i wanna rock

"What do you want to do with your life?!"

"I wanna rock."

Guitar_hero
Well, shit. I’ve gone and found another game that not only do I totally love, but gives me something else in common with one of my kids. Productivity is down 75,000 percent as a result.

Guitar Hero is the most fun I’ve ever had with a pretend guitar, and let me tell you something: I’ve spent a lot of time playing with pretend guitars, long before Journey make air instruments popular in the video for Separate Ways.

I saw it at IGN Live last year, and thought it was really fun, but I didn’t know if I really wanted to invest 65 or 70 bucks into the game, but when Ryan started talking about how he wanted it, too, we decided to split the cost so neither one of us would feel shafted if it wasn’t as fun as we hoped. Two weeks or so ago, we picked it up, and we haven’t stopped rocking.

The game is outrageously fun: you have a mini guitar controller (which you can outfit with stickers, including a totally rockin’ skull and some ass-kicking lightning bolts) that plugs into your PS2. There are five color-coded buttons on the fretboard, and a flippy lever thing on the body. You play along with the songs, DDR-style, by pushing the correct button (or combination of buttons) as the stream down the screen at you, while you strum along on the flippy lever thing. You get points and bonuses, including the totally rockin’ star power bonus, the more accurately you play.

You choose a character, and begin rocking out in some guy’s basement with songs like "I Wanna Be Sedated" and "I Love Rock & Roll," and work your way up to songs like "Bark at the Moon" in a stadium. Along the way, you can buy new guitars, new designs for your guitars, and unlockable characters. The only complaint I have is that you can’t buy hookers, blow, or tools to bury them when you’re done with them. But thankfully, I’ll always have GTA to fill that need.

There are different levels, and Ryan is much better than I am, completing all of Medium and the first level of Hard, while I’m still struggling to get past the second level of Medium. I’ve noticed that on the songs I know how to play in real life, I screw up the most, because my fingers get all excited and think I’m playing my bass for real (especially on Ziggy Stardust and Iron Man.)

Last night, Ryan and I were playing together (taking turns; we haven’t picked up a second guitar for what I understand is the greatest two-player game in the world), and we decided to take the game to a whole new level: in addition to the bonus points the game delivered, we gave each other style points based on how hard we rocked out (Chuck Berry-esque leg kicking and throwing the goat during extended wahh-wahh notes were both good moves.) We were both rocking pretty furiously and I took a huge lead, until Ryan went into his room, and came out a few minutes later with a necktie around his forehead, sunglasses, and a Hawaiian shirt open to the waist. He threw the goat and said, "I am ready to rock."

I immediately had to award him umptybillion points for that move, and Ryan took a nearly insurmountable lead. I tried to come back with some exrta rock of my own, but the best I could muster was, "Hey, get these bitches off the stage, man," when Ferris and Riley decided that our jumping and wailing was an invitation for them to come into the living room and play with us. I took away umptybillion points of my own, giving Ryan a two umptybillion point lead, which is just short of one brazillion.

Right around the time we were about to finish rocking, Nolan wanted to give it a try, so we set him up, and told him that he could finish the gig (did I mention how much more fun this game is when you play with people who aren’t afraid to be total dorks about it, and talk in a bad english accent and yell at the "audience" who are deep inside the TV?)

Nolan has only played once or twice, but he decided that he could jump right in on Medium (bad idea) and he picked Thunder Kiss 65 (worse idea – that’s a tough song to effectively learn on.)

He did pretty well, all things considered, until about halfway through the song. He missed some notes, and started to get frustrated. Ryan did the coolest thing, though: he said, very calmly, "Hey, Nolan, you’ve totally got this. Just relax and you’ll do great."

Nolan relaxed, and finished the song for a 3 star rating and 80% notes hit. That’s not bad for your third time playing, especially following in the shadow of your big brother who kicks ass at the game, and your stepfather who took the rocking out a little too seriously.

Last week, I said that I wanted to raise kids who are people I am "proud of, and I’d like to spend time with, even if we weren’t family:
honest, honorable, generous, compassionate, and responsible."

