A week before I wrote about our plans to do the San Diego Rock-n-Roll marathon in June, I seriously tweaked my neck. I’d like to thank Hwy. 18 and all the snow that kept us on said highway for seven hours instead of an hour and a half like it should have been. I was with two girlfriends, both of whom were scared to death to be driving in the snow while I sat in the back seat, appearing calm, but leaning to the center of the seat to look out the front window of doom, all the while clenching my teeth. Thus, tweaked neck. [Note from Wil: The next time I beg Anne not to go up into the mountains during one of the worst storms in a decade, because "it’s just a really bad idea," there’s a 20% chance she’ll listen to me.]
Before this weekend of white dusted hell, we were well into our training, and very excited to start our fundraising. As I sat writing about it (pumped full of every pain medication I could find and a heat pack around my neck,) I figured I would be up and running in no time and going full speed ahead with big plans of dashing through 26.2 miles with ease. Boy was I wrong!
My neck continued to get worse. All I could do was lay down. I missed almost three weeks of work, and I got so freaked out by the pain I made Wil take me to an orthopedist to get an MRI, because when one of your friends has cancer, suddenly every minor ache or pain you get could be cancer, too. He said it was just a really bad muscle spasm and had me start physical therapy immediately. I did this for a couple of weeks, and of course being the over-doing it person I am, I went back to work as soon as it felt better, only to tweak it more and end up in physical therapy again. [Note from Wil: The next time I say, "Hey, you really shouldn’t push it, honey, and give yourself a little bit more time to heal," there is a 25% chance Anne will listen to me.]
Fast forward to five weeks later and it’s back to the marathon training drawing board. Instead of looking at doing ten miles on the weekend, we’re struggling to run two miles without stopping. How are we going to do the whole 26.2 miles when it’s just six weeks away? Um, I’m thinking that’s not a good idea. Let’s be realistic.
I had dinner with Kris in between one of those "I’m feeling better" moments. The first thing she said was "How are you going to run that whole marathon?" Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. So I came up with a solution: a half marathon was definitely do-able. And making our fundraising goal a little more within reach would make us all not freak out about this whole thing. So that’s what we’re going to do. Our fundraising goal has been pulled back to $10,000, so we’re already halfway there, and our distance goal has been cut in half, to a more realistic 13.1 miles.
As for Kris’ progress, she’s doing great! Her biopsy came back clean, and though it is six months to two years before she will know if the transplant was a success, she is at home and back on her feet. In fact, she recently went on a road trip with her son to look at colleges. It’s so wonderful that not only is her dream of seeing her son graduate going to happen, but she will get to see him go to college next year.
Also, her husband is finally doing the addition they’ve talked about doing for the 15 years they’ve lived in their house, which is another thing to look forward to. And her huge family reunion she looks forward to every other year is in Lake Tahoe in June. She’s so excited to see them. Her treatment was definitely worth going through again. And, honestly, it was worth it from my selfish point of view, too. I didn’t want to lose my friend, so I’m so happy she fought back and won.
Although Wil and I had every intention of doing this full marathon again, sometimes things just happen. And in my 36 years here, I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad. But we just do the best we can. [Note from Wil: Life is what happens while you’re making other plans, in other words.]
So if you would like to contribute to our fundraising efforts, you can do it here. Even if it’s just five dollars, or whatever change you can collect from around your car or your couch it really matters; so many people read Wil’s blog, tiny individual contributions rapidly turn into enormous and significant totals.
Note from Wil: I sincerely hope that our choice to switch to a half-marathon doesn’t let down anyone who already sponsored us. We’re doing the very best we can under some really stressful circumstances that I can’t publicly talk about, and it looks like we’re going to end up walking most of the (half)marathon in June. To me, it feels like a major defeat and I’m disappointed that we aren’t going to be able to do the whole thing, but this isn’t really about me and Anne; this is about Kris and her family and everyone who has somehow been affected by cancer. Thank you all so much for your support, whether it’s sponsorship, kind comments, or just a positive thought while you’re walking your dog.
The original "Comments from the Wife" posts are: 3.0, 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, 3.4, 3.5, 3.6, 4.0. You may also want to read the first Comments from the Wife: in Exile.
Hey Wil,
I don’t know about others but my perspective is that you and Anne are no good to Kris or your kids or even to anyone sponsoring you in the marathon unless you are taking care of yourselves.
Sometimes that means being a little “selfish” and saying “Hey, these are my limitations.”
Best of wishes to both of you and to Kris for continued health.
Anne: I’m so sorry that you hurt your neck on that freak snow day. That must have been bad if you needed all that PT. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
Anne and Wil: Don’t stress out about this. I think it’s great that despite all that’s going on in your lives, you are still committed to participating as best you can. Stuff happens. Take care of yourselves.
