“It’s 4:00 PM?! Holy shit! How did it get to be FOUR FREAKING IN THE AFTERNOON?!”
It’s 4:00 PM, and I only have thirty minutes before I have to leave. Anne will come home while I’m out, and I’ve been spending the last few hours cleaning the house, so she won’t walk into chaos when she arrives. It’s taken me longer than I intended, leaving me little time to iron my pants and my shirt.
I’m a ball of stress, because when I try to handle an iron, I may as well be using my feet. I’m a ball of stress because Ferris refuses to eat, and really wants to play with me while I’m adding wrinkles to my shirt. I’m a ball of stress because I’ve been invited to the formal dinner at Ruddock House, at Cal Tech, and I can’t pull myself together.
See, I desperately wish that I was a smarter, nerdier, more educated person than I am, and I’m about to go sit in a room full of people who know more about math, physics, engineering, and how to creatively blow things up than I ever will. So I am very nervous. I want to make a good impression, and I want to participate in the discussions intelligently. I also know that most of the room will be people who are at least familiar with Star Trek, if not full-on Trekkies, and it’s going to be really embarrassing when they realize that the smart kid from TV totally doesn’t rate.
So I’ve asked my friend Shane to come with me. He is a Cal Tech alum from 1992, and he lived in Ruddock House. I figure that if I clam up, he’ll help me feel comfortable, and draw attention away from what a lamer I am.
it’s 4:15, and my clothes are actually more wrinkled than they were when I started. For a brief moment, I wish polyester was back in fashion. This wish passes quickly as I remember what it felt like to actually wear polyester when I was a kid. I decide to kick Ferris out of the room, and focus, dammit.
I get the wrinkles out of my shirt, and hang it up, expecting it to fall onto the floor. Thankfully, it does not. Ferris has parked herself outside my bedroom door, and is sniffing at the space between it and the floor.
It’s 4:25, and my pants are looking good, but the area near the pockets is giving me trouble, so I add water to the iron, hoping for steam.
What I get is a puddle on my pants.
The door begins to breathe.
I shake off the pants, and press the iron into the puddle, turning it mostly to steam. I hope it will dry before I get to Tech.
The doorbell rings. It’s 4:30. I let Shane in, and while he entertains Ferris, I choose a tie. I wonder if I should go for my Star Wars tie, or my Where’s Waldo tie. I hold them both up, and decide that I’ll go for a much more conservative tie, which I call my “1950’s Science Teacher Tie.”
Shane changes into a shirt and Looney Tunes tie, and we’re ready to go. I sure hope my pants dry.
We make the short drive to Tech, listening to Boingo Alive, catching up. I don’t get to see Shane at all these days, as a consequence of our schedules and stuff, so it’s nice to get a few minutes to talk about what we’re doing, and how our lives are. I don’t tell him how nervous I am, and if he notices, he doesn’t ask.
We arrive at Tech, and make our way into Ruddock. We find Abe, who has invited us to dinner.
Abe and his roommates are dressed casually, sitting in their room. Shane and I realize that we’re an hour early.
Oh jeeze. At least my pants are dry.
I don’t’ want to make this guy entertain me for a whole hour, so I tell Shane to take me around the campus. I haven’t seen it in over 10 years, so it will be fun. We tell Abe that we’ll catch up with him in the dining room at 6, and head out.
Shane gives me a very nice 25 cent tour, and I wistfully long to be in college, when the primary cares in the world are getting good grades and hooking up with a DG on the weekend. I think about how much there is for me to learn, how much there is for me to understand. I think about how much knowledge I don’t have to pass on to my step-kids. I envy the people on the other side of the walls, as we walk past the various residence halls.
Thirty minutes later, we’ve circumnavigated the entire campus, and we’re back in the dining hall. Fifteen minutes later, and the residents begin filing in.
I talk with many of them, answering questions about Star Trek and my website. I find out that Abe is one of the editors of a humor publication for Ruddock House called The BFD, so we talk about satire and comedy. Shane sees people he graduated with, and he slips through the crowd to go talk to them, leaving me. I look inward, expecting to find panic…they’re going to realize that I’m not cool, I think…but the panic isn’t there. Though I’m not nearly as smart as these people, I’m amongst friends. I am amongst people of a similar mind, and I feel welcome and at home.
