I am standing in the kitchen making dinner, listening through the open window to Ryan and Nolan as they play whiffle ball in our front yard.. They’re actually playing nicely together, not being overly competitive.
Nolan stands over a patch of dirt, in front of a bush, which represents home plate, while Ryan hurls the ball towards him.
Ryan always tries to throw the ball too hard, and usually has trouble finding the strike zone, so Nolan just sits there, letting the ball bounce off of the house behind him.
Nolan comes in for a drink of water, and without even thinking I tell him, “It sounds like you guys are having a great time out there. Tell you what: you keep up this good attitude, and I’ll come out and play with you.”
Nolan does a little hop, and says, “COOL!” before he runs back outside. I hear him tell Ryan, “Wil says he’ll come play with us!”
They’re both excited to play with me…that’s cool. I’ve been really busy these past few weeks, finishing up my book, so I haven’t been able to play with the kids very much. They’re getting to that age where they want to hang out one minute, and the next minute I’m so incredibly uncool they can’t even stand to be in the same room as me. Hearing the genuine excitement in their voices makes my heart swell.
Dinner is really easy tonight: It’s a curried tofu with rice dish. I put the rice into the rice cooker, cut the tofu into cubes and put them in the pan. I dump a bunch of curry over them, and I race out to play.
I’m thirty years old and a parent, and I’m racing through my “chores” to go play outside.
When I get there, one of Ryan’s friends (who is also called Ryan) has come over to play, so we immediately separate into teams: Nolan and me against the Ryans.
Nolan steps back up to the plate, and Ryan proceeds to walk him. He then walks me, then Nolan again, and we quickly load the bases with ghost runners. The sun is rapidly sinking into the mountains to the west, and the ball is getting hard to see, so I suggest that we call the game so the Ryans can have a few at-bats. Nolan agrees, and we send our ghost runners back down to Triple-A as we head
into the field and take our positions on the grass, and in the street.
Nolan pitches a few balls to Ryan, but it’s really too dark to play any longer. Like every other time we’ve had to call a game on account of darkness, I resolve to install lights over our front lawn so we can play at night, local building codes and my wife’s desire for a normal suburban house be damned.
We’ve been having fun, though, and like the only child who finally has someone to play with, I don’t want to go back inside; back to being a grown up…so I suggest that we play hide and seek.
They all excitedly agree, and I’m It.
We quickly define the boundaries, and “Safe.” I close my eyes and count to one hundred by fives.
As I shut my eyes and begging to count, the world slows, and I hear my own voice, twenty-one years distant, calling out the same numbers. I’m nine years-old, head buried in my arms as I stand at the light pole on our street which was “Safe,” Boston plays on my parent’s Techniques turntable, while my dad cooks fish on the Webber Kettle in the back yard. I can smell the smoke as it drifts over the house and hangs in our yard, in the still summer evening.
5…10…15…20…25…30…
I’m ten years-old, and I run like crazy, trying to evade Joey Carnes. It is summer, hot and smoggy. My lungs burn with each breath.
35…40…45…50…55…60…
I’m eleven years-old, and I can hear the stomp, stomp, stomp of my feet hitting the ground as I look for a hiding place. It’s springtime, and the grass is cool and damp beneath me.
65…70…75…80…85…90…
I’m twelve years-old, hiding behind the side gate, crouched down, my arm just barely touching the arm of the girl I have a crush on as we hide together. While we listen to the kid counting, I try and fail to screw up the courage to hold her hand. In middle school, she’ll break my heart over and over again.
95…100! Ready or not, here I come!
I open my eyes, and I’m back on my street. The kids are well-hidden. Lost in my memories, I didn’t think to listen for their footfalls, and I have no idea where they may be.
I walk slowly around a hedge, and see Ryan begin to run across the street, towards “Safe.” I run at him, hoping to cut him off, but he’s too fast for me. During my pursuit of him, his friend has made it to “Safe,” leaving only Nolan undiscovered.
I walk down our street, towards our neighbor’s house, and see Nolan racing across the front yard next door. I give chase, and we both run straight through the heavy spray of several Rain Bird sprinkles. Nolan runs very, very fast, but ends up going Out Of Bounds. We return to “Safe,” laughing, wiping the water from our faces.
