Sadtimes

One of my old spacesuits is being auctioned off on eBay. I’m not sure why, but it makes me feel a little sad.
I’m sitting here, about to write a little entry about it, when my phone rings. It’s a friend of mine, asking me if I’m going to the Star Trek X screening.
“Yeah, on Wednesday,” I tell him.
“No, it’s tonight,” he tells me.
“Tonight? At Paramount?”
“No, it’s in Westwood, tonight,” he tells me, “I just talked with Marina about it.”
Oh no.
That feeling I have gotten so many times before, when I was the only cast member not asked up on stage at the 25th anniversary party, when I was the only cast member not recognized at the screening of “All Good Things…” begins to well up. I feel a little sick.
He wouldn’t do this to me, right? Not now, not after the conversations we had when I was working on the movie, not since the phone call informing me of the cut. This must be a mistake. Past is the past, right? We’re cool now. There is no way he’d exclude me from this.
But he did.
He did it to me again.
I want to cry.
I tell my friend that I have to go, and hang up the phone.
I sit there alone and cold in the kitchen. I can hear Ryan watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch in the living room.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. When Rick told me that my scenes were cut, he assured me that I’d still be invited to the premiere, and that he’d see me there. I was excited to see all my friends again, and share in those moments with them. Be a part of what will really be the final mission.
It turns out that the screening I was invited to will be at Paramount on Wednesday, and pretty much anyone who works at Paramount can attend. It’s not the premiere, and none of the cast are going. There’s really nothing special about it.
I seriously, desperately hope that this was just an oversight. I desperately hope that this is totally out of Rick’s hands, and that he’ll tell me that he’s sorry if it ever comes up. I desperately hope this isn’t personal. I want so badly to believe that it isn’t. It sucks to be overlooked, but it sucks less than if I’d been intentionally not invited.
It sure fits a pattern though, huh?
I just — I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how to feel anymore.
But I’ll go with hurt for now.
Really, really fucking hurt.

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533 thoughts on “Sadtimes”

  1. It’s such a terrible feeling to be left out. You should just look at your family and put it out of your mind. The worst thing is to dwell. Feel Better!

  2. Oh, Wil. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say, other than I think it’s really fucking unfair the way you keep getting treated, over and over again.
    🙁

  3. I’m sorry. I was disappointed to hear that your scenes had been cut. My friends and I always felt that you were an important part of the show.
    I know it doesn’t make up for it, but remember that you have a lot of fans who think that you are not only a talented actor, but someone who is also a cool person.

  4. ouch.
    but think about it, who cares about a movie premier when you will someday be invited to one of my gallery openings! and the exclusive party, too. ooooohhhh. can’t pass that up.

  6. it’s easy for people to tell you ‘screw them all – don’t think about it’… but it’s not that easy is it? it’s really hurtful and cruel of them to treat you the way they do.
    just look at all the comments you get on here every day, and know that there are tons of people who do care. you were my favourite part of the show, by far. so, although it’s too easy… screw them all.

  7. Oh geez…
    Is there any way to impeach Berman?
    Wil, man, that sucks. I was going to say “I feel sorry for you”, but having someone “feel sorry” for you sucks even more. So let’s just say we recognize the suckiness, hope you’re feeling better soon, and know that karma-wise, this is gonna come around in the end.
    Just remember, Wil. He may have Star Trek, he may have beaucoup Paramount bucks, he may even have the ability to screw people, but you’ve got something he doesn’t have, and never ever will.
    Monkeys.
    Puts it all into perspective, don’t it?

  8. I think i’ll sum this up real easy
    Dood, that just sucks.
    It’s that simple.
    But you know what. It is thier loss that they dont get to enjoy your company.
    You atleast get to enjoy your family’s company and the knowledge that your not wesley crusher. Your Wil Wheaton writer/actor. not actor.

  9. That just sucks. I don’t suppose you can just crash the party, huh?
    Pheh. The man isn’t worth the electronic bits I’d use flaming his sorry butt to a crisp.
    Go look out the window on your beautiful green lawn, hug your family, and trust that your fans will flame any dorks who obviously underestimate you.
    We love you, Wil.
    (wanders off, in search of multiple addresses to send honest little holiday greetings to Mr. Berman telling him exactly what I think of him)

  10. Sorry to hear about this Wil. I know how it feels to be left out. Makes ya want to head over to bermans house with some eggs and TP, but that wouldn’t really solve the problem. Might make you feel better, but doesn’t solve the fact that he’s a snake and that you need to look past working on Trek and move on to bigger and better things.

