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xkcd addresses the rock band haters

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Last night, Ryan and I played Rock Band for a couple of hours, taking turns playing guitar and drums. We’re both sore today, and it was entirely worth it.

The point isn’t to play real instruments. The point is to pretend that you’re in a rock band, and have fun while you do it.

Our final set list was:

  • All I Want is to be Next to You
  • Reptilia
  • . . . And Justice for All
  • Foreplay/Longtime
  • Won’t Get Fooled Again

At the end, I threw my drumsticks down on the living room floor, and threw both my arms into the air, throwing double goats. Ryan spun his guitar controller around his neck, threw his arms up into the air, and we shared a spontaneous double high five.

I don’t care about playing real instruments. I just want to have fun with my friends (or, in this case, my son.) I’ve played real guitar and real bass, and though it was always satisfying to play songs well, it was never as fun as it was playing in Zombitis* last night. Rock Band haters (who have to try real hard to impress everyone with how cynical they are) completely miss this fundamental point, which is sad. Maybe if they were having fun like this, they wouldn’t be such dicks.

*2/3 of Zombitis, anyway. We couldn’t convince Nolan to stop playing Warcraft long enough to rock out with us.

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19 December, 2007 Wil

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“You are still half savage . . . but there is hope” → ← I’m going to live forever

39 thoughts on “xkcd addresses the rock band haters”

  1. Anonymous says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    World of Warcraft? Pfft. Why doesn’t he grab a REAL sword and go ACTUALLY some Alliance?

  2. kristinalead says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    I sooo have to get Rock Band… especially now that Wanted Dead or Alive is spinning through my head after the BJ concert and your “conversation with my brain” post…

  3. Nentuaby says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    World of Warcraft? Pfft. Why doesn’t he grab a REAL sword and go ACTUALLY some Alliance?
    (Okay, this is my second post in a row I’ve had to add stuff to to avoid the spam blockers. What gives?)

  4. Jaded Empath says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    Amen, brutha – test-i-fy! ^_^
    (I knew someone would tag that xkcd today; glad it was you)
    And for more ‘anti-anti-GH/RB’, there’s always an old Ctrl+Alt+Del comic: http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20070509
    (cartoon violence, may contain coarse language and condescending attitudes 🙂 )

  5. scott d. feldstein says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    After watching my son play Guitar Hero on the Wii for ten minutes, I decided his Christmas present: a sweet used Ibanez six string electric, plus amp. He did ask me to teach him how once. Now’s the time, I guess.

  6. angie k says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    Oh, I want to play that so bad. 🙂
    So, are you going to make band tshirts? You know, for the Zombitis groupies? 🙂
    I still submit one, mostly made of fail (but I like the guitar in the hand) first attempt at a band poster.
    http://tinyurl.com/39gjge
    xckd always makes me happy.
    Cheers!

  7. Wil says:
    19 December, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Heh. He doesn’t play WoW, just plain old Warcraft.

  8. ZB says:
    19 December, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    As a guy who has played (real) drums since ’88, I have to admit that these games make me cringe a bit. Nothing made me want Rock Band less than seeing all of the early promo videos of those industry bozos limping through the songs looking like morons. On the other hand, I think I’ve permanently ruined both of my wrists from playing GHIII for hours on end.
    The moral of the story? Don’t think you’re a musician just because you can push a few buttons, and don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.
    Still, those Rock Band drums look (and sound) SO LAME!

  9. Anonymous says:
    19 December, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    As usual, you’ve managed to articulate this much more clearly than I have in the past. Specifically, last year a friend of mine and I created a full-sized wireless Guitar Hero (you know the stone-age version of Rock Band? Kidding…) to be auctioned at a Child’s Play event in NYC. (We inserted the guts from a wireless controller into a Squire Bullet.) Everything went well, and the auction raised a lot of money — and showed there was a lot of interest in making custom GH controllers. So I posted a how-to on my blog.
    That’s when the haters started showing up. “Why destroy a perfectly good guitar for GH?” Answer: a) to raise thousands for charity, and b) anyone who’s ever played guitar knows that an $80 Squire Bullet isn’t a “perfectly good guitar.”
    Then came the *real* haters — the “why play this game when you can play a real guitar” crowd. Besides XKCD’s — and your — great answer, let me add that having played in bands for years, I *love* Rock Band.
    Why? First, I get to play the drums, something that I’ll never end up doing in real life. (I play the bass.) Second, it lets me have almost all the fun of playing a real gig — without all the associated suckage, like renting a U-Haul trailer for the 95th time, loading out thirty seconds after work (and loading in at 3 a.m.), arguing with a drunk/stoned/coked-out club owner/manager for our measly $250 or $300 (or less, sometimes much less), responding to the 100th request for Freebird (which is every bit as tough in real life as in GH), or immediately stripping naked and throwing all my smoke-filled clothing into the washing machine when I finally manage to get home.
    Or — worst of all — getting up the next morning at 7 a.m. to go to work after getting to bed at 4 a.m. Oh wait… I still do that with Rock Band. 🙂
    Anyway, thanks for the great post. And my condolences for all the haters that’ll make their way here soon to tell us all XKCD-style how much fun we shouldn’t be having because we’re not them.