Nolan is It, and begins to count. I run across the street, hiding behind a tree. When I was a kid, I never hid behind trees, preferring cars and fences, with their clever ways to spot an approaching “It”…but I know that if I stand still in the October darkness, he’ll never see me. I’m wearing a black
“Ataris” T-shirt and long olive shorts…I’m practically invisible.
Nolan finishes his count, and the chase is on. It is several tries before he catches someone, but his attitude never sours. We are all having a great time playing together, being kids.
Finally, I am just too wiped out to play any more, and I head back inside. Anne asks me to drive Ryan’s friend home, and on the way to the car, Ryan’s friend tells him, “Your house is so much fun! You’re really lucky that your Step-dad plays with you.”
Ryan agrees, but warns him that we don’t always play like that…Ryan tells him that I’ve been writing a lot, so I spend a lot of time at my desk. It’s the first time in months that I’ve played with them like that, he says.
He’s right. Most of the time these days, I have to be a grown up, and I can’t play very much.
But last night, I got to be a kid again, if only for an hour or so, and while I appreciated the sentiment from Ryan’s friend, he didn’t quite have it right.
Yeah, there was a lucky guy out there playing…but it wasn’t Ryan.
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Wow, first.
I’ve only been reading your site for about a month, but I’ve read everything on it. I can’t wait for your book. Be cool to see it on Amazon.com
Wil you rule – my dad never played with us like that let alone a step-dad!
Best place I ever hid was on the roof of the shed next door, the bummer was that once up there I was damned if I could get down again. Needless to say I was the source of hilariy for the rest of the day… man, I sucked at hide and seek!
anybody else call “safe,” “ghoul”?
So I am sitting in a computer lab in europe reading wilwheaton.net which will surely get me laughed at by my friends who would think it odd for a cosmopolitan college girl to be a trek fan turned extrek actor blogger fan… but really that was just beautiful and for about ten minutes i lost myself in the fun of your games outdoors. I can’t wait to put the book on my shelf to share(after a few readings myself of course)
Sadly, I can never recall my dad playing hide and seek with me at any age. Although I do remember trips in the car, to the museum in Chicago, to the zoo, playing frisbee and a whole lot of other things. There were probably some not so great times as well. 1985. But they seem so unimportant in comparison. I miss my dad.
I’d say you and Ryan were both lucky.
And now, when the boys are grown and counting off while their kids hide, they get to think of that one October evening when they were kids–when they had such a good time playing with their step-dad.
You guys made a memory.
Tofu? Yay! I finally found out something about Wil I don’t like! Now I’m gonna watch TNG until I find something about Wesley I DO like, to balance it out 🙂
Btw, has anyone seen that really funny little TNG ‘episode’ where Picard put Wesley in the shuttle and blew it up? It was on Morpheus about a year ago (and I just checked Kazaa – it’s there too). It’s not for kids, but anyone in the UK who wants a copy, I’ll send it to them on CD. And, of course, Wil may have a copy (if he says ‘please’ 🙂
if you have managed to write a whole book as eloquently as this entry about simply playing with the kids, then i am buying it! again, i am surprised to find how articulate and mature you have become, despite the difficulties you must have faced doing your growing up on screen. keep it up! and i’m going now cos it sounds like i’m really kissing ass!
big love from a long time fan, jules x
Does anyone else think that the third from last paragraph sounds almost EXACTLY like the ending to Stand By Me?
Eerie.
I’m almost the same age as you are, and I’m lucky to have read this. It brings back memories of my own. I’m actually 27 and I can tell you as the years go by you pick up a great sense of being a parent and not a child anymore. While reading that I was reminded of my own memories of playing red rover red rover, and duck duck goose. All the silly games that as a child we took for granted, but as adults and onlookers of children we wish we could get back.
I’m reminded of what my grandfather said to me one day when I remarked that I wish I was older. He said to me ‘Krissy, just enjoy your youth and never take advantage of it because when you’re older you’ll wish you were this age again and time doesn’t turn back’, I didn’t understand what he meant then and those words hit like bricks now. Anyhow thanks Wil for the memories you brought back and for sharing yours. After all there is a little bit of a child left in all of us.