We joke about nerdy things, though I quickly become aware of the difference in our ages. I’m much older than these guys, so some of my nerdy references sail over their heads — not because they’re dense, but because I’m talking about something that happened before they were born.
Dinner is served, and we take our seats. I really enjoy the company of the people I’m sitting near, and the meal is excellent. The time flies by too quickly, and dinner is finished.
The president of Ruddock stands up and says that there are several guests tonight, and now is the time for them to be introduced.
A student at the end of our table stands, and introduces his guests, and the student sitting across from him does the same. I begin to get nervous, knowing that I’m going to be standing up in front of all these people in less than a minute. I close my mouth and run my tongue across my teeth, hoping that my Standard Issue British Teeth haven’t snagged any food for later. Finding none, I turn my attention back to the students who are now standing across from us. It’s the Ruddock librarian, a very nice, mirthful young man who was introduced to me earlier in the evening as “The Biggest Star Trek Fan Of All Time.” He stands, and announces to the dining room, “Hi. My name is Wil Wheaton…”
There is much laughter, and I shout out, “I hated you on Star Trek!!”
There is even more laughter. I allow myself to smile…that was pretty funny.
It is Abe’s turn to introduce me, and I stand up.
“This is Wil Wheaton,” he says. There is applause and some whistling. I feel really embarrassed and self conscious. It’s really strange to me to feel this way, but it happens every time I’m the focus of people’s attention and I’m not on stage. I manage to wave at them all, and say “Thank you,” before settling back into my seat.
The rest of the introductions are made, as well as some announcements, and the dinner is done.
I could hang out all night with these people, talking about Lord of the Rings and The Simpsons, but Shane has to teach a class early in the morning, so we must leave.
As we’re on our way out, a guy asks me if I’ll participate in the good-natured teasing of their RA, a very pretty girl who, he tells me, had a big crush on my when she was young. I ask him what he has in mind. He tells me that I should go up to her, and kiss her hand. I decline, because it seems a bit presumptuous, and I suggest he think of something else while I sign the Ruddock guest book.
When I return, he has a devilish idea: I should walk over to her, and tell her that I’m a big fan of hers. I agree.
I walk across the room, and she looks up. I guess the group of guys is following me, because she blushes, and proceeds to describe to them the various ways she’s going to dismember them.
“Can I shake your hand?” I ask her, taking her hand in mine. “When I was a kid, I subscribed to Hot RA Magazine just so I could have your pictures on my wall!”
She laughs, I laugh, and the guys laugh. She describes further acts of torture they’ll be enduring, as I produce my camera from my pocket. I ask her if she’ll pose for a picture with me, and she agrees. We snap the photo, and then it’s my turn to pose with some people for a few others.
We thank Abe for the invite, and he tells us that we can come back for a non-formal dinner any time.
I can’t wait to go back and enjoy their company again. The genuine kinship these people seem to have is warm and wonderful. I hope they realize how lucky they are, and don’t take this time for granted.
I certainly didn’t.
107 thoughts on “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?”
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Sounds like you had a great time 😉
another great story!
Nothing like watching yourself address a crowd!
that’s a good one…
Thanks for coming to our Formal Dinner. We thought Abe was bs-ing us, but he really followed through. I hope we didn’t scare you too much with our cameras.
Great reply to the guy who introduced himself as you. You have a great sense of humor, dude.
Hey Wil. I talked to you briefly tonight; I was the guy that told you I watched “Stand By Me” last night. We talked briefly about the DVD documentary. It was awesome having you at dinner tonight; it would be delightful to have you come again. Our regular dinners are definitely a lot more fun/wild/crazy 🙂 Anyway, take care!
I completely relate with how you feel regarding college, and longing to be there, and feeling out of your depth around some people. I thoroughly enjoy reading your journal – not because you’re famous or anything like that, but because I find myself nodding in agreement and relating to a lot of the everyday things you talk about. You’re witty and intelligent, and you write up a fun read. We’re only a couple years or so apart in age, in the same generation or so. I know what it’s like to make a pop culture reference or crack a joke — and have it fly over friends’ heads because it’s before their time.
Sounds like a great time! Time seems to pick up speed..
