Kingdom of Rain

Posted on By Wil

It’s fun to watch someone go through a major crisis, even if it’s self-inflicted. Puts things into perspective.
Some thoughts I had last night while listening to the rain bounce off my roof:
Ii have spent each day the past few weeks just inches from tears.
it’s a lot of things: fear and uncertainty about the quality of my book being the biggest, having the sit there and take it while some Rich Fucking Asshole treated me like I was a little kid, stupid computer problems, anne’s ex-husband bullshit, and finally the blog trolls (who I really should have just called assholes, because that’s what they are) and emailers.
Alone, I can deal with any of those things, but together . . . well, it’s just too much to deal with.
But the uncertainty about this book is killing me. I thought I had something really good, and shared it with a few people. Most of them told me it was really good, and gave some constructive feedback. A few of them absolutely ripped it to shreds, and gave me some constructive feedback. The result? I found myself unsure about everything. Unable to trust my instincts. I rewrote major parts to please others, instead of myself, and it left me paralyzed. I’ve since decided to just let it go. I’ll finish some grammatical and spelling corrections, complete a few tiny changes where I want to add more information, and publish the damn thing.
I’m scared. I’m scared that it’s not as good as I thought. I’m scared that it’s better than I thought.
My mom told me that I was in the middle of “vast uncharted territory” and that it was okay to be afraid. I’m not so sure.
I shouldn’t have posted my “I’m leaving, here’s why, okay now I’m back but I’m really leaving and I hate you” post. What I should have said is, “I’m overwhelmed with several things in my life, and writing for WWDN isn’t bringing me any joy right now. As a matter of fact, it’s sort of a chore, so I’m taking some time off.” What I posted gives way too much power and importance to a very small group of people who I should really just feel sorry for.
But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel just a tiny bit better to hear from people who actually SUPPORT me for a change. And Ben sent me a nice cartoon.
Note to self: don’t post when emotional.
And you know what else? I am profoundly upset about war, dreams of war, and the Bush Junta. Patriot II? How the fuck did this happen? How did we, as a culture, sit back and put these people in charge?
And these “Terror alerts?” Does anyone believe them? Did you guys read about the “suspected terrorist” in SF Bay? Some tug boat captain suggests that he saw someone in an unlit Zodiac raft at 3AM, wearing a wetsuit. That’s it.
The CG looked everywhere for this boat and its alleged terrorist, and found NOTHING.
But it’s all over the news, because WE ARE ON ALERT!!1!!11!
What happened to critical thinking? Are the American people so soporific that they can’t see this bullshit for what it is?
And now we’re supposed to believe that Osama Bin Laden is JOINING FORCES WITH SADDAM?
What?!
The timing on this is all too pat for me, and I wonder where the fuck the critical voices are who should be questioning this stuff. Where are the other voices in this vast wilderness? Isn’t anyone willing to speak up?
We are marching directly into a war, though there is massive public resistance to it.
We are marching directly into a war, and the media, the supposed 4th estate, isn’t doing ANYTHING to keep people informed — they’re just propagandizing for the Bush Junta.
We are marching directly into a war, though the rest of the world wishes we’d just mind our ouw stinking business.
And nobody seems to care. And I’m “anti-American” because I feel this way.
I was picking up some tools at OSH about an hour ago, and helped an older woman take some plastic boxes down from a tall shelf. When I put them in her cart for her, she moved a bunch of duct tape and plastic sheeting out of the way. She told me how scared she was, and urged me to be prepared and safe.
That’s perfect. This woman, who could be doing several other things today, is preparing for a terrorist attack, right here in Pasadena. Because she’s afraid. Just like the Bush Junta wants us all to be.
Ugh. Note to self: don’t post when emotional.

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Comments (472)

