The call came while I was out, so I didn’t get the message until days later.
“Hi,” the young-sounding secretary said on my machine, “I have Rick Berman calling for Wil. Please return when you get the message.”
I knew.
I knew before she was even done with the message, but I tried to fool myself for a few minutes anyway.
I looked at the clock: 8 PM. They’d most likely be out, so I’d have to call tomorrow.
I told Anne that I had a message to call Rick’s office, and she knew right away also.
We’d thought about it for months, ever since I’d heard the rumors online. Of course, I tend to not put a whole lot of stock in what I read online…if I did I’d be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of hot teen bitches who want to get naked for me right now, and I’d be rolling in Nigerian money.
But it made sense, and I couldn’t fight what I knew in my heart to be true.
I returned the call late the next day from my car on my way home from work. I was driving along a narrow tree-lined street in Pasadena that I sometimes take when the traffic is heavy on the freeway.
Children played on bikes and jumped rope in the growing shadows of the July afternoon. The street was stained a beautiful orange by the setting sun.
“This is Wil Wheaton returning,” I told her.
She tells me to hold on, and then he’s on the phone.
“Hi kiddo. How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. You know I turn 30 on Monday?”
There is a pause.
“I can’t believe we’re all getting so old,” he says.
“I know. I emailed Tommy [his son] awhile ago, and he’s in college now. If that made me feel old, I can’t imagine what my turning 30 is doing to the rest of you guys.”
We chuckle. This is probably just small-talk, so it’s not as severe when he tells me, but it feels good regardless. Familiar, familial.
“Listen, Wil. I have bad news.”
Although I’ve suspected it for months, and I have really known it since I heard the message the night before, my stomach tightens, my arms grow cold.
“We’ve had to cut your scene from the movie.”
He pauses for breath, and that moment is frozen, while I assess my feelings.
I almost laugh out loud at what I discover: I feel puzzled.
I feel puzzled, because the emotions I expected: the sadness, the anger, the indignation…aren’t there.
I realize that he’s waiting for me.
“Why’d you have to cut it?”
This doesn’t make sense. I should be furious. I should be depressed. I shuould be hurt.
But I don’t feel badly, at all.
“Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he begins.
I laugh silently. It never does. When I don’t get a part, or a callback, or get cut from a movie, it never has anything to do with me. Like a sophmore romance. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve met Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin, and things just happened.”
There is an unexpected sincerity to what he tells me: the movie is long. The first cut was almost 3 hours. The scene didn’t contribute to the main story in any way, so it was the first one to go.
He tells me that they’ve cut 48 minutes from the movie.
I tell him that they’ve cut an entire episode out. We laugh.
There is another silence. He’s waiting for me to respond.
I drive past some kids playing in an inflatable pool in their front yard. On the other side of the street, neighbors talk across a chain link fence. An older man sits on his porch reading a paper.
“Well Rick,” I begin, “I completely understand. I’ve thought about this on and off for months, and I knew that if the movie was long, this scene, and maybe even this entire sequence, would have to go. It’s just not germaine to the spine of the story.”
He tells me that they had to consider cutting the entire beginning of the movie. He tells me that he has to call one of the other actors because they’ve suffered rather large cuts as well.
I stop at a 4-way stop sign and let a woman and her little daughter cross the street on their way into a park filled with families, playing baseball and soccer in the waning light.
I look them. The mother’s hand carefully holding her daughter’s.
I realize why I’m not upset, and I tell him.
“Well, Rick, it’s like this: I love Star Trek, and, ultimately, I want what’s best for Star Trek and the Trekkies. If the movie is too long, you’ve got to cut it, and this scene is the first place I’d start if I were you.
“The great thing is, I got to spend two wonderful days being on Star Trek again, working with the people I love, wearing the uniform that I missed, and I got to re-connect with you, the cast, and the fans. Nobody can take that away from me.”
“And, it really means a lot to me that you called me yourself. I can’t tell you how great that makes me feel,”
It’s true. He didn’t need to call me himself. Most producers wouldn’t.
“I’m so glad that you took the time to call me, and that I didn’t have to learn about this at the screening, or by reading it on the internet.”
He tells me again how sorry he is. He asks about my family, and if I’m working on anything. I tell him they’re great, that Ryan’s turning 13, and that I’ve been enjoying steady work as a writer since January.
We’re back to small talk again, bookending the news.
I ask him how the movie looks.
He tells me that they’re very happy with it. He thinks it’s going to be very successful.
I’m feel happy and proud.
I’ve heard stories from people that everyone had lots of trouble with the director. I ask him if that’s true.
He tells me that it was tough, because the director had his own vision. There were struggles, but ultimately they collaborated to make a great film.
