I got better

Comments (247)

1. Thank you.

2. Thank you for this post Wil, from the bottom of my heart. It’s like looking into a mirror of my yesterday. I’m actually getting wet eyes for recognizing myself in this post. I need to call someone, don’t I? I think I do.

   Thank you.

3. Thanks Wil. Thanks for being who you are and being open about this kind of thing, and not feeling the need to hide behind pretence. The courage that would take for an ordinary person suffering through depression is extraordinary; for someone as high profile as yourself I don’t even know where to begin.

   I’m mostly (as much as you can be) recovered now, but I know that when I was bad, when I was really you-useless-fuck-just-fall-in-front-of-a-train bad, this kind of post from someone like you would have meant so so much to me. Please never stop posting this kind of thing. We know it gets better, but hundreds of thousands of people don’t and can’t. For someone to care enough to put that out there: it’s not nothing. Thank you.

4. thanks for this. Sometimes, in the depths of feeling crappy, it’s so hard to remember that you won’t always feel crappy. Even as I reassure my daughter that it’s her brain that makes her feel crappy, and that it will get better, and we’ll get through it together…but I can’t tell her that I’m struggling just to get through the day so much of the time. I don’t want to scare her, you see. So to see that it’s not just me, that other people feel this way too, and it gets better…well, it’s helps, so thank you.

5. Wil, I can’t thank you enought for writing this. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to not explode at someone – anyone – and I feel like I’ve been going bat-shit crazy. But this reminds me that it DOES get better.
   Thank you.

6. It’s great that you share this publicly. It makes the rest of us who aren’t wired “right” feel less alone in the world. That we aren’t so strange and fucked up. I just wish my up swings lasted longer than my down swings… Thanks Wil.

7. Wil! big fan bud… been for a long time…

   I run a web design freelance company, interested in having an on call guy to help with any web stuff? – doesn’t hurt to offer I hear!

   if it seems like somethin you’d like just shoot me a note… otherwise keep rockin man! stay outta trouble.

8. I hate depression brain, the fucking WORST! So frustrating and blinding…

9. Thank you for sharing! I have bipolar depression II, PTSD and anxiety. I also have an 11yr old child with anxiety and major depressive disorder. We have been having lots of bad days and you know what there are good days and I try to cherish those days. Another thing I try to do is champion for those with mental illness. I don’t share in public about my daughter as she has asked me not to, but I do share about myself and I am constantly letting others know that those with mental illnesses are just as normal those without but we struggle. I am trying to erase that stigma that is attached to mental illness and what I am getting at is that I know you are too and I applaud you for that. Thank you!

10. I have MMMMMARRAAAHHH days too. I know what you mean entirely. I’ve learned to push through it and soldier on, even if I don’t want to. Hang in there and we’ll try not to take things too seriously on your MMMMMARRAAAHHH days if you promise not to take stupid things we say too seriously on our MMMMMARRAAAHHH days.

11. This post strikes a chord with me so much… In a both good and sad way. My husband suffers from depression but won’t seek help. It seems like your bad day is his every day… Your post gives me hope that one day he can also say “it got better”.

12. Wil, I just wanted to tell you what a special person you are to share your life with the public, You and I have the same cross to bear, Like you, I refuse to let it ruin my life.
    Appreciate your humor so much. Enjoy when you appear on The Big Bang Theory! Would love to see more of your work.
    But, now I know what a great person you are. God Bless!

13. As someone having a very MMMRRRAAAAHH last few months, the little things really are the super best. Also dogs. Dogs are the best.

14. Thank you for sharing your story and battle with depression like you do. It seems like lip service when a random somebody says, “Buck up, it’ll pass, you’ll be fine. It all gets better!”. But with you sharing as frequently and as openly as you do, it’s inspiring and comforting. We can read about what you’re going through and when you say, “It will get better.”, it means something. It’s not just platitudes- you’re fighting your battle and you’re getting through it. You actually know what you’re talking about. Glad you’re feeling better!

