STFU

Took the day off today, and went on a long walk with Anne.
She pointed out that November is her favorite month, and it was easy to see why, with the sun warming our shoulders, as we walked beneath the bluest blue sky I’ve seen over Pasadena in years.
As we walked down Colorado Boulevard, in and out of the cool shadows cast by stores and the occasional tree, we hit upon a wonderful, awful, Grinchy idea: We’d walk quickly to a movie theatre, buy tickets for the next showing of Harry Potter, and we’d race ourselves home, manufacture a reason to snatch the boys from school, and take them to the movies.
It was brilliant. We hit the theatre at 11, bought tickets for the 12:30 show, and had time to grab a bagel before we made it back home. We took the kids out of school for “personal reasons” and settled into our seats with time to spare.
Now, I don’t go to the movies too often. It just strikes me as stupid to pay money to listen to other people talk on their phones and smack gaping mouthfuls of popcorn while slurping the last drops of Coke out of their super-sized drink cups.
I don’t know why people can’t stay quiet, and respectful of their fellow audience members for a few short hours. I suppose they feel that their ticket entitles them to behave however they’d like, so I usually stay home, and spare myself the aggravation.
Well, if you were in the 12:30 show today, I’d just like to say, as a member of the audience: WOULD. YOU. PLEASE. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! Talk in your home, talk in your car. Talk anywhere, really, but shut the fuck up when you’re in the theatre.
Sorry. A teeny bit of pent-up aggression there. =]
The movie was entertaining, though I didn’t enjoy it as much as the first one, which I watched in silence in my own house. I haven’t read the books, but Ryan has, and he told us that the film was a more-or-less faithful adaptation. I think it could have been about 30 minutes shorter, but I also think the theater could have been about 30 times quieter.
It was worth it, though, because the kids had an amazing time. We ensured that they wouldn’t be missing anything vital in school, and I think we helped create a fond memory today.
Thought for today:


“Not all those who wander are lost.”

144 thoughts on “STFU”

  1. Wil,
    That was a long but good movie. I got lucky because I got to see it with a bunch of quiet people. These were some of the best kids that junk food could buy. I think they will get to see the second LORD OF THE RINGS film. It was a holiday and no one went to school. Everyone of all ages had a good time. This is one of the goals of films with that much everything. I went in thinking that I would have to fight for a seat and ended up sitting next to some really nice people. It was cool.
    FG

  2. Keith in Montana said:
    “Even if you quietly talk to who ever is on the #@$@###)@@##$^^ cell phone while you walk to the lobby… Too late! You have already labled yourself a jerk.”
    You’re saying that people who buy tickets for their friends, and then when said friends don’t show on time, are jerks when they call to see if they got stuck in traffic or are just not coming? Did I see a no-phones sign in the lobby? Sorry, I must not have been looking. 🙂

  3. I am not saying not to use your phone in the lobby. If you are waiting for friends, that is where you should be.
    What I hate is people taking phone calls (verbally saying “Hello, blah blah”) inside where the movie is being showen. And then listening to the chit chat as they head for the lobby to “talk”.
    I went ahead and posted this as a topic under the “Geek Toys” category. So if anyone has more to say on this, that would be a great place to post.
    THanks

  4. AAARRGGHHH!!! Don’t you just HATE movie-talkers? I saw 8 Mile this week and all the “gangsta” wannabe’s were there with their baggy pants and blang blang jewelery…and they were EIGHT YEARS OLD!!! Some of them even had cell phones and pagers on them and insisted on making sure everyone there knew they had them by using them and shouting “SORRY, I CAN’T TALK, I’M WATCHING 8 MILE….” then talking for 2 or 3 more minutes.

  5. I did the same thing with my nephew for the first movie, he skipped school, I was to “sick” to go to work. We had the best day together. We could’nt do that this year, but are going tomorrow, and we both can’t wait. By the way, if you go to a kid’s movie, and a mattinee to boot, you have to expect noise.

  6. You know, sometimes things are not at all what we would expect! Wil and several other readers “sneak” their kids out of school to see Harry Potter, while at my daugher’s school, where most of the parents and the staff are very conservative, *everybody* (staff and students) have known for months which kids were going to be absent the day Harry Potter opened! There was no sneaking– the parents just came and got their kids for the movie.
    I wish *I* could see the movie, but my husband is in Europe right now, and he would be crushed if we saw it without him.

