Last night, our dog, Riley, died. Today would have been her thirteenth birthday.
Riley had a long and wonderful life. She lived much longer than the person who locked her in a closet at a motel that was being torn down thought she would, and though she could be a huge pain in the ass, she was an important part of our family.
Riley was anxious and nervous to the point of being neurotic. She was terrified of the garden hose, had terrible arthritis in all of her joints, and was almost completely deaf. Still, she was happy these last few months, getting to sleep on a the couch whenever she wanted, or sleeping at my feet while I worked in my office. She didn’t want to play very much, but when she did I’d swear she was ten years younger. She still liked to take walks, but she was slow and stayed so close to Anne and me, she hadn’t needed a leash for almost a year.
She wasn’t crazy about Marlowe, and I think Marlowe knew it. Marlowe has so much energy, I think she sort of scared Riley, who was brittle and nervous as a result of it. But Marlowe always tried to help calm Riley down. She would lick her face and nuzzle her all the time, and she stayed out of Riley’s way the rest of the time.
Riley was the last direct connection we had to Ryan and Nolan’s childhoods. She has been part of their lives for so long, through so much and so many things, they lost a member of their family even more intensely than I did, and I have a huge IMADOG hole in my heart right now.
I want to take a second and share a moment Riley and I had several years ago, right after our dog Ferris had died. I was alone in our house because Anne was out of town, Ryan was in college, and Nolan was busy being a teenager. Ferris had died the day before, practically in my arms, in the lobby of the vet:
I saw Ferris’ empty dish last night when I fed Riley, and it unleashed an agonizing wave of sadness so overwhelming, I dropped to the floor in our living room and cried as hard and as long as I ever have in my life.
After she was finished eating, Riley came over to me and sniffed at my face. Through my tears and gasping sobs, I told her it was okay, I just missed Ferris a lot and I was sad.
She rubbed her face against my cheek and trotted into the family room. A moment later, she returned with her soggy tennis ball, which she gently put into my lap. She looked up at me, and then walked into the corner of the family room, where she picked up her rope – her favorite toy, which she brings with her to the front door whenever we come home – and brought it over to me. She set it on the ground next to me, and then laid down and put her head in my lap. I cried for a good long time, but I was comforted by Riley’s actions, even if I’m projecting my own feelings onto her. I felt like she could tell I was grieving, so she brought me the things that make her happy, before letting me cry on her until the fur on her neck was soaked with my tears. When I finally stopped, mostly because I was physically and emotionally exhausted, I felt a tiny bit better.
Riley was a pain in the ass sometimes. She was complicated, damaged, and difficult, but she was ultimately a sweet and loving member of our family.
I really miss her, and her terrible breath, and that wonderfully derpy look on her face that always said “IMADOG!”
Bye bye, piles. I love you.
A small request: if you choose to comment, please don’t post that Rainbow Bridge thing. I know you mean well, but it has always made me uncomfortable.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are and I know I will be there again and no matter how many times it happens, it hurts like the dickens every single time. Our furbabies are family and they are with us for far too short a time. Riley was such a sweet lovable and wonderful dog. Thank you for sharing her story with us. Rest in peace, Riley.
I will try really hard to avoid platitudes. I know your pain – and I’m so sorry for you, Anne and the rest of the family. Fur babies are SO much more than pets – people who don’t have them don’t get that. You bring so much joy into so many people’s lives – and I hope the fact that you’re hurting and sharing that with us helps you, at least a little bit. My virtual hugs and wishes for peace for all of you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Pets are the best, and Riley brought an innocent joy to the world that always brightened my Twitter feed. May memories of Riley always bring happiness to you and your family.
Wil,
Sending you a big long bear hug (virtually of course).
-gil
My condolences.
My heart breaks for you. I understand. I’ve been there more often than I care to say. I’ve wept with a still head in my lap, caressing tear covered fur. Many warm thoughts to you. I know how anguishing it can be.
Ok dude. It is not cool to cry at work, which I am doing. I hope no one needs me to answer any questions for a bit.
Dogs (and cats) leave hole i your heart when they leave, but they also leave you with a bigger heart than you had before they came. We are better for having had them in our lives, if even for a short time.
I am so sorry. I know that pain. It is the price we pay for loving things with shorter lives than ourselves. It’s worth it but it is still a high price. I hope this isn’t to rainbow bridge-y but what gives me comfort is thinking of when I get to heaven. All the cats I’ve ever loved will come running up to me and I’m going to sit right down there on the ground in heaven and snorgle them all!!
Hey, just wanted to leave a note of condolences. Your Riley sounded a lot like my sweet Molly, who died last Monday. The waves of grief still come. The Rainbow bridge stuff and such make me uncomfortable too. I guess because I am atheist, so it doesn’t make ME feel better, seems to be more to make the person writing it feel better, like they helped. Generally I just let it go, but I am with you on it feeling uncomfortable.
