“Individually we can get angry. Together we can, and will, make a diference.”
I wrote those words recently, hoping to rally and inspire people to action.
I was talking about the rapid erosion of our free speech and parody rights on the internet, but that phrase applies to any movement, really.
One voice is easily ignored or silenced, but when other people add their voices to yours, you become a chorus not easily ignored.
It turns out that a lot of people got angry that I wouldn’t be attending the 15th anniversary of TNG celebration next month. It turns out that those voices joined together in emails, phone calls, internet postings and FAXes. It turns out that those voices became a chorus not easily ignored.
Thursday afternoon, I had a message on my machine from Adam Malin, president of Creation. He told me that he’d been “flooded” with emails, phone calls and FAXes. He said he’d read the internet postings, and he wanted to talk with me. He told me that he felt terrible, sick, and was very upset that I felt the way that I did. He was apologetic, and hoped I’d call him back so we could speak directly and if nothing else, clear the air.
When I set the phone down in it’s cradle, I was surprised to feel my hands shaking.
I was, quite honestly, stunned. Shocked. A phone call from a lawyer I would have expected. An angry phone call, maybe, given the rage people were expressing on message boards at my own site and elsewhere. But a personal, cordial, apologetic call? I just didn’t think it would happen.
I didn’t have a chance to call him back until yesterday, during my lunch hour at work. See, we’ve been busting our asses at Arena to pull together this HALO National Championship event, and yesterday was the culmination of weeks of 12 hour days, of hundreds if not thousands of individual hours of work.
So lunch comes, and I phoned him.
I apologized for not calling him back right away. I explain to him that we’re working on this special, and it’s maxed out my internal CPU.
Before I can say anything, he apologizes again for not talking to me directly, and letting his underlings deal with me instead.
He tells me that he has never thought of me as “not part of the family.”
I tell him that I have been given the impression from everyone at Creation, even the people with whom I am friends, that there are “levels,” and it (rightly) goes: Captains, Data, everyone else…then there was me.
I tell him that I’ve felt marginalized, and treated like my contributions to Trek weren’t important to him, Creation, the fans, or Paramount.
He apologizes again, tells me again that he doesn’t feel that way. Tells me that he wanted to make it right. He wants to have me at that convention.
I am stricken by how genuine he seems. I am beginning to feel badly for not going over the heads of his employees and speaking directly to him, myself.
I also notice something that is a new feeling to me, as far as Star Trek goes: I’m being treated like an adult. Treated with respect, spoken to fotrhrightly and candidly.
This may seem like an overstatement of the glaringly obvious, but even though I am thirty years old, I still feel like I’m “the kid” where Trek is concerned. Not feeling that way is something new to me, and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
Adam tells me that he has heard great things about my sketch group. He’s heard that they are fabulous, and the fans really love the show we do. He tells me that he wants to hire them for the show, wants me to speak at the show, and he really wants to make it work out.
I tell him that there wasn’t time to get the group together now, and produce a quality show. He is really upset about that. He asks me if I’d be willing to get my group together for Grand Slam 2003.
I notice that we’re having a cordial, comfortable conversation. It’s like we’ve both been stung. Me by the posture taken during the previous negotiation, and him by the vitriolic rebuke from the fans. He seems to genuinely feel badly that my feelings were so hurt, and I get the palpable impression that he wants to make things right.
He asked me again if I’d be willing to do the show for a very reasonable fee, just a little bit below what I was asking for before negotiations broke down last month.
I am immdediately torn.
I think about this thing that someone said in the comments yesterday: “If you turn your back on Trek one more time, I’m buying you a revolving door.”
I think hard about that. It burns inside me.
I dont know what to do.
On the one hand, I want Trek behind me.
On the other hand, it will never be behind me no matter what, because, let’s face it: Trek was and is HUGE. Bigger than me. Bigger than I will ever be in my (stalled and slowing) acting career.
After I’d gotten the first phone call from Adam, I talked it over with Travis (from Arena) who is a very good friend of mine. Knows me very, very well.
Told him I’m having mixed feelings about it. I can think of reasons to do the show, and reasons to not do the show.
He asked me why I didn’t want to do it.
I gave him some reasons, pro and con.
He asked me if I was happy writing.
I told him I was.
He asked me if I liked being on stage.
I told him that I did.
He asked me why I could possibly not want to be onstage in front of people who want to like me, and read my work to the same. He reminded me of the sketch shows we’ve done together at conventions, and how we have always felt great afterwards.
He asks me again why I can’t embrace Star Trek as something wonderful that I was part of, and at the same time continue to move forward as an actor and writer.
I couldn’t answer him.
Pride? Fear?
I don’t fucking know.
The people on the ‘net have rallied around me about this. The fans have raged at Creation, and Creation listened.
But there’s that revolving door. I’m stuck in it, big time.
I think of this email I got where a guy said he felt like I was trying to convince myself that it is okay to be booted from Star Trek things. He’s right.
I think of a comment where a guy criticizes me for being so angst-ridden about Star Trek, accuses me of being full of shit, says he can see right through me.
He has a point too. I meant what I said about being cut from the film. But having the safety bubble burst? Well, I’m still standing in it’s remains, hoping I can find a way to refill it, just in case. Setting Wesley free, embracing a sense of freedom? I meant that, as well.
I feel like I have grown older, and changed. But I feel unfulfilled, unsure, and I know that the last few months of entries here have focused on that. Maybe I’m giving way too much weight to the comment of one random person who didn’t even have the courage to put an email address with the anonymous comment. For all I know I could be biting on the biggest troll ever.
But there is truth to what that anonymous poster said. I’m torn. I am caught in a revolving door, and I don’t know what will happen, and I am filled with angst, and that feeling is burning inside of me, keeping me awake at night, distracting me every minute of every day. It’s burning in me so fiercely, so hot and insistent, that I have lost perspective. I can’t make objective decisions and weigh the pros and cons effectively.
