The call came while I was out, so I didn’t get the message until days later.
“Hi,” the young-sounding secretary said on my machine, “I have Rick Berman calling for Wil. Please return when you get the message.”
I knew.
I knew before she was even done with the message, but I tried to fool myself for a few minutes anyway.
I looked at the clock: 8 PM. They’d most likely be out, so I’d have to call tomorrow.
I told Anne that I had a message to call Rick’s office, and she knew right away also.
We’d thought about it for months, ever since I’d heard the rumors online. Of course, I tend to not put a whole lot of stock in what I read online…if I did I’d be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of hot teen bitches who want to get naked for me right now, and I’d be rolling in Nigerian money.
But it made sense, and I couldn’t fight what I knew in my heart to be true.
I returned the call late the next day from my car on my way home from work. I was driving along a narrow tree-lined street in Pasadena that I sometimes take when the traffic is heavy on the freeway.
Children played on bikes and jumped rope in the growing shadows of the July afternoon. The street was stained a beautiful orange by the setting sun.
“This is Wil Wheaton returning,” I told her.
She tells me to hold on, and then he’s on the phone.
“Hi kiddo. How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. You know I turn 30 on Monday?”
There is a pause.
“I can’t believe we’re all getting so old,” he says.
“I know. I emailed Tommy [his son] awhile ago, and he’s in college now. If that made me feel old, I can’t imagine what my turning 30 is doing to the rest of you guys.”
We chuckle. This is probably just small-talk, so it’s not as severe when he tells me, but it feels good regardless. Familiar, familial.
“Listen, Wil. I have bad news.”
Although I’ve suspected it for months, and I have really known it since I heard the message the night before, my stomach tightens, my arms grow cold.
“We’ve had to cut your scene from the movie.”
He pauses for breath, and that moment is frozen, while I assess my feelings.
I almost laugh out loud at what I discover: I feel puzzled.
I feel puzzled, because the emotions I expected: the sadness, the anger, the indignation…aren’t there.
I realize that he’s waiting for me.
“Why’d you have to cut it?”
This doesn’t make sense. I should be furious. I should be depressed. I shuould be hurt.
But I don’t feel badly, at all.
“Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he begins.
I laugh silently. It never does. When I don’t get a part, or a callback, or get cut from a movie, it never has anything to do with me. Like a sophmore romance. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve met Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin, and things just happened.”
There is an unexpected sincerity to what he tells me: the movie is long. The first cut was almost 3 hours. The scene didn’t contribute to the main story in any way, so it was the first one to go.
He tells me that they’ve cut 48 minutes from the movie.
I tell him that they’ve cut an entire episode out. We laugh.
There is another silence. He’s waiting for me to respond.
I drive past some kids playing in an inflatable pool in their front yard. On the other side of the street, neighbors talk across a chain link fence. An older man sits on his porch reading a paper.
“Well Rick,” I begin, “I completely understand. I’ve thought about this on and off for months, and I knew that if the movie was long, this scene, and maybe even this entire sequence, would have to go. It’s just not germaine to the spine of the story.”
He tells me that they had to consider cutting the entire beginning of the movie. He tells me that he has to call one of the other actors because they’ve suffered rather large cuts as well.
I stop at a 4-way stop sign and let a woman and her little daughter cross the street on their way into a park filled with families, playing baseball and soccer in the waning light.
I look them. The mother’s hand carefully holding her daughter’s.
I realize why I’m not upset, and I tell him.
“Well, Rick, it’s like this: I love Star Trek, and, ultimately, I want what’s best for Star Trek and the Trekkies. If the movie is too long, you’ve got to cut it, and this scene is the first place I’d start if I were you.
“The great thing is, I got to spend two wonderful days being on Star Trek again, working with the people I love, wearing the uniform that I missed, and I got to re-connect with you, the cast, and the fans. Nobody can take that away from me.”
“And, it really means a lot to me that you called me yourself. I can’t tell you how great that makes me feel,”
It’s true. He didn’t need to call me himself. Most producers wouldn’t.
