It’s been painful, joyful,
scary, and wonderful that Ryan’s away at school, out of our house, and
in a place — physically and emotionally — where I can’t protect him.
I have to hope that I did my job as a parent, and when he makes
mistakes, they result in skinned knees and not broken bones. Some days are easier than others.
To say that it’s been a challenge to let go would be a massive
understatement, and I’m struggling with it even more than Anne is,
disproving once and for all the notion that biology is stronger than,
uh, not biology.
Though he’s really, really far away, and he’s got his new friends and
is taking his first uncertain steps into his adult life, it’s been
pretty easy to stay in close contact with him, thanks to instant
messaging, e-mail, and sending photos and text messages through our
cellphones.
I can add "playing Halo 3" to the list of ways we’ve been able to keep in touch with each other.
I was sitting in my new office (formerly known as Ryan’s bedroom)
finishing up some work last night, when Nolan called out from the living room,
"Hey Wil, Ryan wants to talk to you!"
I walked out, and saw that he wasn’t on the phone, but was playing a
private Halo 3 game with Ryan, who was connected from his friend’s dorm
at school. I grabbed the headset from Nolan, and talked with Ryan while
they played.
"So how is everything?" I said. It’s nobody’s business, but suffice to say he recently skinned his knees.
"Better," he said.
"I’m glad to hear it," I said.
"Oh shit!" He said, as Nolan beat him down.
I laughed. "I saw him sneaking up on you, but didn’t think it was fair to affect the outcome of the game."
"Oh," Ryan said, a smile in his voice, "I see how it is."
We talked for a few more minutes, our conversation regularly
interrupted when one of them scored a particularly awesome kill on the
other.
"Well," Ryan finally said, "I hate to say it, but Nolan is clearly better at this than me."
I relayed this confession to Nolan.
"YES!" He said.
"Okay," I said to Ryan, "I have to go back to work, so I’ll talk to you
soon. I love you, and look out because Nolan is going to kill you . . .
now."
Nolan’s rocket exploded at Ryan’s feet, launching him into a beautiful ragdoll tumble off the edge of the map.
"Dammit!" Ryan said. "Okay, I love you too and I’ll talk to you later."
I gave Nolan the headset, and headed back toward my office. I paused in
the doorway, and looked back. Though they were separated by a terrible
distance, I felt the pride a parent feels when he sees his kids drop
the sibling rivalry long enough to have fun together.
I may not have a jet pack, or a flying car, but I still think this future is pretty cool.
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Very cool. Ya gotta love technology. Once again, you set the bar veddy veddy high.
When I was in the Peace Corps our only communication home was through letters or expensive phone calls. Just eight short years later, volunteers to that country now have cell phones and laptops. They keep blogs and family and friends can call them. Technology has made their experience very different from mine, or any in the past. It’s amazing to see the changes in such a short time.
It is so wonderful to see what a loving relationship you have with your kids, it really makes my days to see what wonderful people are scattered across the globe. And that is all thanks to technology as well. I am sure most days would be much darker without the glimpses of hope and light one recieves from far away places every day.
“…the pride a parent feels when he sees his kids drop the sibling rivalry long enough to have fun together.”
I swear my heart grows bigger whenever I see my kids playing nicely together. They’re still little (6 & 4) so I get to see them play games like “Let’s pretend to be lost kittens.” I mean, really. Does it get any more adorable than that?
Imagine just a few years ago when the only way you would have been able to communicate was over a land-line, and just once or twice a month because the long-distance charges were so horrendous… or, there was always snail-mail, I suppose… Technology is so cool!
I hear this. When I was in college my parents used to flip out when my instant messenger wasn’t turned on. They still do, even when its turned on when I’m at work and shouldn’t be online. They used to freak when I wouldn’t leave a away message up that wasn’t saying what I was doing like I was in class or at some party. (For a while there, I would purposely put up ambiguous away messages; such as quotes and the like, because I didn’t like the idea of people knowing EXACTLY what I’m doing in that moment).