  12. Oh, Wil. I’m so sorry. You are too good of a person to have this continually happen to you! 🙁
    K

  13. That fucker. I’m getting tired of Rick Berman’s shit. I’ve never heard a name more winced at when it comes up at conventions.
    Believe it or not, Wil, we are with you. I can’t get you to Westwood tonight, but i can at least offer solace in our appreciation for who you are and what you do. //fist held high
    Stein Auf!

  17. I’m sorry that this happened to you. Being left out hurts. Period. Go ahead and cry tonight. Tomorrow, put yourself back together and try not to let your anger take over.

  18. I don’t think I would go if I were you. The point was for you to go and be with your friends and the other cast members wasn’t it? They really screwed you. Hopefully it was an oversight. Believe it or not you were always my favorite on TNG. You are my age and you were the smartest one on the ship. I admired that and admire you more now.

  19. dood. that royally sucks arse.
    I bet dollars to donuts that if your friends in the cast knew you weren’t invited, they’d be pissed off too, yo.
    so spike your egg nog tonite, sit by the fireplace (if you have one) and remember that we readers are all here for you.

  20. Dude, that’s harsh… Of course, he could have invited, then neglected to tell anyone else, leaving you stranded with security on the wrong side of the velvet rope… I know it’s not much comfort, but something tells me the audition earlier might turn out better than you thought…

  21. I would like to say something heartwarming and
    supportive but the best I can do is…………
    (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))
    This is for you Wil.
    ColleenS

  22. Late last week, I am grocery shopping for my grandmother; Grandmary a pure Trekkie, through and through. I see the Special Edition TV Guide with Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner on the cover. I buy it for her, because I know she’ll want to keep it and add it to her other TV Guides with Trek on the cover. And miscellaneous other trek things I got her.
    Cut too… My Mother comes over… She’s looking at the Tv Guide, she flips right to the article and then she looks up and looks directly at me. “Is Wil in it? Wheaton?”
    “No. He was cut out.”
    “WHAT!” Totally appalled. Totally mad. “Well what the….”
    I try to console her. “He’ll be in the DVD Special Edition I am sure…”
    She grumbles more.
    Grandmary adds in her two cents. “I wasn’t happy to hear about that either. Now do we need something special to play the DVD.”
    Bizarre conversation trying to explain DVDs to my grandmother — all because we have to see Wesley Crusher!!!!
    Frankly, if some PTB idiot wants to screw you over and be a moron, and not GET what Wesley and you are to the the History and COlor of Star Trek it means nothing. Because everyone else who isn’t making the stupid decisions would have you there in a heartbeat and personally I think we are more important.
    Rachel (whose mother also admitted to not being in love with Patrick Stewart and totally shocked her. She liked everyone else better, so there you go. My Mom loves you more than Patrick Stewart. LOL)

  23. No way Wil, just no way. There’s no way that he could have done this to you.
    …
    And as I think that over in my head, I know it’s not true. But from what happened before, it seems so unlikely that he intentionally left you out. I guess all we can do is wait and see. I hope it’s not as bad as it looks, because you sure as hell don’t deserve it.

  24. Yeah If I were you Wil I would CRASH IT AND ATTEND ANYWAY! I mean call up some other Cast members what are they going to do turn you down at the door?
    Crash It Crash IT Crash It Crash IT Crash It Crash IT

  25. Fuck them and the starship they blasted into space with!!!!
    YOU HAD AN AUDITION WITH ROBERT ZEMECKIS AND TOM HANKS TODAY!!!
    I say you buy that damn spacesuit and burn it.

  27. Wil-
    thanks for the times of your life that you share on this site. I’m a struggling writer. Even though you are younger than me I look up to you; you inspire me. Screw Rick Effing Berman and his pea sized……oh, brain. Sue

  28. Wil,
    It hurts, and it hurts bad. Just know this: neither what they did, nor your hurt, have nothing to do with you, now. Hurts this big come from the past (want a journal topic? when was the first time you felt a hurt like this?). Actions of other people have nothing whatsoever to do with who you are – it has to do with who *they* are.
    You are such a talented writer, and it really pains me to think of you wasting emotional energy feeling left out of something as relatively small and fleeting as TNG. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fan and all that (every night on TNN) – but it is such a small thing compared to the world at large.
    You can make a big impact, and have nothing to do with that crowd. You’re missing the future when you look back at the past.

