throwin’ the goat

ByWil

WWdN reader Seymore pointed me to this story in The Onion that hits a little close to home:

Metal Council Convenes To Discuss ‘Metal Hand Sign’ Abuse

In an emergency session Tuesday, members of the Supreme Metal Council
strongly condemned the increasing use of the metal hand sign in lay
society, claiming that its meaning has become perverted by overuse.

"The metal sign, or ‘sign of the goat,’ has all but lost its impact
as a token of respectful recognition for something truly ‘rocking’ or
‘metal,’" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said. According to
Butler, members are upset that their sacred gesture is being used to
acknowledge and celebrate "favorable but clearly non-metal events."

"We have all heard the reports of people using it to greet their
in-laws, or after starting their lawn mowers with a single pull,"
Butler said. "But recently it was brought to our attention that someone
used the gesture in a Texas convenience store after snagging the last
box of carrot cakes. This simply won’t do."

"I remember a time not long ago when the Devil Horns were reserved
for only the most righteous of person, deed, or riff," Grand Elder
Lemmy Kilmister said. "To see someone throwing the horns to his mate at
the launderette because the clothes dryer came to a full stop just as
he finished reading his copy of Circus… It breaks my heart."

Nodding in silent agreement were council members Adalwolfa, a
curvaceous Frank Frazetta-drawn Teutonic she-warrior magically brought
to life by the council, and the spirit of slain Pantera guitarist
"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott.

Of course, because I am a good ‘merican, I don’t recognize the legitimacy of any governing body which I can’t manipulate or otherwise control, so I am not afraid of any resolutions which may come out of this so-called ‘council.’

Rock. \m/

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25 Comments

  6. When in doubt, throw the shocker instead. It doesn’t have to be metal to rate the shocker.
    Or, y’know, if you’re feeling sassy, throw them both. ROCK’EM AND SHOCK’EM BABY!! YEAH!!
    \\n/ \m/
    (looks around and slinks off, mildly embarrassed)

  7. This is too Frickin’ hilarious! **ROTFLM(R&R)AO!** I KNOW they’ve got to be kidding! This “Hand Gesture” predates Rock as the symbol of the Cuckold (If you don’t know what that is, look it up!)
    (Oh my gosh, my GEEKDOM is showing!)       -Dusty
    [P.S. Only 35 More Days Until Beethoven’s Birthday!!! – Shroeder]

  8. Hi Wil-
    Just noticed the Neil Gaiman Book “Anansi Boys” in your read section. Have you read it? I’m a huge fan of Gaiman’s work.

  11. I have a picture of me and Ron Jeremy throwing the shocker. But it’s perfectly.. well, PG-13. No, um, nudity involved. Kinda.
    Um. Should I have said that?

  13. *blink blink*
    And some people wonder why American’s are made fun of and not respected?
    You really need to check out The Onion – this isn’t intended to be taken seriously.

  17. I admit to using the “metal sign” on an 8th grade cheerleading road trip to an amusement park, where upon riding the Thunder Road roller coaster, sitting in the front seat I threw my hands in the air and actually pulled a double “sign”. But in justification, I was listening to Motley Crew at the time. Oh yeah. Cheerleading, Motley Crew, and roller coasters. Could there be a better reason?

  20. OK, I will admit that the article was rather hilarious, but was it absolutely necessary for them to shamelessly trash the name of Dimebag Darrell?
    Aw, heck, I’ll throw the goat, but only in honor of Dimebag!
    ~R.I.P. “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott 12/08/04 \mm/~

  21. I know this if off topic and I dont know who will see it (feel free to remove the post if you want) But I just wanted to say Nov 12 was the 2 year anniversary of the death of Jonathan Brandis, I blogged about it and even have a part of an article where Wil discussed it –
    Gone but not forgotten.
    The best thing we can do for someone is keep them alive in our hearts.
    http://unstablemindky.blogspot.com/

  23. Ummm… my 3 year old does that particular sign… only in American Sign Language, it means something else. If you sort of fly it through the air like an airplane, it means, well, airplane. Looks cute when she does it too, lol.

  24. Alums of the University of Texas use that gesture all the time in a non-metal context–it’s the symbol of the Longhorn (our mascot) and is usually accompanied by shouting “Hook ’em Horns!” at a football game.
    Maybe the person in the Texas convenience store had just spotted someone wearing a UT sweatshirt. . . 🙂
    I’ve had it used as a sign of solidarity among former UT students. I live in California, and have a UT Austin bumper sticker; I had someone flash me the horns at a stoplight the other day. We grinned like only two exiles from the South can do.
    I also thought it was funny that there was some flak on the internet a year or so ago because Bush flashed the sign at a parade when the UT band came through (his daughter is a Longhorn) and people thought it meant that he was giving the sign of the devil.

  25. Coincidentally (or perhaps not), that is also the hand sign used by the people from that other school down in Austin. (As user Allison seems to have already stated.)
    As a Fightin’ Texas Aggie, I must agree that this hand sign should be used sparingly… or not at all. Give me a thumbs up any day! Gig ’em!

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