  10. Anonymous says:
    19 December, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    As usual, you’ve managed to articulate this much more clearly than I have in the past. Specifically, last year a friend of mine and I created a full-sized wireless Guitar Hero (you know the stone-age version of Rock Band? Kidding…) to be auctioned at a Child’s Play event in NYC. (We inserted the guts from a wireless controller into a Squire Bullet.) Everything went well, and the auction raised a lot of money — and showed there was a lot of interest in making custom GH controllers. So I posted a how-to online.
    That’s when the haters started showing up. “Why destroy a perfectly good guitar for GH?” Answer: a) to raise thousands for charity, and b) anyone who’s ever played guitar knows that an $80 Squire Bullet isn’t a “perfectly good guitar.”
    Then came the *real* haters — the “why play this game when you can play a real guitar” crowd. Besides XKCD’s — and your — great answer, let me add that having played in bands for years, I *love* Rock Band.
    Why? First, I get to play the drums, something that I’ll never end up doing in real life. (I play the bass.) Second, it lets me have almost all the fun of playing a real gig — without all the associated suckage, like renting a U-Haul trailer for the 95th time, loading out thirty seconds after work (and loading in at 3 a.m.), arguing with a drunk/stoned/coked-out club owner/manager for our measly $250 or $300 (or less, sometimes much less), responding to the 100th request for Freebird (which is every bit as tough in real life as in GH), or immediately stripping naked and throwing all my smoke-filled clothing into the washing machine when I finally manage to get home.
    Or — worst of all — getting up the next morning at 7 a.m. to go to work after getting to bed at 4 a.m. Oh wait… I still do that with Rock Band. 🙂
    Anyway, thanks for the great post. And my condolences for all the haters that’ll make their way here soon to tell us all XKCD-style how much fun we shouldn’t be having because we’re not them.

  11. Jabbertrack says:
    19 December, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    You know… even on the internet I have yet to see someone claim to be a ‘musician’ because they are good at one of these games.
    Yet ‘musicians’ come climbing out of the woodwork EVERYWHERE someone talks about Rock Band or Guitar Hero to REMIND us all that they are capable of something a videogame is simulating.

  12. justme says:
    19 December, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    We’re going to have a Wii and GHIII under the tree this Xmas. My biggest fear is that as an old fogey mom, I won’t know any of the songs!
    I do feel a little embarrassed for the people who play Rock Band in Best Buy, though.

  13. lizreay says:
    19 December, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    Word. I just started playing GH3 and I’m loving it… and my husband, benevolent guy that he is, just bought Rock Band for our circle of would-be-rocker friends to play with. Can’t wait to try it!!!

  14. MacBros says:
    19 December, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    I did that exact same thing, but with Guitar Hero III with my nephew. It’s fun acting crazy.

  15. fairnhite451 says:
    19 December, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    Argh!
    Must. Resist. Buying. Second. Console. for. Rock Band.
    When will us Wii’ers get some love?
    GH is cool and all, but RB has coolness all the way up to 11.

  16. iamhoff says:
    19 December, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    I read that XKCD comic this morning and instantly thought of you. Demented minds think alike, I s’pose. \m/ \m/

  17. Gaerin says:
    19 December, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    Makes sense. I’ve seen people playing GH3 (real guitarists), taking the game quite seriously, but the role-playing game didn’t come to my mind. After all, do I need to actually shoot people to have fun? Sure not. Same for music.
    I think I’m close to delirium.
    Off-topic but I have to say it: After the film I saw tonight and a biography, not yours, I came to read, I’m really, really happy, relieved and glad to see you’re alive and kicking. And writing. And I do hope I’ll find a French translation of all that, because I hardly stand long English journeys when they’re not plain C-G-Am-F. And for now, I do hope my brain will let me sleep a bit, for it’s not the same time as displayed, here.

