How I spent my birthday

My sound guy, Matt, helped me take off my mic. My wardrobe stylist, Kristin, helped me out of my jacket, while my makeup artist, Molly, handed me a wipe thing to get my makeup off my face.

Anne stood up from the audience and said, “we have something for you.”

“Dude, I don’t want anyone making a big deal about my birthday,” I said, “especially at work.”

“Well, it’s too late. I got you Batman cupcakes.”

From behind the green screen, my stage manager, Roger, handed me a chocolate cupcake with a batman cookie on top of it. It was pretty awesome.

“Holy shit that’s amazing and I’m so glad you did this!” I said. “Please don’t sing.”

“Nobody is going to sing. We also got enough cupcakes for the whole audience and crew, too,” Anne said.

I turned to the audience and told them. Someone shouted out that they knew, because they’d been let in on the secret while I was changing my wardrobe earlier.

I walked out the stage door, and saw boxes of cupcakes set up on a table. For the next few minutes, I thanked every person who came to the show, and handed them a cupcake and a Sharknado toy that our friends at Funko provided to us to give away. My crew and the show staff gathered around and wished me happy birthday, Kristin gave me some Star Wars Vans, Molly gave me some craft beer, and my writers gave me a card that was accompanied by even more beer. My people just get me, you guys.

After I changed into my normal clothes, Anne and I drove up to Santa Barbara — well, Anne drove while I drifted in and out of sleep — to spend a couple days for my birthday. Traffic was surprisingly light, and we got to our hotel early enough to watch the gorgeous sunset over the Pacific Ocean. We had a wonderful dinner, shared a fantastic bottle of wine, and fell asleep before 10pm.

12 hours of sleep later, we woke up. After five exhausting days at Comicon and a taping of The Wil Wheaton Project, I finally felt rested.

“Happy birthday,” Anne said to me as we stretched and tried to convince ourselves that getting out of bed was a thing we should probably do.

“Thanks,” I said. “It’s totally my birthday.”

“All day long!”

We had breakfast, and then took a long walk on the beach. There weren’t too many people out, and most of the people who were there had adorable dogs running around. Anne and I are dog people, so we got to stop several times to throw a ball or scratch a scruffy neck.

“You know what I think would be awesome?” I said, as we reached a sea wall a couple miles away and began our walk back to the hotel. Before Anne could answer, I continued, “I think we should go to the spa and get massages.”

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” she said.

“I know. I’m kind of amazing.”

We got back to the hotel,found out that we could book into the couple’s massage room, and got 80-minute massages in a beautiful room with windows open to the ocean, the sound of gently breaking waves carried in on a soft ocean breeze.

After our massage, we went back to our room to get ready for dinner … but first I had to take a nap, because when you’re 42, that’s how you spend your birthday.

I woke up two hours later, and got ready for dinner, which would be at one of my favorite restaurants in town. I looked for my nice shirt in the suitcase, and discovered that, in my exhaustion a day earlier, I had forgotten to pack it.

“I’m not as amazing as I said I was earlier. I forgot to bring my nice shirt.”

“It’s okay,” Anne said, “the restaurant isn’t fancy.”

“But I wanted to look nice for you.”

“I don’t care how you look,” she said.

“Even if I look like a hobo?” I said.

“You can’t look like a hobo, because you also forgot to pack your hobo bindle.”

“Dammit!” I pulled on a black t-shirt that was at least more appropriate than the Tabletop T-shirt I had been wearing.

We got to dinner, and it was awesome. I had all the food I wanted, and the restaurant even gave me a chocolate souffle with a candle in it, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIL written on the plate in chocolate. I’m always excited when someone spells my name correctly, and then I was even more excited when I found out that they knew how to spell my name because the servers were fans of The Wil Wheaton Project. I blew out the candle, and wished for the show to get picked up for more episodes, because I love working with the people who make it happen.

We went back to the hotel, watched the show I’d taped the day before, and almost immediately fell asleep afterward. We slept for another 10 hours, and took another long walk on the beach before we got back into the car to go home.

It was an absolutely perfect, beautiful day. There were some high clouds, and the sun was very warm, but the breeze off the ocean kept us cool. We were so happy and content, we didn’t want to leave, and by the time we got back to the hotel we realized that we’d walked almost eight miles.

On the way home, as we neared Ventura and were about to turn inland, leaving the ocean views to memory, I said to my wife, “This was the best birthday trip, ever. I feel totally rested, completely relaxed, and like I got all my hit points back. I really needed this. Thank you for making it happen.”

