Atrios used to have this series of posts called "What Digby said."
Digby and Atrios are two of my favorite political writers and thinkers (Glenn Greenwald, Josh Marshall, John Cole and Bob Somerby probably round out the starting infield on my all-star team, if you care about that sort of thing) so I always enjoyed it when Atrios — who is no slouch — would quote Digby and simply say, "What Digby said."
I think I’m going to have to start a similar bunch of posts here, called What Scalzi Said, because I keep trying to write up my own take on something John’s written, and I end up feeling massively inadequate. It would just be better to point to it and say, "What Scalzi said." Or, if I was on Fark, I’d quote it and add: THIS.
Today’s edition of What Scalzi Said addresses a complicated issue that I could have written about myself if I wasn’t so self conscious about the whole thing. He calls it Meeting Authors (and me):
One aspect of fame — even the rather meager portion of it that I and
most authors have — is that more people know you than you know, and
they have a relationship with you that you don’t have with them. I
can’t individually know everyone who reads one of my books or reads
Whatever; I’d have no time left at the end of the day. And once again
it makes me feel sorry for people who are genuinely famous, who have this sort of unequal relationship with millions of people, not just a few sundry thousands.
I do think it’s worth remembering that even though you’ve
read our books (and our blogs) and feel friendly toward us, on our end
of things you’re a stranger, even if we’ve interacted with you through
blog comments or e-mail or whatever.[…]
That said, you know: I’m just this guy. There’s no great
science to meeting me or any author for the first time. Presuming that
you are adult and socialized reasonably well, the way to introduce
yourself to me is the same way you would introduce yourself to anyone
you’ve not actually met before in real life. You come up, make sure I’m
not currently engaged in a task that needs my full attention, say
“excuse me” or “hello” to get my attention, and then introduce
yourself. Wherein you and I will likely have a nice, brief chat, and
after a minute or two we’ll disengage and go about our lives. Pretty
simple.
It’s hard for me to just excerpt a little bit of it, especially because I’ve been on both sides of the conversation, but all I can really add to it is, "THIS." I really want to encourage everyone who may find themselves in a position to meet an author, actor, musician, or net.celebrity to go and read it. The conversation in the comments is great, too.
This has been the first installment of What Scalzi Said, brought to you by Slurm (it’s highly addictive!) Please stay tuned for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad, coming up next!
I said this on Whatever, but I’ll repeat myself here: there’s a video on CNN.com right now that seems apropos. When you ask someone to pose for a photo and that person says no, THAT MEANS NO. That doesn’t mean wheedle and whine until the person gives in, ungraciously, or until the person is forced to direct rudeness.
That’s a nice beginning to your All-Star team. If only we could get Billmon to come out of retirement. He could be the closer.
Why so self conscious? I think it’s a topic you could speak quite well on. That said, it’s hard to imagine writing anything after reading Scalzi because he does it so well. I feel inadequate writing anything and I’m not even a writer.
It’s still hard to take what he says to heart. The “just go and introduce yourself because writers/actors/well known people are just these people, you know?” part. It’s easy to understand the “don’t be a dick and try not to be crazy. Just because you follow a well known person’s every word doesn’t mean they read your blog or remember you from that con you went to 10 years ago” part — that part is good common sense. I usually feel so much like I’m going to loose it when I meet someone well known who I respect and admire. I don’t want to come off as a goonie but don’t want to act like I’m too cool for school, you know? So it’s hard to get up the nerve to go say something. (I tend to hover 50 feet away and stare because that’s much more logical than just saying, “Hi, you’re cool.”) At least I can say I’ve never been a jerk to any well known person I’ve met. Dorky, and a little spastic, perhaps, but never a jerk and I’ve never assumed I’m that well known persons best friend forever because that’s just odd, you know?
I’m enjoying the ask Scalzi anything series. He’s a hundred kinds of awesome.
I think lots of us have taken up the What Digby Said cry. I mean, she’s just the Digbyest! I love her to bits.
Wil, thank you for bringing Scalzi, Old Man’s War and The Ghost Brigade to my attention.
Best sci-fi i’ve read in years, and im not even done with GB yet.
Thank you so much! 🙂
**checks to see if Wil is currently chatting with somebody else. Clears throat**
Hey Wil. How’s it goin’?
All hail hypnotoad.
that is all.
One of my favorite stories like this is the time I was having Henry Rollins sign a book after one of his spoken word shows. It was raining out and kind of chilly and some idiot walked up to Henry and said “can my girlfriend see your back tattoo” which of course would have required Henry practically taking his shirt off. I thought Henry handled it well, with a very stern “No”.
Also, I’m not famous of course but I do fix computers for a living so I do tend to have people ask me for help at odd times. My favorite though was when I was on the toilet!
Oh but it’s so much *fun* when you meet someone for the first time, and immediately start regaling them with “Yeah, how ’bout that $blogtopic?”, draping an overly-familiar arm around them, calling them “buddy” and “old pal” and all that. It’s great.
Ahaha.
Agreed with your starting lineup. You may consider adding Crooks and Liars as a way to toss some video into the mix.