15. I am 100% familiar with everything you describe here, and it helps so much just having it confirmed once again that other people have these days too. I’m tempted to send my boyfriend a link to this post, as a better explanation of “depression days” than I could ever write myself. Always hang in there, Mr. Wheaton – you’re awesome!

16. I have the same days for the same reason. When these days happen I so wish I could make it stop, but as we both know….that doesn’t happen. Thanks for the post. It made me remember how bad it was before I got help. Guess it isn’t as bad as it was. Thank god.

17. I just want to say thank you for being so open about your struggle with depression. At 25, I found myself feeling constantly down and overwhelmed by every day and you posted something a while back admitting to your own struggles and that was part of what encouraged me to seek help. I’ve thought, more than once, that if someone as amazing and awesome as Wil Wheaton can face this and get help, then so can I. I got help and it’s amazing how many things have come back to me and how I can get out of bed in the morning and not want to be struck by miraculous lightning. So thank you, so much, for being so open and so forthright, because you’ve helped me out more than words can say.

18. I don’t know about the others but I bet there are a lot out there who feel like me. We support you on these bad days you have because we understand. I have had the exact kind of day you are describing. Not only is it good for me to see that others have these days and that they pass just like I know they do, but it is good to see some one in the public eye explaining this issue. It affect a lot of people and people who have never had depression have a really hard time understanding it. So you are welcome for the support and Thank you for sharing with us.

19. Great post, and as someone who’s been through some similar times, it’s always good to hear someone remind us that it will get better.

20. I’ve never replied to you before, usually I just lurk and laugh but today, I wanted to thank you.

    I am going through my own No Good Very Bad Day, Week, Month, Whatever. I have depression and anxiety disorder. And it’s kicking my ass.

    Reading your posts yesterday and today have reminded me that it will end. I just have to keep letting the days come. Keep letting my wonderful fiance support me. When I can’t even stand to have him hold my hand, he just sits there, sending love across the room. I forget a lot of the time how hard that must be for him.

    I am still having a Bad Day. I am tempted to delete this instead of posting it because my anxiety is whispering in my head. I am still hiding in my office because the idea of being where there are other people, or even my pets, is just terrifying.

    But, thanks to you, and your honesty about your own Bad Day, I can remember that,even though I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I don’t know when this round of Bad Days will be over, there is an end. Eventually I will come out the other side. So, thank you.

21. You have an amazing wife Wil. Anne is very strong and loves you so much. No matter how dark your day may be, hug your wife.
    Your honesty has helped me get help for my anxiety and depression.
    Thank you & peace to you both.
    Andy B xx

22. “I have depression, but depression doesn’t have me,” is one of the most powerful tools I’ve got right now. Ever notice how really low days often precede an important/ awesome day? No clue about my ability to accurately correlate, and even whether to imply causation… but I notice this pattern.
    -glad you’re feeling better

23. To be honest. I can’t say I Read every article you post. but sometimes the title or a phrase contained within sparks my interest. And to be frank This is by far one of my favorites. it struck a chord with me in a way I cannot explain. I guess it’s because you took something I deal with a lot. (not being able to rightfully express myself or having terrible days for no real reason other than it seems like the world is out to get me)

    You helped me make sense of it and you don’t even realize. I know this letter is probably super gushy and dumb. and you probably have a bunch of things to do.

    So in short. thanks for helping me out of a “MMMMMARRAAAHHH” Day.

    Sincerely
    -Josh

24. Wil, I’m so glad today is a better day. I know for me when I have a really bad day it’s hard to believe things will get better, can be better, and anytime soon, because that sort of hope for a better day is like a quiet little voice that just can’t compete with my brain’s loud litany that Everything Is Terrible And Nothing Is Okay Or Will Be Okay Ever. I’ve been working for months on finding the right combo of medications to get me to a consistently better place, and man, the waiting sucks but I’m getting through it as best I can right now. I hope you get to that better place, too.

