WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

so i throw the windows wide

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I’ve been beating myself up a little bit for not putting something new here every day, and for missing my self-imposed-but-flexible Monday deadline for Radio Free Burrito. I have a pretty great life! Why can’t I just do these simple things?

Well, if those were the only things I was doing, I would be justified in beating myself up. But those aren’t the only things I’m doing. I’m working my face off to get the RPG show up and running as production draws terrifyingly close (we have our actors coming in on Monday to create their characters! Already! I’m not in a panic! YOU’RE in a panic!)

But it’s not just the RPG show (which is about to be titled, officially) that’s making demands on me, creatively and emotionally. I’ve had to travel — well, that’s not right. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to some neat places to do some really neat things with some really neat people (fun fact: Sir Baldy hated it when we said “neat” in the old days. He never explained why. I said it a lot to troll him. It worked). I’ve had a bunch of meetings with really fancy people for some really fancy gigs. I’ve been doing a ton of work that I can’t talk about because of NDA.

I started to get anxiety just writing all of that. Sheesh.

So I give myself permission to accept that my creative output isn’t going to be writing stories and telling stories and adding something new to my blog every day. I give myself permission to miss a deadline on a podcast, because I’m making it for my own entertainment and hopefully some people come along for the ride. I mean, it’s free and everything.

One of the reasons I can give myself a little bit of a break was the realization, this morning while I was waiting for my coffee to brew, that I have told tons of stories and written hundreds of thousands of words here in my blog for over ten years, almost every day. That’s a really long time, on a really aggressive schedule, to create stuff. So if my creative energy is pointed away from my blog for a little bit, that’s okay. This isn’t a job. This is … well, it’s a lot of things, but it isn’t a job.

Help me out, here, Internet: what is this, again?

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19 March, 2015 Wil

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pages upon pages → ← we have fun

86 thoughts on “so i throw the windows wide”

  1. LJ Michael says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    This is Wil Wheaton. That’s what this is.

  2. moemipuntnl says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    It’s that thing people call ‘life’?

  3. Truffle (@theweatherKat) says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Its a Creative Outlet where you share thoughts. Its done on YOUR schedule, Not ours.

    1. Davys (@Davys) says:
      19 March, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      I’ll second that statement!!!

  4. JC says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    I find writing it out loud helps… Did it work for you? Now you have me excited to see what is coming down the pipeline. Relax ,enjoy the coffee, and stay sane… or not (0;

  5. beowuff says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    As long as you are enjoying where your creativity is currently being directed, I think we can all take a break from you once in awhile. Of course, we’ll be totally filled with “Antici…”

  6. Belinda says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    Don’t worry sometime life gets in the way. You will have time later. So don’t stress about being busy with work just get on with it and come back when you can.

  7. Ria says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    This – is fun!
    Maybe “Old Baldy” didn’t like the use of “neat” because he knew the archaic meaning: a bovine animal

    1. thomasmhewlett says:
      20 March, 2015 at 9:01 am

      Perhaps he was a scotch drinker and preferred his drinks “neat.” But only his drinks.

  8. xnedra2 says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Your creativity batteries are being filled by another source at this time. The blog and podcast will be here and waiting when you are ready, and we’ll be waiting as well.

    Speaking for myself, I’m damn happy you are so busy! You deserve it because you have earned it on your own merits.

  9. Eternal Scott-man says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    I believe the word you are looking for, Mr Wheaton, is “hobby”. You are in a not-so-common position of having a hobby that happens to reach an audience of more than just people-at-arms-reach, which does increase the pressure and anxiety, but I don’t think that changes what it is.

  10. ambignostic says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    What is this? This is freakin’ awesome.

  11. jenfullmoon says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Dude, just do stuff when you get it done. We’ll live.

  12. Sara Kopling says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    You are sharing with the whole world what is (& isn’t) awesome in your life. All while dealing with the attention whore of an elephant in the room, depression. Thanks for what you are and what you do and all that you do share- when you can get to it. It’s neat. Never forget that you rock.

  13. wawb says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    -pation

  14. davromega says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    It is a series of letters to your future self.