  29. I wish I knew some magic words for you. There are none. But I will give you the words my mother gave to me (as an adult) when facing a similar situation…”Fuck ’em!”

  32. That just totally sucks.
    I hate people that say “yeah, I’m going to do this, I’m going to invite you here, you’ll be included” yada, yada, and then they pull shit like this.
    If I were you, I would make something of this… show the world what an ass Rick really is. I don’t think I am even going to go see the movie now!

  33. 8-(
    I kept reading and hoping it was a bad joke on your friend’s part. I don’t think you should crash the party: I’m positive the rest of the cast will give him HELL for not inviting you.

  35. Wil,
    I just can’t believe they keep pulling this f*cking bullshit. It really pisses me off. I was always a loyal Star Trek fan and you’d think that what we (the fans) consider important would count for something. Apparently it doesn’t. I don’t know why I am surprised being a confirmed cynic and all, but it still really pisses me off. I am swearing off Star Trek altogether in protest for the shitty way they have treated you. Screw Them!
    ~fenaray

  36. Wil, I’m as shocked and dismayed as you are. You have every right to be upset at Berman’s crass, boorish behavior, and if your fellow cast members have any class to speak of in their character, they should be as well! I hope they gang up on Berman and give him the chewing out and telling off of his life!
    In the meantime, here’s a poem I read somewhere which I hope will help you, especially after your problems with the audition today. The author is unknown, and there are several versions floating around. I’ve taken the liberty of combining them into one which I hope contains the best parts of all of them. It goes like this:
    DON’T QUIT (AUTHOR UNKNOWN)
    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
    When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
    When the funds are low and the debts are high,
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
    When cares are pressing you down a bit,
    Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
    Life can be strange, with its twists and turns,
    As sooner or later each of us learns,
    And many a failure turns about
    When he might have won had he stuck it out.
    Don’t give up, though the going seems slow,
    You may succeed with just one more blow.
    Often, the goal is nearer than
    It seems to a faint and faltering man,
    Often the loser has given up
    When he might have won the victor’s cup,
    And he learns too late, as the night slips down,
    How close he was to that golden crown.
    Success is failure turned inside out,
    The silver tint in the cloud of doubt,
    And you never can tell how close you are;
    You may be near when it seems so far.
    So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
    IT’S WHEN THINGS LOOK WORST
    THAT YOU MUST–*NOT*–QUIT!!!
    Sincerely,
    Tom Nichol

  37. Let’s face it. With Two Towers, Gangs of New York, Adaptation, Catch Me if You Can and all the other great flix coming out — who cares about the new Trek? Honestly. Wil, it’s part of your past and it’s part of pop culture’s past. Now… if you could score a role in the new Matrix sequels…

  38. Wil, to hell with Berman. If it was an oversight, these things happen, but if it wasn’t, he’s not worth the sadness. Just think about the friendship with your TNG castmates, and how great it’s been seeing them the last few months.
    Think about that wonderful feeling you had, when you realized that Patrick, Brent, and everyone else thought way more of you than you dared dream.
    What’s one pathetic little man compared to that? Focus and perspective, my friend…focus and perspective.

  42. Remember when you wrote up the Anniversary convention how Brent Spiner told you to call him if you ever needed anything? Call him. Ask him if you can get everyone together to go to the thing on Wednesday. Make it as fun as the premiere. Circumvent Rick fucking Berman and his self-important attitude. You worked with the cast. They are your friends. Talk to them, get them to do the Paramount showing. If I were any one of them, I would refuse to go to the official premiere.
    Remember the other day when you posted Bob’s message about his daughter? Remember saying we can make a difference? WE CAN and YOU can.
    I agree with Jeff and Rachel and her family. You were *always* my favorite and Star Trek would not be the same without you. Call Brent. Tell him whether or not you’ve been shafted, you want to see your friends and you want to be a part of this project you all worked so hard to make–because everyone who was in the series *made* star trek x, from Patrick Stewart down to Ensign Number 8. That certainly includes you, and you deserve recognition. Berman should realize that the more he screws you over, the more he alienates his fans.
    A second thought: start a boycott. As much as it pains me to think of missing a Star Trek movie, solidarity is more important. What Berman’s doing is wrong and he shouldn’t get away with it and profit off of it. Boycott. Period. If Berman doesn’t come clean with you about what he’s been doing (and cop-out invites don’t count), I will be the first to boycott Star Trek.
    Solidarity, Wil. You have our support–your fans love you–and we will not let paramount get away with this–because if they’re doing it to someone as well known as you, who knows what they’re doing to ensign nomber 8?
    Once more, with feeling:
    Solidarity!
    -Clara