Kristi 🙂
I want to play
Wil- do you have to make me cry first thing in the morning? That was a really great entry, and I know exactly how you feel. While I don’t have kids of my own, I remember those kinds of nights from when I was a kid. Life now makes me wish I were that young again. And, speaking as a vegan, I was happy to see that you were eating tofu! 🙂
Kevin said instead of calling it “safe”, he called it “ghoul”. My friends and I called it “home.” Kevin, where did “ghoul” come from? Have a great day, everyone.
-Alicia
http://www.thewagband.com
Charity said:”Does anyone else think that the third from last paragraph sounds almost EXACTLY like the ending to Stand By Me?
Eerie.”
Yes. Either Wil was being clever and putting in an Allusion – or else he didn’t realise it and really has turned into Richard Dreyfuss. 🙂
Oh, and Wil, will you please be *my* step-dad too?
Thank you for making me run back to my hide and seek years. Beautiful.
I suppose that I’m so used to dealing with people who are jaded with life and compliments that I shy away from doling them out as often as I would like. However, I thought you should know that from my limited perspective, you have a wonderful outlook on life and truly are a lucky man. You have a beautiful family…and you are well aware of it. The love that you all share is amazing. I know you’ll treasure it always.
Kevin
This is why I come to visit your site every day. Beautiful. I’m so going outside and playing hide and go seek with my son tonight.
Wow, Wil, that was beautiful. 🙂
And yes, when I read that paragraph I thought of Stand by Me, too! 🙂
You remind me of my husband in your attitude towards the kids. Mine are 2 1/2 years, and 4 1/2 months, both boys. I remember the glint in his eyes and the “wow” look on my oldest’s face when daddy presented his old hot wheels collection to Joseph for his very own. He then proceeded to get down on the floor with him and crash into everything in site.
Are those car noises genetic to boys?
You’re lucky to be a participant in such a loving family – and I’m happy for you.
Wil,
Great story. It brought back many memories. Stand By Me was on Starz! last weekend and my wife and I watched the whole thing. What a great movie. My wife, who thinks I’m wacky for watching TNG and reading your site actually sat down and read your Blog.
She liked it and said she wouldn’t make fun of it or me, again.
Cool.
Rock on. Being a parent is the greatest thing in the world.
I’m an only child, but have two kids. I had a great moment last night when I heard how my 4-year-old daughter defended her 16-month-old brother. Another little girl was “being mean” and my girl said “Hey, be nice, he’s only a baby … and he’s my brother.”
*sighs and grins*
Wil,
As a father of two boys myself, I have found that finding time to play is critically important. I don’t care how busy you think you are, find more time to play with them. There are no do-overs in parenting. Waste a day and its gone forever.
Full circle.
Wil, keep those memories coming. My dad did a lot of things with me when I was a kid. He even took up downhill skiing when he was forty and I really appreciated it. Now it’s my turn with my three year old, and I make time no matter what to be with her every day and have some fun. There is nothing like lighting up a child’s face with happiness to make you realize just how precious family is. To rip off an aging tennis star’s advertising line, “attitude is everything.”, and Wil you have a great attitude and your step kids will remember it and take it with them into adulthood. One last quote from Dr. Who (Tom Baker) don’t remember the episode, “What’s the point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.”
And one final question Wil. How was the ALASKA CRUISE? I know, don’t bug me, read the book.
Memories are always with you. Make sure to cherish every one of them. It sure sounds like you will… so I won’t preach to the choir anymore. I just hope I can do those things when my nephew is old enough to play ball and hide and seek.
We just recently found out my wife is pregnant with our first child. I can’t wait until we can play together. That is one of the things I am looking forward to most.
GO TWINS!
Damn now I wish I could play. Please remember to take the time to play with your kids. Life is busy sometimes, but the time to play is now. They will grow up soon enough.
*And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”*
Live life with as few regrets as you can.
Balance is the key.
Damn Wil, here at am at my Uni library, surrounded by people I don’t know – and I’m choking trying to hold back the tears.
my dad never played with me 🙁
Your kids are very lucky, and I hope they know that.
You are a great man Wil.
Liam
It’s great to let the kid inside loose for some childish fun & games. Just don’t go chasing Anne with frogs 😉
Wil,
I read your site and am often struck by the articulate and beautiful words I find here. But this was by far my favorite entry. I am finding your written work is, in my opinion, the best work you’ve done.
Those are the precious moments in life where you stop to reprioritize and regain sight of the most important things. Your family is very lucky.
