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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

your cowboys are no good here

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The only thing worse than having pocket kings busted twice (by AQo, then AKo) in three hands, moving me to the other side of the rail and out of the money, was my goddamn iBook crashing so hard it wouldn’t even boot, leaving me with no way to blog about the last few days. Five times in two years (across two different machines — this most recent time just a couple days after I got the damn thing back from the Apple Hospital) is just about my limit, so I think I’m done with it, and now I’m shopping for a new laptop. I’ll look at the Powerbook if I can convince Apple’s Customer Service to help me out, otherwise I think I’m giong to break down and get one of those Dark Side laptops, so I can play ultimatebet, or partypoker, or pokerstars while I’m on the road.
Or in my bedroom. Or in my living room, kitchen, or just about anywhere else, because if I liked poker before, I am madly, passionately, stupidly in love with it now.
My friend Chris wrote in his blog a month or so ago about this moment when his game suddenly changed; when all the books, homegames, the online and live tournaments, the WPT and WSOP on TV, and everything else all combined to kick his game up to a new level. That happened to me while I was nearing the end of the first day at Bellagio. It never would have happened if I hadn’t sat with Lee Jones at Aladdin on Monday night, but somehow everything he told me, plus the little bit of reviewing I did, then putting that into action against some amazing players . . . I may not have much money to show for it (though I did kill a guy at Flamingo late last night in the 1-2 NLHE game with . . . wait for it . . . Kings) but my game is better, I’ve made great new friends, and I proved to myself that I actually can compete at a higher level than I could ten days ago.
I didn’t make the money, but I played the best poker of my life. I sat there with the best, and I played with them. They made plays at me and I played right back. I took down a few good pots from some great players, and I can take some comfort in knowing that I was finally knocked out by one of the best players in the world. I always got my money in good, and I only needed to get lucky twice. Once I did, and once I didn’t. Hell, that’s poker. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I made some great new friends in Vegas. John Vorhaus, who is blogging the tournament for Ultimate Bet, and Jen Creason, who updates for PokerWire.com cheered for me when I was a player, and welcomed me into their world when I traded my chips for a notebook.
I’m home for another ten minutes, then off to ACME for the show tonight, then back to Vegas tomorrow morning to cover the final table.
In the past, whenever I’ve had the good fortune to experience anything great, writing about it has always been as much fun (and sometimes more fun) than the original experience itself. I’m so excited to start writing this story . . . I have a feeling that the story that eventually comes out of this week is going to fucking rock. (Well, for me, at least 😉

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23 April, 2005 Wil

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65 thoughts on “your cowboys are no good here”

  1. applesauce says:
    23 April, 2005 at 5:10 pm

    You have a great attitude about it for sure!!
    There will always be a next time and I’m sure you will be there.
    Can’t wait to read your full story 🙂

  2. MouseBeast says:
    23 April, 2005 at 5:15 pm

    You’re showing all sorts of good attitude about the tourney, Wil. It’s a pleasure to read your take on things, and im looking forawrd to your full trip report.
    BTW: Who are you covering the final table for?
    Best wishes
    ~~(__)8>

  3. Marty B. says:
    23 April, 2005 at 5:20 pm

    Hey Wil. I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. What really surprized me, was the poker stories you had posted. I am a huge NL Holdem fan, and to find out you were not only interested, but a student of the game was really cool. I was very exicited for your opportunity in the WPT championship. For someone like me, that would be a once in a lifetime experience, and I found myself typing in your URl several times over the past few days.
    Sorry to hear that King Kong got you knocked out of the tourney. Bad breaks and bad beats are part of the game. Would really like to see you join Pokerstars. I play there often, and would love the opportunity to play against you, or even talk nl holdem poker. Good luck to you.

  4. Cookie says:
    23 April, 2005 at 5:24 pm

    No, not just for you.
    Break a leg tonight!

  5. =^) says:
    23 April, 2005 at 6:04 pm

    Apple stores will be giving away free products, including powerbooks on April 29th from 6PM to midnight as part of the Tiger release. You might want to check it out at your local Apple store…you just might score a new powerbook. Although, in my opinion, Apple should just give you a new powerbook…one that won’t be a lemon!