So I seek counsel from some very good friends of mine. Some people who I really trust and respect. I write to them what I’ve written above, with the following pros and cons:
Pros:
- Fans will be ecstatic that Creation listened, that they fought for me and won.
- Fans will be happy to see me in person.
- I’ll earn money for my family and be able to perform what I love to do for an audience who *FINALLY* wants to like me.
Cons:
- That revolving door feeling, and the fear of a massive backlash from…well, I’m not sure who, but backlash nevertheless.
It seems pretty slam-dunk, right? I should do the show and feel great about it. But it’s not that easy for me. I am extremely conflicted, until I get the following responses:
“This could not be easier, but that’s really because I’m not you.
You don’t have a choice, man. When you just had a few little tiny hairs, something in you nailed that part of the “kid that was to be forever hated”(tm).
I honestly believe that you were hated because everyone wanted to be like you and because you were a fucking kid in an adult world and there was a new crowd suddenly attracted–nevermind that we’ve got the black guy with the hairclip on his eyes and a Klingon on the ship…not to mention that fucking hot Martina bitch.
No, you were the biggest oddball, and you didn’t have a clue what was happening to you, no matter how fucking smart you were–and Wil, you’re no dumb guy.
Hell, you know I know that you’re a million times harder on yourself than anyone else could be in a single day.
You’ve managed to take all the asshole things you did when you were younger and attempt to make right on them.
Again, if you’re at all like me, you probably get irate if you catch yourself littering because of the Karma Train that’ll come back to hit you if you cause some old guy somewhere some extra effort to clean up your mess, even if it’s his job.
Damn, man. I know what you’re doing…I do it, too.
So, you think you’d be compromising or something if you went and changed your mind and went back to the show.
I don’t. You’re going to enjoy it. People like you.
You looked in the face of a thousand-million internetters and said, “Hey, I’m a fucking human like you, I’ve been a dick, it’s not right, this is what I did and this is what I think now. Sorry; won’t happen again.”
People like you, man. In fact, you’re probably not even capitalizing off of all the Internet Momentum(tm) you’ve gained in the past year. Shit, Wil, people all over the place NOW LIKE YOU. Let’s face it, you’ve only gotten limited access to those auditions, but how many magazines, newspapers, tv shows, etc. have you been on because you’re a fucking computer geek-boy now?
You want my point-blank, in-your-fucking-face opinion right now?
Too bad, I’m giving it to you anyway.
For starters, go there.
Go there in a big fucking “in your face, but I’m still just lil ol’ Wil” way. Have the fucking time of your life–do it FOR YOU for the fans, not for the fans. These people want to see you–and even if they say something negative, just laugh it off like water on a duck and say, “Cool, but you know, you really don’t know me” and know that you’ve won in that statement alone.
Then, Mr. Man, I think you need to start doing something to have the voices of these hundreds of thousands of souls who, together, are not only fucking bright when they’re not trolling, but who are also strong-minded and very likely to do something about making you an actor.
???
Yeah. You’ve got a fucking posse, man.
Truer words could not be said. Now, what does it fucking take to get all of these people together to say in a single voice, “We Want Wil” and have them get you back on screen?
I don’t have the answer there, but I guarantee you that I’m going to be the first person to try and figure it out…people want to see you. People are rooting for you all over the place and you don’t even know it because you’ve let yourself become accustomed to not being quite so famous.
But, dammit, man, you’re the movie-star guy that’s “just like me…holy shit!” and you’re an underdog. You’re the guy that people want to see get some momentum behind and get to the top–and then remember each and every one of them on the way up and once you get there, because, no one does that. Everyone forgets that one little geek that didn’t have to show up at the con and ask for your autograph…who made it there for you and saved money to go.
If you forget him, he’ll take you down as quickly as he put you up there, and you know that very well, my friend. They taught you that already.
You’re a blessed man. Don’t forget that. I’ll never be on a G4 network or on a game show, and that’s cool, but believe me, I’d want to do it in a heartbeat. You, on the other hand, can do it with your eyes closed–and that’s true. G4 is your stepping stone, in case you hadn’t noticed that just yet.
Let me wrap up with something that Michael Jordan once said: “Every night when I go out on the court, I think about that father and son out there who are seeing me play basketball–and that’s the only reason they’re here. This might just be their only chance. Sometimes, I even wish I could trade places with them because of the great feeling–the great moment this is for them. Every night when I go out on the court, I play my best…for them.”
So, get your black-ass out on the court. Hit the fucking circuits and get busy busy busy, man. No fucking infomercial is going to be your death, so get that fucking preconceived notion out of your head and put the rubber to the road.
Dunno; maybe you’ll be pissed at some of this, but the truth is, I don’t care about that. I care about the fact that you SEEM to be letting some of your potential wash-away from you, and you’re too good for that.
Look, I don’t know all that goes on, so that obviously makes me very uninformed, but if this is my opinion of you, then imagine what other people must feel if they’re your fans? You’ve become an icon all over again, believe it or not.”
Another friend said:
“I just talked to [his wife, who is very wise] about it, who had this to say:
First off, she thinks you should do it (for reasons I’ll get into in a second).
But the big thing (again, still her talking) is that you should do this for you.
Whatever you decide, right now, it’s gotta be for you, and not because X amount of people will judge you for doing it or not doing it.
If you feel it’s right for you, and will benefit your family, and your writing, and gain some recognition for you, AND you’ll get to see some old Trek buddies again, and that’s what you want, then you gotta do that thing.
But don’t do it if you now feel pressured by the fans to do it.
And don’t NOT do it because you’re afraid of what the fans will think.
Whatever you do, do it because you, you personally need to.
Okay, here’s where I start talking.
To put this in some perspective, I remember a time when Shatner wouldn’t do the con thing. There was a period between the cancellation of the series and the first movie where he wouldn’t even mention Star Trek in interviews (which was actually kind of surreal).
That said, he came back, did the movies and lives very well off of them and off of the additional fame from a new audience not as familiar with the series.
Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on.
Once you accept that, the audience accepts you…and paradoxically, on your own terms.
