Sadtimes

One of my old spacesuits is being auctioned off on eBay. I’m not sure why, but it makes me feel a little sad.
I’m sitting here, about to write a little entry about it, when my phone rings. It’s a friend of mine, asking me if I’m going to the Star Trek X screening.
“Yeah, on Wednesday,” I tell him.
“No, it’s tonight,” he tells me.
“Tonight? At Paramount?”
“No, it’s in Westwood, tonight,” he tells me, “I just talked with Marina about it.”
Oh no.
That feeling I have gotten so many times before, when I was the only cast member not asked up on stage at the 25th anniversary party, when I was the only cast member not recognized at the screening of “All Good Things…” begins to well up. I feel a little sick.
He wouldn’t do this to me, right? Not now, not after the conversations we had when I was working on the movie, not since the phone call informing me of the cut. This must be a mistake. Past is the past, right? We’re cool now. There is no way he’d exclude me from this.
But he did.
He did it to me again.
I want to cry.
I tell my friend that I have to go, and hang up the phone.
I sit there alone and cold in the kitchen. I can hear Ryan watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch in the living room.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. When Rick told me that my scenes were cut, he assured me that I’d still be invited to the premiere, and that he’d see me there. I was excited to see all my friends again, and share in those moments with them. Be a part of what will really be the final mission.
It turns out that the screening I was invited to will be at Paramount on Wednesday, and pretty much anyone who works at Paramount can attend. It’s not the premiere, and none of the cast are going. There’s really nothing special about it.
I seriously, desperately hope that this was just an oversight. I desperately hope that this is totally out of Rick’s hands, and that he’ll tell me that he’s sorry if it ever comes up. I desperately hope this isn’t personal. I want so badly to believe that it isn’t. It sucks to be overlooked, but it sucks less than if I’d been intentionally not invited.
It sure fits a pattern though, huh?
I just — I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how to feel anymore.
But I’ll go with hurt for now.
Really, really fucking hurt.

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533 thoughts on “Sadtimes”

  1. I am so sorry Wil. As I type this, all the mojo I can muster is en route to you.
    And I weep for Star Trek too. Over the years I have seen the quality of the shows dwindle into nothing. And it pains me because I really loved Star Trek (past tense intended).
    Berman is the true nemesis of Star Trek. He is the antithesis of Gene Roddenberry and a disgrace to all the good things Star Trek originally stood for. I guess all good things really must come to and end, hmmm?
    I will do as someone suggested earlier. I will download the movie and watch it at home and nowhere else. The Star Trek franchise will not receive a single cent from me ever again. At least not as long as Rick Berman is involved.
    Hail to you Wil for being such a wonderful, sensitive and REAL person.

  2. This sucks so badly Wil, I can’t believe that they would do this to you again. I hate it when I get the feeling you’re having right now. Rick should be ashamed of himself for this one! Truly ashamed.

  3. If I didn’t know better I would almost swear that Mr. Berman was doing his best to alienate as many people from the franchise as possible doing what ever it takes to chip away from that which was Star Trek. It’s truly sad that what is billed as the last mission for a generation can’t include everyone who was there when the first mission started. In all his efforts to build his franchise, he forgot one very important thing. People count. I was actually excited that you were supposed to be in the movie, even though at first I didn’t care for your charicter at first, but then there was some growth and you became one of my favorites. Now you won’t be there and even if it was nothing more than 10 seconds on film, it would have meant a lot to many people, on both sides of the Wesley fence. I’m sorry for what has happened again and again and I really hope that Mr. B either finally figures it out or has it “explained” to him somehow so that we little guys don’t have to keep watching him build (tear apart) the franchise.
    Again I’m sorry Wil.

  5. Babes
    I am so sorry. It sucks when people walk over you like that, make you feel as though they are your friend and then when it matters they completly shit over you. It sucks and it Bad and Wrong.
    All I can do is give you lots of positive vibes and a BIG HUGE HUGS.
    Don’t let them get you down, they ain’t worth it, you have a wonderful wife, two gourgous kids who all love you, who needs Rick Berman… You don’t.
    Spike
    1.26 GMT