“You’re welcome. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

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61 thoughts on “How I spent my birthday”

  2. “…and like I got all my hit points back.” It was your birthday sir, you should have picked up a few more from gaining a level. Happy birthday and keep up the awesome work!

  4. The two of you are so cute that you brought a tear of happy to my eyes. BTW: congrats on now being the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything for the next year. 🙂

  11. Congrats on having a lovely birthday.
    Three Spartan cheers for Anne! AAAOOOH! AAAOOOH! AAAOOOH!
    Hope the of the week is as close to the same level of ease and non-stressed as your birthday. Peace. =)

  16. Aww that is so awesome. You are lucky to have such a wife that gets you.

  18. I just wanted to say that I saw you at the Geek and Sundry lounge on Friday (a day I was positively devastated because I thought my Con tix were for Friday and Saturday and ended up being for Saturday and Sunday). I was about 5 feet away from you and I really wanted to ask for a pic with you but at the same time wanted to respect your space and time. So, conflicted, I chose not to bother you. But thank you, and Felicia, and everyone else involved for creating such a great, welcoming environment. I was so happy to spend the afternoon at Geek and Sundry and was excited to meet Amber Benson, who I absolutely adore. So sorry that ComicCon has become an unwelcoming environment for you but I do hope you’ll continue to come so that I might have the opportunity to meet you sometime in the future.

  20. Happy birthday! Just because I’m a curious person, what restaurant did you go to?

  23. You have become The Answer To The Ultimate Question. Of course your day/weekend was Ultimately Epic.

  26. Sounds wonderful. I noticed that much of your time involved sleeping, walking and relaxing and it made me reflect that I spend many of my “special days” in a panic, running from activity to activity. Thanks for the lesson in How to Birthday.

  27. Great day. You are loved. And really that’s the part the truly matters. I enjoyed my birthday too (same day) and feel blessed.

  30. One of the sweetest birthday/couple stories I’ve read in a long time. You and Anne are an inspiration to all of us who are close to our spouses.

  33. Great birthday, and you and Anne are completely adorable. My grandparents are coming up on their 70th anniversary, and are also adorable, and you and your wife are a couple who reminds me of them, full of simple joy in family, pets, friends, and enjoying family celebrations, like birthdays, and trying to enjoy life.

  34. I really hope your wish comes true. Your show seems to get better and better each week, and I eagerly look forward to each new episode. I always try to watch it within a day of it airing, so that you get the ratings to keep it going, and I do really hope it keeps going!

  37. since you were my first two childhood crushes (gourdie lachance and wesley crusher) i cant help but be a little jealous of anne. reading this lierally put a smile on my face. you two give me hope that if i do get into a relationship it wont result in the disaster that was my parents. there is no such thing as happily ever after but you guys make it seem possible.

  42. You know you’re not supposed to tell people what you wish for, right? Or is that only a right then and there thing?

    Either way, happy birthday and I hope you get your wish!

  45. Happy Birthday, Wil! You ARE an amazing fellow (just don’t let it go to your head!) I have been following your career since ST:NG. You are loads of fun to watch (and I don’t mean that in a pervy way!)

    My roommate and I were watching your show and he said, “I don’t like the way he laughs at his own jokes.” I replied with, “You laugh at your own jokes, I laugh at my own jokes. I like the way he laughs at his own jokes, it’s like you’re hanging out with a friend and y’all are laughing at the same thing.” (Yeah, I said ‘y’all”, I’m Texan) I tossed around the idea in his head and I honestly think he liked that idea and I also noticed that he laughed harder at this last episode then he did at previous ones. Keep up the good work, Wil and thank you for sharing your birthday with us.

  47. And now, on your 42nd birthday, you have experienced the meaning of life. Happy 42 Wil. ^_^

  48. Wah! You should have issued a tissue alert on this post!
    So sweet to read about two people in love that have a good time together. Thanks for sharing, Wil.

  49. Sounds like a great day. Are you going to write a book this year? Now would be the perfect time for a great work of science fiction but then again time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

    Being your 42 birthday Wil, I was thinking you may have woke and said to yourself, “This is an interesting world I find myself in—an interesting hole I find myself in—fits me rather neatly, doesn’t it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!” – Douglas Adams

    That hoopy Wil Wheaton. There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”

    Happy 42

  50. Happy Birthday, Wil!! It sounds like it was a wonderful birthday, I hope the year is just as wonderful.

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