See, this whole “Turn Your Back On Trek” thing, if you let thatget to you…how do I put this?
If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do.
And, while we’re putting our cards on the table, here, I think that you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive. As a former convention-goer, the Trek (or otherwise) speakers who I thought were the coolest were the ones who accepted that Trek was the reason they were there and why we were there, as opposed to the guys who seemed weirded out or perplexed that anyone gave a shit.
Not that you’d be that way–I’m talking about an initial attitude going in, not the handling of the experience from that point on.
As far as you feeling that you’re renegging on what you said in your post…and here’s some perspective:
The situation is different now.
It’s not that they called you, snubbed you, and you’re going back anyway to eat shit for the peanuts.
It’s that they contacted you, snubbed you initially, then realized they misjudged your appeal (and ability to bring in a LOT of new people) and finally were willing to meet you on terms you could accept.
I’m not gonna lie and say that some people won’t be assholes and call sour grapes on you for “singing a different tune.”
Expect it. I know you are.
You’ve been down this path before. We all know you have.
I mean, it’s great publicity for the website, and for Arena, and for you. You will have an ability to connect with the fans again–but this time it’ll be a little different, because you’re probably going to see more people you know you from the site–and Malin knows that.”
Mixed in with all of this, I got an email from a really nice woman who organized fans to share their outrage about this. Creation reverses themselves … PLEASE do go, otherwise IMO Creation will win, as they can say you turned THEM down after they met your (original) terms or soemthing like that. Then promote the hell out of the convention on your website. Perhaps if Creation and the others see how powerful you and your website is, they just MIGHT sit up and take notice, and I’m not just talking about conventions here, but perhaps it might help you in other ways (as yet unseen) as well.
I’m calling for a campaign here to do right by you … ’cause I think it stinks. NO one messes with the Wil Wheaton, or they’ll find that they have the ‘Possee’ as you call us, to contend with, and I suspect we are a much MORE powerful together, than Creation realizes.
I’m doing this for you, cause I think you are a neat guy … but also mostly because, remember, I’ve been a Trekkie longer than you’ve been around (before you were born), and this is now really got me STEAMED how on their High Horse that Creation has gotten of late.”
So. I think long and hard about these things, and still I feel heavily conflicted.
I revisit those pros and cons, and think to myself:
I’d love to have a chance to read some of my stuff for an audience who would really “get” it.
I’d love to go in front of fans who, for the first time EVER **LIKE** me.
But that revolving door is spinning, and I don’t know how I can face the people who said “Good for you! Leave Star Trek behind you forver!”
Well, right now, the absolute truth is, as my friend said:
“Because I think there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that This Thing You Did Back When is a part of you that’s always going to be there. It’s like Sue Olson (the actress who played Cindy Brady) once said–you have to accept that people will always think of you as that character, because only then can you really move on. “
That’s the freedom I was referring to in the last part of The Wesley Dialogues.
“If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do… you shouldn’t look at not turning your back on Trek and finding your own voice as being mutually exclusive.”
Well, I’m going to wrestle with that last one for awhile, I think, and WWDN readers can expect more angst in the months to come. Sorry, it’s just part of the process. There are hundreds of great weblogs to read, and lots of pretty trees to look at outside if you’d rather not read that stuff here.
Well, this is 9 pages now, so I think it’s time to get back to the point:
Adam and I talk.
It is a good, long, honest, respectful talk.
We clear the air.
He tells me that his profit margin on the Vegas show was not several million dollars. He tells me that it was very, very slim, relative to his investment, which was nearly half a million dollars.
He tells me that he didn’t want me at the Grand Slam on stage because he wanted to hold off until the 15th show. He thought it would be cooler if he waited to have me come on then.
He tells me that he had no idea about my website, or about how the fans felt about me now.
He asks me if I’d reconsider.
I reconsider. I replay all those emails in my head, I balance the pros and cons, and I say to him,
“Adam. I am really conflicted about this. I feel like each time I do a Star Trek event, it’s…well, it’s not necessarily a step backwards, but it certainly isn’t a step forwards, but I feel like I should listen to the voice of the fans. We should all listen to the voice of the fans, because that voice has been increasingly silenced over the last decade.
I love to perform, and I would like to give something back to the fans. I would love to attend the event, and be part of the celebration, but I’d also like to share some of my writing with the fans. Would you be able to put me in an evening spot, so I can read somet things that I’ve written?”
“Is it funny?” He asks me.
“It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s bittersweet…it’s really a reflection of the person I am, and people seem to respond to it.”
“Can I book your comedy group for Grand Slam in 2003?”
“Yes. I’d love to bring my guys out. We love to perform.”
We talk about fees, and we agree on a very fair fee, which is right on par with the rest of the actors.
I will do a question and answer session at the convention, and I will bring selections of my writing, and read them for the audience during and evening program.
I ask him for one more thing. I tell him that I have more in common with the fans now than I do with the actors, and I keep hearing how the fans are getting the in-person-autograph shaft these days.
I want him to put my autograph table in an area where I can sit for a few hours, so all the fans can get their stuff signed, so I can talk with people who are so inclined.
He tells me that he’d really like that. Many actors just won’t do that, and he thinks it would be great.
I feel very good about this conversation, and I feel very excited to be part of this celebration.
Resolution? It’s a long ways off. That’s why they call it “angst.”
But there is something wonderful buried in all of this:
I doubt I would have gotten this phone call if there hadn’t been such a loud and immediate response from the fans.
You spoke up on my, and your, behalf, and your voice was heard.
Think about that for a moment.
Your voice was heard. You made a difference. Creation is the 800 pound gorilla of conventions. They don’t have to listen to anyone.
But they listened to you. They listened to us.
That, my friends, is huge, and everyone who is reading this gets to own part of that.
I strongly suggest that you take a moment, and phone, write, FAX, or email Adam or Gary or whomever at Creation, and thank them for hearing your voices.
And if you come to the 15th show, please, please, please seek me out and introduce yourself. I’d like to know you.