That made me laugh out loud in a good kind of way 🙂 I kind of feel the same in reverse being so far away from my mom even though I’m long past the knee skinning phase, it would be nice to see her more often than once every year or so.. 🙂 Glad you have the halo3 connection ^^
“It’s nobody’s business, but suffice to say he recently skinned his knees.”
Nice turn of phrase, Wil, and I’m glad to hear the update was better.
“Let’s pretend to be lost kittens.” I mean, really. Does it get any more adorable than that?
No, Sally! That is 100% certified adorable. 🙂
Hey Wil,
I live in Switzerland and my oldest son just started at the University of Michigan. He and my two daughters (ages 15 and 11) have been doing group runs on WoW together since the end of August. I can totally relate to your feelings about seeing your sons stay in touch via a game.
As I tell my wife all the time: I love living in the future.
That’s awesome Wil. My boy is only 2 and his brother is yet to be born, but I sure hope we get some good gaming in together as they grow up.
Your boys seem to have not only a good relationship with you, but with each other as well.
I admit to being a tiny bit disappointed when we found out our next is another boy, but the more I thought about it, the more I think it’ll be alright.
That’s totally awesome!i hope my boys do that when they get older. right now, the wife clear the approval for a Wii, so that’s a start.
Heh… I just did that for the first time a few days ago. I saw that a friend was online, and we coordinated when we could hook up for some Team Fortress 2 (A huge kick in the pants, I might add). I found myself pacing about the living room with the controller, exactly as if I was talking to him on the phone.
Ha! Ha! Take that Jack Thompson!
My step daughter turned 13 last month and the pod people took over so I can’t express how wonderful it feels to hear that they do, eventually, hatch out of the pods.
Soem friends of mine and I have been playing Halo 2 every Wednesday night for a long time. I recently moved a few thousand miles away from them, but still, with the magic of Xbox Live and the Intertubes, we still play every Wednesday, just like clockwork. (Of course, it’s Halo 3 now.)
I moved to Chicago 5 years ago. Online gaming is the single greatest method for me to keep in touch with friends.
One response, two subjects…
Response: That’s so cool and hawesome!!
Subjects: 1. This post about geekily keeping in contact with your kids and 2. your Twitter post about your acting job!! Costume fitting FT Farking W! Details? Please?
Cheers!!
I laughed. “I saw him sneaking up on you, but didn’t think it was fair to affect the outcome of the game.”
That damn Prime Directive keeps getting in your way.
College is all about learning that when you skin your knee, it could have been so, so much worse, and you are in fact thankful that it’s only a skinned knee.
I laughed because I really love Halo and then teared up because you and your kids are awesome.
So sweet. I do just love technology! It makes us all seem so much closer.
Count ours as another family that stays in touch via WoW. My sister lives about four hours away (not as far as Switzerland, but still …) and my husband, our 8 year old and I play WoW with her regularly. Our guild is made up of similar family units who know each other in real life but are spread across the country.
It amazes me that your family is so loving and functional while mine is so dysfunctional and segregated. I really enjoy reading about how happy you and your family are because it allows me to believe that despite my horrible family, I’m still young and single and can still have what you have with MY future family. Thanks for the light.
Lovely story, but man…Halo 3 is the video game equivalent of listening to Britney Spears while eating McDonald’s and watching Survivor. Such uninspired, uninteresting dreck. Blech…
Gimme TF2 or R6:V or PONG any day over Halo 3.
About 4 months ago, I got married and thus moved out of my family’s house. That left my now 18 year old brother alone and it was hard on the both of us. There maybe a 8-9 year difference in our ages but, it doesn’t seem to matter. He’s not just my brother; he’s one of my best friends,an evil cohort, and my true gaming buddy. =)
Nowadays, we talk all the time while we play WoW together due to the modern miracle of voice chat.
It’s gotten easier to accept I’ve grown up and that we do not need to be under the same roof to be the dynamic duo. We’ll always be the tag team o’ mischief.
I need to try Halo 3 out. Hm.
Hee. My sister and I are old school. We play EverQuest. *G* We’re in our 30s (BARELY) and we’re probably better friends now than ever.