  1. Hi there.
    I wish this damn country of mine will get it’s cultural ass into gear and start getting some American, English and Australian books over here, because I want to read yours. It’s surely refreshing to know that you are human…yeah yeah, I know, I’m an ass. Being a simple girl with a simple life in a VERY simple-minded world can lead to one being slightly dellusional to the humanity of others.
    It’s not that I think you as being plastic or untrue, it’s just that tv gives you a glossy outlook to life and when you see an actor doing their stuff on screen, it doesn’t seem to register in your mind that they have a life, a name and definately an intolerance to plastic people only liking them for their looks and the character they are portraying. I hope to God I have moved past that.
    Anyway…I could KISS you!!! I seriously thought it was only me and my father who were like “Wha…?” with the Iraq/Saddam/Bin Laden/America crud. Having access to English and American news channels has also given me the inside look to other veiws…including Holland’s (my country now, but I’m orinally Australian). I can understand what you mean about the propeganda, it sux to put it blankly…there is NO critisism or opposing views and all they do is cover one side of the events and not even try to delve into thing deeper facts, like information pertaining the whole Iraqi situation…I’ve lost track as to HOW this whole thing started. Didn’t the Two towers fall 1 and a half years ago? Why Iraq? Why does the American government want to divest Iraq of their weapons when they won’t do it themselves? (it’s like telling a person who will do anything to survive to give up their shield, the one thing that is protecting them from the cannons aimed directly at them…it won’t happen).
    Ok, enough now…WRITE THAT BOOK the way YOU want to write it, if people are negative, focus on the ones who are positive instead…they are the ones who count more and it usually means people will like it. Smile, be pissed when you want to be…be who you are for you are loved for it.
    Ta Ta

  2. “Kingdom of Rain”
    It is pouring rain today and I am listening to my mood music.
    http://www.porcupinetree.com/index2.cfm
    If you have never heard of this band please give them a listen.Click the link.Click discography.Click albumsPpick an album to listen to.
    I recomend Stars Die,The title song,Stars Die.
    ENJOY 😉

  3. Dear Wil,
    Just wanted to take a second to say thank you for posting. It is hard to say what you did, even more so on the internet of all places. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Good luck

  4. Hi Wil,
    I happen to love your emotional posts. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again:
    Thanks for your honesty. It’s refreshing and incredibly courageous.
    -Jocelyn
    PS- You’ve made us all happy monkeys by posting again. 🙂

  5. Good to see you back so soon. Are you sure you don’t need more time?
    I feel like I am in a similar state as you are at the moment. Sometimes life just spins you in circles and the only way you feel you can control any of it is to scream. Well, that’s how I feel. I used to have a good friend to whom I would write my heart out whenever I felt overwhelmed. Doing what you’ve done in your last couple of posts. Writing (or typing) what I’m feeling somehow gives me a way of controlling it, even though I can’t really control it.
    What am I getting at? I don’t know. I’ve just had a bad day, the first time I’ve felt this low since I’ve started university. I am doing what *I* want to do, for *myself* but somehow, other’s questioning that can really crush me.
    Argh.
    Now I am “posting while emotional.” See what you’ve done to me? Now I am going to go before I say something more… the point of my post is gone. But thanks for being you, it makes me feel that there are other people out there who struggle to think, make their own decisions, to really live their lives the way they wish, and that the unthinking, unfeeling are alone.

  7. I’m writing a screenplay that I am very passionate about. Several people gave me lots of feedback, and told me where the “wrong spots” are… I changed the script to reflect all the input…. I read it, it sucked. I tore the entire thing up, re-did it with my vision in mind and completed it.
    It’s now on track for production, and I’m happy I got MY (underline that please) story out, not theirs.
    Q: Have they ever done it?
    A: No
    Conclusion: Don’t listen to them.
    Thats all the lesson I needed.

  9. Wil, don’t let the small minded fools give you any guff. Be yourself, and keep up the great writing.
    Most Americans are against the war, as is shown in poll after poll. They will only support action if the U.N. agrees. The polls indicate the public wants the inspectors to have more time to search Iraq. Bush, and his Oil junta are on a different time table. People should follow the money trail to see the roots of Bush’s agenda. This junta came to power via a coup by the Supreme Court and people need to keep it in mind that Bush’s rule is totally illegal and illegitmate.
    As for his supposed popularity… Interesting that when any poll asks if Bush should be re-elected in 2004, only about 45% say yes. So, this notion that he’s popular is as much of a lie as all the other lies that spew out of that junta in the White House on a daily basis.
    Best to you and yours…

  10. if you’re “anti-american,” i think most of the country is “anti-american.” don’t believe the corporate pollmasters, if people were truly informed, more people want peace than than this old white mans war for oil.
    *peace*
    and absolutely post when youre emotional!
    rayray

  11. Wil,
    Alot going on right now. It can get very tough on you and everyone around you. This might seem very silly in your present mood but do not for get to breath.
    FG

  12. It’s all been said so I’ll sum up.
    Never posted, read a lot
    Loved the post
    Be you because we like you that way
    Stressful week – war talk scary
    Angry, scared, angry, marching this weekend – the least we can do
    With you & behind you, man
    Love,
    G

  13. There is absolutely nothing we can do to “be prepared” for terrorism, so why bother with the fear? I’ve never understood fear–it alienates us from our sense of self and causes deterioration of social welfare. We stop talking to one another, we become paranoid, we become hateful…and honestly, what the hell is the point? Better to love, or try to love, despite the hate.
    Wil, good luck with the book. Writing is hard, and writing a book takes a lot of discipline. I can’t wait to see it. Don’t try so hard to please–if this site is any indication, who you are pleases people plenty.