  6. I really can’t think of anything to say right now… I mean, wow, that’s just not fair. Not fair at all.

  8. Wil,
    This really sounds very much like an oversight. Given that you were actually meant to be in the film, and you ACTED in it, Berman must have intended to invite you to the premiere. Especially since he emphasised you would “still” come to the premiere – he can’t have meant you were still coming to a *different* premiere, could he?
    Check it out – there must have been something lost in communication, and it strikes me he must be a very busy man, especially at the moment. He would ask for a ticket to be sent to you (or whatever), and wouldn’t think anything more of it. He probably wouldn’t then check that Wil Wheaton was invited to the right premiere!
    But, the thing is, you ARE a member of the cast, you ARE a member of Star Trek, and there are 70-80-odd episodes to prove it (and Star Trek Nemesis to boot!) Whoever the oversight was by, an oversight it *was*. Because you do genuinely belong there.
    Looking at it more cosmically, this has happened for a reason. This seems like a hard lesson, but it’s almost certainly very valuable too. Maybe sometimes life isn’t there to justify and honoUr your legitimacy, but to improve you. I think this experience can improve you if you are thankful for it. Your personal trek should be (and is) forwards, through accepting life’s lessons and improving as a consequence – not backwards by gratification and retrospection. Your trial has maybe brought you the better part, and is moving you boldly forward. Look at it as an adventure?

  9. Wil,
    Forget Berman. He sounds like a Class ‘A’ asshole. When you talk to him next, for whatever reason, make it a point to bring this up, don’t let him walk over you man. Despite what anyone might say about you and your impact on Star Trek, you have made a life for yourself that you should be proud of. You’ve got this site and the power of your readers behind you, you’ve got a family, you’ve got your health and you’ve got your friends. What else do you need? Sure it would’ve been nice to be included with the whole cast for the premiere of Nemesis, but there’ll be other premiers. Ones where you’re the star and can invite Patrick Stewart, John Frakes and the whole gang to the premiere/party of YOUR movie. Don’t doubt that day will come. It will if you want it to. Well, i don’t even know if you’ll read this since it’s down over 200 in the list, but I hope you do and that you take this for what it’s worth. Take it from someone who’s been on the short end of the stick a fair amount – one day you’ll be the one holding the stick, and that day is on the way.
    Ryan_W

  11. I hope you / you should have went anyway. No one likes to feel left out of a group that once seemed so warm and comforting, and I’m sure the cast (the people who generate that feeling, not Mr. Beermom) would be enraged to know you’d been excluded, even if it was an “oversight.” But aside from swallowing a little tension if you’d decided to “crash” the premiere, showing up once you knew about it would have two possible outcomes: You are welcomed openly by everyone, including those people you fear didn’t want you there but may be genuinely unaware of the mistake. Or you are welcomed openly by everyone you really care about and the other people who decided to snub you wouldn’t dare throw you out in full view of the cast and public, so they are left to stew in their own greasy self-absorbing juices.
    Just my 2cp. Looking forward to seeing you on the DVD. 🙂
    ojo

  12. Geez, Wil, that sucks. I’m so sorry.
    Maybe it will cheer you up to know that my husband and i were watching ARENA last night, and laughing VERY, VERY hard. You are one funny mofo. (Our favorite joke of the evening, “That defense is about as effective as the rhythym method.”
    I hope you feel a bit better soon.

  13. I am starting to thing that fucking Rick Berman is
    afraid of you!!!!
    YOU HAVE US MONKEYS..MORE THAN 5000 STRONG!!!
    WHAT DOES HE HAVE?
    BOYCOTT!!!

  14. Just call him and ask him about it. If he has the guts to tell you that he doesn’t want you at the premiere, tell him ok and bye bye.
    Really, you don’t need him at all. As many people have written above, you have got a posse! =)

  15. Err, forgot to add: If you feel bad, or get upset, he’s got what he wants. If you stay calm and polite, he hasn’t gotten it. And word will spread, anyway. The other cast members will wonder why you weren’t there I guess.

  16. Do you have Berman’s home address, phone number, and/or email address? Post them, dude!
    I think everyone here should be allowed to tell that assfuck what we think of him.

  19. I have it from reliable sources that Rick Berman is responsible for the hole in the Ozone layer, pop muzak and Michael Jackson’s face.