25. Wil, thank you so much for writing about your depression and anxiety so much. As I start to heal hearing that I could be 97% of normal some day is what keeps me going. Your Depression Lies essay is what finally convinced me to see a psychiatrist and get medication for Panic Disorder that was ruining my life for over 10 years. everything is starting to get better and I have you to thank. Keep fighting the good fight.

26. I recently started to seek help for my broken brain after 29 years of ignoring it. My push to fix it came from encouraging words like yours and relatable stories like this one. I have the “MMMMMARRAAAHHH” days more often than I would like but I know what they are now and I know they’ll pass. I just want to thank you awesome-celebrity-guy-I’ve-never-met for being so open about the issues you have, I know it’s saved my life.

27. I had a worthless less than zero day today. I felt isolated and alone. I had an overwhelming feeling that I was unloved and hated by everyone. I know it is not the case, I have two beautiful boys that love me very much.

28. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know others have those days to. And that they get better.

29. Wil, I just want to thank you for posting about your struggles with this. About a year and some months ago, you wrote something about your depression and getting medication for it that finally, FINALLY spurred me to do something about my anxiety. I’m not ready to say I’m getting a handle on it yet, and I had my own MMMMMARAHHAAA day last Sunday, but your post got me to DO something about it. I really appreciate that. And I think I’m getting closer. I hope you are too.

    –Ken

30. Just wanted to say thanks for talking about this, it takes a lot I’m sure, and the fact that you do, because you clearly know it’s important, is very cool.

31. Thank you for posting this. I needed it today, after having feigned a headache at work because the day was too much for me to handle and spending the remainder of the day on the couch crying for no damn reason. It’s nice to be reminded that maybe tomorrow will be better. Thank you.

32. ‘“It’s okay,” she said.

    “It’s not okay[…]”‘

    No, she was right; it is okay.

    Look, when a person with, say, a broken leg bumps his leg on a doorframe and proceeds to utter invective the likes of which would make Satan blush*, no one calls him to task for it. When a person with a sprung back gets himself caught in a 90-degree angle after trying to feed the cats, it’s all right.

    Depression and anxiety disorders are both organic, physical problems, not ‘mental’ or ‘mood’ problems.

    It really is okay.

    —

    * If Satan were blushing, how would you know?

33. I hope that I have put all my bad days behind me because after being on various medications for over 20 years, I’m weaning myself off them with a psychiatrist’s help. I feel I have been on them way longer than I needed to, stretching it out from crisis to crisis and they have become toxic to my body and mind. I’m no hero. I will go back on them if I find I have to. But I definitely have learned to cope better. I’m in group therapy now. I have a great psychiatrist. And I will find a therapist again if I need one plus I have my former one I can see again if I need to.

34. Thank you for posting this- I’m having one of those days where I KNOW depression lies and I have to just stick it out and trust that it will get better (with sufficient support and help)… But it’s nice to hear from someone that I’m not abnormal. Or at least I’m the right kind of abnormal. It’s a good reminder that this feeling isn’t forever.

35. Wil, I gotta say, I know exactly how those days are, as I have them uncomfortably often. What you have to do on days like those, is just tough through all the bad stuff, and remember that tomorrow will be a new (and probably awesome) day. This blog entry (as your usually are) was oddly inspiring and wonderfully down to earth, and I’m so happy I follow you (on the internet, of course) so I can be treated to stories like that.

    You’re an awesome dude, man. No matter how down you get, just remember that. Keep on rocking the free world, and please pardon my overuse of parenthesis. =)

36. You just told my story. It could not have come at a better time. Feeling good : Think of all the money I’m going to save on drugs and therapy. Thanks so much Wil.

37. *Hugs* I just wish you wouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself to be “normal” (I do it to myself too) or to think that Anne and the kids want somebody “normal” instead of you. You’re a package deal, messes and high fives and everything. And that’s ok. And they chose you and keep choosing you over and over.

38. You don’t know how much this means to me to hear someone else struggle with the spectre of depression. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anyone to suffer. It just helps put it in perspective that I am indeed not alone. Always remember that you also are not alone.