May I also suggest http://www.badattitudes.com. A blog started by one of my favorite writers (and former speech writer in the Carter admin). He has other contributors now in addition to himself.
The trick really is quelling your near fatal fanSquee for the 3-5 minutes you’ll be speaking with the object of your fandom. Basically, convincing yourself for that timespan that this person is a PERSON just like you before making a total ass out of yourself.
My own example: I was way too PAX’d out with excitement to approach anyone with any self control, and waiting in line to say hello was only going to make it worse. So a new friend and I started some Animal Crossing business via DS multiplayer nearby. After sometime being in the background of numerous other fan’s photos, the person mentioned in passing that they were sick. And that basic, 5 second statement pushed all of my ridiculous fanSquee aside as I proceeded to make normal, polite conversation about being sorry to hear that and offering to share my stash of Airborne and Halls Vitamin C drops. They were gracious, I was gracious, no one was embarassed and everything was cool.
I promise this year to actually introduce myself at some point.
And I love Scalzi; been hanging around Whatever for several years now. Just finally finished The Android’s Dream today and still need to get The Last Colony before Zoe’s Tale comes out this year. I’ll also get the Tor release of Agent to the Stars even though I have the original limited edition already.
Wow, that was such an interesting read (comments and all) that I completely forgot that I had breakfast cooking on the stove in the other room. Thanks again for another top notch suggestion. 🙂
Thanks for pointing out a great article. When I was 18, I got to go back stage and meet my most “favouritous band ever!” and was so sorely disappointed and weirded out by the experience. They seemed like they were so cool and so funny on tv and in concert but they were mostly bland and a few were snobby/aloof in real life. It was such a shock that I could barely listen to their music for a time. It ends up that they are the cool, funny people I thought they were, I just met them at a bad time – they were almost breaking up. So, you never know when you meet a famous stranger what may be going on with them at the time. (Side note: I got over it and they are still my favourite band 13 yrs later)
Oh and Wil…I did have the opportunity meet you and to trade my almost at par American dollars for a copy of THDOOL at PAX. You were humble, friendly and focused (fucosed?) on every person you met in the line.
That was cool.
So far I’ve played the CRAP FACE LOO ALIKE !
But I bet Wi; can never beat the Band I got!
PS3 What is your ID DUDE!
LOOK for MacBros Online… I wi;lll Kill you!
It’s way too late on the east coast to be posting here instead of being asleep like I should be, but I really didn’t want to let this one go by, as I’ve done a lot of thinking about this concept in the past, and wanted to toss my $0.02 your way.
Scalzi’s point is well delivered. There’s an additional piece to the puzzle that strikes me as going one step further from what he wrote in your quote. For the reader/fan, developing this one-sided relationship is often an unintentional emotional investment, to some degree, in the “famous” person. Time spent partaking of and appreciating a person’s work engenders admiration for the creator. Unfortunately for the reader/fan, often the only gift they feel they can offer in return when meeting the creator is excessive excitement, hoping to make a small impression on someone they respect.
Much like a small child seeks a word of praise for a poor crayon drawing from busy parents, the only currency most readers/fans have is their own enthusiasm over the only common ground there is: the creator and their work. One of the worst feelings to me is having an opportunity to meet someone I respect and admire, and afterwards feeling as though I left no lasting good impression of any kind.
I don’t know how many other people feel similarly, but in my case, awkwardness can be caused by a slightly different reason. Through giving you, for example, my time by reading your work, blog, etc., I’ve come to know the public side of you, and discovered a very cool, interesting, geeky person. You’re quick to point out that you’re “just this guy”, but I’d like to suggest that you’re just this guy to you. To us, readers and fans, you are someone (somewhat) famous that we collectively know.
Ironically, you, and others whose fame is limited, tend to engender more of a sense of camaraderie than the super-famous, yet when fans encounter the reality of just how one-sided their author/reader relationship is, it can cause the very awkwardness that Scalzi refers to. It’s like meeting an old friend who developed amnesia and has completely forgotten you – what do you say?
I guess what I’m getting at is pretty simple. Even though it seems to fans and readers like we’re your pals and you are ours, it’s not true, and in fact, is crazy. It’s crazy because it’s entirely one sided, and when given a chance to meet you (or others like you), it makes it awkward for us. For you, it seems like it would awkward in a different way, for we are simply strangers with whom you have no imagined connection, yet we know lots about you. A large group of stalkers, if you will 🙂
I think my point, other than just to share, is that it’d be cool if there was some magic alternate universe way to actually be friends with famous and semi-famous people, because sometimes it just sucks to discover and learn about someone really cool, but not be able to share things about yourself in return.
BTW, if you read this, thanks 🙂 I genuinely appreciate it.
Sneaky way to get in a linux plug. https://computing.llnl.gov/linux/slurm/documentation.html
Simple Linux Utility for Resource Management
Currently reading scalzi.com/whatever, instead of tilling the garden and sundry other chores.
“Alternative Eric S: “What’s Wil Wheaton really like?”
He smells of musk and lilacs.
Oh, wait, there’s more to the question:
“(OK, maybe a discourse on whether blogs/journals give an accurate view of the people who write them.)…”