  7. Yeah, it’s kind of a waste of money if people won’t shut up. But there are actually theaters that cater to just that type of experience. Years ago I went to a matinee at a so-called “family theater” in Vancouver, Washington with my friend Rachel. She warned me in advance but I had no idea of what was coming. It was one of those palatial old theaters with a gigantic screen and about 9 million seats. Half the seats were filled with kids and moms, the other half were the empty seats of the kids who were wandering around all over the place. There was a constant flow of traffic up and down the aisles, back and forth in front of the screen, groups of 2-5 kids walking, running, talking, laughing, getting snacks, spilling drinks, returning to mom for more money, chasing after each other… the fact that a movie was playing in the room at all was pretty much superfluous.
    So like they say, after you’ve been in a Turkish prison everything else is easy.

  8. Wil, that was an awesome thing you and Anne did for the boys….and I know if my parents did that for me, it would be one of my all time great moments in life. I just remember being a kid beaming with excitement when I would hear the voice over the intercom asking for me to be excused because my parents were picking me up early…and probably even more giddy when I would do something fun with my parents when release from the confines of education.
    As for the inconsiderate jerks in the movies…I agree with you completely. I just don’t see what pleasure it brings to those who find it fun to disrupt the movie by talking on their phones or even with the damn laser pointers. If people are sadistic enough to do crap like that, why bother paying eight dollars a pop to do? It’s just a big ass pet peeve of mine.

  9. I remember reading in OMNI magazine in about 1982 an excerpt from a sci fi story called something like “Marching Morons.” Average modern guy cryogenically transported to the future. Read it if you want the details, but one scene is in a movie theatre. The “audience” is there for the food, and wolf down snacks and drinks while ignoring the “entertainment.” I don’t think the author had considered cell phones, betcha he wishes he did.
    Also, there was a time when teachers were professionals and kids and especially parents took them seriously. What went wrong? Parents get too smart for their own good? “Question Authority” go a little too far?
    Last, I think I read a news article about cell-phone eating radar that can be installed in a building to block the signals. Perfect for this kind of situation, no? Here’s one: http://www.cell-block-r.com/ There are also radiation-eating materials that can absorb microwave radiation and reduce cell phone effectiveness to 1% of normal.

  10. I went to see this movie today too. There was a baby in the theater as well. It actually made me WANT a baby vrs being upset it was there. Im a weird one.
    Did you stay past the credits? There is a cool little thing at the end.
    this is my first ever comment

  11. Drakensykh posted:
    Last, I think I read a news article about cell-phone eating radar that can be installed in a building to block the signals. Perfect for this kind of situation, no?
    In the U.S. private individuals and businesses (sp?) are not allowed to jam the airwaves. Since the airwaves are “public property”, also it would constitute as a safety hazard.

  14. Price of Gas to the Theater: $1.45.
    Price of 4 Large Cokes: $12.
    Price of 4 Popcorns: $9.
    Price of 4 Matinee Tickets to Harry Potter and the Annoying Audience: $24.
    Teaching your kids the value of education by yanking them out of school to watch a movie: Priceless.
    ——-VERSUS:
    Price of Harry Potter II Movie next year on DVD: $20.
    Value of Education: a portion of your property tax.
    Value of not hearing every other line of dialog repeated for the benefit of the nearly deaf spouse of the woman sitting behind you (which is actually fortunate as you can now hear over the cell phone conversation two rows ahead of you): Priceless.

  15. Hey ya, Wil. I watched Harry Potter last night as well and I’m happy to report that the entire packed theater was quite the whole time. The only part it got loud at was when Dobbie blasted Malfoy’s daddy’s ass. The whole theater erupted in applause and cheering. All I can say is that the theaters where you live need to hire some ushers with balls. They let everyone know straight up to keep their cell phones turned off and to shut the fuck up. I’ve seen them stop a movie before and haul people out of the theater for running their gobs. 🙂

  16. Something really bad:
    People talking during a movie.
    Something worse:
    People in the row in front of you (in a packed theatre) getting up AGAIN AND AGAIN, stretching, walking out and coming back in again and taking AGES to sit down again and they’re so damn rude, you’re better off not confronting them at all.

  17. (1) It must be a California thing, or maybe a big-city thing. Here in NC I’m rarely bothered by people talking in theaters. (OTOH, I rarely spend the money–the last film I went to was the first “Harry Potter” movie.)
    (2) Kudos to you, Wil, for springing such a fun surprise on the boys.
    (3) When you get the chance, do read Rowling’s books. They are an amazing ride.
    Shannon

  20. You’re so right about the cinema, though I love going there for the big-ass screen and just the cool feeling I get when I’m there.
    I haven’t seen any of your work, not even star trek but Comedy theatre sounds really cool and your geekyness pays off, for this is a very clean-looking site, like the layout, good writing, good reccommendations. Keep up the good work. I’ll peek in some more.