Anne and Wil, just like K2 above said, the most important thing is to take care of yourselves and not strain yourselves in your altruistic endeavors.
That said, keep up your training, remember to stretch, and do your best in the marathon. I’ve made my (very) humble contribution to your team and I won’t be disappointed as long as you make an honest effort.
Jeeezz..you *hope* no one is upset that you have to only do 13 miles instead of 26?!?!?!?…snap out of it, you guys…remember WHY you are doing this…the fact that you go one mile should be enough for those who sponsor you…it’s not about you or how far you walk, it’s about awareness and fundraising…Please, go easy on yourself. If you kill yourself in training, you won’t even make the 13 mile marker. Lighten up on yourselves, k? 🙂 You’re good people and you’re doing a good thing.
Anyone who’s been reading your blog for any time at all knows that neither of you are the type to wimp out on anything important. If you need to cut back to a “mere” 13.1 miles, we all know you have good reason.
You are doing what you can, and that’s more than most people I think. That you are doing it at all under stressful circumstances says a lot about your commitment. Enjoy the walk, it will be quality time together.
Anne and Wil, I can just about guarantee you that you are more disappointed about not going the full distance than anyone reading this. It’s great to set goals, but don’t beat yourselves up because circumstances cause you to adjust them. If all you did was walk across the street to support this cause, that would be just as important. I made my donation shortly after the announcement, and I’m not about to take back half of it now. Take care of yourselves and each other, and we’ll be cheering you on.
I’m sorry to hear about the circumstances, and I don’t see why anyone would be disappointed in you, at all! You’re doing a HALF MARATHON! (And here I was, all proud of myself for doing a 5K! (; )
I think you two are doing a wonderful thing, and I wish you the best of luck!
Full marathon – Half marathon – run it – walk it.
Who cares!
Go out there – raise some cash and lets get things fixed.
It’s so good to see a public figure, and you are still a VERY public figure, doing things like this.
I wish there were more people like you and Anne and indeed more people like Kris who are doing everything they can to fight cancer in any way they can.
You keep writing and running and we will keep reading and sponsering.
If I had a goat, I’d be throwing it at you right now. 🙂
Anne & Wil… you guys rock. Seriously. You don’t even have to do the event. Just the fundraising, with your dear friend in your hearts and minds… that’s what matters.
Paul Howard… your last line of text was the funniest thing I’ve read in quite some time. Seriously Brilliant!!!
Hi Wil,
I am a big fan of Dr Pauly and found your blog thru him about a year ago. My girlfrind has always been a big fan and now I am too.
I am happy to be able to let you know I have donated to the cause and having run ony one full marathon i can assure you a half marathon is more than a small feat.
Thanks for all the enjoyable stories and insights into your (and your famlies) life.
I haven’t made my donation yet, but I will. The distance doesn’t matter, nor is walking (part/all) of it. That’s not the point.
I don’t know if it’s a famous quote or anything, but I very firmly feel that to be generous, you must know how much you can give, which means taking care of yourself too. Killing yourselves preparing for an artificial goal doesn’t help anybody.
Good luck, and can’t wait to hear about it!
Craig Steffen
[Note from Dark: When Anne sees the contents of Wil’s notes, there’s a 95% chance he will become intimately familiar with his sofa for at least a week.]
The fact that Anne could suffer through what was obviously a VERY tweaked neck and still continue with this at all shows how committed the both of you are to this cause. There are a lot of people who would say, “You know, this isn’t a good time for us, so we’ll do the marathon next year” and quit altogether – please give yourselves a pat on the back for sticking it out to the extent that you are!
I’m sorry to hear that things are stressful for you now – for whatever reason – and hope that such a generous act doesn’t cause you even more stress.
Take care of yourselves and know that you definitely have the support of all of your fans here on WWdN:iE.
That said, I’m going to make my donation now!
I know people always say strech before exercising but I always think a little bit of of a pre-strech workout is more beneficial to work up the body. Just think of it like an elastic band removed from a freezer (why you’d keep them in a freezer is beyond me) but it’s hypothetical, trying to stretch it at that point would make it break.
It’s cool news about your friend, I only found my way here 2 days ago but it didn’t stop me reading every little tidbit I could get my beady little eyes around, what you are doing is very selfless and it’s being done through choice.
Kudos to you, Wil and everyone taking part
If it allows me to make a donation I will, failing that I will make monthly contributions to the cancer research (UK) charity.
I donated before, and I just wanted to say that whether you do a full marathon or a half, or sit home and eat Cheetos, I’m still glad I donated. The money’s going to a good cause, and that’s all that matters.