  6. Orbhead says:
    23 April, 2005 at 6:07 pm

    I’ve never heard of anyone having worse luck with their Mac than you are. What are you doing to it Wil?

  7. MtDewAddict says:
    23 April, 2005 at 6:21 pm

    Your iBook crashed, I crashed my car.
    The universe is obviously plotting against us.
    Good to hear you had a fantabulous time, though!
    P.S.
    Car’s FUBAR, but I’m fine, in case anyone was wondering.
    P.P.S.
    I should learn how to play poker.

  8. EdwoodCA says:
    23 April, 2005 at 6:26 pm

    Man… love reading all your posts, not just the poker ones. Can’t wait for the extended WPT entries.
    Sucks about your laptop. I thought Apples had a good reliablility record… but five times with two machines… what’s inside those things… Gateways??? LMAO
    As I posted in your photoblog a couple days back:
    “This is why I’ve always stuck with reliable Windows PC’s and laptops. They never crash like your Apple seems to prone to do.
    Until I boot them up, of course.”
    Kick ass tonight, @ ACME!

  9. Gabe says:
    23 April, 2005 at 7:11 pm

    Hey, lookie there, inside the top ten!
    What a rollercoaster ride reading through the comments on the last post. Excitement, heartbreak, wow!
    I’m ecstatic to hear that your game has improved, maybe that will lead to more great poker dramas, I think we all would enjoy that.
    Too bad for the iBook, go Powerbook, and if the Apple Geeks can’t hook you up, then maybe I’ll get a RIO instead of iPod Photo to replace my mini.
    Can’t wait to hear the full story…
    – Gabe

  10. Governor Rocknar says:
    23 April, 2005 at 7:24 pm

    Wherever you take the iBook to get it fixed DON’T take it to CompUSA! They’re the WORST for customer service!

  11. AJ says:
    23 April, 2005 at 7:36 pm

    Holdem is becoming so big that I think it’s time you write a sketch or two for ACME about it.
    Oh… FreeBSD runs great on my Dell Inspiron.
    I’m just sayin…
    /former HARD-CORE Mac geek
    –AJ @ Radio d’Egg

  12. StudioGlyphic says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:11 pm

    It won’t help you feel any better about the beats, but I got knocked out of a tournament yesterday when my KK ran up against someone’s 67clubs. He check-raised me all-in with an open-ended straight flush draw (Ad 5c 8c flop) and caught running sevens to make trips.
    “… if I liked poker before, I am madly, passionately, stupidly in love with it now.”
    That’s awesome, man. Seriously you should get the Windows machine and hit the virtual felt. Just be sure to get a screen that’s at least 1600×800 so you can fit four tables on at once. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
    Good luck with the show tonight; we’ll check you out next week.

  13. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  14. mike3k says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    The best computer I ever owned was my original 12″ Aluminum PowerBook with a SuperDrive. It was light, fast, and as rugged as an iBook. I traded it last year for my current 15″ 1.5 GHz PowerBook, also with a SuperDrive. A few months ago I suddenly noticed I had half the amount of RAM I was supposed to. When I opened it and swapped the DIMMs I found it still thought the lower slot was empty. The dealer replaced the motherboard for free because it was still under warranty. Other than that, I’ve been very happy with this powerbook.

  15. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  16. Dave Westbay says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:30 pm

    I am very much looking forward to reading the whole story about your experience at the WPT. I’d say that it looks like you came out of it in good shape. Just watch out that your love for poker doesn’t lead you to The Dark Side….except for getting a laptop that works, that is.