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Hey Wil…
The Creation website for the 15th event now has you all over it!!!!
***Power to the People!***
LeeB
Posted by Nic Gould 4eva at September 1, 2002 02:30 AM :
You know, the only person who can please everyone does nothing.
No words were better said my friend.
Hops,
I admire your gusto for wanting to kick the large flatulent ass of the BFA Creation Convention- but for Wil to ignore what the WWDN Posse has done and kick them in the teeth for their efforts?
Hell no.
In the end it’s the people who count.
Now let’s hope none of the haters get Ellison-like with a cup of warm vomit.
Then it’s time to bring the unholy keg of whoop ass.
Ah.. sidenote- Wil! Big Idea for next family vacation-
New River Gorge White Water Rafting.
I just got back… there are no words describe how cool and fun it was to almost die a watery death in the world’s second oldest river!
-MKF
Great, Wil! Sorry I won’t be able to make the convention (it’s a long way from NC!) but I’m glad you are going! Wesley was a part (not all!) of your career and you should embrace it but not let it rule your future. Hell, my favorite movie of yours is still DEEP CORE! Stop dying in movies, dammit! Python, Deep Core…enough already! 🙂 One more thing — stop all of this about your “fading” career! Hell, I’m writing Leno next and telling him he needs you as a guest on the Tonight Show! That would be Great!!! Just remember one thing you said that was most true –YOUR FANS LIKE YOU AND ALWAYS HAVE!!!!!!
Hi Wil, congratulations!!
8-31 I’m say: YOUR GOLD MOMENT IS VERY NEAR.
I’m sorry I can’t go, I’m in Spain
GOOD LUCK!
On angst…
I supposed Charlie Brown feels angst running up to kick the ball that Lucy PROMISES she won’t pull away at the last minute as she has every other time. (“…he said, dating himself.”)
On indecision…
Like Yogi Berra said, when you come to a fork in the road, you’ve got to take it 🙂
Wil, I read your post with great interest yesterday, and since I was working, I never got to post till now. Anyway the only advice that I would like to give you is, I too have been on that line of conflict a few times. I have lived to live for myself, and not give a damn what anyone thinks of me, or what I choose to do. I am not saying I don’t do things without considering others feelings, but do what is best for me still. You Wil need to stop worrying about what your fans, Creation, Paramount, and Hollywood in general think of you and how you choose to live your life. The only people you need to make happy is yourself and your family. I understand that as an actor that part of your job is making other people happy and to provide entertainment, but they still need to except you for you, info commercial or a million dollar star studded movie. I may not agree with all the things you do or say, just like you may not like this post, but I respect your opinions and your freedom to choose your own path! I really enjoy the person that you are, even in those younger years, I never judged, just enjoyed. Thank You!
Wil,
While it’s your decision and your fans will support you, you got treated abhorrently the first time around, no matter how “sick” Mr. Malin feels about it. It’s obvious that Creation originally didn’t take you or your role seriously, and for him to call and apologize for that after a flood of fan outrage speaks to his crisis intervention management methodology for marketing promotion gone haywire. Frankly, you’re a much nicer person than I’d have been in your position. Oh, and one more thing? It’s a common negotiating tactic to tell you what the profit margin is for an event like this (enlists your sympathy and understanding) and allows him to get you at below what you’re asking for. If you cool with it, that’s great, but I believe you got played.
bex
Oh, good job Wil! 🙂 That was one of the best posts I’ve ever read! Made me want to do things that I’ve been afraid to do. I’m inspired 😉
Good luck at the conventions! I’m sure you’ll do WONDERFULLY!
Amazing, of Adam’s comment that he never knew about Wil’s Website, and thus in effect, Wil’s ‘Posse’/following.
Suggestion to those fellow WWDN posse members, LUCKY enough to be able to be attending the ST:TNG 15th Anniversary convention and who get to meet Wil Wheaton in person … seek out Adam and/or Gary and let them know YOU are there BECAUSE of Wil Wheaton!
Favorite quote in here is ….
“800 pound gorilla, meet the WWDN posse!”
How true, how VERY VERY true!
Party on dude!
Marcellus Wallace: I think you’re gonna find, when all this shit is over, I think you’re gonna find yourself one smiling motherfucker. The thing is, Butch, right now you got ability. But painful as it may be, ability don’t last. And your days are just about over. Now that’s a hard motherfuckin’ fact of life, but that’s a fact of life your ass is gonna have to get realistic about. See, this business is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don’t. Besides, Butch, how many fights do you think you got in you anyhow? Two? Boxers don’t have an Old Timers Place. You came close but you never made it. And if you were gonna make it, you would have made it before now. (holds out the envelope of cash to Butch, but just out of his reach) You’re mine, dig?
Butch: It certainly appears so. (takes the envelope)
Marcellus: Night of the fight, you might feel a slight sting. That’s pride fuckin’ with you. Fuck pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps. You fight through that shit. ‘Cause a year from now, when you kicking it in the Caribbean, you gonna say to yourself, “Marcellus Wallace was right.”
Butch: I got no problem with that, Mr. Wallace.
Marcellus: In the 5th, your ass goes down. (Butch nods silently) Say it.
Butch: In the 5th, my ass goes down.
What Would Wil Wheaton Do?
Wil,
Since you’ll be at Creation, why not ask your WWDN readers who show up.. to wear a “Hello my name is: WWDN” lable.. or whatever to signify they ARE readers of the site? It’ll help you to identify them more easily, and you can give each one a HUGE smile as they approach ;p plus they can find eachother in the crowds 🙂
Also,
Who knows.. maybe it’s just me.. but on the Creation site, regarding your appearence it says:
“WIL WHEATON – Saturday (Wil will sign autographs for all convention attendees)”
and.. since they normally consider signing autographs to be a pain in the ascii, even though it’s what you said you wanted.. they’re looking at it as a backhanded offering? hrm..