“I’m so glad that you took the time to call me, and that I didn’t have to learn about this at the screening, or by reading it on the internet.”
He tells me again how sorry he is. He asks about my family, and if I’m working on anything. I tell him they’re great, that Ryan’s turning 13, and that I’ve been enjoying steady work as a writer since January.
We’re back to small talk again, bookending the news.
I ask him how the movie looks.
He tells me that they’re very happy with it. He thinks it’s going to be very successful.
I’m feel happy and proud.
I’ve heard stories from people that everyone had lots of trouble with the director. I ask him if that’s true.
He tells me that it was tough, because the director had his own vision. There were struggles, but ultimately they collaborated to make a great film.
I come to a stoplight, a bit out of place in this quiet residential neighborhood. A young married couple walks their golden retriever across the crosswalk.
We say our goodbyes, and he admonishes me to call him if I’m ever on the lot. He tells me that he’ll never forgive me if I don’t stop into his office when I’m there.
I tell him that will, and that I’ll see him at the screening.
He wishes me well, and we hang up the phone.
The light turns green and I sit there for a moment, reflecting on the conversation.
I think back to something I wrote in April while in a pit of despair: “I wonder if The Lesson is that, in order to succeed, I need to rely upon myself, trust myself, love myself, and not put my happiness and sadness into the hands of others.”
I meant everything that I said to him. It really doesn’t matter to me if I’m actually in the movie or not, and not in a bitter way at all.
I could focus on the disappointment, I suppose. I could feel sad.
Getting cut out of the movie certainly fits a pattern that’s emerged in the past two years or so.
But I choose not to. I choose instead to focus on the positives, the things I can control. I did have two wonderful days with people I love, and it was like I’d never left. I did get to reconnect with the fans and the franchise. Rick Berman, a person with whom I’ve not always had the best relationship, called me himself to tell me the news, and I felt like it weighed heavily on him to deliver it.
Nobody can take that away from me, and I’m not going to feel badly, at all.
Because I have a secret.
I have realized what’s important in my life since April, and they are at the end of my drive.
The dog-walking couple smile and wave to me.
The light changes.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.
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Wow.
Well done, as trite as that sounds, it’s not meant that way. That’s a huge personal leap for someone to take, to not be devastated or even slightly negative about such an experience.
It’s pretty huge.
I have to admit that the last line sent my heart cold and got me pretty sad! “Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.”
Very beautifully written, Wil!
I’m sorry this happened to such a great human being, and to a character I miss a great deal.
Here’s to Star Trek XI… Wesley Strikes Back.
Cut scenes on the DVD, maybe?
One could always hope.
Congrats on finding your Trek Zen.
-b
why don’t us fans start a petition to send to Berman to include the deleted Wesley scenes on the DVD? it’s one thing to hope they’ll include it on when it comes out, but it’s another thing to petition him for it. Berman might not be thinking about putting it on the DVD, but if enough of us fans garner support, they might think about it.
I mean, how many of us were gonna go see it in the theatres just because Wil was gonna be in it? and how many are NOT going now? highlight that, and when you send the petition, say that they will sell even MORE DVDs if they include Wil’s scenes, because that’s what a sizable chunk of the fans want.
after all, isn’t it the fans dictate what sells and what doesn’t?
Viva Wil! Long live Wesley!
Wil – what can I say that hasn’t been said here already, a couple dozen times over. It would’ve been great to see you in the theatrical release, but, as you know, “deleted scenes” have a way of turning up, not just on the DVD version (everyone: lobby Paramount now!), but in other contexts as well. (I seem to recall that Star Treks II and VI, in particular, got some extra footage when they were broadcast, including Rene Auberjonois’ part as Colonel West in VI.)
In the meantime, you’ve proven that you care a lot more about Star Trek as a whole than you do about your place in it (which no one can *ever* take away from you), and I’m convinced you care about it a lot more than certain beancounters at Paramount do. (I suppose three hours would’ve been a bit much, but, hey, Titanic was longer than that, and it did all right. Yeah, I know, apples and oranges…)
Meantime, you’ve got your Arena gig, your comedy group, and your loving family. From where I’m sitting, you’ve got it pretty darn good. But you knew that.
hey i dont mind that your cut form the movie even though i did want to see you in it but the movie should be great ive been waitching star trek since i was 5 years old hehe seson 4 of tng so they better add you in the dvd and all the cuts sense.
“Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.”
Wil, don’t say that!!!! *sniffsniff* 🙁
Beldraen said:
“P.S. I think they’re shits for not making a three-hour movie. A good story and all its pieces aren’t dependant on time. :)”
AMEN TO THAT!!!!
and if they at least won’t put the deleted scenes on DVD, i’ll never ever see the movie, and that’s too bad… i really was looking forward to it…
grrrr…damn those moronic producers!! >:/
Hey, recently found your journal. At first I thought it was some sick fan pretending to be you 🙂 I used to watch Star Trek TNG in high school and college and I actually always liked the Wesley Crusher character, it’s too bad you won’t be in the next movie. You seem like a cool guy too.
Dang. I actually wanted to cry when I read that, Wil. Now I really don’t want to see the movie.
It’s wonderful to see you taking this so well. It’s of course not the end of the world, and something better WILL come along. You’re a great untapped resource. My fingers are crossed for you. Never mind that makes it hard to type.
–angeline
Wil – let me jsut say that this is dis-heartning, and that I was only goign to see the movie if you were in it. The script didnt’ look intresting, butthe excitement of seeing the original cast was cool.
That’s sad. I was actually looking forward to seeing the character again – it’s been years, after all. We would have seen how Wesley Crusher has grown and matured over the years. Would have really done the character justice.
Glad you found something far more important at the enmd of your driveway though. Good luck!
Like you, I love ST…so I’ll definitely see the movie. But I was looking forward to seeing Wesley all grow’d up.
I’ve been stalling on the purchase of a DVD player until the price drops below that of an ice cream cone…but this might just force my hand.
>> I have realized what’s important in my life since April..
Welcome to the real world, dude. I get there sometimes myself. Very well spoken…
Never mind, Wil. It’s clear that they’re keeping you so that next time you appear, in ST XI, they can have you appear with Ashley Judd :-))))
I would sure like to see Wil’s scences on the Nemesis DVD.
But hey, the real Wil is better than Wesley anyway, and thanks to WWDN we get pretty good coverage.
I’ve always wanted to produce and direct a film, do you want to write a screenplay for me?
Sorry to hear the bad news, that said, you have a very healthy and positive view of the situation.
Wil, I was psyched to see you in the movie. You handled the news with grace. I’m not far from 30 myself and I wouldn’t mind coming home to the scene you described.
It’s a time of upheaval and renewal, death and birth. We suffer the loss, deny, grieve, celebrate, and emerge into a different world.
But for some reason Lou Rukeyser still looks like the Cabbage Patch Kids version of George Washington.
Damn. This kid’s good. 🙂
CG, first-time visitor whose last online contact with WW was on the freaking Mindspring BBS!
Hey Wil,
Sorry that you were cut i think that my Friend will be more upset then I am but then again you are totally her favorite actor. Don’t get me wrong you are my favorite actor too. I will most likely go and see the movie anyway but that is the kind of geek I am. lol. So anyway…
At least you had fun though right?!?!
Looking forward to your next post.
Justine…
Remember, mantra after me:
W.W.W.W.D.?
Wow. You’re good.
To look on the bright side, even though your scene didn’t make it into the theatrical release, there is always DVD!
Well, I for one hope your part will be on the DVD!!!
Smooth. I do hope they add those deleted scenes to the DVD. (Not like that hasn’t been mentioned 1000 times already) I was looking forward to seeing ya in a ST:NG film. Ah, Fark it. We will go see it the night it opens anyway.
Later, mang!
Prime
ps. Ya ever get out Albuquerque way, let us Farkers know.