  21. Don’t even worry about it. The important thing is that your castmates think you’re great, we think you’re great and your family think you’re great! Reread that post you made about you & your wife in the rain – that’ll cheer you up. Oh, and if it doesn’t then just repeat this useful phrase (preferably while looking at a photo of Rick Berman)…
    “I hope all your children have very small dicks, including the girls…”

  22. Wil,
    Sorry to hear that your arm and back hurt. Take care of yourself. Remember, if you don’t have your health, you haven’t got anything. All the rest of that stuff doesn’t really matter.
    P.S. I look forward to seeing in “Polar Express”
    😉

  23. All I know is I would never let them see that it hurts.
    The show and movies suck anyway, I wouldn’t go to one of their movies if someone paid me.
    All the movies suck and so does the other spinoffs.
    I think I’ll stick with Sliders.
    Just remember whatever they do to you comes back three times worse.
    I really missed you when you were on the show and it just got really stupid after that.
    so cheer up, you’re much better than those losers, even if you consider them “friends” friends don’t do that to friends period.
    I’ll always be a fan of yours forever.
    sharon “nanny”

  24. I was so excited for you that you got the audition yesterday. And then reading that you got shafted…again makes me so mad.
    Wil, we all love you. Really we do.
    Melissa
    p.s. mojo, mojo, mojo

  25. Wil,
    Okay, this officially sucks. But, you are going to live through this. Ask yourself “What would Patrick do?” (WWPD) He’s a class act and has probably had stuff like this happen to him, too.
    Next, face what everyone else has told you here — that you are totally blessed with so many good things in your life. They outweigh the actions of a man whose word by now should officially be worth nothing to you. He’s proven by his actions that you and he are not “friends” and next time he wants to talk to you, he can contact you through your agent — that’s what agents are for, right?
    But you have better things to do than mope about this. Don’t get me wrong — when I read your entry today I quailed inside because shit like that happens even to the best of us. It doesn’t reflect on YOU unless you let it. It reflects on Mr. Berman. But, you have many more things that he does not — and the sooner you recognize that fact, the better. He has an ailing franchise that is losing viewers (I, for one, won’t be seeing the movie — and now his actions have given me one more reason not to see it.) He has proven that he can be manipulated by audience feedback and the groveling of his yes-people.
    You, at least, have shown that you do think for yourself — and while you have a lot of us out there who count you among our online friends and acquaintances — you also have your own inner sense of self and worth. Build on that, man.
    Finally, whatever Berman does to you is NOT your fault. So don’t beat yourself up. Yes, be upset, acknowledge your feelings as you have done — and then move on.
    Maybe I’ve spoken a bit too harshly here, but Wil — I am also sending good, mature woman mojo to you… you’re worth it!
    Oh, and another finally: I just read your update to yesterday’s entry and really quailed with you when I saw your notes about the audition. Can you ask for a re-audition and explain that you were not in good shape physically? Or is this one of those Hollywood macho things that “if he acts through his pain, then he’s good to go”? they must have seen you somewhere — hell, maybe Tom or Mr. Z read your blog, eh?
    Okay, today’s a new day. Go out there and BE Wil Wheaton the MAN, and let Berman and his silly antics fall behind you.

  27. now THAT was a lot of love wil…..
    if you’ve had a chance to read over the last 200+ posts, and i figure, since it’s your site, you probably have…
    you should be feeling pretty damn good about yourself right about now…
    a list was started a few posts ago…I’ll add a few things now…
    8) you’ve become an author with a fairly huge built in audience, and a virtual stage from which to promote…..something most writers would KILL for..any book you put out will have an audience…that’s pretty damn cool….
    9) writer/actor/host of arena/ comedy/drama/…..man….tha’s a truckload of talent you got there laddy…
    something else that you can not only be proud of, but take to the frickin bank…
    plenty of other folks out there in hollywood, y’know….hell…some you probably know quite well dont have the talents you have…or the website…or the fan-base….remember 90210?…yeah…i hardly do either..what happened to all those folks?…are THEY getting callbacks?…have THEY got a HUGE online following?…have THEY got a book coming out?
    no..
    they dont…
    kinda shows how far up the ladder you are…
    if you take the time to think about it…
    success isn’t measured by the premieres you go to….
    or the pary invitations…
    success is measured by more important things…
    like how much your kids love you…and your wife….
    and how much joy you bring to those that follow your career…where ever it takes you…

  30. As sad as this is, I’m wondering how much more it would have hurt if you had gone to the Wednesday screening expecting to be part of something bigger, and how you would be in a totally different place and state of mind today if your friend had happened to call you a couple days earlier, or if he hadn’t called at all. Life is so strange sometimes: How do we get from where we were yesterday to where we are today, here, now? A chance phone call, a misplaced invitation, an unexpected encounter with a patch of poison oak, and suddenly your whole path into the future changes. This may not help at all with what you might be feeling right now, but thanks for sharing your ups and downs with us; hearing about what’s going on in someone’s heart day to day is a whole lot more interesting and instructive than most of the stuff that gets put on film these days, and if it’s any consolation, you’re helping to take us there. Thanks, and best of everything to you.