I come to a stoplight, a bit out of place in this quiet residential neighborhood. A young married couple walks their golden retriever across the crosswalk.
We say our goodbyes, and he admonishes me to call him if I’m ever on the lot. He tells me that he’ll never forgive me if I don’t stop into his office when I’m there.
I tell him that will, and that I’ll see him at the screening.
He wishes me well, and we hang up the phone.
The light turns green and I sit there for a moment, reflecting on the conversation.
I think back to something I wrote in April while in a pit of despair: “I wonder if The Lesson is that, in order to succeed, I need to rely upon myself, trust myself, love myself, and not put my happiness and sadness into the hands of others.”
I meant everything that I said to him. It really doesn’t matter to me if I’m actually in the movie or not, and not in a bitter way at all.
I could focus on the disappointment, I suppose. I could feel sad.
Getting cut out of the movie certainly fits a pattern that’s emerged in the past two years or so.
But I choose not to. I choose instead to focus on the positives, the things I can control. I did have two wonderful days with people I love, and it was like I’d never left. I did get to reconnect with the fans and the franchise. Rick Berman, a person with whom I’ve not always had the best relationship, called me himself to tell me the news, and I felt like it weighed heavily on him to deliver it.
Nobody can take that away from me, and I’m not going to feel badly, at all.
Because I have a secret.
I have realized what’s important in my life since April, and they are at the end of my drive.
The dog-walking couple smile and wave to me.
The light changes.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.
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I am so sad! I’ve been looking forward to Star Trek X for a while now, and I was so excited to hear that you were making an appearence. . . I think it’s just tragic that you’ve been cut. I’m certainly far less excited now. . .
Awesome attitude, Wil.
Really, the ONLY attitude- if actors got upset every time their scenes were cut they’d… wait, no wonder so many are in therapy and rehab!
Back on track… your attitude makes you one of the lucky ones. At the risk of sounding condescending, I’m proud of you, Unca Wil.
Wow. Fantastic entry Wil. Great to see you with a such a positive outlook!
Wil, are you trying to make me cry???
Tough luck Wil, but great positive spin. And everyone’s right about the DVD bits.
Wil,
Congrats on finding Peace of Mind. You showed how much of a class act you are. You deserve a pie!
Wil, I’ve got to admit I’m disappointed that you won’t be in Trek X after all, I was looking forward to thinking of Wesley as an adult. But, the fact is, Wesley is a fictional character and you’re a real live adult. Congratulations, you’ve learned how to prioritize and you know that a loving family is more important than a scene in a movie. I know I’m just this nobody on the computer, and my opinion means diddly, but I’m proud of you, Wil!
By the way, ever notice that when Picard says, “Fire at will!”, Riker looks nervous?
Great outlook on the situation, Wil. You handled it with grace and a professionalism rarely seen in the business.
Wil,
I am saddened to see this. I can honestly say I was looking forward to seeing you in this movie, if only for a moment. I always wondered what Wesley Crusher was doing.
You are truly the bigger man in how you handled this. I congratulate you on that.
We’ll miss Wesley, but he’s on to bigger and better things…and so are you. IT’s wonderful that at least someone in hollywood knows how to live in the RIGHT NOW. Siddhartha would be very very proud, I think. Rock on, Wil.
Damn it. If that’s not part of your life anymore and you aren’t invested in it, that’s a Good Thing, but … well, I haven’t seen a Trek movie in the theaters for years. I would have seen this one to see you in it. Now it’s just one more big budget special-effect Trek-franchise movie that’s going to go right past me, and I won’t care either. It’s good that you don’t mind, but damn it, I do. I haven’t given a rat’s asshole for Trek in years, and it appears that that’s not going to change anytime soon.
If they cut you they better not have left the part with Kate Mulgrew in it. Did they cut Whoopi out too? With that aside, do you know if this is going to be the last film?
Ben
“Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.”
Nah…there’s always the webbies with ways that get those cuttings on somewhere…someplace.
I’m officially not seeing the movie.
‘Second star to the right…and straight on til morning.’
Keep your head up,ensign. Love the site and just wanted to post my well-wishes.
phew. Terribily good entry. Lamentations and condolences, Wil.
they better put you in the DVD release
I now know I will not see the film until it hits the $ theatres
Damn, Wil! This movie seemed so perfect for your reappearence. A straight number ST-movie.The fans would have loved seeing someone the kids might not remember at first sight.
BUT after reading the blog and being in the soapbox for three months I am pretty sure that you are not only more than Wesley. You belong to the lucky people which can see the small things in life which make it wonderful and are so much more important than saying: “The interstellar matrix is out of equllibrium so fix it with anti-matter chewing-gum.”