  16. Also, I wanna second what everyone else has said: post while emotional. If you don’t, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to find community when you need it.
    All your monkeys are here for you.

  17. Wil, sweetie, I can’t wait for the book to come out. I am positive it’s going to be fabulous. Quit listening to the Rich Fucking Assholes.

  18. wil,
    if it’s any consolation (and i’m under NO illusion of thinking i’m the first or only person to say this), for ever 1 person that’s going to rip you to shreds, there’s 2 who are silenly supporting you.
    you’re human. but… you’ve been on tv. there are feeble minded people out there who still believe that this drains you of humanity. but you are human. just like me. just like her and him. just like the assholes who feel the need to try to you feel less than that.
    but you are supported. take time away. new perspectives are always good. we’re not going anywhere.
    as for your book: it’s just that. YOUR BOOK. not anyone else’s. this means youcan put whatever the hell you damn well want in it, and none of us have any right to tell you otherwise.
    you are supported. by so many.
    *happy mojo up*
    christy

  19. Wil,
    I’m so glad you decided to keep posting when you can. Checking your site for new updates is one of the things I look forward to every day. I know your book is going to be wonderful, you’ve worked so long and hard on it. Remember that we all support you, and we’re all here for you!
    Sean

  20. Unamerican? Yeah, I guess you can lump me in with that large group… I fear for this country (which is why I’m bailing and heading for OZ or NZ asap).
    Don’t let the stress and pressure get you down – just take care of one thing at a time. Just remember: People are tools; individuals are cool. ::am cheesey::

  21. Wil,
    First, glad to see you’re back. Don’t let those assholes get to you. You are 100% correct. President Clinton spoke at the University of Texas tonight and spoke for peace. There was also a student protest/march on campus. It was the largest anti-war march on campus since the Vietnam era. The “liberal” media gave equal mention to a small handfull of “pro war” people who were protesting President Clinton as “anti-American”. I beleive these people don’t know what it is to BE an American. A true American questions the actions of our government and speaks out when they beleive what our government is doing is wrong. I am so sick of the “Bush Agenda” I can’t stand it. I honestly beleive he is going to force this war upon us regardless of the opinions of the people and our allies simply because he believes it will take people’s minds off the fact that he can’t kill Osama Bin Laden and try to boost his popularity for his re-election bid next year. I want you to know I have the utmost respect for you. You are truly a GREAT American.

  22. I completely aggree with you on the whole “Terrorist Warnings” I mean, even I can see that this is just a way to get America fired up for the war that we KNOW is coming. Bush has decided to finish what his father did not. I, for one, am against with upcoming war.

  24. Wil, take it easy man. I’ve been a steady reader of your site for a long time, you write very well. None of your worries should lie anywhere near your book; if you’ve used but a fraction of the ability you have, then the book will be excellent. Yeah and I hate assholes like that too, someone should tell them that you REALLY ARE a responsible adult and not their grandson.

  26. Ya know, I stepped away for just a little while and all hell must have broken loose. Wil, the world is full of assholes and they all seem to find their way onto the internet. Sorry you had to deal with them I guess you need to start a toilet list just for these assholes to go to. Second, I am right there with you on the whole war subject. I wish the President would knock off this silly shit and get back on the domestic agenda like he needs to be. He is starting a war when there are people in our country that are homeless or close to homeless. People who are trying to get by on nothing. Students graduating from High School who can not afford college and there is little to no financial aide for them to depend on. This all sounds like it should be a Mad Magazine story or a skit on Saturday Night Live. It just can not be real that we are going to war like this.

  27. Glad you’re back. Writing when upset or emotional can be cathartic…I do it all the time. It can bring out the best of you as well.