It would have been very easy for Ryan to be a dick to Nolan about it, or to tease him, or not say anything encouraging at all, but he chose to be kind and compassionate. He saw his younger brother struggling, and chose to help him through it.

Of all the rocking we did last night, that rocked the most.

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62 thoughts on “i wanna rock”

  1. It is uncanny. Whenever I’m frustrated by the daily dad thing; whenever I’m just exhausted, beaten, and feeling like maybe the single pop lifestyle just isn’t for me, you post something I refer to as an “amazing affirmation of fatherhood” and I feel recharged. I guess I’ll allow them to live one more day. My kids will one day thank you. Excellent story! 🙂
    On a down note, now we have to go buy this game, because it sounds like so much fun, and we all love to rock out to the radio already. It’s time to take it to another level!

  2. Ah, but Wil. You ARE a family. It may not be the old-fashioned traditional family — although nowadays it is much more so than when we were young — but what constitutes a family are people who care about one another, want the best for each other, and will stick by them no matter what. And in that, you totally rock!

  4. I’m glad you guys are having fun. 🙂 I have Guitar Hero as well and it is massively addictive! I totally screw up more on the songs I love too because I am just that into it. (That happens by the way mostly on Ziggy Stardust, Thunderkiss ’65, Take Me Out, Take It Off, I Love Rock N’ Roll, and Killer Queen.) My boyfriend’s poise is more like the humble, soulful folk singer as he sits on the edge of the bed with the guitar. I on the other hand stand up with the guitar low on my hip, swinging my head to the melodies and singing along in full rockstar goddess mode.
    Thank god, there are no pictures.
    Should you and the boys feel up to a challenge and went to break it down DJ style, you may want to check out Beatmania which just came out here in the states. My friends are bonkers for it. It uses a controller that looks like a little turntable. You can get the game and nifty controller for $60-65. This is a game that definitely takes skill and practice! I utterly suck at it, as do most of my friends except for one of them who is like a Jedi Master of the turntables.

  5. into this house we’re born

    It is absolutely pouring rain here in Pasadena, which would really be fucking with my head if I wasn’t a weather nerd who obsessively checked the Weather Underground at least twice a day, just so I know what’s going on….

  6. Ha, Wil! That “a flippy lever thing on the body” comment was exactly something my wife would say. Technically, it’s a tremolo bar and real guitars have them too. Silly wabbit 🙂

  7. Heh. I know what a tremolo bar is, tony. I was referring to the flippy thing that you strum, where the pickups would normally be on a real guitar.

  8. Your step-kids totally rock, especially when you consider they have such a geek for a parental figure. Er, don’t tell Anne that I called her a geek. Of course I’m kidding, but seriously, how did King Geek end up with a righteous babe like Anne for a wife, plus rockin kids to boot? Karma, right?

  9. ah! good to hear it. i figured you did, but if really hadn’t i was afraid i was going to have to re-evaluate your ‘music is an intimate part of my life’ comments =)

  10. sumo: it’s karma alright. if you had to go to work everyday and wear that awful silver-purple spacesuit, you’d earn some massive karma points too.

  11. Journey…good times, good times.
    Some friends of mine got the game and they broke the guitar like in a week. They were rockin’ hard!
    Parenting sucks until you have kids.

  12. Great post, Wil. I’ve got a 3 yr. old daughter. [She AMAZING!] and three nephews. I hope all can be raised to be cool to their siblings/cousins like Ryan was to Nolan. How he encouraged Nolan… THAT was amazing, too!

  13. I’m all V’klempt!! How cool, that game looks hella fun! You’ve done a good job Daddy Wheaton!! Keep passin’ along that good stuff to those boys!!
    J

  14. Now… you play bass? Awesome.
    I just fart around on guitar [and bass], but at age 37, I finally joined a garage band last summer.
    We need a bass player, so that I can be the much needed 2nd [lead] guitarist.
    Wanna let out your inner rock star twice a week? I live in Monterey Park and we practice near Cal State Long Beach. It’s just three guys in our 30’s have fun.
    [Oh, not like you could ever remember, but I’m the guy that was way late to ALL your local JAG readings.]