Ryan is lucky to have technologically capable parents. I’m still trying to explain the finer points of email to my mother… don’t even get me started on Skype.
Awww… When I went to California a few years ago, I was worried about missing my boyfriend of the time, because, well, 3 weeks with no talking is a long time when you see someone every day, all the time.
And then I realized I could just MSN cal him and chat using my headset.
It was awesome.
Sweet…Acting gig = Hawesome, well adjusted college boy = Hawesome, and receiving, reading and loving THDooL today = the most hawesomest of all.
Once the NDA (if there is one) wears off, you gotta give us the skinny on your new role.
Like I mentioned earlier, Mom and I IMed nightly…and she figured out quick that my actual away message didnt reflect where I was(Children left unattended will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy, anyone?). We also played cards a lot. Unfortunatley, Im the only thing resembling a gamer in my family.
On an unrelated topic…I got the Star Trek Magna (you know, the one you mentioned Comic Bug still had a few of?) today! Im stoked! It looks wonderful!
Very cool story, Wil. I had twins that went off to two different colleges at the same time so I can sooo identify with your feelings. Biology or not, those boys are your sons.
A bucket full of awesome!
Great story, I love reading about you all love each other.
OT: just finished “The Geek” (heh) and loved it! Waiting for “Dancing Barefoot”. And I hope “Happiest Days” will be available here in Old Germany soon.
Bests from over the ocean,
Nicole aka Louffi
I’m buying a “how”… *tz*
Yet another *sigh*. It’s entries like this that keep me coming back. It’s good to know that there are still “good family moments” in the world today.
Great to hear you’re keeping in touch (and that the brothers are still getting along great), but…
…I’m still disappointed at the dearth of flying cars! ;P
That’s awesome. You and Anne have a couple of great kids.
I really like this style of writing, kind of breezy and with an extra topping of metaphor sprinkles.
“Okay,” I said to Ryan, “I have to go back to work, so I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, and look out because Nolan is going to kill you . . . now.”
I believe Oscar Wilde put it best when he said “I ROFLed!”
That’s awesome, Wil! You did a good job with those kids!
I love the blogs when you’re talking about your kids. They seem pretty amazing, and a lot of that amazingness is because of you and your love for them.
I like what you said about biology vs not biology. I have been the second parent to my 4 godchildren and I have helped raise them since birth. As far as I’m concerned, they are my children and I couldn’t possibly love them more even if they were biologically mine. Not everybody can grasp that concept, it’s nice to know that someone else in this world can.
Speaking of proper upbringing of kids, my wife and I are taking a parenting class at the Middle school. Last night was drug night. We got to sample racy music last week, but they weren’t mixing cocktails at last night’s event for some reason. What we were treated to was even better: segments from Drug-Free Kids: A Parents’ Guide, which features a very young (~14), very moody Wil Wheaton. We listened to your thoughts as your parents (Ned Beatty is your Dad!) talk about the dangers of drug and alcohol use. It was awesome.
I don’t know if you’ve discovered this yet, but every game you play on Halo 3 is recorded on your console and saved for a while. Nolan can go back and replay that awesome kill in slow motion over and over again for Ryan when he comes back to visit.
Or he could post it online at bungie.net to share the joy even sooner.
(And someone above forgot to close a tag — which I have done at the beginning of this post. I suggest fixing it if you can.)
Nice post.
I just got my Mom to realize that iChat is not hard, and she’s been video chatting all the time. New (to my non-geek family) technology is fun.
Wow.
All I can think of at the moment is that this is the kind of conversation I hope to have with my kids someday.
I hope this does not come across as odd, but you write in a way that helps me order my own thoughts. Thanks.
Living on the opisite coast from many of my family members I have found that the 360 and the whole gaming together thing has helped alot.
Don’t forget Wil, you can get the Webcam on the 360 and VTC with him.
P.S. When will you be posting your gamertag?
Too funny! This is exactly why my (grown) kids got me into World of Warcraft. We play online together and it makes for great quality family time, even when we live apart.