  28. Patrick, we need not use such foul language. Am I to take from your statement that no President should be involved in a war, when homelessness exists in the US. So, we need not go after any terrorists, or even defend ourselves from armed conflict with another country? Ridiculous. Even Bill Clinton went to war when there were homeless here in the US. Do you remember Yugoslavia? Do you remember his attack on Afghanistan?
    Also, you facts on college Financial Aid are totally uniformed. Every student who is enrolled in a state university is able to get either subsidized or unsubsidized Federal Stafford loans, up to $5,500 a year. Many in need, ex. Low income, are also able to access over 1 Billion in other grants, such as the Pell Grant. Many more are eligible for emergency funds above this amount. In fact in this budget which is over 2.2 Trillion, for this fiscal year, include increases in Education spending. No student is left behind in Bush

  29. Wil
    Hang in there about the book. If you’re uncertain about it, toss the manuscript in a closet for a week to give yourself a break from it.
    Yeah, RFA’s suck. They should all be taken down a peg or ten.
    I do have a long term solution for Shrub.
    VOTE DEMOCRATIC IN 2004!!!! If you’re in certain precincts in Florida, you should be able to vote twice. Please make both of those votes for the Democrat. Of course, the REALLY sad thing is that the next president will spend his entire term cleaning up all the shit that Shrub has started.

  30. Like your last post Wil. I am in total agreement with you.
    Anyway, I’ve got my own problems right now to say the least, so if your pressing issues right now are trolls on your website and whether or not a book you’re writing is going to be successful or not, dude, you are a VERY lucky man. Don’t forget that.
    Later.
    By the way, I watch Arena whenever I can and I dig it. Tell Fat Man I said what’s up!! 🙂
    Red Dog
    San Fran, CA

  31. I got it, the very next time some pompous SNOT rich fucking asshole talks to you like that, you treat them like your own personal TROLL…or you can just think about all the nasty food they get from servants and restaurant employees who are more then happy to spit in their food. 😀
    PS:So when’s the move???…
    Happy Valentine’s Day…and Prez Day and Thanks for giving us another chance day.
    “Wil the troll killer.” My HERO.

  32. You know Wil, you sat there a took a lot of shit from those Rich Assholes before you finally stuck up for yourself. I am glad our Government is not reacting in the same fashion to the enemies we face. I think you are ignorant and naive about the dangers we face, and it makes me sick to read the posts from the fearful masses. I respect your opinion, find you to be a true American, but wish you would offer some solutions instead of taking shots at our leadership. Get over the election and remember 9/11. Give some thoughts to our troops and forget about whether your goddam book is going to be worth a damn.

  33. you said that you weren’t really getting any joy from the blog because it’s a chore. my opinion is that a blog isn’t about keeping the readers of the blog happy, it’s about expressing yourself. No matter how much the concept of the blog has evolved, it’s still fundamentally someone writing in a journal, and sharing it with the rest of the world. So this post is what it should be about – personal, emotional, maybe even angry. Wil, don’t worry about keeping us happy with cute posts or brilliant writing – we’re happy that you’re even here. You write what you’re thinking about, what’s bothering you, what you want, and the rest of us will deal with it on our own terms, but whatever you do, you should do it for yourself.

  34. In your latest post I could relate to the ’emotional response’. It is so easy to ‘react’. All the self help books try and teach me how be proactive, but the human in me keeps popping out. I personally believe that you (Wil) have no real responsability to maintain this site on a regular basis. It is YOUR outlet. It belongs to YOU. If you have other things to do like ‘live your life’ please do so. I know that you will eventually sort out your book woes. Finally my advice regarding ‘hateful emails’ is to just glance at them and NOT actually read them. They won’t sting so much and you can click on that very handy ‘delete’ button.

  35. It’s not un-American to think that way. It’s un-dumbass. Terror alerts used to mean something. Now I just change the channel. It’s like that boy and the wolf…but anyway, good luck with the book. I hope it works out for you and eventually you can come back here and enjoy just dropping a line to all us crazy fans and supporters of yours. I know that I have enjoyed it, and that’s enough for me. Good luck with everything.

  36. Funny you write the things you write at certain times, Just tonight I was writing a paper about our little “war” and every thought that you said crossed my mind… I just thought that was kinda weird. More to the point, I love this site and think the world of you so keep on doin’ what you do cause we all respect that!!! Peace and much happiness 🙂
    Ziess

  37. I spoke on the phone with my landlady tonight. She was more manic than usual, and ended her conversation with “Between the rain and the possibility of missile attack, I’ve been worrying about a lot today.” Can’t say that I agree, but at least my bedroom’s not flooding again… (yet)

  38. Wil you worry too much!
    It seems as though u have a lot going on in your life, but somethings you just can’t change. You ‘ve just got to run with it. There’s no point wasting energy and time on things u can’t help and all het up about it.
    But things like War everyone has to worry about. And the crap propaganda and “hysteria” .
    But look don’t worry about the book. If you wrote it anything like you write here you’ll be completely fine.