Anyway, I’m a very part time reader so I likely won’t see the response to this. Have fun, and damn it.. stop worrying. I don’t read WWDN much because of all the .. angst. But hey, that’s just me.. you’ve got a ton of female readers and to any guy, that’s respectable!
-iNT
P.S. for all you English majors out there.. NO.. I don’t care about my spelling, grammar.. proper use of punctuation.. or what have you. So, if you still feel the uncontrollable urge to correct people’s posts.. do it knowing that for mine.. I don’t give a crap. 8^|
These entries are getting too long! 🙂
Can’t make it to creation, i’m on another continent. sorry
Wil,
I think the majority of us are happy with you doing whatever you want to do. (within reason of course :)). So if you want to give up acting, that’s still fine. You just have to remember this Trek thing.
You can go to this convention, meet the fans, and have a great time. But you don’t have to think of it as yet another stepping stone. You can still think of it as something you’re doing for fun. opening yourself up to startrek doesn’t mean you can’t be a writer anymore. sure I’d love to have seen you in the movie, or in other movies, but I’ll also buy Wil Wheaton – The Book ™. I’m happy to support you in whatever you do, cos you’re a funny guy 🙂
Going to conventions doesn’t automatically mean you’re still trying to be an actor. It means you were a part of Trek. I think a lot of your fans will be there to see Wil Wheaton the person, rather than Wil Wheaton, red-shirt guy #6 in episode 57. You’re a person to us now 🙂
That said, you pick the worst dates for public appearances. I’m moving the weekend of that Con, so I can’t go. 🙁 hopefully your fan turnout is amazing, and they see it. I’ll try to plan for going to Grand Slam 2003.
Congratulations on being part of the family again!!
Cheers,
Dave
I love what the internet can do, and i especially love this little part of it. Good on ya Wil!
Dude! Don’t agonize so much. Get with the flow. Life is too short for all the if-only woulda coulda shoulda round-and-round we go endlessly second-guessing ourselves in a kind of dizzying dance to nowhere. Geez already and you’re only 30! What’s it gonna be like at 60?!?!
Give it a rest. Just be who you are and who would be. Life’s an experience. No one can make it perfect, a priori, else there’d be no need for the experience. Lighten up!
And I think you should do the convention. Well, I don’t know what you *should* do; I have enough to do figuring out what I should do. But do the convention. Your fans will be happy to see you. You will have made your point with the producers but not reversed your position by saying “never mind” in a huff (no one likes that). You’ll earn some bread. You’ll have fun. What’s bad? Just have fun.
I must say, though, that I find your personal candor quite refreshing.
Good luck in all you do. May the gods smile sweetly upon you and yours.
zargon
excellent news…
i was one of the many that sent in an email, asking why they were so short sighted as to not have you at the convention..
nice to see that we CAN make a difference…
inside, i’ve always felt that was true..
but it’s pretty awesome when you get to see it like this…
making a difference in someone’s life…
we’re all extreemly happy for wil….
now go….go with a smile….and have the time of your life…
man…
something like this must be a hell of an affirmation of your life and work as an actor..
to know that you have the kind of fans that not only appreciate your work…but would take the time to actually help you out in a situation like this…
i guess it’s because we know you appreciate us right back…
and to us, that makes all the difference…
cheers wil
tyson
Wil,
Way to go!! That’s awesome and I hope to possibly make it out to the convention.
All the best,
Way to go, Wil! Hope you and the members of the posse who can attend have an EXCELLENT time. Share the funny, and soak up the love. And don’t be so hard on yourself. Everybody’s life sucks, just in a variety of different ways.
I’ll add my voice to the chorus: don’t take a DIME less than what you think is a fair price for doing these cons (compare it to what the other TNG actors get). Malin’s been in business a long time, and knows exactly how to play the sympathy piano to get what he wants. He’s not doing this ’cause he feels bad. The only thing he feels bad about is that hundreds of fans clogged up his e-mail and his fax machine. He sees you and your fans as a source of more dough in his pocket – the same way he’s always looked at his con speakers and the fans. His profit margin in Vegas was “very slim”? Ooh, how many different ways can I say “bullshit”? Hang tough, Wil, and don’t let him play you. Tell him what you feel you’re worth, and don’t cave.
Wil,
I don’t know if you’ll read this since it’s post #165 but here it goes…
Your friend was bang on.
#1: In the end its YOUR decision. You have to do what’s best for you.
(and I think you made the right one)
#2: Essentially, “resistance is futile”.
#3:”If you don’t do it because you have to Turn Your Back On Trek, well, then you’re not really turning your back on Trek–you’re still letting the Trek thing dictate what you do”
I agree with this and with the fact that acceptance of Wesley is important. You’ll never be totally rid of Wesley so why fight it? My feeling is that it takes more energy to fight than accept.
Remember a few things:
-Bad publicity is better than NO publicity (arguably so).
-Use these opportunities to shamelessly promote what you’re doing now!
-Star Trek can still be a springboard. Take advantage of it, don’t fight it.
-Informercials don’t HAVE to be the death of actors. Chuck Norris has been selling the Total Gym for years and has been acting in that time. You’re unique. Don’t think that because some actors careers have fizzled because of infomercials, yours will do (and was the fizzling really directly related to infomercials? Methinks that someone is biased). If you think positively than you won’t end up with a self-fulfilled prophecy.
I don’t know why people used to pick on Wes. Maybe because he was such an easy target? Make him a hard target, Wil. I wish I could tell you how.
It’s amazing to read your blog and see the self-evolution. A friend of mine was recently telling me how 2 years of blogging has helped him immensely, saving his marriage and helping him be who he is today. I see that your blog has that kind of effect on you (minus the marriage thing). If you need to be angsty, be angsty. We’re here for you, Wil. Friends, strangers, fans, ‘net addicts, acquaintances, etc. You’ve opened up to us. You’ve shown your vulnerability in public. You’ve been real and accessible. Opening yourself up to anyone at any time is risky and you’ve chosen to do it in a very public forum (which might not seem so public when you’re sitting in a room alone typing to faceless people in front of computer monitors). That takes courage and strength.