I’ve done four marathons, and I know how hard it is. I wouldn’t like to see either of you injure yourselves by trying to do too much. Take care of yourselves and enjoy your day!
I was only too happy to donate to such a cause and in no way am I disappointed with you and Anne’s decision. Your health and well being is just as important. Wil, you’re being much too hard yourself. If only more people like you and Anne were in it, it would be a better place.
I’m happy to hear Kris is doing well and life is as preciously normal as possible for her.
I sincerely hope Anne feels better soon. And you Mr. Wheaton, take care of yourself too! Whatever this funk is that’s making life more daunting then usual, I hope it fades soon and don’t let life plant its doc martens in your backside. 🙂
It’s a beautiful day today here on the east coast for me so I can only wish the same for you and your family.
Hey Wil & Anne,
Long time reader but first time commenter. Don’t feel bad about only being able to do half the marathon (I don’t believe you guys are the type just cop out on something like this without good reasons). There are plenty of able-bodied people out the who do nothing to help others when they are in need. I think you guys are great and I love reading all of the stories. Anne, I hope you feel better soon and don’t try and over-do-it. Good luck!
Emily
I think it’s awesome you are doing 1/2 marathon. I couldn’t even do that much. And I don’t regret having contributed.
Good luck!
Disapointed?? I think not!! You both inspire me. Your selfless devotion to your friend, and the cause, despite your personal challenges, is so commendable. It doesn’t matter to me whether you participate in the marathon or not – I don’t regret contributing. This is for your friend, not the exercise. Be well.
It’s awesome to hear that Kris is doing good. I pray for her frequently. What does it mean that she has to wait up to 2 yrs to see if the transplant took? Wouldn’t they know after 1? Or if her body doesn’t immediately reject it? I guess I’m not understanding. What’s the process? When will we know if she’s cancer free for good?
Anne – It warmed my heart to hear Kris is doing better! I feel for you on the neck pain.. I currently am having severe left hip joint and leg pain.. and it is making it very hard to walk.. No one who reads this blog is disappointed at all. You and Wil do what most of us can’t even do.
That’s why we sponsor and we are all so proud of you and Wil.. When you guys are doing the half marathon.. Know we are all right beside you guys.
Bless you all.
Guys, don’t even worry about it. The money I plan to donate has nothing to do with how far you go, or whether you walk or run or what. If you walked 10 steps and collapsed in fatty-fatty-bo-batty exhaustion, I’d still consider the money to be going to a good place. And are you planning on allowing paypal donations again? I’d rather go through Paypal than with my credit card, but if you’re only doing credit cards then that’ll have to do.
Anne & Wil,
Don’t think of running a half marathon as letting anybody down. What the both of you are doing is a great thing, and it’s for a great cause. I am so glad to hear that Kris is doing much better and is getting the chance to do all of the things that until a few months ago hung in an air of uncertainty. I’m so glad to hear that she fought back and won!
Anne, I suffered a permanent back injury a few years back, so I know how tough it is to go through Physical Therapy. Just when you think you’ve made enough progress to start being able to do the things that you were able to do before your injury, you’re more than likely going to be humbled by a setback or two every once and again. Take care of that neck, honey, and I hope that you don’t overdo it!!
Wil, is it absolutely necessary for you to add your 2 cents worth of ball-busting in while your wife is trying to explain her reasons for cutting back on her training for the marathon? The last I heard, you were too busy playing poker to really get into seriously training for it with her, anyway 😛
And I agree with everyone else who said that I don’t feel as if the little bit of money that I could afford to donate is being wasted, even if the two of you didn’t participate in even a half marathon. It’s for a great cause, and Kris’ story really touched me. So for what it’s worth, just bringing her story to our attention was incentive enough.
I hope that with every day she feels better and better, and I also hope that you don’t keep reinjuring yourself, Anne. Take it easy on yourself, and make sure that ball-busting husband of yours realizes that if you can train for this even being in as much pain as you’ve been in, then he can do it, too!
You guys are the most hawesome friends, ever!
Anne & Wil,
You two are amazing for even doing this at all, so I for one don’t regret donating. I walk the 12K Philly AIDS Walk every October and that’s hard enough for me; I can’t imagine running/walking a half marathon, let alone a complete marathon.
Hang in there and good luck. I’m sending you good mojo!
when one of your friends has cancer, suddenly every minor ache or pain you get could be cancer, too.
oh HELL yes.
glad your friend is progressing well.
the thing about cancer treatment statistics is that they are all — BY DEFINITION — more pessimistic than reality. because those statistics are based on people who were treated in the past. whereas your friend is being treated in the present.