Best wishes.
Today’s little story brought some tears to my eyes.
Geez, it’s 6:30 am and I am sitting here all misty eyed.
I wanna play too!
This is why I need grandkids… but not too soon…
Awesome story Wil! Can’t wait for the book! Your writing draws me in every time!
And Kevin – yes we called it “gools” too.
That was beautiful, thanks Wil. 🙂
Hiding with the boy I had a crush on – man, that really takes me back. For some reason I always found this incredibly romantic as a little girl, even though everything about it was platonic. Wow.
Hi Wil-
awesome entry! I think when we grow up we forget that the kids in our lives enjoy the games of hide-n-seek WAY more than the PS2 games they’re given on every holiday. If they get a game of touch football with the family, they’ll remember that long after Christmas!
Rock On Wil! You’re an inspiration to me as a parent. I hope I inspire others as well. Pass it on,
Sue
Great story, Wil!
You sound like a great father… my father never did anything like that with me. He was always busy working, plus he was already in his 60s and ill when I was that age.
Wil,
I don’t usually comment, but I had to this time – awesome post.
Brought back wonderful memories of my childhood when my dad was able to play with us… whether it be the rare hide-and-go-seek in the dark or spontaneous wrestling.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I can’t wait for your book!
AHH! The memories from the darkness..It reminds me of the good old days when all we had to worry about was going to school and our friends.Wil I am glad you are here on the same level with your readers sharing nostalgic memories from the past.Taking us there with you.I felt like I was with you and hiding..waiting for you to find me again…Thank you! It just goes to show that we are all making memories for every child in our life.I think that I will make more memories today with my daughter..we are gonna play with some playdoh and maybe blow a few bubbles..
It’s great to have fun with kids, though it can be sad because it reminds me of when I was a kid. I miss being a kid! I am 32 now but my kids are older. I got married young so I have a 14 year old and a 12 year old. I look very young for my age so people often think my sons are my brothers. Fortunately they both seem to think I’m cool. I keep waiting for them to decide I’m uncool though. That will suck! 🙂
Oh! and two more words that bring back memories….ATARI.PACMAN. Awesome!
Great story, Wil. Giving the boys a moment like that will actually last a very long time. They never forget when you take the time to put aside boring chores to focus on them. When you make them feel special, you feel special, and it’s just a very good for all involved.
Awesome entry! My parents didn’t take time to play with us kids. It’s so cool that I get to share playtime with my toddler. I can’t wait for my 9 to 5 to finish for the day so I can spend the rest of the evening with my little guy.
That was an excellent story – it reminds me a bit of Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury. Read it?
Sometimes you need a break from all the grown-up stuff…
Uncle Willie,
I played hide and seek with Dad when I was seven and I was so good at hiding that he still hasn’t found me to this day!
Toodles!
Nephew Eric
I loved it when my siblings and I used to play outside with my dad. :::sigh::: I miss that. I think I’m the only one right now who’d want to spend time with my dad like that. My sister and brother are sort of in that rebellious stage right now. Maybe I can suggest hide and seek this weekend…
I’m a parent of 2, a girl 4 1/2 and a boy 2 1/2. Every day that I come home at a reasonable hour, the first thing I do is get on the floor and play with my kids.
Apparently, I’m the other father in my wife’s circle of friends who does anything like that. I love it and wouldn’t miss it for the world. I love my kids and my only hope for them in this world is that they are happy.
Everything else is gravy.
Way to go, Wil!
I remember being a kid and just enjoying how great it was when Mum or Dad would just let it go and get out and play with the kids.
Being in my 30’s now, I’m sure they ached the next day, and I’m sure it was just as special for them.
Having a kid now too, I know how important it is for me to keep that kind of play “special” — I can’t do it every day, or it would become commonplace, and the Atari (heh) would be the special thing.
Anything that can be special is somehow linked to a regret that there aren’t more special times — but the catch is, having more “special times” makes them less so. Hmm. Never thought of THAT before. Thanks Wil, for getting me thinking in that direction….more philosophy for me later.
“Technics.”
Loved the post. Later.
Wil you ARE morphing into “the writer” in SBM..
But that’s OK ..he was/is “one of the good guy’s.”
I wish I’d had a dad like you are to your son’s.
You all are so lucky…