STFU

Took the day off today, and went on a long walk with Anne.
She pointed out that November is her favorite month, and it was easy to see why, with the sun warming our shoulders, as we walked beneath the bluest blue sky I’ve seen over Pasadena in years.
As we walked down Colorado Boulevard, in and out of the cool shadows cast by stores and the occasional tree, we hit upon a wonderful, awful, Grinchy idea: We’d walk quickly to a movie theatre, buy tickets for the next showing of Harry Potter, and we’d race ourselves home, manufacture a reason to snatch the boys from school, and take them to the movies.
It was brilliant. We hit the theatre at 11, bought tickets for the 12:30 show, and had time to grab a bagel before we made it back home. We took the kids out of school for “personal reasons” and settled into our seats with time to spare.
Now, I don’t go to the movies too often. It just strikes me as stupid to pay money to listen to other people talk on their phones and smack gaping mouthfuls of popcorn while slurping the last drops of Coke out of their super-sized drink cups.
I don’t know why people can’t stay quiet, and respectful of their fellow audience members for a few short hours. I suppose they feel that their ticket entitles them to behave however they’d like, so I usually stay home, and spare myself the aggravation.
Well, if you were in the 12:30 show today, I’d just like to say, as a member of the audience: WOULD. YOU. PLEASE. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! Talk in your home, talk in your car. Talk anywhere, really, but shut the fuck up when you’re in the theatre.
Sorry. A teeny bit of pent-up aggression there. =]
The movie was entertaining, though I didn’t enjoy it as much as the first one, which I watched in silence in my own house. I haven’t read the books, but Ryan has, and he told us that the film was a more-or-less faithful adaptation. I think it could have been about 30 minutes shorter, but I also think the theater could have been about 30 times quieter.
It was worth it, though, because the kids had an amazing time. We ensured that they wouldn’t be missing anything vital in school, and I think we helped create a fond memory today.
Thought for today:

“Not all those who wander are lost.”

144 thoughts on “STFU”

Dude, that happened to me and my mom too at the movie theater! We went to see Harry Potter, and there were these 3 skanky ladies sitting behind us and one kept burping loud throught the whole movie… one was saying “Fuck this fuck that” and the other kept blowing bubbles loudly and kicking our seats. I was about to tell them where to go but I decided that I should just ignore it. It sure was annoying tho.
I liked the first movie a lot better too. CoS was choppy and they didn’t put in a lot of Professor Lockhart, which he happens to be in the book a lot more. And didn’t put in alot Professor Snape stuff either. But the DVD should be good cuz they had to cut a lot out. yay.

1) you’re a hella cool parent Wil…
2) READ THE BOOKS…they’re wonderful…way better than the movies…(although the movies are fairly good and more or less faithful)
3) people that talk or otherwise ruin a good movie experience suck…
but hey….they’ll be the first with their backs against the wall when your revolution comes 😉
cheers wil…
ty

a note on todays entry
/F.L.A.M.E

hey, it’s my first time commenting…
things are even WORSE if you live in a non english speaking country!
i live in japan, and everyone talks (as in “at normal conversation volume”) during movies.
maybe it’s because 99% of the audience is reading the (japanese) subtitles.
yes, that means that nearly 99% of the audience is not listening to anything at all!!!
AGH!!!

nicely written! sounds like the small ones had a good time. Buy the large drink next time, and use the straw for spitwads at chatterboxes. it is Just dark enough and very entertaining, believe me! [you will need to rent the movie later so you can actually watch it] hehe have fun folks. ;p

MAN! was it your intent to be a sounding board for people’s problems? whew!! be positive!
see yas ;p

So true!!! I saw the 4:30 today (Saturday) on the promenade over here in Santa Monica. I think your entire theater drove over here just for that showing. Someone actually ANSWERED their phone in the movie! Bastards.