I’m sure there will be at least 2 more TNG movies and you probably will be seeing your friends again on set. I hope it is more sad for us than for you.
Still I hope for deleted scenes on the dvd release!!!
Hey, fuck em. When the movie tanks, at least you can say “Thank God I wasn’t in that piece of shit.”
Oh, darn, Wil. I know this is disappointing for you, but I’m proud of you for taking it so well, just as I was proud of myself for my calm reaction to a disappointing job interview last week. All we can do is hold our heads up high and just keep moving forward with our lives. And hey, at least increased maturity is one good thing that comes with getting older. 🙂
Ouch. I feel for you, but it’s great to hear that you’ve discovered one of the great truths of life. “We are each responsible for our own happiness.” And from reading these posts I can give you one more positive to dwell on – You have more friends that you’ve never met than most people have friends.
As one with theatrical aspirations (cliche) who is just a few shy of 30 himself (another cliche) and recovering from the aftermath of noteworthy soulbaring (incredibly cliche), your words synced rather well with the wave of my own thought processes. I’m currently putting my own internal too-damn-smart-for-his-own-good 15 year old to bed one last time.
Thanks for being a fellow mental face in the crowd.
Cory.
A very cool storyline with no ending. Bummer. You give Berman way too much credit.
Dammit Wil! You’re a cool cat, how the fark could you keep your head? I would’ve been slathering that slimy rich jerk with gobs of vulgarities until the sun didn’t shine! But no, not you. Jeez you’re too nice, better get out of Hollywood, they’ll eat you alive. Hey Telly Savalez punched me in the face when I was a 14 year old kid for asking for an autograph. You had no qualms. See what I’m saying?
It’s interesting, Wil. I grew up on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I relate a lot to the character that you presented. While a lot of other people saw a whiney assed kid, I saw someone who had to struggle with the fact that he was very much different from the people who were around him. A person who has very high skills always intimates others who do not, reguardless of any behaviour they attempt. I was shocked and surprised to learn that you are actually older than I am by six months. In the last twenty years I have made a lot of decisions about what is and is not important. Money, sex, age. All of that can come and go. It is the people that love you and care about you that are the only thing that makes a difference. You are very blessed to have a family, for I am still looking for that “perfect woman” that complements me. And, you’ve demonstrated something that I’ve only learned in the last year, myself. A person chooses how they react to a situation. You have wisely choosen that in the end, being in the movie isn’t worth wasting any emotions on. “Waste” that extra emotion on loving your family.
P.S. I think they’re shits for not making a three-hour movie. A good story and all its pieces aren’t dependant on time. 🙂
I’m happy for you Wil. You know what I’m talking about. And so well written. It lived.
Sorry to hear it Wil. At least you got to hear it first hand, though, instead of 2nd or even third hand, fourth hand would’ve been worse.
I’m still looking forward to your re-occurring character on “Enterprise”…..what do you mean….. that was ……HEY!! No fair!!
I was hoping to read about it first on your website, but I got it second hand at FARK.
Live long and prosper, Wil Robinson, and may the horse be with you.
Sorry to hear the news, Wil.
But, still, I think what you’ve built at WWDN is so much valuable than Star Trek. What you’ve got here is truly exceptional.
You misspelled “germane”.
If I hadn’t been there when you broke the news to us and I hadn’t seen how quickly we all brushed it off with my own eyes, I might be a bit skeptical about your feelings.
Heh, but the truth is, we may have pondered on it for hours and I was too busy people watching, trying to figure out why someone wore football pants to a bar on a weekend night and why that someone was a woman and, of course, too concerned with drink.
At least we’ve got Fado’s.
—Well done- you have showed your true adulthood and the changes you have gone through.
– Your right you know no one can take away the two days you had to get to fil, the movie- Like They say- DVD baby!!! DVD- we will all look for you in those delted scences and there better be a commentary of Rick Berman as well, who know he let you do some Narrating as well- That would be cool!! After all you are still a part of the Star Trek Family always and forever.
–We must remember what we want isn’t always in the best intrests of the Creative outlook- The last Star Trek movie Has got to go outwith a BANG not a wimper–Artistic intregrity-
Chin up Wil we all love you and look forward to your other endevers….:)
Some of your blurbs have the feel of some notes you’ve just scribbled on a napkin, but for the most part I love your writing style. You tell a good story.
Well, this annoys me. I was seriously looking forward to seeing Wesley Crusher one more time.. before totally giving up on Star Trek. I grew up watching TNG as a kid, and later on eventually began to appriciate DS9.