  15. Doug Lindstrom says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    decompression chamber I should think

  16. timmyson says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Just because it’s free doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value.

    Do what you need to do, but don’t write off what you’re doing, it’s good stuff.

  17. Raven Stromdans says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    Catharsis?

  18. T'Mihn says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    šŸ™‚ Its called ya gotta great job, bro. Don’t worry about the blog and something new on it each day. We’re not going anywhere. Use that time to recharge, RELAX, hang out with Anne and the kids.,sleep (do you do that?; ) job.) Seriously, the stuff that pays your rent and feeds the family and keeps ya healthy is much more important.

    Maybe ask US to give you something new each day.;)

  19. snarke (@snarke) says:
    19 March, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    It’s a gift. Thank you for it šŸ™‚

  20. Maggie Smith says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    It’s an intimate connection to your fans is what it is. You let us in and we connect with you as a real person. And we are grateful for what we get. When your connection becomes tedious, that is when we lose, so do what you have to do to keep this as something you Wish to do and something that is useful to you. Sometimes you need a break. It’s cool. We’ll still be here.

  21. Kelly says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    You never have to apologize, mister. I enjoy everything you post whenever it pleases you to post it. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

  22. PrivateCitizen (@PrivateCitizen9) says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Therapy

    1. Fin Alyn says:
      19 March, 2015 at 4:01 pm

      Nailed it in one.

  23. bbqchick says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Take the opportunity to enjoy all the creative experiences.. there’s always time to write about them in the future.

  24. Trey says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Today’s CAH TableTop episode more than makes up for any self-perceived creative deficiencies. Laughed so hard.

  25. lis says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Nonjudgemental Ninja (what happened to him? haven’t seen him around for awhile) says, “It’s ok.”

  26. Dungeon Master says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    Roll a D20 character saving throw versus Paralyzation

  27. Mackenzie says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    It’s just this fun thing you do. It’s not suppose to be a chore. Relax. I think we all would rather have you do an awesome job at the other creative stuff your working on than draining yourself on the blog and podcast.

  28. jaycolvin says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    That’s easy. This is unmitigated awesomeness

  29. wabbit89 says:
    19 March, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    It’s your blog. Yours. It belongs to you. You do not belong to it. It’s okay to let your creativity go in other directions, Wil. As long as it goes somewhere. If it stops altogether, that’s different, as that’s usually a sign that the brain demons are eating us (Don’t let them! They’re lying bastards!), but as long as you’re doing something, or even a little bit of nothing because rest matters, too: enter non-judgemental ninja it’s OKAY.

  30. Fin Alyn says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    It’s part creative outlet, part explaining yourself to people so that they really understand where you are coming from, but mostly it’s therapy. It’s you helping you, through writing for others.

  31. Radhil says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    … and call to you across the sky….

    (shrug I’m a fan, thought it was required)

    Call as you like. We’ll holler back. That’s enough.

  32. linksmonkey says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    I heart the blog & the podcast, but the paying gigs keep the electricity on, the water running & the heat/AC going in Castle Wheaton. Do the food/clothing/shelter thing & we’ll be here when you get back – it’s ok.

  33. whittycisms says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    I think the word you’re looking for is fun?

  34. startrekkin says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    Dear Mr. Wheaton,

    On your last episode of The Burrito, you asked us, the listeners/readers of the blog to leave comments on your stories.

    First off…you need to do more stories like that. I really enjoyed hearing them. šŸ™‚ Because of those stories and other authors I’ve been reading lately (Laurie Notaro is a favorite right now), I’ve decided that for April’s Camp NaNoWriMo I’m going to do a book of essays based on my own life.