You have a great head on your shoulders. The deal that you made with Creation sounds ideal. As I keep telling you, have faith in yourself. We do.
If you ever do a show in Toronto or are in town for some other reason, I will seek you out to say hi, shake your hand and tell you how much I respect you. You are an amazing person, Wil Wheaton.
Forgot two more things:
Wil wrote: “I’d love to go in front of fans who, for the first time EVER **LIKE** me.”
Now, now, Wheaton, you know you had fans before! (at least two or three… :P) You deserve to be smacked for selling yourself short. OTOH humility is a more accepting trait than the alternative.
Roughy wrote: “More of them should read UnrealisticExpectations.com so I can get a posse.” And THAT is how Shameless Self Promotion is done. Everyone, take notes from Roughy.
(Oooh! Oooh! Can I be in that posse?? I like UE and have a little innocuous crush on Roughy. 😀 )
Wil, you are the only person on the face of this planet who could get me to consider going to a trek convention. I’ve never seen a single episode or movie, but I love reading your website. Hope to see you there!
Fuck.
What a brilliant entry, and what a bloody amazing response from Creation.
Congratulations to you, and to every one of us, and thank you for being so humble as to acknowledge the impact the fans made, and thank you for realising after some personal melodrama (yes, Wil, you’re a drama queen *lol*) that a lot of the fans do love you.
You know something, the “I hate Wesley’ crowd were probably far smaller than you gave them credit for. I honestly don’t know if that’s true or not – I was unpopular with my friends because I thought Wesley was great… I wanted to BE Wesley, but it’s funny how a few idiots can make a really loud noise.
In my honest opinion, you’re way too head bound. Get out of your brain for a while, stop intellectualising, and embrace the world without the need to analyse every second of every moment you have.
Star Trek is something extraordinary, and you being a part of that, being accepted to be a part of that, is a blessing that may sometimes seem a curse, but in the end it’s all good.
Your friend who said “the best guests at Cons were the ones who seemed to be grateful they were there, and to understand the fans…” is right. What better way to honour the fans than to not condescend to them, and to show them that you’re as enthusiastic about this phenomena as they are.
Stop undercutting yourself, you’re too great a guy for that.
The Universe is teaching you an important lesson, Mr Wheaton, don’t make the mistake of ignoring what it has to say.
Take care of yourself, and be far gentler with your sense of who you are, and why you are, and accept the fact you’re a wonderful, special man.
You’ve had some upsets this year for a reason, and maybe that reason is the obvious possibility – to grow, to mature, to change, and to finally be free.
Wil, just thought you might be interested in my story. I’m but a young lad of 17, but when I was little I remember watching TNG. Not, for example, with a parent who was also a fan (I’m the only one in my family who likes sci-fi), but as my own personal 7-yr-old programming choice. I was even Data for Halloween once. I don’t remember much about the show from then since I probably didn’t understand most of the plot, but I now watch the reruns on TNN. The thing is, however, that I came to be a fan of your work through this website before I ever started watching trek again. I don’t read the things you post and think of the character Wesley, but instead the reverse: I watch the show and see you at around my age, and think about how neat it is that you now have a family and are such a cool guy. Thanks for this site. –Gregg
Wil,I was sad when I read the two posts prior to this one, cause I thought it rude and cruel to treat you in the fashion in which you were treated. I thought your posts, however, showed great strength and maturity in dealing with the situation. That’s why I am posting now, at the end of your TERRIFIC post. See? When we are gracious and deal with what we are given with class, we DO get rewarded. I am glad the reward came so quickly to you. Ryan and Nolan have a great stepdad. If you do get a chance, do a con out on the East Coast. My husband and I and the kids would love to meet you. Yes, we’re all Trekkies in this family, from TOS on.
I think it’s very good of you to say you want to sit at the signing table, and take time to talk to the fans, and to pose for pictures etc with them.
ALL Star Trek actors should be like that.
Sadly, some are miserable gits (Especially one with the initials “W” and “S”). But others, who take time out to talk to you, like George Takei, and Aron Ensberg will be remembered with great, great fondness for years to come.
Other actors who will no doubt obtain a fee far larger than yours, it’ll be a case of “Yeah, I got his signature. He was a complete jerk, and wouldn’t even let me take a photo!”.
With you, it’ll be “Cool guy, I hated Wesley Crusher – but Wil Wheaton was a nice chap who signed, and took time out for a short chat…. I like him, and I’d go and see him in a movie, or in theatre, or doing a Q&A elsewhere…”
Well done Wil!
So – Will you be attending Creaton’s London Convention this January????? It’d be very good to meet you in person!
Regards,
iain
Jesus, dude, you’ve got your own pack of Fremen waiting to jihad the fucking galaxy for you. Stop with the angst and start slitting some throats. Figuratively speaking, of course.
Hey, I’ll be there with you in spirit 🙂
I’m glad you’re going 🙂
It’s one thing to turn your back on a business that tuned their backs on you. It’s another to turn your back on your fans. I’m so glad that you are doing this convention, Wil! Have a blast! 🙂
Star Trek is always going to be part of your past. It had its good and bad points for you and impacts on your life. If you still enjoy being involved with the fans, then that’s what is important. As for the revolving door issue, you’re a person. It’s hard to make these big decisions. When it comes down to it, you have felt different ways about Star Trek at different times. And that’s normal and expected. It’s about how you feel, not about how someone else expects you to feel. You need to take the information and make the best decision at the time, always keeping in mind that new information leads to changed decisions. And if anyone doesn’t like that or looks down on you for that, that’s their problem and not yours. Good luck at Creation. I hope it turns out to be as much fun as you hope!
hey, don’t know if you are gonna read this far on the post, but
you can go back and forth on this for the rest of your life.
the best thing is to make this decision for yourself, not for your fans, not for your career, but for yourself.
once you can determine what that is, then the decision will be clear.
if you think you can walk away from trek, you are wrong. so many of your co-workers have discovered this, some for better some for worse.
embrace the monster, wil.
what matters is that you do what you love. it sounds to me like you would love being a part of trek, no matter what the cost. and since there is some element of respect in the way that they are treating you, why not persue it?
i think that the real reason you are conflicted is that it’s gonna be hard, damn hard to continue a relationship w/ trek.
don’t base your decision on fear, worry, anxiety. it won’t work – you will be faced with the same conflict again and again until you figure it out.
base your decision on growth, respect, experience gained and love.
may the force be with you
Damn Wil, you break my heart! It hurts me to see that you have so little confidence in your abilities and character.