Since this will probably be the last TNG movie.. and the last new Star Trek I will probably ever see, it is saddening that there won’t be much closure to the character W. Crusher. You make Berman sound like a pretty nice guy, but honestly, he seems like an ass to me. I credit him and Brannon Braga for screwing up Trek (Have you seen Voyager and the new series Enterprise? Les morceaux de merde). You do have a good attitude about it all… lol I bet if that happened to William fucking Shatner, he’d pitch a fit!
Laura
Am I the only one who completely feels indifferent to Star Trek now?
Those sons of biatches!
The important question is, do you still get paid?
dammit it would’ve been great to see you in the movie Wil.
dude you are the farking man. It’ll turn up on the DVD. Besides it could be worse. You could be Eddie Murphy.
Maaaan…this really ticks me off…We haven’t seen Wil Wheaton in Star Trek for, what, like, ten years now?! We’ve seen the main players, sure, but we ALWAYS see them. I’ve been a fan of TNG since the beginning; I was in THIRD GRADE then…and am still a HUGE fan today! One of the things I was looking forward to the MOST was the beginning of Nemesis; Seeing you in Trek again, Wil, would have been worth the seven bucks to get in. I think you just need to forward all our comments to Rick Berman. I mean, we’ve seen PLENTY of other movies run for three hours! Braveheart; Lord of the Rings; Star Wars Episode II…I mean, three hours is NOT all that significant if it’s done right; being an actor myself, I understand that if a play, musical, or movie is SLOW and BORING and runs for three hours, the audience should demand a full refund…but, if it’s done RIGHT….then no one will notice it took three hours; they’ll just notice if it was GOOD. And it really, really would have been had your scene remained. If you don’t want to forward our comments, post an email address for us to do so!!
Thanks, and do take care. We’re still watching; we never quit.
Your fan,
Brandon
That’s too bad Wil. At least you had a good time doing it. I would have really enjoyed seeing the whole crew reunited.
Hey there. That sucks about getting cut. I wish I had the same outlook as you do. But that’s what makes us individuals.
I also wanted to say that I enjoy reading your site, and that it inspired me to start up my own web log.
I stole a few of your thoughts, but only a few. Hope you don’t mind. Nothing that would be copy written, so I think I am safe.
If you have the time and feel generous, i’d welcome the visit.
http://www.PaulKohler.net
later..
Mr. Wheaton, I did not like your character in The Next Generation, and I still do not. Neither does my long-time friend Asher. (Sadly, my wife does not share our love for sci-fi!) But we hated your character simply because we love to hate your character! Your character in TNG was just as important as any other main character in that you were deeply woven into the fabric of the franchise by the end of the first season of TNG. Whether any of us liked your character or not is besides the point: you were there regardless and I for one am not happy that your character was cut from Nemesis. It would have been great to hate your character once again! So I do hope, as my friend Asher does, that you will return to ST as soon as is damn possible! With hate and admiration, charles…
Well, I’m glad you’re not upset about being cut, but I’m a little dissapointed. Well, I hope they include it on the DVD.
Hi Wil.
I can`t tell you how sorry I am right now. Seeing you in that movie would have been so perfect. Closure, right? I am glad, however, that you take it so well.
One question, though: Why Brooklyn? I don`t get it…
Hi Wil
im still a huge star trek fan, so ill go and see nemesis. its a shame you wont be in it, but ill have my fingers crossed for the deleted scenes on the dvd.
Good luck on future business.
J
Hopefully your scene will be in the dvd.
Hope to see you on the DVD, Wil. I’d have prefered that they gave theatres the option to play the 3-hour version… I definitely would’ve preferred to have seen that one. Dang.
Hey Wil-
Sucks that your scene got cut! Since it did get cut are you able to tell us what your scene was about/like??
Way to handle the situation like a man! Good job.
I also got cut from the film. I am not mad because my part was real small. You see I’m an ant. Us ants are small. So I think I wouldn’t have made much of an impact on the story anyway. Keep your head up Wil. I always do.
Timmy the Ant
Wil,
I actually have tears in my eyes from your post. And it wouldn’t be the first time. Every now and again you write something truly moving and wise that it makes me what to be a better citizen.
I grew up watching ST:TNG and had the most massive crush on you. I think you were the first of the geeky cool (like Kramer and Weezer).
Sorry about your cut scenes. You were the ONLY reason I was going to see the movie in the first place. They lost my $10 and maybe I’ll rent the DVD but ONLY if your cut scenes are included.
Thanks for everything, Uncle Willie.
Your pal,
Patti
Sorry to hear about the cut, Wil.
Contrary to a post up above, virtually all the comments over on Fark are messages of support, even people from whom I’d least expect it.
You’ve managed to unite Fark.
Now that’s an achievement!