  17. shewhobeatsass says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:56 pm

    So we have a poker addict on our hands now…very interesting. Well, The Sisterhood would like to propose a challenge to you Wil. I have been playing poker since I was 8 years old, and Maddy (shewhokicksass) has been playing since she was 3. If you ever have the time and inclination to come out to Pennsylvania, stop in Somerset County. You’d be guarenteed at least 2 good games of poker.
    Also, good luck with ACME!
    Love and Hugs from the Sisterhood of Shes (PA Division),
    Analee Harriman (shewhobeatsass)
    Madeline Kimmel (shewhokicksass)
    Angela Stevanus (shewhowhupsass)
    Wendy Harriman (shewhoistooyoungtostayuplate)

  18. Erbo says:
    23 April, 2005 at 9:55 pm

    Wil, what you ought to do is get one of the Dark Side laptops, then dual-boot it with Linux. That way, it’ll only be half evil. 🙂 Boot to Windows to play poker, then boot to Linux to do your real work.
    I need to get back on WCP on Xbox Live while I’m still laid up after my knee surgery…I’ve been spending too much time playing Halo 2. At least I suck less at poker than I do at Halo; I don’t always win WCP sit’n’go tournaments, but I finish in the money more often than not.
    One of these days, I expect to see you finishing in the money at the WSOP…

  19. Gushie says:
    23 April, 2005 at 10:56 pm

    Man, that sucks about the iBook. I hate to hear that… I’m writing this on a 5 year-old iBook (the one that looks like a multi-colored toilet lid) that gets used daily but has never had any problems. However, my real workhorse is a 7 year-old G3 PowerBook with Office 98 and OS 8.6. Maybe instead of a Windoze machine, you should go retro and buy something old and reliable?!? (Of course, that would probably rule out the new poker games…)

  20. naiah christine earhart says:
    23 April, 2005 at 11:05 pm

    Eh, the dark side’s not *that* dark. I’m a lifelong Mac girl, married to a Windows base kernel dev (moving to the virtual machine-hypervisor at the end of the month). I’ve learned to live with pc’s as a necessary evil. 😉
    You could have a Win/Linux box if you really wanted to. If you’re willling to hack it, there’s a free software virtual machine setup, Xen.
    MS support for Linux virtual machines is coming.
    I can’t wait for your poker stories (even better if they make for a book!)

  21. mrandrews says:
    23 April, 2005 at 11:18 pm

    re: ibooks… my wife’s iBook tends to kick it a few weeks before yours does every time… this last time we had it back 3 days before it fried itself… HDD was ruined from all the bloody logic board issues. I called Apple tech and told them I was just about to cry because of all the pain and suffering, and they told me they would give me a massive discount on a 12″ Powerbook (my current 15″ has never even hiccuped) because of all my troubles. So I get a Powerbook for about the cost of an iSight, and my wife’s computer is faster than mine 🙁
    Which is to say: don’t go to the dark side. What I told the Apple support guys was: “This thing is dying so often, it’s like my Dell Inspiron all over again.” Really. You have no idea what pain is till you go down that road.
    (I know poker like a fish knows sunbathing, so I’m in the smile-and-nod mode for the rest of your post. But it sounds great!)

  22. Chris the Tiki Guy says:
    23 April, 2005 at 11:36 pm

    Wil,
    I’ve started watching “Celebrity Poker Showdown” semi-obsessively (it follows “The West Wing” reruns on Bravo Monday through Thursday), and this makes me wonder…when are you gonna get yourself on there? I’m sure you could find a kick-ass charity to play for…and you’re definitely good enough…if they can get some of the D-list celebs they get, they’ll definitely be open to a B-lister like you…
    On the plus side, I can finally understand the “AKo” stuff that you put in these things…for the longest time, i thought it was gobbledygook…I guess those hours spent with Dave Foley, Jason Alexander and Allison Janney have paid off.
    Kick some ass tomorrow, Wil!
    -Chris

  23. Chris the Tiki Guy says:
    23 April, 2005 at 11:37 pm

    Oh, and Wil, I apologize for all the ellipses; I’ve been drinking a bit, I’ve had drama at work, and I’m kind of addicted to them.
    -Chris

