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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

so i throw the windows wide

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I’ve been beating myself up a little bit for not putting something new here every day, and for missing my self-imposed-but-flexible Monday deadline for Radio Free Burrito. I have a pretty great life! Why can’t I just do these simple things?

Well, if those were the only things I was doing, I would be justified in beating myself up. But those aren’t the only things I’m doing. I’m working my face off to get the RPG show up and running as production draws terrifyingly close (we have our actors coming in on Monday to create their characters! Already! I’m not in a panic! YOU’RE in a panic!)

But it’s not just the RPG show (which is about to be titled, officially) that’s making demands on me, creatively and emotionally. I’ve had to travel — well, that’s not right. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to some neat places to do some really neat things with some really neat people (fun fact: Sir Baldy hated it when we said “neat” in the old days. He never explained why. I said it a lot to troll him. It worked). I’ve had a bunch of meetings with really fancy people for some really fancy gigs. I’ve been doing a ton of work that I can’t talk about because of NDA.

I started to get anxiety just writing all of that. Sheesh.

So I give myself permission to accept that my creative output isn’t going to be writing stories and telling stories and adding something new to my blog every day. I give myself permission to miss a deadline on a podcast, because I’m making it for my own entertainment and hopefully some people come along for the ride. I mean, it’s free and everything.

One of the reasons I can give myself a little bit of a break was the realization, this morning while I was waiting for my coffee to brew, that I have told tons of stories and written hundreds of thousands of words here in my blog for over ten years, almost every day. That’s a really long time, on a really aggressive schedule, to create stuff. So if my creative energy is pointed away from my blog for a little bit, that’s okay. This isn’t a job. This is … well, it’s a lot of things, but it isn’t a job.

Help me out, here, Internet: what is this, again?

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19 March, 2015 Wil

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86 thoughts on “so i throw the windows wide”

  1. Andrew says:
    19 March, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    I VERY much love your blog and am super sad when I don’t see it updated as often as I’d like. But thankfully I pause and remember the key words there are “I’d like”. You provide us all with free entertainment and we love you for it and we are super happy to get it when we get it, but we definitely want you do the things that make you happy and right now your life is not as much in the blog space of interwebs.

    So thank you for all you do here and we love you for every sentence you are up to giving us.

  2. Singing Paladin (@SingingPaladin) says:
    20 March, 2015 at 4:44 am

    It’s not a job. It’s a jib.

    And we like the cut of yours.

  3. John Lach says:
    20 March, 2015 at 5:57 am

    Wil,

    Do the stuff you can be paid for so we can get the free stuff. Besides I thought creativity can’t/shouldn’t be forced to a schedule.

  4. SDSwmr says:
    20 March, 2015 at 6:15 am

    What is it? Our window into your thoughts. For me, since I don’t listen to podcasts, or look at Tumblr, or Twitter (more than once a month, esp. now that Leonard Nimoy has died — except that you turned me on to Twitter), your blog is it for me. I’ve learned a lot about other topics, subjects and books — too many to name — and have felt connected. It’s ok if you post less regularly. The posts are worth it. I’ve loved seeing how your career has taken off again during these past 10 years (you’ve put so much work into it!) and reading the blog reminds me to pay attention to my own career. I’ve loved reading the stories, especially in the early days, and kick myself regularly that I missed your reading at Mysterious Galaxy, here in San Diego. I’ll love reading whatever you post.

  5. Vorp says:
    20 March, 2015 at 6:17 am

    ‘So I give myself permission to accept that my creative output isn’t going to be writing stories and telling stories and adding something new to my blog every day. I give myself permission to miss a deadline on a podcast’

    Good. It can be hard to give ourselves permission to say, ‘You know, that’s not going to happen right now and that’s okay.’ Good on you for realize that you are doing plenty and sometimes enough is enough.

    Enjoy yourself, darn it. You’re the only you you’ve got. 🙂

  6. Gina says:
    20 March, 2015 at 7:09 am

    NJN – You’re fine.

  7. Seana L Purvis says:
    20 March, 2015 at 7:34 am

    Non judgmental ninja says allow all things to come and go.

  8. Sam says:
    20 March, 2015 at 8:10 am

    What is this? Another creative outlet where you can get feedback.
    Yes, I miss your daily posts but sometimes the work that pays the bills must come first.

  9. l says:
    20 March, 2015 at 8:25 am

    a community of like minded individuals that your words and stories created and brought together over the last decade; personally, i think that is a very special accomplishment and one you should be proud of. with that being said, if you need a break right now then take one, just please don’t go away forever. and remember, all these people think you are awesome… because you are.

  10. Dave Harvey says:
    20 March, 2015 at 8:50 am

    You are doing a lot of cool things Wil! I enjoy your posts and I think one of the main reasons your “ramblings” are so popular is that you are one of us. Your faults or struggles or issues are happily and publicly married to your mad skills, passion, and sense of humanity. You are openly one of us happily disfunctional (sorry but that is only in reference to the pretend normal world paradigm) geeks or whatever the hell we are cause I hate labels. .

    Ummm …..to segway can I just say that I am beyond ramped up for Tabletop Day 2015. We just had a warm up game night for people volunteering at my event and/or coming to play and/or spread the word. The energy was palpable and awesome. In our little town boardgaming has grown and our monthly gaming event has grown so much and ITTD and Tabletop has been really helpful in seeding that.

    Thanks for your hard work and commitment on the show and our Christmas for gamers in April. I cant imagine the work that goes into it and what it takes but it is appreciated. I know you have discussed how you want to fund the next season and had expressed thoughts of not crowd funding. I hope you do. Its a wonderful thing for all of us to be part of it. I also like cutting out all the middle man capitalism stuff and my money goes straight to what I care about. Its pretty damn awesome how the campaign went last year and I would be really excited to be see another campaign again this year.