The Trek things aren’t a step back, they never will be. They also aren’t all you are. I’ve never been a big Trekkers fan, it’s not my deal. I came on this sight because a friend recommended it-“Hey, there’s this guy from the states…Wil Wheaton, you know the guy”. I thought I might as well give you a shot. The only thing of yours I’d ever seen was Stand By Me (bravo on that count by the way). I didn’t need to be a big fan when I first logged on because, after I left, you’d made me a fan for life.
We love you now because we get to see a glimmer of your soul everyday, not because of how many BIG films you’ve done. We don’t give a damn, you shouldn’t either.
Be happy.
Annie
Wil,
I won’t be at the 15th show, but hope to attend something of yours, someday.
I respect your angst. 🙂
Hi, Wil. I’ve been telling all my friends about your site and what a cool guy you are. Some have checked out your site and even posted a comment.
I was about to go out last night and I checked your site one last time. Look, in “I see another hurdle approaching,” here’s a comment from Wil. “But I spoke with Adam Malin today, and it was a good, long (took up my whole lunch hour) conversation. I guess the Voice of the Fans was too loud to be ignored. More tomorrow.” Ack! I’m going to a party, I’ll miss the post. So at this party, I telll my freinds how Creation treated you. They are angry, indignant. “But, wait. Wil said he talked to Adam Malin and Wil says the Voice of the Fans was too loud to be ignored, so maybe something good has happened.” So at this pary, we bring out a laptop and check out your site. And there’s the Continuing Saga of Wil’s Life ™.
We are all happy for you, Wil. We are proud of the folks who took time to contact Creation and make their voices heard. We cheer as you took a stand and the results have been positive. We acknowledge Creation’s maketing savvy to say, we goofed, we didn’t understand your popularity, can we work this out?
From what you’ve posted, you’ve got some really great friends, Wil. They said exactly what I was thinking, but I would have never been able to put all that into words myself. I just kept nodding my head, yes! yes! You gotta do this for you, not the fans. You will always be associated with Star Trek, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. But as Shatner and Nimoy found out, they can live with it. You can, too. Because you are so much more than just Star Trek. Trek is behind you. But you don’t have to forget it. You can still be a great writer, an actor, a husband, a step-father, an advocate, whatever, too.
We are *your* fans, Wil. Not just Wesley Crusher fans (although I’m a fan of Wes), or Wil the tech guy, or Wil the comedy troop guy or Gordy fans. We are fans of Wil, of the guy living with the ups and downs of life. Who let’s us see a little bit (or actually, quite a bit) of himself and, along the way, makes me take a look at myself.
Peace. You deserve it.
Wow! What a testament to your fans’ loyalty! It’s inspiring. 🙂
I’m glad you ultimately decided to do it. I understand your conflict, and I think you did well in finding a kind of comfortable middle-ground. And it’s fantastic that you’re setting up a table! I’ve only been to one event where autographs were available, and it’s downright discouraging to see stars selling a limited number of tickets to their autograph signings. We commoners hardly have a prayer of a close-up glimpse of our favorite stars.
I wish we could make it to the con. Unfortunately, a cross-country trip, a stay in Pasadena, and entry to the con are impossible right now.
Wil, you RAWK.
Way to go Wil!
Now, I’m with the rest…get up here to Toronto…
Wil,
Great to hear that Creation has been ‘convinced’.
However, that is not the end of the story is it ! It seems that what is troubling you is not this whole Trek thing – or Creation, this is just the symptom but not the cause. I reckon you are asking yourself *what is Wil Wheaton going to do? I have this website thing which is enormously popular and gets thousands of visitors and is almost world famous, everyone who visits it says how great I am – but somehow my career in acting is looking straight down the throat of infomercials.*
So there is the dilemma. Do you struggle on trying to make a living acting, or maybe write some scripts, or something else ? How can you use this sites success and translate it into something that is actually going to make $$$.
What has happened in the last few days may be the turning point, maybe unwittingly, you have used the success of this site to create work. If this site wasn’t running there is no way Malin would have made that phone call, and sheez – by the sound of it you are going to be one in demand MF at the con. People will notice that – more importantly casting directors will notice that *OMG Wheaton was one of the most popular actors there – why was he left out of Nemesis ?*
And please remember – there are tens of thousands of aspiring actors and actresses out there who tread the boards week in week out for little pay just hoping that one day someone will notice them. They do it because probably like you when they were younger they decided *I want to act* – no more, no less, but they haven’t had the opportunity or maybe just damned luck that you’ve had. You have to get noticed to get parts. And lets face it you’re not going to get noticed taking Ferris for a walk around the block. Opportunity knocks Mr Wheaton – head up – go for it – knock them out – even if it is just for the *fans*, you just don’t know where this could lead, and in true Trekism *Once more unto the breach – dear friend*. If your heart really is still in acting, then get out there and get noticed, it sounds like your *posse* could be ringing round the studios soon 😉
Watching with interest.
Mark
Wil-
Here’s some MOJO. Your site fark are the two sites I check religiously, and one thing I gather about you is that you have your head on straight. You have the “balls” to come out here and discuss your day to day life in front of untold numbers and for that you have my utmost respect. I can’t imagine being in your shoes, and I won’t try- however no matter what happens with Trek know that there are people out there that only know you through your site and “Stand By Me”. We’re here and like it or not its gonna be pretty hard to get rid of us. Whatever you do just keep faith in yourself.
