numb

About forty minutes after I landed back in Vegas yesterday morning, my kitty Sketch had a heart attack. He was in “His Spot” on my bedroom floor, and Anne held him while he died.
He looked fine when I left, so I didn’t even scratch his chest like I always do. I just told him, “I love you, Fat Boy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Anne said that it happened so fast, it was over before she had a chance to freak out.
I had to stay in Vegas and write about the final table of the championship, so my psyche just sort of put me into shock until I got home this afternoon. Since I walked into my house, I’ve been moving between the hysterical sobbing and the weird numbness.
I think I’m going to take a few days off, meet my deadlines, and cry a whole, whole bunch.

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274 thoughts on “numb”

  2. My sincere condolences, Wil, to you and your family.
    My cat Josephine passed the same way a couple of years ago, and it still hurts. She died in my arms quite suddenly in the middle of the night, so quickly I couldn’t even call out to my wife. I still have her collar next to my desk. I miss her every day, thinking of the way she used to wedge herself as tightly as possible between me and the sofa, purring happily.
    The pain of their passing is the price we pay for loving, and being loved by, our pets. We make ourselves vulnerable knowing that we’re going to be hurt. But it’s worth it, because life without love – and pain – isn’t life at all.

  3. I also have 2 cats, and even though I’ll likely always have cats in my life (different ones over the years), I still empathize for your loss. With one cat nearing 16, the other 12, I have an idea of the dread of losing them.

  4. Sorry to hear the bad news Wil. It is amazing to see how many people also think of their furry babies as members of the family. There is nothing expect the actual passing of the pet that will make you feel worse than people that don’t understand. I hope you take some comfort in the fact Sketch went quickly and didn’t suffer. He died only knowing the love your family gave him. I won’t say anymore lest a cliche come out. Good luck to you and your family.

  5. Words are hard as I sit here and look at my baby of 15-16 years sleeping by my feet. My condolences go out to you, Anne and your family on your loss.

  6. Wil and Family,
    Our hearts go out to you. Everyone can tell how much he was loved by you guys. We are all here for you…
    Tim, Diane, Copper, Ping, Mr. Bojangles & Domino.

  8. Shit. That bites man.
    Weep, grieve, take as long as you need to.
    We’ll still be here.
    Sending loving thoughts to you and your family,
    Sharfa

  10. Oh Hell. It’s been a roller coaster for you guys lately, hasn’t it? Since I already know that nothing I say will make it stop hurting–after all, you couldn’t say anything to fix it if I lost my Lily–I will only say that I’m sorry for your loss, and am sending prayer and happy thoughts to you and your family.

  11. Wil, – We’re so sorry to hear of your loss. While the pain hopefully will subside some in time always remember the good times you’ve had with Sketch. Our prayers are with you and your family.

  12. Not all pets are lucky enough to have someone care so much about them Wil. For the great life Sketch enjoyed he, like all pets, shared with you and your family the only gift they can…loving memories
    I wish the best for you and your family during this trying time
    Pete

  13. My kitty was 19 when she passed. We grew up together; she was like a little furry sister.
    It took her a week to die. A week of running to my mother’s house everyday after work to see if she was still alive, spending every second trying to make her comfortable, spending every moment away from her crying, wondering if I’d see her again.
    My heart is breaking for you. You are and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

  14. Wil – I am so sorry for your loss and am wishing nothing but the best for you and your family. I will think wonderful thoughts for darling Sketch and know that he’s in the best of places chasing the best of treats now.
    Sally

  15. So sorry 🙁
    You must know and feel all the good energy that we all are sending your families way. Take the time to heal and we will still be here when you are ready to come back!

  17. I’m so sorry for your loss Wil, one of my cats went the same way (something I had never dealt with before, I always had lost my pets as a result of “the talk”) – I was inconsolable for weeks. Take your time, we’ll be here when you’re ready to talk again.

  20. Oh boy, Wil, I am so sorry for your loss. You’ve had so much loss in the past few months, you must have some good stuff coming.
    good thoughts and vibrations headed your way from Albuquerque.

  21. I am so sorry to hear about Sketch – as others before me have said, I know what it’s like to lose a beloved furry friend. Mourn your buddy for as long as you need and you will know when you’re ready to find another.

  23. Oh damn… I’m so sorry for the loss of your fuzz. It never gets easier; take the time you need to get through the pain — the only thing I can offer is that someday you WILL remember the good parts, without the hurt.
    Love & Light to you-

  25. Dear Wheaton Family,
    To lose 2 loved ones so close together is truly devastating. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you all. The Bear and the Fat Boy are carousing together in heaven. Have a good cry. When it rains it pours Wil. Your life is changing.
    Lorraine

  27. I am sorry for your loss… reading your entries about Sketch were so sweet and it is sad to hear he has moved on – Hugs to the family… May their hearts be light knowing sketch and bear are together…

  28. Will, My deepest condolences. Losing a pet is as bad as losing your closest friends. When my Ex did in my cat Bob, I lost a week of work, and was kinda zombified, likkered up and shellacked for 3 or 4 weeks. I hope it helps knowing a bunch of strangers out here in the internet aether care about you. Best wishes.