Wow…. It’s strange to hear the nervousness coming from the opposite side. I never talked to you (along with a lot of other people, many of whom really wanted to). Two reasons: 1) Other people idolize you much more than I do/did 2) I was nervous. Of course, reason 2 is probably much more of the reason. Anyway, you’ve got to come back and visit again. You’re the coolest celeb I’ve had the chance to see into the mind of.
Rock on. Cal Tech’s a really neat school (and I’m not saying it because I go there. I don’t).
need conclusion to vegas story please 🙂
Playing jokes on people is fun! I hope that RA gets those guys back just as well as they got her.
I’ve been having those “Did I miss something by not going to college?” feelings myself too. There are so many really cool things to learn, and I would love to learn all of them. But, to be honest, the structure of it kind of scares me.
Glad you had a fun dinner with cool people.
omg wtf bbq!!! Abe has only one roommate, you know. The other guy was just perusing our vintage Playboy magazines (for its classic articles). The real roommate (me) was the one ‘casually dressed’ in a Hawaiian shirt when you and Shane materialized early. We were just checking your web site then, so the timing was really uncanny.
Thanks for writing ‘I am not retarded’ with your autograph on your picture from “Jane White is Sick and Twisted”! Come back anytime. You can even bring Lady Wheaton.
Wil, Wil, Wil… I would expect that you would know the difference between being a smart person and being an educated person. You don’t have to be one to be the other. So stop thinking that those people are smarter than you. They may be good at physics and boring stuff like that, but you actually use your brain to look at yourself, the people you have relationships with, and the world…
The fact that you not only sensed the kinship in that group of people, but recognized it for what it was and could put it into words shows your insight you have when it comes to people. Many people would come out of there and know in the back of their minds that there was something different, but not be able to verbalize what it was.
I think that being gifted the way you are is far more valuable that being Mathematician George Frankly with Mathnet on Square1 TV.
The way you reflect on events in your life and write about them speaks of your intelligence.
Then again, for all I know your wife writes all this stuff and it’s all a ploy to get you your own fanboys. I haven’t heard or seen an actual interview with you. Ever.
Kinda makes you think…
Wil, great story. Loved reading it. So where is the picture? 😉
This is my first visit to your site. I finally got a hair up my ass, so I decided to check it out. Hehe, not that “OMG!!! I HATED YOU ON STTNG!!!”…I’m just a total lazy ass who is devoted to too many websites and admining too many boards. And, well, I had such a HUGE crush on you when I was younger.
Um, yes, now that’s out of the way, I think it’s pretty cool how you keep this blog, and you share your life for others to see. I didn’t think you to be some pretentious jerk like a lot of actors/ex-actors are, and this blog certainly shows what a great guy you are. I’ll definitely have to keep up on things, so I hope you don’t mind while I stick around. 😉
I decided to finally check out your blog because I’ve heard how cool of a guy you really are on Fark, and this just proves it. I think it’s great that you don’t mind “sticking it all out for everyone to see”. I could only wish that more thespians/former thespians were as down-to-earth as you. So I really hope you don’t mind me sticking around here. I’d like to see what else you have to say.
And does it also help that I had a very big crush on you as a young girl? Hehe, I thought it might. Of course, I’m sure you hear that all the time.
Bah, damn. Sorry, Wil. T1 connection I may have, but it’s still so shitty. I thought it ate the other post. Sorry about that, man.
Read all those comments up there ^ Wil, *then* tell me people don’t think you’re smart and cool and stuff.
🙂
Glad to hear the Rudds treated you right! I’m from Blacker Hovse, class of ’97. And I could have told you not to worry too much about the small stuff… even at dress dinners, most Techers don’t really notice a few wrinkles! Now, if you’d been talking one of the fancy fundraiser faculty and associate shindigs, that’s another matter…
I agree with ionicus, Wil. If you weren’t the intelligent, witty and warm man you are, the majority of the people that are regulars here just wouldn’t bother. Don’t ever feel as though you need to live up to someone else’s standards, your own work just fine for you.