Come on out Willie!!
Wil,
I know you’re going to get a million comments about this post, but I hope I don’t just say the same things the other million people say. -_^
I think I may’ve said as much before in an older comment, but I initially came to this site out of a funny-ha-ha nostalgia thing; out of my giant “I was ten years old then” crush on Wesley. The reasons I keep coming back have nothing to do with Trek or with Wesley.
I keep coming back and I keep reading because you’re one of the finest working writers on the web. Your self-examination, your cultural examinaiton, your dedication to finding your voice (and, as a fellow writer, I think you’ve found it) — these things are moving to read and beautifully written.
I understand that you have conflicting emotions; I think you’ve made an honest effort at sorting yourself out. I think that you’re making the right choices (not that it matters — no matter how much I might wish I did, I don’t -know- you). Over the past few months, anyone who reads you can see the growing that you’re doing.
Wesley may always be a little part of you, that cocky 15-year-old you will definitely always be a part of you — but that’s part of living. No matter how embarassed (and sometimes ashamed) I am of my adolescent self, she’s still a part of me. I just had to learn to co-exist with her somehow.
Besides, if she wasn’t still a part of me, I’d never be reading you in the first place. You’re amazing. Please keep writing. And best of luck to you.
yours truly,
Jess A.
Didn’t know how the comment forum worked b4. Cool.
Right on, man. Good for you.
Startrek is and always will be a piece of your past and history. Some people go to high school reunions, you go to startrek conventions. And no matter how sucky a time you had in high school, how often you got teased for the pimple on your nose you just couldn’t do anything about, and how often that girl with the great…smile…snubbed you after you finally worked up the courage for a date, you still attend the reunion, because for better or worse it’s a part of who and what you are and always will be.
You can define the experiance, or allow it to define you. You are Wil Wheaton who played Wes Crusher on TGN. You are not Wes Crusher played by Wil Wheaton.
Taking control of you past, means taking control of your future. Go to that convention as Wil Wheaton, who happened to be cast as the crusher kid, and not as a new segment of “Whatever happened to transport cheif #7 in episode #34?”
You are Wil Wheaton first and foremost and you always will be.
You rock!
– proud to be part of the posse.
Guess what I’m watching on Encore West this very minute–Stand By Me!
Wil, you’re not Gordy or Wesley and you never were, but we still love these characters because of you. You’re a fine actor and an exceptional young man and your talent WILL NOT be wasted.
I’m proud to be in your posse.
It is so good to hear you will be doing the convention, Wil. I feel as many of the writers here do, that I would like to be there and meet you in person. Not this con, though, for me, but perhaps the next time you are in Canada…though it is a part of your past and your youth, TNG was and is fun to re-visit, and Wesley was great. I think it is possible to live with the past and still look forward, and I guess you know that, too. Best of luck!
How’s it goin’, Wil!
I was one of one of the ones who sent Adam Malin an e-mail, and I’m very, very happy I was part of the “chorus” that helped changed Creation’s mind. It’ll be great to see you in Pasadena in three weeks!
I’m looking forward to the convention, and it’s too bad we have to wait until next year to see your comedy group. Oh, well.
When I come to Pasadena on the 28th, I’ll have my “Stand By Me” special edition DVD with me, and I would be honored if you would sign it. Thanks for coming back to this side of the “revolving door!”
The Leafman
Wil, as I see it, you’re in several unique positions now.
For starters, not too many of us have our awkward teenage years captured for posterity — much less collected and viewed by millions of dedicated fans worldwide. By playing the *role* of Wesley so well, you put yourself in the line of fire, so to speak.
Here’s the thing though: when it’s all said and done, 100 years from now when TNG is watched (and it will be) the People magazine drama that goes on behind the scenes will have been forgotten. What will remain is the portrayal of ideas and the human condition. You sir, portayed a time in life that is painful to just about everyone — especially geeks. You did it well enough that it made people uncomfortable — some of the most important events in human history have been precipitated by people being uncomfortable.
So, does your going to a con make sense to someone in your position? Of course! Relying only upon what you have written here, it seems very clear to me that to deny Trek is to deny something really integral to the person you are now. Consider: would you have worked so hard to be a man in your own right had you not such compelling impetus to prove you could?
Again, you’re in a unique position — one you share only with the other actors that have worked on Trek. Whatever you choose to do with the rest of your life, a whole lot of people are going to pay attention. It’s a gift of sorts, as well as a curse. Your musings today are proof of that. It can’t be taken or given back.
You can take this chance and make it what you want, or not, and allow others to dictate what the role of Wesley Crusher means and who Wil Wheaton is. You could embrace it and finish growing him up for good — allow Wesley to catch up to Wil. Perhaps then, you can allow yourself to make peace with what is really, a pretty unique situation. Either way, you’ve made an impression upon me and I wish you the best of luck.
Wil,
Thanks for hearing your fans too. We are glad to see someone who has the power tell Creation what we are missing. We need the interaction with the actors. I am proud to see you going the the convention but puting something out there besides Wesley for everyone to see. I am sure it will bring more fans to the website and even make people see past Wesley and find Wil!
Thanks!
Wowsers…soooooo much text & inner angst.
I won’t be at the convention cause I can’t afford it anyway. Maybe you’ll beat up Scooby Doo to legalize prostitution or some other such nonsense so I can see you again for cheap.
A guest speaker engagement for Halloween showing of “The Curse” in N. CA might be fun.
Anyway, good luck & have fun at the convention.
Wil,
Glad to hear things worked out for the best- I can’t make it to the 15th but I Look forward to the other things you might be able to do like another Cruise Trek- if that could be planned again anytime soon, I missed the last one due to finacial stuff. Take Care! Man!
=D alright wil!
Wish I could attend the con.
On the plus side we(the fans/friends) got our voice heard for once! XD YES!
Well shit, Wil… Now I’m going to have to make the 4 hour drive to goto this convention. 🙂 I’m glad you decided to go.
All the best!
Angie