  39. Hey, not many people ever publish a book in their lifetimes, so even if your book doesn’t smash the charts, at least you went for it!

  40. Post when you damn well feel like posting. You are one in a hand full of people who actually make some sense. By the way, some of you best writing is when your all worked up (emotional)… hell mine too!
    Your loyal fan,
    Miguel

  41. You’re too sweet. You should have told the woman to kiss your ass or just told her off. You’d have felt better and her opinion of you would have still been the same. 😉
    As for this war…I agree with you. Folks are out of work, jobs are outsourced to China and other unfriendlies while our own people are jobless because of it, and he wants to play soldier.
    Doesn’t he realize that this could precipitate REAL trouble? *grr*
    No, I didn’t buy duct tape and plastic. Whatever happens, happens. But I feel bad for the poor folks who live in D.C. and N.Y.

  42. Wil…
    I know what you are dealing with.
    I have people almost every night who screqam at
    me.. because of there little problems and having
    a shity life… my supervisor tells me to just
    brush it off… when it just feels so right to
    tell these people where they can stick it.
    as for the war redoric, being scared is what he wants us to be.. to be un-sure, terrified even..
    now I know it’s doesn’t sound like the politically correct response… but…
    I’ve read in scripture, that
    “when you see these things, rejoice! for the
    end is near.”
    these “times, difficult to deal with” are just
    part of the “last days”.. and yes, I know
    that the pain, suffering and death all around us
    is a terrible thing, but certain promises were made to answer for these events… and to quote
    another epic novel…
    “don’t give in to your fear Luke”
    “it will always lead you to the dark side of
    the force” 🙂
    now then; this “book” of which you “write”
    will we be able to get it through your web site?
    or will be able to get it at any bookstore?
    take a good long breath, relax and see in your
    “minds eye” all that you HAVE RIGHT NOW….
    it can only get better for you.
    tater!

  43. The worst thing is that there are, and may always be young men and women that die for nothing.
    I am not talking some type of grand death of a warrior, but the corpsy quiet loss of a fellow human being.
    I don’t give d*mm that it seems brave, or patriotic, or “needs” to be done. There are small, quick, and quiet methods that can be used to achive various goals.
    I can’t deal with seeing another mother cry for the loss of her child!!!!!

  44. Every once in a while, I find something that makes me feel good.
    Trawling the ‘Net on a humid evening, I find the website of an actor who is in one of my favourite shows on TV, one of the few ones I actually need to switch over from the PS2 for.
    To my delight, he turns out to be an extremely hoopy frood! This guy really knows where his towel is; thoughtful, intelligent, not afraid of feelings and one of those people who’s brain is wired in just the right way. The way that makes you actually SEE what is going on around you. The way that makes you acutely AWARE of things most people have a big “Not my problem” sign for.
    It really cheers me to find people like you. It gives me hope to know that another human has stopped and said “Hang on, almost everything being spouted by the RFA’s who run our ‘democracies’ and ‘free media’ is a load of the most potent fertilizer, the smell of which I cannot abide”.
    Wil, you have made me happy tonight. Your work is cool; your writing brings joy.
    Cheers; if you ever drop by, I’ll buy you a beer, mate!

  45. Wil, I’ve been coming to your site for as long as i can imagine. You’ve taken a lot of bullshit in your time, and taken it well. But anyone can only take so much. Myself, i can understand that you’ve crossed the line of patience, and you’ve had a titfull (as we say in britain). You go write your book, enjoy your family, because they are the real things in your life. If you go off for a while, trust me, all the good guys will still be here for you when you get back.
    I know i will 🙂

  46. Sorry to hear how you feel, Wil. I really know… everytime one gets a blow from some muppet, one tries to be prepared for the next time, tries to tell oneself: “Well, they don’t know me, they can’t hurt me…” I want to kick myself everytime when I allow someone to hurt me, but I just don’t have the elephant skin it takes, and it seems you don’t have it either. But I guess the good about that is that what goes in easy, goes out easy as well…wearing your heart on the surface makes you vulnerable but caring and sensitive to others as well.
    Wish I had anything wise to say, but instead, it’s just an e-hug and the assurance that for every troll out there, at least 100 people love you for who you are.
    About the book… yay, welcome in the world of writers. When I first had a story torn to shreds, I felt like I wanted to give up writing. But I guess if you write fr an audience, you partly need to write for that audience, and people are trying to help you make it the best book possible. You’ll be fine. And it will be a book some people will love, some people will hate, and some people will never read. You can’t please everybody. So don’t try. 😉
    Won’t even go into political stuff… you’ve said it all…
    Bless you!