And if all else fails, dude, you were on STAR TREK!
http://www.startledfrog.com/beretwearingelitist/
Hey there Wil,
Glad you had a nice time. It’s nice to read about one of our social events from a non-Techer perspective. Please feel free to come by often. You’ll get to talk about all the stuff you didn’t get to talk about tonight, and you’ll get to get your host in trouble if you do something bad at dinner, like throwing rolls during dinner (hint hint…) ^_^
/me drinks coffee
mmmmmmmmm education
computer science and journalism it is for me 😛
i know that learning for knowledge feeling very well…but thats the interesting bit isn’t it…you think “i will never be able to do *that*” and the ping! 8 months later you look back and you’re nearly there. Until you find out that there is a ton of other stuff waiting…but those look-back-moments when you know you positively *DIDN’T* know these things 3/6/9/12 months (tick applicable) and you now *DO* are something really precious.
Sounds like a lovely time, glad you enjoyed yourself. Usually the times we work ourselves up into a nervous wreck end up being some of the best times of our lives. For instance, I have to go to the dentist today… I’m nervous (I hate the dentist) so maybe something cool will happen and he’ll bring out a guitar and we’ll jam for awhile… perhaps not… but eh… anything to make the time go past a little less painfully. Peace!
why mention that you took a picture of this girl if your not going to post the picture of this girl?
dude i hate that.
please post the pic.
now that i think of it, i realize how fucking cool that last post would be if you put the pic up, i mean think about it, it would then become “mixed media” bah
Glad to hear you had a good time at dinner, when i was reading the post before i couldn’t understand why you were so nervous.
Lookin forward to seeing some pics that you took (or that people took and scanned/emailed to you).
Oh, and tell Ferris to take the day off.
*Hopefully that’s not a pop-culture reference that’ll go over too many people’s heads*
I’m confused. You got invited to eat at a college fraternity house? Why is this an honor?
Want to come to Johnstown, PA, to eat at the Delta Chi house? Well, they don’t actually have a place to eat, but they’ll take you to the student union. Well, they’ll direct you to the student union, I mean, they won’t PAY for you or anything
sounds to me like you had nothing to be nervous for afterall….
and the way you handled yourself with the RA?
cool man…
you’re a class act mr. wheaton…
do people still really actually expect you to be the yound wunderkind you played on TNG?
that would be pretty hard to live up to all the time…
i think it must be pretty reassuring when they get to finally see the real you…and like you even more than the character…
cheers wil
Tyson
Hehehe. That was very entertaining, you have a really nice way with words. Thank God your pants dried… it’s worse when you’ve just spilled a generous amount of coffee on your (white) pants at an outdoor gathering (went home, couldn’t be bothered to go back to the party…)
I think I enjoyed the comments from students at the event as much as I enjoyed the original story.
But, umm, Jeffrey… if you haven’t read an interview with Wil. Ever. …. then, you need to go one blog entry down to “1 wish, granted” and click the link.
Jo duuuude, just read the article on the onion and saw the photo there and holy shiat! you’re getting wrinkles! heh heh!
nice interview though 🙂
It was SOOO awesome to have you, Wil. It was quite a good time.
Thanks for coming! And like Libin said, feel free to come by another time, we’d love to have you!
Damn!
Now I want to go back to college!
LOL Hey, Wil, you used the word “circumnavigate”–that makes you pretty smart in my book! 😉
Hot RA Magazine…Oh man, I had to use every bit of strength not to snort out loud when I read that part (I’m in the library)!!!! I know exactly what that girl felt like, ’cause I would’ve been making the same threats, lol!
OK, I wandered through AcronymFinder trying to come up with what “DG” might stand for, and although it could be any number of things, I’m going to assume “Dirty Genitals” or “Dangerous Goods” – Am I close at all?
intellegence is not one of the things they teach in college…it is possible to be a learned person without ever having attended an institution of higher education…for example abraham lincoln.