That was cool, Wil. “Personal reasons” is the perfect excuse and not being hypocritical or a “lie”, it was a very personal time for the family. Phew, some people need to chill!
I saw the movie Friday night at the 9:45pm showing. Plenty of kids there for a movie that was going to end about 12:30am. I found the kids got quiet a lot sooner for this movie, at the first Harry Potter movie it took about a half hour before the kids really got quiet, at this show they were quiet after only 5 minutes.
I had only 2 interruptions. One was when a boy a couple of seats down in the row behind me seemed to be intently explaining something to his friend, but he stopped talking before he got on my nerves. The other was when the boy sitting in back of me started shaking his bucket of popcorn, but a quick “shh!” stopped him.
BTW, the popcorn buckets for this show were advertising Star Trek: Nemesis. Yeah, I bought one, although I knew I could never eat all that popcorn. But HBO showed the first Harry Potter movie on Saturday, so I finished the rest of the popcorn watching it.
Although a lot of folks seem to be prodding Wil to read the books, I vote “no” on this issue. I like coming into a booked based movie with no knowledge of the book. I want to see if the movie will stand on its own. So many times I heard people express disappointment at a movie because it wasn’t exactly like the book. No movie is going to be exactly like a book and no movie is going to match your imagination of a book. It must capture the spirit of the book, and although I’ve just skimmed The Chambers of Secrets after seeing the movie, I think the movie outdoes the book. At least the Quidditch match is much more exciting than anything I could have imagined and is much more on screen than in the book. I’ll see when I get a chance to read it later today. At 2 hours and 40 minutes, I think it will take me less time to read the book than it did to see the movie.
I believe they start filming the next movie in about a month (from Daniel Radcliffe on a recent talk show). I wonder who they have to replace Richard Harris as Prof. Dumbledore? He will be missed. And there’s a new director – Alfonso Cuar

Just went to see Harry Potter last night at the cinema. I just want to say that if any of you guys are even in Scotland…do not go to the Glasgow East Showcase cinema. Not unless you want stupid, annoying kids asking their flabby, belching parents whats happening evey five minutes, or having every cunting brain dead fuck in the place munching on the contents of rustling paper bags, and glugging down bottles of Buckfast that they smuggled into the cinema. It really spoled the film for me.
“Whits tha’ ma?” – inbred child
“Thats his wand,” – inbred mother
“YOU DONT FUCKING SAY!!!! I KNOW ITS A WAND AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!! SHUT UP!” – Me.
On the film itself, it was much more coherent than the first one, and the actors seemed for comfortable with their characters. Good fun. Not in the same league as Lord of the Rings, but you can’t have everything.

I wish I had parents who would do that! Mine won’t ever let me miss school, unless I can’t actually walk from my room to the door. Even then the doctor has to flinch when he sees me or I only get a half day. Too bad those people were so bad, I’ve never had too much trouble with movies, must be an American thing (just joking, no offense meant.) It can be fun sometimes, if you’re in the right mood for it.

afaik some theatres here in sweden have a system to jam phone signals so they can’t be used inside. A very nice solution, I wish they would have it in all. and maybe in a couple of hundred years they can also jam talking people 🙂
I think the people that have a problem with taking the kids out of school for a movie have a more or less subconscious envy that their parents never did something like that.

Academic damage to kids: tiny to non-existant. Enhancement to family life: large.
We were at a screening of “The Thin Red Line”, there’s group of about a dozen kids with two parents down in front, the oldest kid about sixteen, youngest about four. They were yacking and chatting and beeping, and the management came and threw them out, the parents objecting. I’m not sure that that movie is age appropriate for anyone other than a combat vet.
Another time, there were a couple of dudes babbling on their cellphones; someone stood up, told them to “Hang it up and shut up!”, and the audience cheered; the offenders fled.

Just a small comment: anyone who thought the ‘Quidditch’ match in the first movie was exciting needs to get out more. Maybe it was more exciting than reading about it in a book, but I personally found it tedious and overlong, and after the first few minutes I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

Wil,
Good on you and Anne for taking the kids to see the HP movie. School will always be there. To those folks who got their panties in a bunch about the kids missing school — get over it.
Wil wasn’t asking for your validation — he was sharing a happy family memory with you.
As for the clueless dweebs who talked through the movie — that is precisely WHY the husband and I rent DVDs and watch them in the privacy of our home. That, and our floors are a lot cleaner and the food is better (and cheaper).
Wanna see what we did on vacation last month?
http://webpages.charter.net/markpet/newmexico/newmex.html
Spacewriter

All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not whither,
depp roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broke:
The crownless again shall be king.
Has somebody been watching the Lord of the Rings: Special Edition?
Or have i missed something more profound, as per usual?
Anyway, that was a real cool thang you did.
50 Point awarded to Willindor.