  24. robespierrette says:
    24 April, 2005 at 12:41 am

    Wil-
    FYI, you share this obsession with my spouse, the lovely and talented Mr. James Ernest. He recently finished writing on his second poker book (the first with Phil Foglio and Mike Selinker, the second just with Mike). The first one, “Dealer’s Choice”, covers nickel-ante games. The second is about Hold’em, and will be coming out from Eagle Games eventually.
    Our offer to hook you up with any Cheapass Games you need still stands . . . : )

  25. robespierrette says:
    24 April, 2005 at 12:42 am

    Wil-
    FYI, you share this obsession with my spouse, the lovely and talented Mr. James Ernest. He recently finished writing on his second poker book (the first with Phil Foglio and Mike Selinker, the second just with Mike). The first one, “Dealer’s Choice”, covers nickel-ante games. The second is about Hold’em, and will be coming out from Eagle Games eventually.
    Our offer to hook you up with any Cheapass Games you need still stands . . . : )

  26. robespierrette says:
    24 April, 2005 at 12:49 am

    Oops. Sorry for the double post. Not sure how that happened. . .BTW, are you keeping the text ads going? We’re cooking up a few more.

  27. bgiese says:
    24 April, 2005 at 1:39 am

    Wil, sorry to hear about your computer problems. I’m curious to you do regular file maintenance (repair permissions, etc). Corrupt library cache or screwed up permissions could be your problem. I suggest the shareware program – Cocktail – I run it once a month on my Macs and never have a problem.
    Another thing to check could be a bad or loose RAM module. just a couple thoughts..
    BTW in case you don’t know.. you can play poker online with pokerroom.com their online games work fine across all platforms.

  28. releaze says:
    24 April, 2005 at 2:28 am

    wil,
    great to hear you had so much fun playing with the great guys out there 🙂 i dont know much about poker, but i can imagine it must have been thrilling 🙂
    have lots of fun with your last day in vegas today 🙂

  29. Daini-chan says:
    24 April, 2005 at 2:57 am

    Sorry about the losing, but hey, at least you had fun!
    If you choose to go with a non-Mac laptop, I suggest you go HP. They’re absolutely awesome. We’ve got an HP MediaCenter and it’s one of the best prebuilt computers we’ve ever owned. My dad bought one of the laptops just a few months ago in preparation for his trip overseas, and he likes it so much he’s using it instead of a desktop. Their service people are pretty nice, too.

  30. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  31. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  32. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  33. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  34. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  35. Scott T says:
    23 April, 2005 at 8:16 pm

    Wil:
    Do I sense a novel in the works? Vegas, poker, egomaniacal players, excitement, intrigue……….it COULD make a great fictional story. You certainly have the talent for it. Think about it!
    🙂
    Scott

  36. Zkid says:
    24 April, 2005 at 3:42 am

    It is now officially your fault that my parents have to put up with endless poker talk from me at dinner times, because, thanks to your talking about poker, I took it upon myself to learn how to play properly. I think I’m doing pretty well so far. And you play at UltimateBet? Heh, that’s where I play. I’ll have to try to catch you on there sometime.

  37. Kareny says:
    24 April, 2005 at 6:36 am

    Longtime lurker (since 2001), first time poster (uh… I think). Anyway, don’t go over to the Dark Side. I promise a Power Book will make you happy. I’m only a month into my Mac conversion on my new, apple.com refurbished PowerBook G4, after years on PC, and I’m never going back. Can’t say what’s up with the iBook other than presumably a streak of bad luck, but I do know that as promised by friends, I’m already starting to curse my PC at work now that I come home to play on the pretty PowerBook.
    Don’t do it! Go PowerBook. They work. Promise.

  38. CJ says:
    24 April, 2005 at 9:11 am

    Hey wil…
    It’s great to see you’ve taken something positive out of those horrible beats. From what I’ve heard and read, you played really well, got your money in the pot when you were ahead, and just got unlucky.
    Three things knock you out of a tourney: Bad play, bad timing and bad luck. The first one is depressing, the second one is disappointing, the third one is just poker. If there were no luck, Phil Hellmuth would win every time! (Or so he says.)
    Remember, we all want you in Vegas on June 4th to play in our WPBT event. I hope Chris has been bothering you about it! Just go here for details. You’ll have a seat no matter what.