39. Huge, huge hugs to you!!! Glad today was a better day for you 🙂

40. Thanks for sharing this, Wil. Everybody hurts, sometimes. It’s good to be reminded that those days, too, shall pass. Black dog’s been leaving me alone lately, but he’ll be back. He always is.

41. Just wanted to say thank you. I was having a horrible day and you reminded me that they have a reason and it will get better.

42. Your honesty’s inspiring, and shows people they can be successful even with their mental health troubles. You’re incredibly relatable for it.

43. It’s the little posts like these that make me feel much better about my “MRRRAHHH” days. Honestly, it’s because of how you’ve talked about how things get better if you get help that kept me looking up. Anxiety is a sucky monster that wraps around your brain and gets you in a fit over stupid fucking things that other people don’t get and then creates more dumb sucky things for you. However, telling people close to you and getting help makes things much better. (So when you have bad days, there’s someone out there willing to listen and get that you can’t just stop feelings and make your brain work. Gee, support is cool.)
    This is going to sound super corny, but just know that for your MRRRAHHGH days, there’s someone like me that feels better knowing she’s not the only one, and that looks up to you for talking about it and sharing.

44. Thanks for posting this. It helps knowing other people go through the same thing I do. I’m glad you’re having a better day. Can’t wait for the Stone event!!!

45. Wil, you aren’t the only one to have a MMMMMARRAAAHHH day. I admit my brain has days where it just plain refuses to function, and my frustration at that more often than not gets the better of me. Unfortunately, today was one of those days. Even worse, I can’t write all that well when I’m in this sort of funk. But hey, I feel better, and I am in a very zen place right about now. Now all I need to do is find a way to have more days like my more normal zen days, even as I meditate every morning. It’s crazy really. So thank you for sharing your depression story, so we all can feel safe sharing ours.

46. Awesome, Will. Everyone has those days. I call them “thinking with the 2 O’Clock-in-the-morning-brain”, because some nights you’ll wake up around 2 am and start beating yourself up about stuff – then take a mental step back and go, “oh…it’s my 2 O’Clock in the morning brain talking…” and just try shrug it off.

    Winston Churchill – an amazing individual and positive *dynamo* in terms of what he could come up with and accomplish while mere mortals struggled to keep up – had what he’d call his “Black Dog Days” which were utterly debilitating for reasons over which he had no control – but when he was “bitten by the Black Dog” it was a struggle to even function on a basic level.

47. I had a Very Bad No Good Day of Depression myself, and I was fully expecting/dreading it to end even worse (because that’s what my evil days like to do) but I was very pleasantly surprised to come home and be able to enjoy my baby sister’s company and just calm the fuck down.

    Deep breaths.. 🙂

48. Mr. Wheaton,

    I thought for a while about what to respond to your post with. I’m a writer by profession and I feel like I have a lot to say, but I worried that anything I said in an effort to sound sincere may come off wrong to someone and just wanted to avoid that entirely.

    So, I came up with this.

    I think it’s really cool of you to be so open and honest about your depression and I really hope that others reading this can take from your example and be open to talking about it. I feel like there is a social stigma to talking about depression openly that I wish didn’t exist. I don’t have depression myself, but some people that I really care about it do, so I’ve seen it in person, at it’s worst.

    I’m a huge fan of yours and love Tabletop. Here’s to more good days than MMMMMARRAAAHHH ones.

49. I can completely relate with those feelings. I suffer from horrible feel-like-I’m-going-to-die panic attacks, which come in waves, and end with me wading through the mess of depression.

    Knowing that my loved ones do their best to make you feel better, combined with being irritable with them makes me feel guilty, then more depressed. Such a frustrating cycle.

    My husband understands and is so amazing about it! It seems your wife is too– which is a huge gift to those of us that struggle!

    Thanks for being honest about what you’re going though. It liberates others to feel a bit less alone in this crazy fight against feeling crazy!

50. I relate to this SO HARD. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

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