  18. Michele says:
    19 December, 2007 at 6:07 pm

    You can play the drums too?!?! I HAVE to try this game sometime, it looks like so much fun!

  19. Alan says:
    19 December, 2007 at 7:05 pm

    I suck so bad at Guitar Hero that Rock Band is probably not even worth thinking about. Instead, I ordered Guitar Hero Hero from that late night infomercial. You know the one I’m talking about. It comes with an intert piece of plastic with colored buttons painted on and a DVD of someone playing Guitar Hero. It had really improved the fun-level of the game for me.
    Although I still can’t get past Jordan on any level. The GHH folks are promising an upgrade DVD to solve that problem — for a small nominal fee of course.

  20. DustPuppyOI says:
    19 December, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Wil,
    I too saw the xkcd comic this morning and thought of you.
    On a tangentially related matter, for all the rocking out that you (and your brain at odd hours) do, here are a few youtube tunes from JAM Project, a Japanese band specializing in anime and video game music, worthy of \m/:
    Break Out
    Soul Taker

  21. Craig Steffen says:
    19 December, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Wil,
    It would appear that you’ve changed your settings for the typepad spam filters? Now suspicious posts are reviewed by you rather than directly rejected?
    Thanks a lot for that, and I hope you don’t end up having to review too many!

  22. Anonymous says:
    19 December, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    If Scott reads this, I used to have an Ibanez semi accoustic. So nice choice, good beginner’s guitar. I should hit the pawn shops and pick myself up a used Strat or LesPaul.
    Hey, I’m not a GH hater. I’m sure if I ever get to play it, (I think I’ll be pretty good at it,) I’ll take it serious, and have fun while doing it. It won’t satisfy the need to play for real though. Just like playing NHL 08 isn’t going to satisfy my need to play hockey. Playing Tiger Woods golf is great, but I have to hit one dead center and 280yds down a nicely manicured course on a fine summer day to feel into it. Hey I like playing poker online. I have a lot of fun doing it, but it doesn’t replace playing it with friends. I’ve never played Hold’em at a casino, but I’m positive I would have a great time.
    I dunno, it’s almost like painting by numbers. In fact I feel it’s the dumbening of an art form, if dumbening is a word. Like I said before, I just hope some people are influenced to take up instruments and form a rock band. Hey, write a few cool songs, record them in your basement, get one on an Ipod commercial and goto #1. It’s that easy kids!
    Scott is making the right choice. Dam, now that I think about it, that Ibanez I had saw stage time at the El mocomba. It wasn’t in my hands though. My cousins ex-husband had a pretty good band way back when(called Direktive 17) and he borrowed it from me for a couple weeks.
    Listen I’m not saying don’t have fun with games like GH and RB. Go wild for fuck’s sake. What I am saying is have more fun in playing it for real and learning to be creative.
    Now, if you want to call me a hater and a dick for saying what I’m saying then I have to say who’s really being the dick? Now, follow the advice of a dude I know who likes to say, “Don’t be a dick!” and don’t be.
    Laters bro. Ya dick!
    Just kiddin, who loves ya in a brotherly kinda way? You know who does, me. Now after the writers strike ends, quit being a bitch and go nail some more parts.
    Mark.

  23. Chad says:
    20 December, 2007 at 6:10 am

    I’m glad WoW has come up. WIl have you ever thought about trying the 10 day trial they give out? I’ve often thought about starting a “WilWheaton’s Posse” guild. Just to see how many WW fans are out there.

  24. tony mcdowell says:
    20 December, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Wil,
    I don’t have a problem with folks like you — that is, folks who know it’s JUST A GAME and doesn’t qualify them as an actual musician. The people that really get under my nerves are the teenage kids (and in some cases, folks in their 20s and 30s) who think that because they can score ueber-many points in Rock Band or Guitar Hero that they can actually play a real, live instrument and are somehow “superior” to “non-musicians.”
    As always, thanks for keeping it in perspective with the anecdote about having fun with your kids.