I find the same with movies. Over the years, I’ve encountered:
1) The Laughing Man: there’s always some guy who laughs and laughs, normally quite loud and usually at stuff that isn’t even funny
2) The Quoting Man: an extension of the Laughing Man is the Quoting Man, the guy who laughs at everything that isn’t funny, and then proceeds to quote the dialogue out loud
3) The Tall Man: maybe it’s just me, but the world’s tallest guy tends to sit in front of me all the time
4) The Gossip Girls: 2 or 3 young girls sit there gas-bagging about anything and everything inane, usually nothing to do with the movie
5) Mr No-It-All: I once saw Clear and Present Danger and some guy was there, trying to impress his girlfriend by saying stuff like “I have a friend who works at the CIA…this film isn’t real”. If I was the girl, I would have kicked him in the nuts. I mean, like, duh!
6) Stand-Up Comedy Man: twice now, some bloke has stood up, prior to the film, turned to the movie goers and just started joking with them like they were his own personal audience. Admittedly, they were kinda funny and stopped before the film started.
Bah, humbug. I wait a couple of weeks for films I really want to see, and see some obscure session, like the Sunday 3:39pm screening.
Still, it’s fun to be impulsive and my Dad took me outta school for some crazy stuff, which I do fondly remember.
michael weinhardt

I just saw the movie. Packed theatre. Quiet patrons. You must go to the wrong theatres.

Give your kids memories like that and they have them for life. Much better than giving them stuff which comes and goes….
I went and saw Signs on opening day and had to tell the young teenage girl next to me to please not talk during the movie. She and her friend didn’t talk much during the flick, but sure had a lot to say after…..I haven’t been called an asshole like that in a really long time….
Bernie

When I was a kid my Dad used to drive us past the Metro Toronto Zoo on our way to school each morning. We would always beg him to stop at the zoo instead.
It worked about once a year. Those were some of the best days ever because they were so unexpected.
Good memories. And a good lesson too. I think is important for kids to understand that we are not locked into our routines and that some times we can break out of them.
Why should children feel like they are stuck “at the office” five days a week? THEY ARE KIDS!! They have there whole lives to be responsible!

Hey Wil lol i know what you mean about just wanting people to stfu in theaters. I remember when i was in te 8th grade i’d always get in trouble with security for talking, being loud, things like that and they would come in and kick us out. I remember this one time i snuck into a rated R movie with my friends and this cop was sitting next to us and threatened to kick us out for not being with a parent we were so scared but we went to the bottom of the row and started screaming and making noise anyway and dumping bags of popcorn on the boys next to us. It was histerical but i feel bad for the people sitting around us some we would get in fights with and they would be screaming and cursing at us to stfu.

I totally agree about how rude people are in the movie theatre. My poor neck gets so sore from snapping my head around and giving the evil eye to the woman who has to ask her significant other “What just happened? Who is he? Why are they doing that?” WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE AND MAYBE YOU’D KNOW!!! *sigh* Anyway….people need to learn some frikken manners 🙂

Was reading comments and came across one saying that the sort of movie audience that needs to STFU doesn’t happen in England.
Well, I thought it didn’t… until I went to see Harry Potter yesterday. It was a late showing so there was nary a kid in sight.
Plenty of college-age students whispering loudly and laughing at inappropriate moments such as during the confrontation and fight scenes etc.
To cap it all off, my smart-ass boyfriend decided to do a running Freudian commentary on the film until I finally told him to shut up. The people next to be looked grateful and I was so annoyed and embarassed.
Now, someone might tell me: is this a culture clash thing because while I felt that it was disrespectful laughing and whispering at inappropriate moments in the movie even if you think it’s a kids movies and shouldn’t be accorded respect, the Boyfriend (an American) said that they had the right to do so and I should just chill instead of judging.
As for me, I was left wondering: is it too much to ask people to respect others in the movie theatre?

I’m with you Wil – I love the movies, but hate the idiots. There are a few places around here (Columbus, Ohio) where you can pay extra and get a good quiet viewing, but even that’s not certain.
That’s why I’ve developed a new obsession – I’m building a theater in my home! If you thought computer nerds or Trekers were bad, let me introduce you to the Home Theater crowd! http://www.avsforum.com

Hm. Maybe I should hint something to my mom.
[In an outside voice] “It sure would be nice to see Harry Potter…”
[Mom in an equally outsidey voice] “No it wouldn’t be…”
Poopers.