  31. Wil, you’ve got more brains, talent, and charisma in your little pinkey than Rick Berman could ever hope to have. Don’t let it get you down. You’ll come out on top in the long run.

  32. This Berman guy is a fucking prick. Whether it’s deliberate or an “oversight,” he’s treating you (repeatedly) like shit. This makes me really angry.
    Well, don’t take it personally. You can be sure that this guy treats everyone this way, unless he has something to gain from acting differently. He is quite obviously a self-centered asshole.
    …not that I have any feelings about it or anything. 😉
    I don’t know what the impact on your career would be, but you should call him on it in some way. Tell him he hurt your feelings and mistreated you, and don’t let him give you some bullshit answer.

  33. That makes it hard to think that the amount of times you have been worked over is purely by accident.
    It sucks.. it sucks rocks, and I am sorry.
    Berman doesn’t understand the power of this community.

  34. Man I feel so bad for you you have no idea. I grew up watching you on television. You will always be one of the special memories of my life. It is so refreshing to see that you are a down to earth normal person and not a typical stuck up celebrity. Wesley may have sucked… but you are really cool. You’re too good for Hollywood dude. If you don’t do drugs or act like an ass you can’t succeed in that town. I know how it feels to get overlooked man. Keep your chin up… there are a lot more people that care about you than you know. You don’t need those assholes anyway.

  35. Wil:
    This sucks BIG TIME! I have to say that I have also been “displeased” with the way you have been treated by the powers that be at Paramount–and that includes Rick Berman et al. I was never happy with what they did to your character after you left regular series work. The producers could have come up with much better ideas and used you more in the series. Similarly, by all rights you should have been included in ALL the TNG movies. For every movie that came out I would read all the mags to see if you were mentioned in anyway but of course you weren’t. You have been screwed royally and it is completely unfair. I suggest that when everyone goes to see Nemesis, they should wear a t-shirt that says “Where’s Wil?” This could be a national campaign. It could also include a big pic of Ensign Crusher looking all spiffy in his uniform. Maybe if and when a Star Trek 11 comes to fruition, there will be a big chunk of script for Wil to do!!!
    Go, Wil!!! Go, Wesley!!!

  36. Wil:
    This sucks BIG TIME! I have to say that I have also been “displeased” with the way you have been treated by the powers that be at Paramount–and that includes Rick Berman et al. I was never happy with what they did to your character after you left regular series work. The producers could have come up with much better ideas and used you more in the series. Similarly, by all rights you should have been included in ALL the TNG movies. For every movie that came out I would read all the mags to see if you were mentioned in anyway but of course you weren’t. You have been screwed royally and it is completely unfair. I suggest that when everyone goes to see Nemesis, they should wear a t-shirt that says “Where’s Wil?” This could be a national campaign. It could also include a big pic of Ensign Crusher looking all spiffy in his uniform. Maybe if and when a Star Trek 11 comes to fruition, there will be a big chunk of script for Wil to do!!!
    Go, Wil!!! Go, Wesley!!!

  37. Wil:
    This sucks BIG TIME! I have to say that I have also been “displeased” with the way you have been treated by the powers that be at Paramount–and that includes Rick Berman et al. I was never happy with what they did to your character after you left regular series work. The producers could have come up with much better ideas and used you more in the series. Similarly, by all rights you should have been included in ALL the TNG movies. For every movie that came out I would read all the mags to see if you were mentioned in anyway but of course you weren’t. You have been screwed royally and it is completely unfair. I suggest that when everyone goes to see Nemesis, they should wear a t-shirt that says “Where’s Wil?” This could be a national campaign. It could also include a big pic of Ensign Crusher looking all spiffy in his uniform. Maybe if and when a Star Trek 11 comes to fruition, there will be a big chunk of script for Wil to do!!!
    Go, Wil!!! Go, Wesley!!!

  38. Wil,
    I read this last night and have been trying to think of a way to tell you how sorry I am and how dissapointed I am in Berman. The latter is not a new feeling. I don’t think there is anything I could say that hasn’t already been said by an overwheling amount of your posse.
    I have been watching TNG since I was 6yrs. old. You are just as much a part of the universe as Data, Picard, ect. Your character meant so much to so many people, even if it was to unify in hate against you (sorry, i am a reformed wesley hater). You are so much more than that, though. Berman never will be. No one, no one, NO ONE likes Berman for who he is as a person. And he certainly doesn’t even come close to you in regards to talent, strength of character, integrity, and wit.
    I am a newcomer to the site, but I know without hesitation that you are reaping the rewards of your talent and persistance.
    Count your blessings.
    Your posse loves you.

