autographs for FREE!
    And at the same time, see if you can’t expand your audience for your writing, or do that networking thing and renew old relationships or make new ones.
    And if you really want to put it all in perspective – WFS just did a political fundraiser in Cleveland, Ohio, for a candidate who is married to Kate Mulgrew. He showed up for about 5 minutes, and screwed up the candidates name on stage! Just don’t ever sink to that level.
    Regards,
    Dave

  47. Gosh, Wil, I’m so proud of you (which must sound so weird coming from someone you don’t know). You’re doing the right thing for the right reasons – for you.
    You don’t have to think of doing Trek things as a step backwards every time, y’know. It’s been a part of your life for how long now? And it will continue to be. It’s going to crop up again and again – but you can move forward and take new things to it every time it does. New things like reading your material, like getting down there and signing with the fans.
    I’ve been reading your site for some months now. I came here because you were Oh My God Wil Fucking Wheaton!!, but I stayed because you turned out to be this really nice, genuine, mixed-up geeky guy. So I’ll also take this opportunity to say thank you – thank you for letting us see your human side, thank you for letting us see you vulnerable and unsure. And thank you for sharing the warm, fuzzy family moments with us, too.

  48. BROKEN RECORD BELOW
    “As of April 5th, I have no speaking appearences lined up. ”
    PLEASE UPDATE, OR KILL THE LINK
    THANK YOU.

  49. yes! yes!! YES!!! We did it! For Wil, for us… I hope he figures out what he wants in life cos at the moment he seems stuck at a fork in the road. Just because he chooses to go one way, that doesn’t mean he can’t come back and also go the other way. If Wil decided that he didn’t want to do any more conventions ever again, we should respect that, because it would mean that he’s happy in what he chose, and that should make us happy 🙂

  50. Wil,
    Not being a Trekkie I’ve never been to one of the fan conventions and honestly wasn’t too interested in the idea, but I AM planning to buy a ticket and attend the one in Pasadena the night you’re signing, just to show Creation that Uncle Willie does indeed have a posse, and hopefully give your career a boost. And I’m not the only one.
    Think about that for a minute. People from your WWDN community who are NOT Trekkies are going to shell out 22 bucks and go to some wacky Star Trek convention on a Saturday night just to support your gig. In other words, you have a posse, Wil.
    I want to thank you for sharing so openly and honestly in our community. As you may recall I’m a graphic artist. I can relate to what you’re going through — my career is lagging a bit right now, projects are fewer and farther between, and don’t pay as well as they used to, but your blogs are helping me identify and work through a lot of the issues, and I’m realizing that the Most Important Thing ™ is that I am supporting myself with my art. That was always my dream, and I’m living it. Sure, maybe not in grand style, I still drive the same old car and live in the same old neighborhood, but dammit, I am making a living with my art. And you are making a living with your art. Never forget what a Big Deal ™ that is.
    Good luck with the convention and infomercial and whatever other gigs come your way.
    Mark

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