  15. My boyfriend and I bought that game a few weeks ago and it does, in fact, rock. My boyfriend has been known to put his foot up on the amp (ottoman) and throw up the horns to his audience (the cats).
    That’s very cool about Nolan and Ryan. I love reading about your family! 🙂

  16. Clearly, I must go buy this game for my husband, so that he and our two year old daughter can bring the rock.
    Sounds like you’re a kickass dad, Wil.

  17. I want to squee along with because it’s such a riot to play video games like that with with my kids but I confess that I hope that you have better luck than I’ve had with anything by Red Octane.
    4 DDR pads later, I confess I won’t buy a thing they slap their name on again…even for the temptation of jumping off the coffee table.

  18. Ryan did the coolest thing, though: he said, very calmly, “Hey, Nolan, you’ve totally got this. Just relax and you’ll do great.”
    I could be wrong, Wil, but to me this sounds like something Ryan picked up from you. I seem to remember a very similar phrasing from an anecdote in one of your books.
    I have no doubt, from all you say, that they’re great kids.

  22. “Last week, I said that I wanted to raise kids who are people I am ‘proud of, and I’d like to spend time with, even if we weren’t family … .'”
    Oh, take my word for it: you’re family. You’re a family of unabashed geeks, but family is family.
    Thanks for the megabelly laughs; best workout I’ve had all week.

  23. Wil, Wil, Wil…
    Go to Musicians Friend Online or one of the Guitar Centers in L.A. and pick up a cheap Fender, with chaeap Amp and then pay a Tech to put a set of *8’s* on it, Tweak the String Height, and go home with a Chord Book and mess around…
    When you figure out you maybe can’t play or not, take a few lessons…
    If nothing else give it to the Boys and let them have a go at it…
    Cheers my friend

  24. I’m with Badblood above. When you wrote:
    we decided to take the game to a whole new level
    I thought you were going on to say, ” – we turned it up to 11.”
    And, as Keith L. Dick says, also above, maybe consider buying a real axe? Maybe even just with a headset amp.

  25. magdala: I think there’s an extra stress on “weren’t” in that sentence, meaning that he does claim them as family– but that his goal was to raise kids that he would still want to know even if he were to meet them in other circumstances, with no relationship legal or otherwise.
    That Wil *does* get to enjoy that relationship is extra cool, and the anecdotes make it clear that he’s an (h)awesome dad.

  27. This just in from E3 ;0
    It looks like its called a durable strum bar
    LOL
    * A responsive and durable strum bar. * Working analog whammy bar. * Tilt Sensors that can tell when the guitar is pointed straight up. * An adjustable strap. * Stylized Start and Select buttons that look like volume knobs off an actual guitar.

  28. You’ve reminded me to treat my family well. I’ll be extra nice to my little sister tonight. Thanks to you and Ryan for reminding me to show more love + respect towards my family.It really does achieve a lot for us.

  29. Guitar Hero *IS* the best game I have ever played! Everyone I know that has ever picked up the guitar has rocked out HARD. Once you lose that fear of being seen acting like a complete and total dork, you will have more fun that you thought possible. I’m from Boston and all the venues in the game are analogous to real Boston area venues. I’ve been to parties at and almost lived in *that* house on Winship street. My friend Joe works at Harmonix and I’ve been annoying/begging him to push the idea of a FLYING V CONTROLLER. You *know* you need that! They’ve announced Guitar Hero II and there are going to be four more guitar hero games released between now and 2007.
    Just goes to show you really can’t stop the rock!

  30. That was so AWESOME of Ryan to say that to Nolan.. Now not only does NOLAN ROCK.. SO DOES RYAN!! 🙂 I just hope someday I can raise a son who is kind and considerate like that, even when I get frustrated on the days when he is a total little devil. I love the Karaoke Party games.. and Now thanks to you wil .. I MUST GET THIS GAME 😀 So me and my son can start rocking out too 🙂

  31. khereva,
    I apologize for the misunderstanding. I, too, was applauding Wil’s connection with his children and the fact that he is raising good (albeit geeky) people. It was never my intention to suggest otherwise. In my own, (obviously backhanded and obtuse) way, I was trying to reassure him that, biology notwithstanding, he has indeed created a family; “family,” in this instance, meaning people with whom one feels a lifelong connection. I’m reminded of a definition of “home” I once read: “home” is the place you go to because they have to take you in when you have no where else to go. Family is like that as well; these are the people who stand by you when no one else will because for your family, no other option exists.
    So I think we agree on this point; I just didn’t manage to get that across in my posting. Sorry about that; I reckon I need to work on my clarity.