  43. Feel bad.
    Feel as bad as you could possibly feel, but do it right!
    Get in the bed with a pint of Rocky Road Ice Cream, prop yourself up with pillows and pull the covers up around you. (This also works well for heartache and PMS.)
    Announce to the world, God and your second cousin that Berman belongs to the lesser known version of Dante’s 10th ring of Hell. The one were they put insurance companies and used car salesmen.
    Allow and ENCOURAGE people’s version of ‘What A Prick’ he is. Let close friends and family members verbally describe ways and means of their personal favorite dismemberment of him. Have Anne tell you that if he ever tries to screw you over again, she will strap on an appendage, beat him down in a darkened alley and return the favor.
    And when the love and total support from them and the fans on this board is radiating through your body, get up out of the bed, put away the ice cream, and remember this…
    YOU ARE A FUCKING GREAT ACTOR!!!
    And writer, and activist, and…
    No, no, it’ll only go to your head. 🙂
    But not only that, you have grown and matured into a wonderful man.
    Which is more than what some can say. (Berman)
    After your done feeling bad, feel the love.
    Deb

  44. man oh man…..
    what a kick in the face…
    It’s tough because in the “grand scheme” of things, it doesn’t matter, but we all know that deep down inside, in that corner of yourself that wasn’t invited to the cool kids party, you feel like shit.
    Although it doesn’t need to be said, you are better than this. there are actors out there that treat their people like shit, that demand and strut and pose. And then there are people like you Wil, who remind me that there is STILL humanity and humility in this world. I, as a fan, feel privileged to have been a part of this whole “saga”. The fact that you pour you heart out in these entries, not just to let it out, but because you know we care, is amazing.
    everyone else is right.
    give Anne a hug.
    play some video games with the boys.
    look at the brand new lawn.
    delight in the fact that there are people who care, people who hurt right along with you.
    peace, brother.

  45. Oh, I’m so sorry. I know the feeling, I’ve been left out of so many things in my life that by now.. I’m just numb to it. *kicks Rick Berman in the arse* That Ricky needs to smarten up!

  46. Man. That sucks so much ass it boggles the mind.
    But it doesn’t surprise me.
    As a long-time (and now former) ST fan, I’ve seen over and over how nasty the ST execs can be now that Gene isn’t in charge, how often and thoroughly they lie, and how self-centered and profit-motivated they are. They apparently don’t give a rat’s ass about anything that matters, not the fans, not the actors, not the message they send with the show. Nothing– except MONEY.
    You need to realize Berman will probably try pouring syrupy lies in your ear again at some point, especially if enough fans bitch him out that he thinks he’s endangered his own interests. But you have to remember that the things he says ARE lies. He’s very skillful at shoveling shit, apparently.
    For the sake of your own sanity, you need to remember that it’s all crap. Be nice and be polite if you’re reluctant to burn your bridges– but remember, he can’t see anything but the dollar bills in his eyes, and everything he says is lip service to whatever he thinks is best for his wallet.
    You’ve got to remember the old saying: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
    I’m sorry. You deserve better.
    *hug*
    –Lil

  47. Here’s a little wisdom from Stompin’ Tom Conners before I go
    “Oh the girls are out to bingo
    and the boys are getting STINKO
    We’ll think no more of Bermano
    On a Hollywood Premiere Night
    The glasses they will tinkle
    When our eyes begin to twinkle
    We’ll think no more of Bermano
    On a Hollywood Premiere Night.”

  49. I can’t really understand how people could treat you so poorly. You were the reason I got hooked on Star Trek reruns last year when TNG was one of the few shows I could get through the antenna at college. At the beginning of every episode I eagerly scan the opening credits, and I’m always disappointed if your name doesn’t show up. And this all happened before I even discovered what a great, multitalented person you are from reading your web site. This guy needs to show you a lot more respect.

  50. Yet another reason for me to loathe Rick Berman. As if Enterprise wasn’t enough.
    I’m sorry Wil. He’s a bastard, a fucking bastard. He doesn’t care about you or the fans.

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