    You see, Mr. Wheaton, I like to think that my life has been anything but ordinary. I grew up dirt poor, got married at 20 and for the first few years of my marriage held a string of low paying, dead end, wage slave retail jobs while supporting a husband who is also a retail wage slave but also:
    –a volunteer search and rescue team member
    –a volunteer firefighter
    –a volunteer for our local fire dept in their “rehab” department (rehab goes out on scene with the trucks to provide snacks, drinks and most importantly, a bathroom and medical monitoring for the firefighters themselves)
    –a grass roots politician

    And as if all that wasn’t crazy enough, we have a son who not only has ADHD but is also a high functioning autistic (Asperger’s isn’t even technically a definition anymore, thankyouverymuch DSM-IV or V or whatever version they’re on now) with a lot of the usual problems that go along with autism: hypotonia (chronic low muscle tone), sensory issues, apraxia (a speech disorder), dyspraxia (body coordination problems), anxiety and dyscalculia (think dyslexia, but with numbers and math concepts–something I myself suffer from). It’s challenging. It’s not at all what you’d think parenthood was gonna be like when you have a sweet little mutant (he was born with 6 fingers on one hand) baby in your arms.

    And as having to deal with all of THAT on a daily basis wasn’t enough, I also have my own demons to deal with–crippling anxiety and depression which has, on occasion, knocked me flat on my fucking ass.

    I think that these are things that people would like to read about and could relate to because there is, somewhere in all of that, humor. Being able to laugh is sometimes the only way I keep from crying like a baby.

    So thank you for inspiring me, Mr. Wheaton.

  35. pandorasdadca says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Hopefully, it’s a thing that lets you blow off steam from the stress of you jobs. And fun. Yeah, hopefully it’s fun.

  36. Spudnuts says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Put Bil on.

  37. me says:
    19 March, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    It is you connecting to the world so that the world can connect with itself and in turn feel less lonely. Thank you for being you.

  38. Michael Kelleher says:
    19 March, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    This is: a man balancing his time wisely between the people who helped him get where he is (family), the person who did most of the heavy lifting (himself), and the stuff he was fortunate enough to learn how to make money at (his job). No apologies.

  39. Alain says:
    19 March, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    It’s a wonderful window into your brain, your life and your art, that you share with us all. And I thank you for it.

  40. Janet says:
    19 March, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    It’s “That Thing You Do”

  41. Tesha says:
    19 March, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    This is Sparta! Um, wait, that’s not right. … this is our independence day…nope, still not right. …hmmmm this isyour fracking blog, your facing rules…. that’s it!

  42. elayneriggs says:
    19 March, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    I had a friend who used to say it’s genetic imperative, but she said that about writing (actually creativity) in general, not blogging in specific…

  43. Ian Fitzgerald says:
    19 March, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Just keep excited and making things.

  44. Jason says:
    19 March, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Wasn’t this place for your army of 50,000 typing monkeys?

    gasp

    You’ve had us fooled for years, thinking you were commanding a monkey army to put things on your blog! Well played, Mister Wheaton!

    In all seriousness, this blog always just seemed to be the place where you would flex your creativity and share stuff you thought was cool with the Intermets, and it’s a pretty neat place.

  45. Mizadele says:
    19 March, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    I would call this your pensieve.
    You add to it what thoughts and memories you wish, whenever you feel the need.
    Your generosity in allowing us to share these moments is a gift we are grateful for and don’t wish you to feel burdened to provide.

  46. Tonia says:
    19 March, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    To poorly paraphrase Neil Gaiman, Wil Wheaton, like GRR Martin, is not our bitch.

  47. Nan Roberts says:
    19 March, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    This is FUN. THIS IS NOT A JOB.

  48. Alan Oursland says:
    19 March, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Take care of yourself and your family first. The world will still be here.

  49. Margaret says:
    19 March, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    This? Is scriptotherapy and connection. It’s a written record documenting your adventures, and you’re gracious enough to share it with us. It’s light and music and tiny glimpses, in list form. It’ll ebb and flow, as it does… all cups need to be refilled. And we’re not leaving. I’ve been your fan for almost 30 years, the Hell I’m going anywhere. šŸ™‚

  50. Sabre Runner says:
    19 March, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    This is your very own, self run, self produced, self entitled, private stage on the internet. If you take a break, take a sabbatical or even shut it down completely is entirely up to you.

    I have my own such stage and it has seen decreased updates lately because I’m working on a video game and we’re going into crunch time so I’ve been putting in 10, 11 and 12 hour days to get it ready.

    It’s just what happens.

    And when you’re ready with the next update, my Reader will let me know. The rest is entirely up to you.

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