Formula for blockbuster movie;
Girls
Guns
Explosions
Midgets
Animals
and Girls w/guns (trust me, never fails…)
Hi Wil,
My brother is currently living in LA aspiring to be an actor. I have heard stories like this from him often. I have to say I admire your outlook on the situation and only hope that as my brother continues to follow his dream, he too learns that the important things are right in front of him. I will also tell you what I always tell my brother, continue to follow your dream. To put up with that industry from a young age and not be a serial killer says a lot about your character and strength. Good luck to you and thanks for the good reads.
“rolling in Nigerian money”
Now THAT’S funny ! ! !
Aggggggh. I was ok until the last sentence. Then I felt sad. All is well.
Hot Damn. How can you hate Wesley Crusher after reading a post like this?
=thomas
Well, I no longer have impetus to see the movie, which is saving me money at least! Go Will!
You’re a great guy, Will. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you write. Thanks for being real.
~ M.
I know it would have been nice for you to have that one last chance on screen with the people you love.
For those of us that were looking forward to seeing you in it, we’ll pay homage by shouting out “Wesley Lives” or something on the premire night of the movie during the scene you were supposed to be in (the reception on the E, right?)
Or maybe I’ll get all my friends to buy William Fucking Shatner T-Shirts and we’ll all wear them that night.
Oh well, the Universe just had other plans for you 😉
You GO, booooy 🙂
I was never a fan of Wesley Crusher, but I AM a fan of the real Wil Wheaton. When he stood up (and wrote), I took notice and stayed. Star or not, you’ve such character and personality we all consider you a friend, or at least a part of our daily lives. 🙂
Best wishes to you and your family….
Wil, it dont mean a thing…shit happens, you thought the right thoughts and said the right thing…bravo
p.s “Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans”-John Lennon
Well I guess I’ll wait till it hits DVD and hopefully they will add in that 48 minutes they cut out. I know that they had to cut a bunch from Generations (cut footage made it on the net). Sorry to hear they had to cut your scene, kind of stupid they had to cut your small scene. It didn’t add anything to the movie? Um a part of the movie deals with how things are changing. Part of the crew leaves, etc. Sorry to hear about that wil.
I’m sorry hear about your getting cut from the movie. I half expected it… i read all those rumours too and saw it coming too.
Too bad you were cut, I remember the day I told my friends “Wil Wheaton’s gonna be in Nemesis!” and they all just gave an evil glare at me.
Now just becuase you were cut doesn’t mean that I’m not going to see the movie. The first time I saw the trailer for Nemesis in the theater I sat there with the biggest smile on my face and I grinning like an idiot for at least an hour after the movie I was watching finished.
The last TNG movie looks like it will be a blast to watch. I can’t wait for it to open. I hope you WWDN readers don’t abandon/boycott it just b/c Wil’s not there. Wil will see it, so should you!
Wil,
Actually, I am more concerned that they even have 3 hours shot! Sounds like too much fluff (or dare I say effectz?) in it… I’d rather see the characters working together showing their familial bonds as they unite against a common enemy (ala Khan!) but if Berman & Co. spend more time on special effectz rather than giving people a true story, well, Nemesis won’t be any better than that lameass Clones!
Bah, read the script (atleast one version of it), didn’t remember being that enthralled, heard Wil was going to be in it, thought maybe I’d go see it… now I find this, figure I’ll save the cash and skip it now. 😉
wil: it ain’t over yet kid…this time your absence will speak louder than your presence would have…in previous trek films we didn’t expect to see you…with “nemesis” an expectation of a “wesley crusher” sighting was generated…and next time will be demanded…to breathe some life into the trek franchise they need some 30 something youth as one of the main players…i think you could handle that…but even if “wesley” is really silent forever…you already seem to have more than you ever had before…and what’s even better…you seem to know it…to understand it why this disapointment is not the end of the world…but maybe just the beginning of the things that are really gonna matter for the long run.
I hope the DVD has some kind of “extended version” option where we can watch the original, 3-hour version. I was really looking forward to finding out how your character was coming back, Wil. This really ticks me off. Crusher deserved a comeback. You know what would be really cool? If you could get a deal on making a special “Wil Wheaton Edition Nemesis DVD” with all kinds of interviews with you and (all of this if you’re willing of course) commentary and definitely your picture on the cover! I’ll throw this idea Berman’s way. catch ya later, Wil!