  29. (Yeesh, people on livejournal are real assholes. I originally posted this in the RSS feed I get.)
    The guardians at the Rainbow Bridge will step aside, to let him pass and join his friends and cousins. He’ll join the ranks of warriors and healers and bards. Two of mine — Tiger, and Ellwood — will be there to welcome him, and show him all the places he can walk.
    You’ll see him again.

  30. Dear Wil, Anne, Nolan, and Ryan,
    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I foster homeless momma cats, get them “broken” (spayed/neutered), and re-home them and their babes when I can. When I can’t, they stay here and add their chaos to this abode.
    We lost an entire litter to Feline Upper Respiratory Infection despite our best efforts. I just felt so helpless when nothing helped. I can only hope the little darlings knew some peace while they were with us.
    Sketch was so loved. He died with his family’s love surrounding him. Loving anything is always a risk, because you open yourself to the horrible pain of losing those that we love. You took that risk and I cry for your loss, and your pain.
    Thank you for loving Sketch and Bear as deeply as you do. As sad as I am for your loss, I rejoice that you and your family have so much courage to love so deeply.

  34. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. -Dr. Seuss
    *hugs* Take care, Wil.

  37. Kitty Heaven must’ve been too lonely for the stumpy one. They’re together now.
    I’m very sorry and sad for you and your family. I can’t imagine the feelings you must cope with right now and I hope you can celebrate your cats as you would a relative that has passed on.

  39. Oh Wil – I am so sorry to hear about Sketch. I am a cat Mom and don’t know what I would do without my Makita girl. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sending as much good Ju-Ju as I can muster.

  40. Wil,
    I’m so sorry for your second loss in such a short time span. We can only love these lovely creatures in our lives for so little time. Remember the good and treasure them. Write about them – share them – explain them to all of us, your readers. Once again I’m in tears over my desk at work and everyone is thinking I’m insane for caring so deeply for your loss – I do!
    (((((((((((((WHEATONS)))))))))))))
    Lots of love
    Rosemary
    1cutebird

  41. MtDewAddict’s comment made me think of a great quote from Richard Bach about this sort of thing….
    “Do not be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”
    I think this is as valid for pets as it is for people.
    For The Writer in you, Wil- here’s one from Ray Bradbury that I’ve always liked:
    “So while [writing] cannot, as we wish it could,
    save us from wars, privation, envy, greed, old age, or death, it can revitalize us amidst it all.” (from Zen in the Art of Writing)

  42. Dear Wil and family,
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is heartbreaking to lose a beloved kitty. Sketch was a lucky kitty to have you, and you were lucky to have him. I hope that you and your family can find comfort during this difficult time in the wonderful memories that you and Sketch made together. Our beloved kitties never really leave us.
    You are in my thoughts.
    ljfalcon

  43. We need the love of critters. They need our love, and to love us. There are needy creatures waiting for your big heart. Soon you will be making some lonely pet’s life complete. Until then, peace.

  44. I’m so sorry, Wil. I hope that you, Anne and the boys are doing OK. I’m joining everyone above me (and those who will be below) in sending along lots of love during your time of loss. Take all the time you need, man. We’ll be here when you get back.
    >:D

  45. Ahhh, crap. That Emote didn’t turn out how I wanted it to. But rest assured, it wasn’t a develish smiley, it was intended to be a hug.

  46. I’m so sorry about Sketch. I’m going to make a banner in remembrance of him, just like I did for Felix. It’s the least I can do after you let us get to know him. Charlie and I want you to know that we are thinking of the WHEATON family.
    Just remember how much he loved his family and how much the family loved him. He was one lucky cat to have such a loving home and family who cared about him.
    With lots of love and hugs,
    Morgan and Charlie_The_Cat

  48. Holy crap Wil! When it rains it pours for you right now! I feel for you man and sending you a huge load of good mojo at you all.
    DAMN! This sucks balls!
    Hang in there man, and theres no shame expressing your feelings when it comes to loosing a family member/s.

  50. Sorry. Totally inadequate, and wishing there were something more to say…something inspiring, or deep, or comforting.
    But loved ones leave a huge hole when they go, and “Sorry” admits just how big a hole is left behind. *huge sigh* Warm hugs for all of you, and may he curl up next to you in a dream from time to time. (He will – you know this.)

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