    Piece, Love and Boardgames,
    David Harvey

  11. ramallama says:
    20 March, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Well a small observation. This is a way some stars get lost. You forget to connect with your base. A lot of your current successes are based upon being ‘one of us’. And that is because of your blog and techy exposure. Just be careful not to get so hung up in your current successes that you forget where you came from.

  12. Molly says:
    20 March, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Hey Wil, it’s ok, we’re not the boss of you. It’s great when you post something new, but it’s also great when you do other stuff like the awesome CAH Tabletop which came out yesterday. We can get our Wil Fill from lots of places. 🙂 So take your time and recharge, we’ll still be here.

  13. andrewdavidmitchell says:
    20 March, 2015 at 11:33 am

    It’s a regular reminder that I was SO WRONG not being a fan of yours during Next Generation!

    Fortunately, my wife’s cousin introduced me to your blog many years ago (before it moved into exile) and I was able to repent of my foolishness.

  14. The Cookie Lady says:
    20 March, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    I just started my blog, and I hardly ever post anything! I not as busy as you are, though. How do you handle it all and kee your head on straight? This post has helped me a lot! Thanks for the kick in the keister!

  15. Will says:
    20 March, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Wil,

    Honestly dude, I have no idea how you’ve been able to keep up with the schedule you’ve had of late, and frankly, you’ve done really well.

    Cut yourself just a little bit of slack. jobs that pay bills come first. Take it from a mild mannered convenience store clerk by day, and moderate blogger, and podcaster by days off when possible.

    Life happens. And, we enjoy the content we do get when you have time to put it out. Now, in your words… “Play MORE Games!!!”

  16. lila says:
    20 March, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    “Well, if those were the only things I was doing, I would be justified in beating myself up.”

    nope, sorry, you still wouldn’t be justified in beating yourself up. njn calls foul! 🙂

  17. karen says:
    20 March, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    This is you, graciously sharing some of your life with us. Me? Frankly, I am grateful when you are able to share. And thrilled that you are so busy. So, no worries and no guilt, ok?

  18. sorakirei says:
    20 March, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    You are living your life to the fullest!!! Thank you for sharing part of your life with us. Keep doing your thing. We’ll be here waiting to read what’s next whenever it shows up.

  19. MM9U says:
    21 March, 2015 at 1:55 am

    We will wait for you. You’ve earned that from us.

  20. Simon M says:
    21 March, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    It’s your mouthpiece into the world. If you have nothing to say, or no time to say it, it stands silent. We’ll keep checking in, to see if you had something to say this week, and if not, we’ll wait. Until the heat death of the universe….go plot your course, Sparks.

  21. Jamie says:
    22 March, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Wil – why aren’t you in the game Family Guy – Quest for
    Stuff Star Trek event? Most TNG cast members are playing along. Please answer this burning question!!

  22. bob says:
    22 March, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Life is good when the number of things you have the opportunity to do exceeds the number of things you have time to do. It’s when that gets inverted that life becomes uninteresting.

    Celebrate the bounty and keep rockin!

  23. David Pew says:
    22 March, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Your generosity with your fans, followers and devotees is unparalleled. My hope is that it is matched only by the devotion you show to your family and friends. By makin the monies to provide; by giving time where it is most needed.

    I hope this because you are a hero of mine, and in my worldview, this is something heroes do.

  24. Shawn Bremaud says:
    23 March, 2015 at 8:48 am

    This? This is whatever you want or need it to be. We’re just along for the excellent company.

  25. squirt says:
    23 March, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Never expected but always hoped for and appreciated

  26. angelrings says:
    23 March, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    What it is is fun, for you, and for us. Enjoy, and don’t stress about it. Be glad you have enough other j-o-bs that your time is at a premium and must be invested wisely. Think of all the times that wasn’t true. And we will still love you, whether you post daily, weekly, or monthly. 🙂

  27. Patrick says:
    24 March, 2015 at 3:19 am

    You are hear-by formally excused because well, we love what you do whatever it is and whenever you do it. Here’s to the next 10 years. (A virtual clink of beer glasses together).

  28. Julie says:
    24 March, 2015 at 7:24 am

    This is your playground. It’ll still be here when you need it.

  29. lisa says:
    24 March, 2015 at 10:22 pm

    remembering to give your self permission is so important. i had to remind myself this same thing just this afternoon.

  30. Jado says:
    25 March, 2015 at 7:30 am

    This is a favor. You share yourself with us as a favor, because it sometimes helps you clarify your thinking. But mostly because you really like us.

    But it’s definitely a favor, which we struggle to return. We hope our participation in some way makes up for your efforts in sharing with us.

  31. Justin says:
    26 March, 2015 at 5:45 am

    Fun! It’s supposed to be fun god damn it.

    Or as Crash Davis in Bull Durham said:
    “Relax, have a ball out here. This game’s fun, okay? Fun, God damn it.”

  32. Natasha says:
    27 March, 2015 at 9:46 am

    This is: cool for us. And should be fun for you, if life and stuff make it not fun, don’t do it. We’ll still love you. I came looking for a new RFB but if you’ve got other (potentially cooler) things to do, I can wait. I’ll probably watch, read, listen to, play or other verb necessary, whatever other project you work on if I can. Good job giving yourself permission and keep doing it! We wont judge as all the comments show.

  33. Jeff says:
    7 April, 2015 at 3:11 am

    Life. It’s the thing that’s happening when you think there is nothing happening. 🙂

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