  21. Wil,
    READ. THE. BOOKS. Do yourself a huge favor. If you’re just seeing the movies you’ve been robbing yourself. Seriously. READ THE BOOKS.

  22. You see, this is why I have to move to Southern California and attempt to become a screenwriter. ‘Cause the sun “warms your shoulders” in mid-November. I just spent the morning shoveling my driveway and knocking an inch of ice off my car… 🙂

  23. I didn’t take the time to mark down people’s names, but just because you are a teacher and you like having less kids in class doesn’t make it right! God love you for being a teacher, but saying it’s ok for parents to take kids out of class to go see a movie so you can have a more relaxing afternoon is ridiculous!
    Going to Africa, also, is not the same thing. Like I said before, at least it’s interpersonal and educational. At least take them out of school to READ them the book! What if you took them out of school to see Star Wars? Or “Nemesis” for that matter? Is that ok?
    And whoever said it is right, you lied to the school so you could go to a movie! Great afternoon with the kids but the ends don’t justify the means!
    Like leaving Star Trek, Wil, admit it was a mistake and move on.

  25. the first week of release is a bad time to see movies like harry potter, star wars, star trek, and lord of the rings…if you want to be able to hear the dialogue and follow the story go the second week or later…after the most intense fans have already seen it…and chances are you won’t be packed into the theatre like sardines…as for the dipsticks that use the cellphone during the movie…i quote the great william shatner…get a life!

  26. unfortunately these days the best way to see a movie is at home on DVD!…you can eat reasonably priced snacks like microwave popcorn…and you can freeze the movie and pee anytime you want!

  28. 1) When I was in 5th grade my mom and our neighbor’s mom took me, my brother, and the neighbor’s two kids out of school for the afternoon to see Return of the Jedi. It’s one of my fondest memories of childhood. I never skipped a day of school until I was a senior in high school, and I’m sure having a wonderful afternoon with my mom and some of my best friends had nothing to do with that. I think that if you’re a good parent your kids will understand the difference between a little fun for quality time and skipping school without permission to do bad things. Wil, good for you, don’t let the naysayers get ya down. 🙂 I’m sure the kids will remember this day -fondly- for a long time.
    2) I saw the movie at 12:01 friday morning (first showing). Some of the people around us talked a little, but it wasn’t so bad, I even expected it and it didn’t bother me. There wasn’t any cell phone usage that I heard or anything, so overall it was pleasant except that the guy in front of me thought it’d be fun to jam his seat back into my knee every other minute, and no, I wasn’t kicking his chair. :p
    Most of the noise in the theater was cheering, laughing, clapping, the normal things you hear when an audience is NOTHING but excited to see a movie. I think that kind of noise is awesome, makes the movie more fun when the theater is really into it. Only twice was it hard to hear a line of dialogue because of it, but I was laughing too, so I couldn’t complain.
    12:01 showings=good! 🙂

  29. At a viewing of “Shakespeare in Love,” there were two women seated behind me who talked and talked. I tried the polite look, then the dirty look, then I asked them to be quiet. It was ugly, but it worked. They then shouted at me as I exited the theatre – these were grown women. In an incredible feat of stupidity, I walked back up to them and got in their faces, explaining that I’d paid to hear the film, not them. God, I could have been shot! Think I’ll keep working on my home theatre.

  32. Our audience cheered, but none stayed for the bonus scene at the end of the credits! So disappointing, but I suppose you can’t expect too much in Lynchburg, VA.
    On talking in the theater, I noticed some in our theater, but it didn’t bother me precisely because I had read the books. It wasn’t terribly loud, whispers at most, and usually it was just someone mentioning a change from the book. Plus, I have sufficiently selective hearing to block them out when need be :-p
    I’m sorry your theater was loud–I think theaters full of little kids have that going on a lot. Ours was significantly quieter, but then it was monopolized by 30+ college girls, whose biggest contributions were swoons over Alan Rickman and Kenneth Branagh.
    Anyway, I think it would have been impossible for them to cut it down any more than they did and not have fans screaming at them about it. I highly suggest reading the books–they’re wunnerful! Mmmm, Harry Potter 🙂