  47. Wil,
    Firstly with regards to the RFA babysitters…*urge to kill rising……..* As someone said already. “Fuck em if the can’t take a joke!” You acted with dignaty and restraint. They showed themselves as narrow minded pond scum.
    With regards to the war…
    I live in the UK. Poodle boy (The right honourable Tony Blair) is utterly ignoring public opinion in his support for the war that almost 70% of the Brits don’t want! Cheer up…you have a frothing bigoted maniac in charge of your country, but we have a frothing bigoted maniacs lapdog in charge of ours!!!!!
    *sigh*
    I totally here you about the news services not doing their job. I like to think of myself as pretty well informed about Iraq as I do my own research (God bless the web) as well as watching the BBC news, CNN and so on. It is staggering the level of ignorance out there…..Here’s a jolly little fact I found out from my MP when I wrote to him to register my objection to the war.
    “A staggering 42% of the Iraqi population are made up of children under 15 years of age” (Source is http://www.desert-rescue.org.uk/)
    You guessed it…when Shrub pushes the button and starts to rip innocent civilians apart (With Poodle boy yapping at his heels the whole time) the ‘collateral damage’ that we will be murdering are kids! Honest to god F*cking KIDS!!!!!
    This world is so screwed up I don’t even recognise it….

  48. Wil:
    It’s good to see that you dusted yourself off and got right back on the horse. That’s not always an easy trick, especially when people and events have cut you a little too cruelly.
    Some days, life seems like it’s going right down the sh*tter and it takes every ounce of fortitude not to go full-tilt psycho. Then, you break. And that’s okay. We humans are made of fragile stuff, no matter how strong we want to be. This is something that happens to every one of us from time to time. As far as I am concerned, you have handled it just fine. You got back on the horse. Not everyone does.
    Internet Trolls are interesting beasts. These pesky individuals feed off of the shell shock and negativity that they engender in others. It gives them a giddy sense of power, kind of like the way a thirteen year old feels when they put a flaming bag of poo on their neighbor’s front step and ring the doorbell. They excitedly whisk themselves to a safe, concealed location, yet one just close enough to watch their handywork in action.
    Yes, these little tards laugh their asses off while you stomp out the flames, cursing audibly, and attracting the attention of the curious. Yes, they get a real charge out of it. And, yes, they are sick, sad, little bastards.
    It simply never occurs to an Internet Troll how hurtful they can be, just like it never occurs to a thirteen year old with a flaming bag of poo that they just ruined their neighbor’s good mood along with his shoes. It’s all about clueless immaturity and the thrill of being a no-good putz. One can only hope they grow-up and get a life someday.
    Don’t allow yourself to take these genetic abberations seriously. When these rejects come running to your door with their little flaming bag of poo, give them ol’ Uncle Willie’s boot. Have a good laugh at their expense and chalk up another victory against these chumps. After all, you are a success at what you do, even if you don’t feel that way all of the time. All these jerks have is a computer in their mommy’s basement, little meaningful human interaction, few accomplishments, and the cartoon porn they downloaded off of KaZaa to whack off to at night. F*cking screw ’em. They are not worth your time or concern.
    As for your book, everyone is their own worst critic. Most people want to be perfect in their endeavors, foremost and especially, artists. It is frightful for anyone to share their work with others. What anyone would want to hear is glowing praise, and it is a crushing blow to anyone’s ego when they just don’t hear that. Realistically, you are not going to get praise and approval from everyone. Every artist has critics that think their work is crap, and everyone is a critic.
    The important thing is to write for yourself because it pleases you and it expresses who you are. You can’t look to other people for that any more than you can look to other people to make your decisions for you.
    Take a deep breath and forget about the damn book for a few days. Then, set aside some time to read it all again. Then, read it as if you are reading it for the very first time. Thereafter, if you feel that you have done your very best, you genuinely like what you have written, and it is what’s so, then leave it the hell alone. If you don’t like something, then change it. Rinse and repeat this process until you can put your head on your pillow and sleep peacefully at night, content with your accomplishment.
    And don’t worry about the critics. Most of them have never written a goddamn book anyway.
    I wish you all the best! Keep the faith!
    Bad Kitty

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