  40. Wil,
    You get so many replies, I don’t know if this one will reach you. So many have already said what I feel, “keep your head high” and “I’m sorry” that saying those from myself to you would be redundant. However, perhaps I can offer you this:
    At various points in my life, I have been left out. As a child I would be told by my parents that when I was an adult, things would be better. I wouldn’t have the problem of people whom I thought were my friends pointedly NOT inviting me to birthday parties, baseball games or simple sleep-overs. Still, that wasn’t true. As an adult, it did happen again, whether out of pettiness, oversight or mere bad timing, such occurances still seem to grow and overwhelm me when they happen.
    But I draw strength from what I do have. I’m single and live in a rented room, but I have really good friends who are like a family to me. When I sit down to work on a role-playing game, I can feel that spark of engagement that comes with creating something new and exciting. When I cook, I smile to myself, knowing that I’ve explored this hobby as an art form and can do things with cusine that many, many folk can’t do and would be happy to experience.
    It doesn’t make the hurt go away; that’s for sure. And every time it happens, it feels like a part of me is aching and empty. But it does help me through those times. Those happy relationships and ideals are the planks in a bridge that spans the gap caused by being left out and ignored.
    You have a wife, children, great computer skills (you PHP God, you), talent in both acting and improv comedy, and a history with some truly great friends and collegues. None of that will really fill that gap right now, but I hope that they’ll provide a bridge for you to make it to a resolution.
    Take care,
    Dave Rust
    Minneapolis, Minnesota

  41. That hurts. I’ve been ditched before, and even though it looks like conspiracy, it’s usually because of one asshat’s cruel whim. If it’s unintentional, it’s still a helluva disappointment. I sympathize.

  42. Not that you need another person jumping up and shouting “those assholes!” but I also wanted to say that what they did to you stinks, and I hope one of the other cast members says something about it. I mean, wow, what assholes. But hey, i’m a diehard next gen fan and i refuse to go see that movie. i refuse to take part in anything having to do with that movie. or anything else star trek for a very long time. solidarity and all 🙂

  44. One of the most terrible things that can happen to a person, I think, is that he gets so caught up in a job or in some artificial goal that he forgets what is real and what matters, and what doesn’t. That’s when Star Trek becomes more important than the people who made it. That’s when Wil Wheaton ceases to be a person with feelings and a soul, and is simply a source of profits, a cost-benefit calculation. (This, at least, is what the situation seems like to me.)
    Perhaps you can take comfort in the knowledge that you will never do that to others – you will never forget that the people you deal with are *people*. You know what’s important.

  45. 1) I would go and watch the look on his face. That alone would be worth it. 2) Remember, WE, your fans never forget you. 3) Someday he will be out of a job, nothing to do, read WIL WHeATON DOT NET and realize that some people have fans long after Star Trek….and he is not one of them.

  46. Wil,
    I don’t have the words to adequately describe the disgust and loathing that Mr. Berman has created in me through actions just like this. He made a promise to you. Whether it was a mistake or intentional, he failed to keep that promise. He’s treated you wrongly, just as he’s treated the franchise wrongly in many ways.
    But …
    He’s not worth crying over. I really liked the suggestion of calling the rest of the cast and making your own premiere happen. And DON’T invite Berman. Have fun with your friends, ignore your enemies. It really ticks them off. 😉

  47. Jesus man, I’m so sorry.=( That sucks, I really hope it was just a mistake. I hope this doesn’t get you too down, just remember you’ve got a ton of fans here and all over and from what I understand, most of the cast of TNG loves you too, so if Rick B. told you the wrong day on purpose, to hell with him. Sending cheer-up mojo to Wil!=o) ((BIG HUG!!))
    Ashley

  48. Wil,
    That was wrong, simply wrong. After all the contributions you’ve made to the series/fans, there is absolutely no reason for you to have been excluded from this event. My heart goes out to you.
    Lorien

  49. I wish I was in LA. If I was, I’d be organizing a FREE WIL WHEATON protest at this premier.
    Wil Wheaton has a posse, and wherever Rick Berman goes, we will be.
    MOjo!

  50. Wil – tough break, man.. Berman really seems like his assholisness has been growing with every passing year.
    MMMMMMOOOOOOOJJJJJJJOOOOOO!

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