  32. Sounds like an awesome game that my hubby and kids would totally enjoy. Now, if we only had a PS2. *lol*
    You should totally be proud of your boys.

  34. Hey Wil, you might want to somehow disable your old blog. That guy in Oklahoma who killed the 10yr old girl has a link to your old blog on HIS blog. Just thought I’d send you a heads up, just in case you dont want to be associated with that guy…

  35. Dude, it is posts like this that keep me coming back to your blog. I love hearing about you and your kids, and yes, I am calling them YOUR kids — you’ve earned it. They are lucky to have you. You won the lottery to be able to experience them in your life. I’m a father of two boys (5 and 1), and I can only hope that I’ll be as present, playful and perceptive as you are right now with your boys.

  37. You dont have to have contributed tadpoles to be their Dad you know, Wil. You contribute to Ryan and Nolan’s lives in ways that they and you probably wont get the true benefits of for many years. When they, themselves, are awesome fathers, they will have you to thank for that.
    Now I have to go and see if this game is available in Australia. My husband is SO UNCOOL insofar as he thinks I am a dork when I air guitar to ACDC and sing along to iTunes – invariably the daggier the song, the louder I sing. He thinks I am a complete bogan.
    If I have this game, I can be a BOGAN and be PROUD!!
    (BTW, in case you dont know what a bogan is, its a long haired, bad teeth guy from a dodgy suburb who has a well worn Metallica t-shirt….you know the ones I mean….. it’s an Aussie slang word. And if you DID know….apologies!)

  38. I think it’s great that you and the kids are so great together. There isn’t many families like yours that has had it quite so good. Oh yeah Happy Easter Wil and family. A big hug to you all. I hope your Easter is great.

  39. Thanks for the heads up, this sounds like a game i’ll be picking up and playing. It’s cool the elder kid didn’t mock the younger one. I sti;; play a whole load of games with my friend and we still gloat (even at 23) though sometimes I try and give him tips or if I feel i’ve done a bit too well I’ll thorw him a few olive branches and then find myself losing. But it’s all about fun.

  40. Hola Wil, this is Molly, Pauly’s friend. Been checkin out your site lately, good stuff. Saw you on Child Stars of the 80s yesterday. Just wanted to say hi.

  41. Wil – There are two quotes about being a parent that I think really apply to you. One is “Anyone can be a father….but it takes someone special to be a dad”. You have gone the extra mile to reach out to your sons and all the efforts have manifested into a genuinely awesome relationship. The other quote is “The greatest gift a dad can give to his children is to love their mother”. You’ve got it made.
    A very happy Easter to you and your entire family. God Bless you always.

  42. I want to play, Wil, I want to play!!!!
    Seriously, though. Sounds absolutely awesome, especially that bit with Ryan in the Hawaiian shirt. I always thought that game looked cool, and it’s great that not only can you rock out and have fun, but you’re doing it with your kids. Gives me warm fuzzies. =D
    Oh, and by the way: IRON. MAN. Rocks. *does very bad air guitar* Hope you had a cool Easter, by the way.

  43. Glad to see you’ve discovered Guitar Hero. A friend of mine introduced it to me a few months ago and I still think about playing it more (no PS2). Excellent game.

  44. Hey Wil –
    Myself, and three other guys who are also around 29 spend many many hours on NewYears eve playing this game for the first time.
    Nothing like just a bunch of band geeks to bring the funk

  45. Okay, I had the biggest, most goofy smile on my face while reading that post. A coworker walked by my cube and I heard her giggling as she walked away.
    Thanks, Wil, this story was really great.

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