Perhaps it’s already been said (I didn’t read through all the comments) … I was always academic (did well in school, academic scholarships, etc) and the people I know who make me feel DUMB never went to college. They’ve taught me more about living than college ever did. I don’t think I used college to its potential, but it gave me an education, which gave me the ability to get and keep a job. But I’ve recently been seeing how little I know. Can I get a scholarship to the college of life?
a little off the topic but
http://www.eonline.com/Features/Features/HarryPotter02/index.html?fdfour3
i didn’t know you knew harry potter!
heh
You know what?? I’m so happy that you like LOTR!!! I’m in love w/ LOTR myself! I hate to admit that my first reason was b/c of Sean Astin. HOTTIE!!!!!!!! Anyway, I’m gonna watch you on Star Trek tonight!! Go and kick butt!! ~~*Gooniegirl*~~
Your description of getting ready for the dinner at Cal Tech reminded me of how I feel every year at Back to School Night getting ready to face a room full of parents.
I may have done the college thing, but I’ve probably learned more in my life from my grandmother than from anyone else. And she’s only got a high school diploma from night school.
Agree with other comments that college education != smart. However, it’s never too late to pursue it if it’s something you want to do. Most major universities have evening and/or weekend programs especially for working adults. I’m finally about to graduate just shy of 20 years after I was originally supposed to. It has been kinda cool to do it for myself since originally it was for parental/societal expectations and all. I think I actually got more out of it the second go round than I did the first.
Wil:
Sounds like you had a good time. You’ll
just have to try to remember that the next
time you get nervous and have a “great time”
every time you get invited to these things! 🙂
I don’t think many really expect you to be
Mr. “super-genius” Wesley Crusher. After all,
who did they invite “Wesley” or “Wil” ???
I see a lot of comments above asking for the
picture of you and the girl but I would think
that she has probably been embarrassed enough
already and besides, Wil probably broke the
camera since he was in the picture *EVIL GRIN*
-Matt
Wil:
Sounds like you had a good time. You’ll
just have to try to remember that the next
time you get nervous and have a “great time”
every time you get invited to these things! 🙂
I don’t think many really expect you to be
Mr. “super-genius” Wesley Crusher. After all,
who did they invite “Wesley” or “Wil” ???
I see a lot of comments above asking for the
picture of you and the girl but I would think
that she has probably been embarrassed enough
already and besides, Wil probably broke the
camera since he was in the picture *EVIL GRIN*
-Matt
Wil:
Sounds like you had a good time. You’ll
just have to try to remember that the next
time you get nervous and have a “great time”
every time you get invited to these things! 🙂
I don’t think many really expect you to be
Mr. “super-genius” Wesley Crusher. After all,
who did they invite “Wesley” or “Wil” ???
I see a lot of comments above asking for the
picture of you and the girl but I would think
that she has probably been embarrassed enough
already and besides, Wil probably broke the
camera since he was in the picture *EVIL GRIN*
-Matt
Would have done anything to be that RA at that very moment…(I had the biggest crush on you as well) Ahh the memories!
“The door begins to breathe.”
🙂
Hey wil,
dont feel bad about missing out or not being smart enough around the college crowd.
i went to a year and a half of college. it was alot of fun, but i had a little too much fun and got bored taking classes **curse of taking advanced classes for no college credit in highschool** and ran out of money because my mom didnt make enough money for me to get good financial aid **how dumb is that**
now i have a boyfriend that works at microsoft and we’re constantly doing things/hanging out with people who work there. you think going Cal Tech and having dinner at a frat house makes you feel like you dont fit in for not being smart enough try having a dozen friends that all work for microsoft except you playing board games/RPGs. the strangest part of this story is that i’ve known some of these people for about 6 months now and last week they asked me what do i work on at microsoft. so i guess that if your smart it doesnt matter if you went to college or not. it’s about what you know and can talk about with the crowd your with. some of these people are older than my 22 years and i make jokes/quotes that are too old for them to understand. 🙂
oh and one last thing. i hadn’t seen an episode of ST:TNG until my boyfriend bought the dvd boxed sets. unless you count the one i was forced to watch at a friends house when i was 14 or 15 and we made out so that i didnt have to watch it.
anyway dont feel bad about the college thing. it’s hard, repetitive and too damned expensive
i hope to be posting again sometime.
peace
DLN
College was fun…so much fun that I went back to get my masters…and I’m sure ill go back again to get my PhD. So if you do decide to go to college, I commend you…you learn a lot…even out of class (in between the classes). Glad to see you enjoyed yourself at the dinner…and while I’m suprised at how nervous you were about going to this dinner…at the same time I’m not suprised…what you were feeling was quite normal.
Bryan