  25. JMama3 says:
    20 December, 2007 at 8:42 am

    I know my kids would love it. I wonder if my hubby would get any use out of it?
    He claims not to like that “kind of stuff”, but I remember years ago when the original Nintendo came out. My dad, the farmer,and always serious guy, was caught by my sister and I when we got home from school, in my room playing Mario Bros.Actually I think it was MB2. Anyway,
    It was something I will never forget. He was jumping around when he would push the buttons to jump and moving left to right. Man, that is funny.He trashed Lord knows how many controllers by smashing the damn buttons. I wonder what the heck ever made him decide to play that? I’ll have to call my sister and reminisce…
    Seems you can always make my mind wonder with what you write. That is a memory I haven’t thought about in years. Not to make this fun loving post sappy, but thank you. I think maybe this game might be worth it for the kids to see Daddy get down.Of course, I would never get any use out of it! J

  26. KatieKatie says:
    20 December, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Totally Awesome!
    Party on!

  27. Daniel Sroka says:
    20 December, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    I can’t imagine that anyone who plays video games think those skills translate to the real world. (Wow I’m great at Metroid, so if any Space Pirates show up, I am all set!) And if they do, who cares? They’ll be shocked to reality the first time they try to demonstrate their mad skills.
    Wish I could play Rock Band, but the wife don’t like it, the kids are too young, and the friends are too far away. Woe is me.

  28. bhagczech says:
    20 December, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    “I can’t imagine that anyone who plays video games think those skills translate to the real world.”
    Aw, c’mon. Didn’t you guys see that documentary? Oh gosh, what was it called….
    Oh yeah, “The Last Starfighter”
    Totally true story.
    Free Xenu.

  29. in8sworld says:
    20 December, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    I enjoy playing instruments far more than I enjoy playing video games, but I remember spending hours upon hours playing air guitar pretending I was better than I really was and don’t deny that I enjoyed doing so. It was just as much fun, I think, without a joystick. Imagination is such a glorious thing.

  30. cryssyer says:
    21 December, 2007 at 2:42 am

    I must live under a rock. I have not heard of these *haters*, and wouldn’t listen to them if I did. I just wish that I wasn’t so darned clumsy that I can’t relax enough to enjoy the game…
    Great post, Wil!

  31. kate mckinnon says:
    21 December, 2007 at 7:25 am

    “Maybe if they were having fun like this, they wouldn’t be such dicks.”
    You know, Wil, that’s one of the most profound truths ever.
    Kate

  32. ShowbizPRgirl says:
    21 December, 2007 at 10:40 am

    Live free and die hard, you bad-ass rockers! 🙂
    KJC
    http://showbizprgirl.blogspot.com/

  33. jessiker says:
    21 December, 2007 at 9:35 pm

    I have to admit to being humbled by Rockband’s awesomeness. My husband, who makes his living as a musician, was in the garage with his partner (also a professional musician) playing Rock Band with a couple of friends. They came into the house all happy, very self-satisfied grins on their faces. My husband says, “We just totally rocked out on Mississippi Queen!”. I shook my head and said to them, “You know, you could all pick up the REAL INTRUMENTS and actually PLAY Mississippi Queen, right?”.
    They sort of chuckled and gave me sheepish grins but then Danny said, “Yeah, but it wouldn’t be as fun”. Everyone agreed.
    I eventually agreed to play a couple of tunes and was converted. It’s good to rock!

  34. amym75 says:
    22 December, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    I didn’t want to play Rock Band at first, but my husband kept begging me to be his singer while be played guitar. So I gave in, and I can’t get enough! I know I can’t carry a tune to save my life, but it is really fun!
    It’s something my hubby and I can play together on Xbox360 that doesn’t envolve kiling each other. 🙂

  35. Keith says:
    22 December, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    You professional musicians and GH/RB haters can relax. Us 30 year old, tone deaf librarians aren’t coming for your gig.
    I love GH because it fulfills the dream I’ve had since I was twelve, of playing rock songs on a guitar.
    Any game that can simulate childhood joy is something to be celebrated.

  36. Gaerin says:
    23 December, 2007 at 1:43 am

    You can both play GH and start playing the guitar for real, Keith; you sound like you’d love it too ;).

  37. justme says:
    25 December, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    GHIII just became my favorite xmas present (I gave it to my spousal unit for the new Wii). I am totally hooked and can’t wait until everyone stops playing Harry Potter so I can strap on the silly plastic guitar some more!!! I never imagined it would be so much fun!

  38. Heather says:
    29 January, 2008 at 7:05 am

    I’m a Wii Guitar Hero fan myself.
    Its fun, even if only for the moment you can pretend like you have a musically talented bone in your body! hehe

  39. Uncle Indie You Rock Radio says:
    23 April, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    It reminds me of when I was a kid and used to play air guitar, noly more realistic! I ended up becoming amusician and working in the music business for real, too bad I just can’t turn it the hell off sometimes! lol

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