Nic
Hi Wil!
First of all, i just cant understand why the hell the producers cant live with a 3 hours movie. Why????
If its a good one, why cuting some scenes? I just dont get it. I want the entire version of the movie and i’d pay and extra for it, so why B&B are so lame that they need to cut 48 minutes from it? Its more than an entire episode (as you mentioned it) and it should be important anough to keep it.
At least, if they want to cut something, let’s be sure that every crew member will be in the movie. I like Wesley Crusher. This character is very good and well played. And, beside, he is the only teenage point of view in StarTrek Universe.
Is our future for the young generations? Of course! So why keeping them away from StarTrek?
What can i do to get the ENTIRE movie WITH YOU PART? I suppose i’l need to wait for the DVD version?
StarTrek TNG was the best TV Show Ever! And Wesley Crusher is, as every crew members, an important part of it.
I hear sometimes some trolls who express their hate for Wesley and i cant understand why! I think its because they are fuck*n jealous because you where in it and they couldn’t
Live long and proper, Wil
Marc Chapleau, a french speaking fan from Montreal city (Quebec, Canada)
You’re still the most adorable boy in the world!
DUDE!!!!!
THAT #*&@^%# SUCKS!!!!!
Ya know!!…..I’m a big Trek Fan….So, make a 3 hour movie for christ sake!!!! Do you think I’m gonna bitch about it!!!!!
Sorry Wil..
Being an actor really bites sometimes!
Darn.
But honestly, if this site is a closer indication of Wil Wheaton than Wesley Crusher was, I like the real guy better anyway.
I will go and most likely love the movie, and I will envy the part you got to play in its creation. And admire you for being the best example of a grown up I’ve seen in a while, because of this essay. Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*****
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! OMG!! OMG!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN!!!!! I WANTED TO SEE YOU IN THERE!!!! I’m crying and sobbing right now!! *sniff* *sniff* *snobbs* I’m soooooooo sorry!!! That was just not right!! Rick is up to something and I can feel it!!! Promise I’ll try to find out!!! I gotta go cry now!!!!! :’-( BYE!!!!! *snobbs* *sniffs*….
~~*Gooniegirl*~~ *****
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wil,
Just like a lot of the people in this commentary, I really was looking forward to seeing you in the movie. However, DVDs are wondeful. Hopefully they’ll have a lot of your deleted scenes footage (a lot of the extra stuff is like another movie).
I’m glad though that you’ve enjoyed being with loved ones, and you got paid for it too (*Bonus*). Until your next post, have a wonderful evening!
🙂
Well, as long as you’re happy, Wil, what does it matter that you’re not in a movie. You’ll be remembered by your fans for all of your years on the show anyway. Life’s too short to focus on the things that don’t really matter.
Will,
i’m really sorry man. I had hoped to be able to see you in that movie. damn, well. look at it this way, in the DVD they should have the deleted parts of the movie..*i hope*
ok does anyone know why they can’t make the movie 3hrs??? does it cost more money or something. i was looking foward to a long great movie w/ Whoopie, Wil, and my favorite captain, Janeway. Well i know kate will still be in the movie because she gives Picard his orders so her role is important but anyway im jus wonderin wuts the big deal about a 3hr movie. I jus hope they make an extended version movie jus like they are doin w/ LOTR or have a feature where the deleted scenes can be inserted like in X-Men
Wil, i say u talk to Rick and let him know how all the star trek fans would love a 3 hr movie and convince him to put your part in again as well as anything else removed
I can’t wait to sit in front of my tv, with a glass of juice on one hand, some popcorn on the other, and the Nemesis DVD playing in my DVD player, all three hours of it.
Wil, you inspire me.
Now I’m gonna hit the books with this inspiration before Med school gets the best of me.
That completely sucks. Good for you for staying positive. Well it saves me $10 for the ticket I suppose.