5 year survivability stats? yeah, those are based on people who were treated FIVE YEARS AGO. my god, at the rate of medical technological change, that’s like stone knives and bearskins.
Good luck and however far you go at whatever pace I’ll be rooting for you.
I’m glad you’re friend is doing so well.
I would never regret my donation to so worthy a cause. And you two do me proud.
The day I run thirteen miles is the day I can get sniffy with your for choosing to “only” run that far! 😉
Good luck to both of you, and best wishes to Kris.
Personally, I’m just proud of you guys that, after all that therapy and stuff, you’re still willing to go through with this for the sake of your friend and all the cancer victims, etc. It’s a wonderful cause and I wish both you all (especially Kris) the very best. =)
So I’ve been stalking this blog for months now. I’ve wanted to comment numerous times, but didn’t because I didn’t want to sign up for an account, but this post capped it.
Tweaked neck? GO TO A CHIROPRACTOR!
I would donate my services in honor of Kris and your awesome goals, but I’m in Wisconsin. So unless you’re willing to fly out (or better…fly me in) that’s not going to work.
But please Anne, for the love of your neck and your (1/2) marathon, go see a chiropractor for that neck. NOW!
Wil, I don’t know if you remember, but when I read your blog and decided to do a half-marathon two years ago, you gave me some advice on it. It’s still hard work. And honestly, it doesn’t matter if it’s 1.3 miles or 13.1 or 26.2, it’s the thought that counts. It’s that you are awesome friends doing this for Kris and raising TONS of moolah for cancer research.
I am going to scrape up some money and donate as soon as I can. It’s the least I can do, especially since I think I’m sitting this year out.
God bless you both. I am glad to hear Kris is doing well. Everyone is still in my prayers.
Anne, this is what I know about Team in Training. No matter how much training, no matter how much fundraising now matter how much of the event you can finish, every second of the process is worth every ounce of the resulting pain.
Two years ago I joined a team headed for the century ride at Lake Tahoe. I was overweight, overstressed and overdramatic. My coach was awesome, my team was awesomer and our Leukemia & Lymphoma Society coordinator was HAWESOME! I complained at every team ride, I was a giant pain in the ass and I held everyone up on team rides. But they stuck by me, the coordinator even loaned me her own bike to train on until my eBay bike was shipped.
I doubted every day that I would be able to make the ride, but somehow one day there was this turning point and I just felt good and I knew it was all going to work out. Two rides later, and only about 20 days before the BIG ride, I fell OFF my bike going downhill about 50 mph(obey gravity, it’s the law!) and broke my elbow in places I had no idea bones even existed. One super-fun surgery and about half a pound of hardware later, I was crying in my beer about how I was going to fulfill my obligation. The simple fact of the matter was that I would not even be able to get back on a bike for several more months. But you know, I signed that commitment form and I promised to raise that money. My nonrefundable tickets for Tahoe were already paid for and by gosh my team needed a cheerleader. So I went with my arm in a splint and orders for QID physical therapy.
The people I met, the survivors who spoke, the kids whose parents tried so valiantly to express their gratitude to the fundraisers in the room — well the whole thing just changed my life. I started the trip feeling a little sorry for myself. I was looking at the possibility of losing from 10 to 30 percent range of motion in my right arm permanently. But I came home knowing that I would do whatever it takes to recover so I could continue raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
So, I totally get how you’re feeling here Anne, I really do. But, I’d like for you to stop and consider how many people you’re reaching here and how many people who are inspired to try Team in Training because of how “cool” you and Wil make it sound. I’ll venture to guess, oh I don’t know, LOTS. And each one of those people will likely go on to inspire a few more people.
And, for the record, I only had about 25% of my fundraising done before the wreck. 75% of my donations came in after people found out I couldn’t ride. Pity? Maybe, but my best theory is that most of my friends are my age and realize that it could just as easily have been them in the splint, but they couldn’t imagine themselves on the bike in a million years! So just keep on fundraising even if it looks like bed rest to cure your neck. There will be other marathons for you to run.
So, listen take care of your neck for crying out loud. And I can’t agree more with ArmadilloBoy — get thee to a Chiropractor!
Funny how occasionally, one can paint themselves into a corner like this. You both are loyal and committed to your friend Kris. And because of that, you feel responsible for not fulfilling a “promise”. And that is really a beautiful thing because it shows the underlying character you both possess and the love you have for your friend. But it also flogs you because of your committment. Time will heal those wounds and you will be left with just the love and friendship you have for Kris. Revel in your sadness and put it in perspective because it reaffirms that you are good people who care. And that is truly an accomplishment!