  33. Our audience cheered, but none stayed for the bonus scene at the end of the credits! So disappointing, but I suppose you can’t expect too much in Lynchburg, VA.
    On talking in the theater, I noticed some in our theater, but it didn’t bother me precisely because I had read the books. It wasn’t terribly loud, whispers at most, and usually it was just someone mentioning a change from the book. Plus, I have sufficiently selective hearing to block them out when need be :-p
    I’m sorry your theater was loud–I think theaters full of little kids have that going on a lot. Ours was significantly quieter, but then it was monopolized by 30+ college girls, whose biggest contributions were swoons over Alan Rickman and Kenneth Branagh.
    Anyway, I think it would have been impossible for them to cut it down any more than they did and not have fans screaming at them about it. I highly suggest reading the books–they’re wunnerful! Mmmm, Harry Potter 🙂

  34. Wow, you and Anne did create quite the memory for them I bet. A nice and happy memory.
    Damn theaters. I usually tell people ever so nicely, to be quiet. People usually don’t want to create a scene in public, however, I have no such qualms about that, especially paying 12 bucks just to get in. Sorry, my own rant.

  35. Wil, it doesn’t matter who’s a step. They may have a different father, but you are so obviously those kids’ *dad*.
    Rock on, man. School work can be made up, and the teachers would probably have understood even if you didn’t use the “personal reasons” excuse. Those kids know you love them, and that you and your wife are *both* their parents. Not every “step”-child can say the same thing.

  36. Way to go! My dad did the same thing on friday. He had given me the day off, but I was planning on going to school in the afternoon, until I noticed that he sent me an email ordering me not to go to school. When he came home we went out to lunch, took my little brother out of school, and proceeded to see Harry Potter. It was much better than AP Chemistry 😀

  37. There is one, and only one, excuse for having your cellphone on in a movie theatre. If you are the surgeon, anesthesist or perfussionist on call at the local university hospital for organ transplants (tragedies can happen at any time, and smart people will try to mitigate the tragedy by offering working organs to save othrs’ lives).
    Other than that, nobody is so important that they have to be called, or can’t have voice mail.

  42. “Not all those who wander are lost”
    I love that quote. I had it at the bottom of my email sig for the longest time. I once saw a bumper sticker that has the phrase meandering from the lower left corner up to the upper right. Made for a real nice effect. 🙂

  44. I took my kids to see Harry Potter today, we loved it. You need to read the books, trust me, you are missing out.

  45. Being annoyed by rude people in a theater and not doing anything about it, but bitch about it later:
    (1) Makes out to be a victim;
    (2) Teaches your kids not to do anything about rude behavior;
    (3) Allows you to righteously bitch and moan about it on your blog;
    (4) Makes you want to stay home instead of going out (perpetuating the “loner” aspect of America).
    On the other hand, if you had done something about it, you’d:
    (1) not be a victim;
    (2) teach your kids not to be a victim;
    (3) allows you to righteously be a good example on your blog.
    (4) makes you want to go out again.

  46. I fucking HATE those rude theatre-goers. When I saw Cast Away there was a guy who talked directly to Tom Hanks throughout the film. All of those quiet parts weren’t so quiet. I asked him to be quiet several times and he completely ignored me.

  47. I can’t believe some of you adults ragging on Wil for taking his kids out of school! Talk about piss me off. Man, when a father does something nice for his kids and actually spends time with them that is valuable, even if it is a movie. My parents never spend anything with me, never. and I hate them with all my soul. I think it is very cool that Wil and his wife took their kids to something special and took them out of school. Like they really missed something. Shit, how many of you actually remember being in a classroom bored shitless because the teacher is teaching to the dumbest kid in class, and you already got the lesson. Man, classroom work is the most boring and senseless thing we do as kids. Take em out more, shit, do like my cousins do and take them out permanently and teach them at home. My cousins are way ahead of their peers because they are finally being homeschooled and can progress as they need. Geez, get off Wil’s case. Some of you people are just like my dad, and I hope you get your just reward for it.
    Think I’m angry? You got it.

  48. “Not all who wander are lost” – I have a bumper sticker with that quote. Good choice for thought of the day. ^_^

  49. Zander? Zoinks!
    And shanna/setf/y’know, in that guys defense, I saw Cast Away and I wish someone would have talked to ME during it to keep me AWAKE!
    What a ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ’er!
    And I’m not ragging on Wil (don’t know about the rest of you), I’m disagreeing with his him. He posts his life on here to be discussed and not everyone will agree with him. I guarantee he never expected people to react like this about it, did ya Wil?

  50. PET PEEVE: people who let their kids beat the shit out of the seats in front of them and think it’s cute. Small children should be left at home and children who can’t be taught even a *little thing like ‘don’t kick that nice person’s chair’ should be in cages.

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