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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Things every person should have

Posted on 13 March, 2012 By Wil

Things every person should have:

  • A nemesis.
  • An evil twin.
  • A secret headquarters.
  • An escape hatch.
  • A partner in crime.
  • A secret identity.

What else?

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Comments (155)

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  1. Rhettro says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    A bag of nachos.
    What?

  2. Maddan564 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    A cape, most likely black or red.

  3. Rob Tarr says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    A catch-phrase.

  4. Tim Miller says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    An endless supply of peanut butter (brand of their choice).

  5. twitter.com/lunarobverse says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    A towel. Or at least know where one is.

  6. Jon Wise says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    A death ray.

  7. Billybob476 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    A bearded mirror-universe double.

  8. Euan McGill says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    An army of red-shirted henchmen

  9. Corucia44 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Theme music
    a chance to live happily ever after

  10. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    A romantic interest/lover.

  11. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Capes are no good. Didn’t you see The Incredibles?

  12. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Or in this case a clean-shaven mirror-universe double.

  13. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    A secret weapon.

  14. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    A second-in-command (Number 2).

  15. TheChrisReese says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    A patsy. A fall-guy

  16. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    You mean Number One?

  17. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Also, your secret headquarters needs a well-stocked laboratory, and it needs to be in some remote place (North Pole, Himalayas, small island in the middle of the Pacific, etc.).

  18. Jeff from Vegas says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    I was thinking more of Number Two from Austin Powers.

  19. twitter.com/fitzwillie says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    A scar, and an awesome story about how they got it.

  20. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    But the context begs for Number One…

  21. Amandageddon says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    No capes!

  22. Amandageddon says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    A Plan B.

  23. tikilovegod says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    An infernal contraption

  24. Dan McDevitt says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Manners.

  25. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=25917151 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    An ascot.

  26. James Keesey says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    A Fez

  27. Kimberly Shoaf says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    A good blaster at your side.

  28. Blatherbybubbe.wordpress.com says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    A blog or two as entertaining as this one to follow. (Yeah, I’m kissing up, but I get so much enjoyment here I couldn’t resist!)

  29. Daireen says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    An idea that just.
    Might.
    Work.

  30. My3GirlsRBest says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    An alibi.

  31. R J Mote says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    A beard. In the event a beard cannot be grown, a suitably nefarious and/or steampunkish handlebar mustache may be substituted.
    If facial hair is not an option, a hench-beard may be hired (Henchbeings, Underlings, Menials, Peons and Sycophants Union approved, of course).

  32. Victoria Clout says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    A catch phrase and a signature move/or take down for enemies.

  33. Gandhi aus Deutschland says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    – a Mom and Dad to love, and to be loved by
    – a home to find those to love
    – and still….. SOMEONE TO LOVE

  34. Gandhi aus Deutschland says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    maybe I’m wrong, but I dont think so……

  35. Maddan564 says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    yeah man, but capes are cool… they look edgy, plus how lame does spiderman look?

  36. Sihaya says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    A handy diversion.

  37. Melanie Vrba says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    An expendable crew member.

  38. Ericostby says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    A comprehensive knowledge of the Evil Overlord list (just in case).

  39. 58limited says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    1. Home brew
    2. Minions
    3. A fireplace to relax by and sip cognac after causing mayhem, preferably with a bear skin rug in front of it

  40. Paul Howard says:
    13 March, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    That’s easy. Everyone should have someone to sing “Soft Kitty” to them when they are sick.

  41. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    An ace in the hole

  42. Frank Ozaki says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    a soundtrack, and something to look forward to.

  43. Birma Gainor says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    A femme fatale.Or the masculine equivalent. Homme fatale I guess? Anyways, a sexy second that could betray them at any moment for the right incentive (that being the sexy hero).

  44. jlagrua says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    A non-descript door in an utterly silent, non-descript hallway of your hidden lair, which, upon opening reveals an army of black-suited, ninja, commando asassins, shooting submachineguns & flamethrowers, rapelling on ropes, and Kung Fu fighting in an enormous cavern.
    Upon closing the door, he hallway is, once again, totally, and eerily, silent.

  45. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    A sandwich.

  46. Shannon Moncure says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    A dark secret, obviously. Otherwise, what’s it all for?

  47. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    A “Wesley Crusher” who can cane come in and save the day.

  48. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Yeah, Riker on TNG was Number 1.

  49. A Facebook User says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    A degree or skill that they can fall back on in case it all fails.

  50. Antiavenger says:
    13 March, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Simple; a confidant.

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