  39. Mouse-Girl says:
    24 April, 2005 at 10:00 am

    Glad you had so much fun with the poker tourney.
    I don’t know so much about poker, only played a handful of games and needed a ‘cheat sheet’ everytime. Having everyone fall for a bluff sure is fun though 😉
    I read ‘Just A Geek’ last week, you write really well, I enjoyed reading it and have recommended it to my friends.
    Looking forward to more books in the future.
    Lea

  40. Noel Burke says:
    24 April, 2005 at 10:11 am

    I recently bought a brill new laptop. Might be worth a look.
    Click here for a pic and details of my laptop

  41. warcrygirl says:
    24 April, 2005 at 1:52 pm

    Wil, you have such a great attitude. Keep on playing and better luck next time.

  42. Noel Burke says:
    24 April, 2005 at 3:30 pm

    Will, you probably know this already but trackback is gone again on this post.
    I just posted a cool pic of me at work, It makes me look like an extra from the film “Outbreak”!

  43. Dave says:
    24 April, 2005 at 4:54 pm

    Although I love Apple’s products, the development tools I use for school and work only run under Windows. So,I use an IBM Thinkpad T42. Weighs in at about 4.5 lbs, 5 hour battery stock, nice video, CD burner, three years parts & labor. It goes wherever I go and has effectively replaced my desktop PC as a development box. A close relative managed a legal department for many years that used Thinkpads exclusively and reports a

  44. Dave says:
    24 April, 2005 at 4:55 pm

    #@$%#$ less-than signs. Should read: … and reports a < one percent failure rate. You won’t get that from Dell.

  45. ChairoNoMe says:
    24 April, 2005 at 5:53 pm

    Sorry to hear about your computer problems. If you get another Mac, go for it, but just stay away from those darn Apple stores. I went to one and I’ve never been more bored in my life. I’d definately wait for Tiger’s release though…

  46. Chuck says:
    24 April, 2005 at 7:36 pm

    Hey Wil, sorry you didn’t get into the money at the tournament, but I’m glad you still had a good time. I am look forward to hearing your reading this week at the Acme.

  47. Laney says:
    24 April, 2005 at 8:02 pm

    I’m young, but I play poker alot. (Maybe we can play sometime. If your in the area. Which I highly doubt will ever happen.)
    It’s hard to lose but I guess you just have to suffer with it. I guess you win some you lose some. (But everyone wants to win dammit) I hate that saying. It’s true but I hate it anyway. Oh well. At least you had fun doing what you were doing. Sorry you didn’t go all the way and win the tournament. (You probably would have.) Anyway hugs from me.
    Laney
    P.S.
    Hope you get that new computer. And sorry to hear about the computer problems.

  48. Ruger says:
    24 April, 2005 at 9:12 pm

    Wil,
    If you decide you want a ThinkPad, say so in a response to this post and I will email you. I work for IBM and I can get you a great deal on one. The employee discount is substantial and PCMag loves the new T43s.

  49. Governor Rocknar says:
    24 April, 2005 at 11:03 pm

    I agree – I as a fellow iBook user would almost be willing to lend you MY iBook
    It has to be a software issue – something installed isn’t agreeing with the system. Has to be.
    Hell if you’d like, you’re welcome to use my refurbished Power Macintosh 7500 AV upgraded to 350 Mhtz G4 – it has the RCA audio and video inports and with an Apple 14″ Trinitron, it makes a nice TV receiver. Runs OS9. Just had a 4 gig HD put in by CompUSA (FINALLY!)
    You’re welcome to use it if you’d like, Wil.

  50. BoldyGoingNowhere says:
    24 April, 2005 at 11:05 pm

    Wil,
    Terribly sorry to hear about your iBook as a user for the last decade I must say your experience falls into that 1% category, I sincerely hope Apple helps you out. Please let me know what happens with it, your fellow Apple users want to make sure you get it worked out.

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