Just one comment. Read the books. You won’t regret it.

Wow – people are much quieter where I’m from. No cell phones or conversations, just watching the movie.
We saw the movie Friday evening with the theater sold out and it was still quiet…and a lot of fun.

No problems in my showing, and I’m in soCal as well. There was sporadic applause at certain moments, and a fairly enthusiastic round of applause when Dobby bounced Lucius Malfoy off the floor outside Dumbledore’s office. We’d been waiting three hours for that … 🙂
Anyone else think that Malfoy Sr. is like the Evil Bond Girl of the Harry Potter universe? Seriously — there’s always one chick in those movies who’s malevolent and homicidal, hot as hell, not all there upstairs, and the most satisfying part of the movie is watching them get it.

all that glitters is not gold…
I like your quote.

Shrieking inside with glee over your Elessar quotage…

Don’t you just hate noisy theatres? That’s the very reason I almost always wait until the DVD is released.
However, I sort of had the same idea for Harry Potter, out of pure coincidence, I also took the family to a 12:30 showing.
Maybe it’s just the lunchtime movies that are noisy? Naw … couldn’t be! ;p

Hahaha…. yeah, we had the same problem with retards talking when we went to see Harry Potter opening night here in Austin. (By the way, first time to visit your site, Wil. Very awesome indeed.) Me and my boyfriend were about ready to wage war on the nasty rednecks in front of us who wouldn’t stop talking and the giggly teenage girls next to us who kept laughing at things that were supposed to be sentimental. Reminds me not to go to the megaplexes anymore for popular movies.
*sigh*
At least we have the Alamo Drafthouse out here in Austin. There, before every movie, they have a trailer that literally says “Shut the fuck up during the movie or we’ll kick your ass out.” Crude language and all. And they follow through!
If only megaplexes would pay their employees enough to care and pay attention during the movies enough to kick out these schmucks. Unfortunately, most teens with minumum wage crap-jobs aren’t willing to put up the effort to do so when getting $5.15 an hour for working 39 hour weeks.
Grrrr…. yeah, if you can’t tell from my bitterness, I (a) can’t stand talkers, and (b) indeed used to work that crappy theater job back in high school. Luckily, while I was working, Office Space came out and convinced me to go the Peter Gibbons route. It was either that, or burn the building down, so I decided to go the more legal route.
-Amanda G. ;0p

My friend Michelle and I went to see Harry Potter a few nights ago. Now, Laramie Wyoming as you can imagine is not a big city; and there is not much to do in this pathetic college town except get drunk. So OF COURSE everyone was at the movie. We sat in the front row in the corner (the only seats left). To add to my discomfort some shit head behind me thought it was his job to add commentary every damn five seconds. “Wow that was cool!” “I want a flying broom…” BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Its nice to see that rude people don’t just live here in white cracker honkey town.

I guess I’m a bit lucky. With the exception of the movie Jackass, (and really, can you watch it without saying things like “Noooooo! He’s not gonna…” and such), most of the movies I see have a quiet audience. Or maybe it’s just me since I only hear in one ear…. hmmmmmm… Sounds like you had a great day with your kids Wil! My daughter is seeing Harry Potter with her childcare center tomorrow… maybe I can cut work and chaperone?

I can relate to dumb-asses in the theatre. I went to see Christopher Plummer in King Lear this summer and some asshole in the theatre was unwrapping a candy during the scene where Lear carries Cordelia’s body in.
Cellophane wrapped candies, cellphones and stupid people should be banned from theatres.

HERE!! HERE!!!!
I don’t know if it’s that these people think they are in there own living rooms, or what, but they need a good smack up side the head. I wonder if the studios know that this might be in large part why people often wait for the DVD/Video to come out instead of going to the theatres.
Cheers,
bb

hello. my first post here 🙂 gotta love this site, dontcha? was wondering if anyone knows who said “Not all those who wander are lost.”? is it Wil’s own quote? I *like* it a lot.

Re: the “not all those who wander are lost” quote.
The quote is a snippet from Tolkien; it’s a lyric in one of Bilbo’s songs.
It’s also something of a personal motto of mine (I’ve got in painted in glow-in-the-dark paint on the front of my tent; handy for finding your way back to your sleeping bag at 4am during a bush doof…), so it gave me a bit of a start to see it quoted here…