Just know that our sweet, neurotic, pain in the ass pups were given better lives than most, and were loved to the very end, deeply and completely.. and I really believe that they knew. hugs
I went through the exact same thing this weekend. I lost my Bailey late Friday night. So sorry for your loss, Wil.
You gave Riley the best life ever, and she gave you many happy memories. She left her mark on your heart, and on all of those who shared the laughter of your “IMADOG” posts. A well loved, sweet girl, whose journey is at an end. Her doggy soul at peace knowing that she brought a smile to so many, but the most happiness to her family.
Losing furry family is awful. I am so very sorry for your family’s loss.
My condolences. I’ve been where you are and will be again I know.
I love your comment that she brought things to you that make her
happy. They know. They really do.
Hi Wil and Anne- Even though I have never met you or your pets, my heart is breaking for you. I have loved seeing Riley’s little face in your tweets. Thank you for being such a wonderful pet parent and taking such good care of them. Sending you and your family lots of warm thoughts and good vibes. ((hugs))
I’m so sorry, Wil. I wish you all the best in this difficult time.
Wil, what do you have against Heimdall. Nothing wrong with believing your pets are girded for battle against the Svartálfar, awaiting your leadership.
Thanks for giving her the home she deserved.
Dogs, for better or worse, evoke the best parts of us when we love them. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. Reading your tribute, I’m reminded of Kipling’s The Power of the Dog.
Stranger, my thoughts are with you. It’s never easy to lose a loved one, especially one who becomes so much a part of your heart and daily routine.
Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family.
Sorry to hear that Wil. I went through the same thing a few months ago and it was extremely difficult to deal with life for awhile.
My thoughts are with you.
When I read your post that Riley had passed I couldn’t believe it, thinking “But we just got an IMADOG picture two days ago.” I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to the whole Wheaton clan. Riley sounds a lot like my dog Callie. She’s a rescue with huge anxiety and separation issues. She’s mostly deaf from being beaten as puppy and our home was her last chance at 8 months old after being unsuccessfully placed several times. She’s challenging, but super sweet with a huge smile and I know that as frustrating as it is sometimes for her to be under foot trying to stay close (I am unquestionably her human) I will miss her more than words can express when her time comes. She’s 5 so I have some time. Riley is lucky to have gotten so much time with such loving pet people. I hope that the humans and pets around you all provide comfort to each other as Riley did for you when Ferris passed.
I’m so sorry for your loss Wil. We lost our Shelty, Rocky, a couple of years ago now. We have a picture of him hanging on our wall. He was a good old dog who lived to be 12. We also have our old man, Chico, in the house and he will be 13 this year I believe. I know when he passes it will be very hard on the family, we’ve had him since he was just a few months old. I’ve had some wonderful pets in my life, and I only hope that when my time comes that I’ll see them waiting for me, a ball or rope or even just a dopey look of love because I’ve been able to be back with them. Keep strong and think on the good times.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to lose a best friend.
Just know that you gave her the very best life that you could.
(I don’t believe in heaven, but if it exists, I’d really like to go to doggie heaven when I die. Spend eternity giving cuddles, belly rubs and butt scratches. And eternity surrounded by humans doesn’t appeal at all.)
First – what a lovely tribute to a much loved family member.
Second – that rainbow bridge crap freaks me out
Third – I am truly sorry for the loss to your entire family. Pets loves us, frustrate us, piss us off, make us smile and add so much to our daily life. It is their lack of a Universal Translator that can be so hard to deal with.
My thoughts are with you,Anne, Ryan, Nolan and all the critters in your life. My Maine Coons, Reilly and Miss Sprite, send purrs your way.
Wil,
So sorry for your loss. As someone with no children our dogs have always been our children we lost two really close to each other about four years ago and when I see their collar’s on the mantel I still tear up. Take time to heal.
My sincerest and heart felt condolences are with you, we recently lost our two golden retrievers a few months apart, sisters from the same litter – its heart wrenching – yet so lucky were we to have them in our lives.
I always think, “they’re just a dog” and then my “just a dog” succumbs to old age and it breaks my heart. Hang in there little buddy, it will get easier.
Wow. The timing on this is eerie. I’m in the process of scheduling an appointment to put our 16 year old American Eskimo to sleep. She was crazy, independent and awesome. Sadly now old age has crept in and she is none of those things. She can barely stand. I’ve been concentrating so hard on preparing my kids and arranging everything, I haven’t felt anything. Yet your post sent me into tears. I probably needed that. So thank you for sharing. Thank you for making me feel the feels I probably should not have been ignoring. Thank you for making me feel less alone at such a crappy time. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry you are going through this, I’m sorry you have lost her. I’m sorry you are grieving and my thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. Much love.
The first time I lost a dog I was shocked at the grief I felt and naively resolved never to love a dog again. I was young and foolish. The IMADOG shaped hole in my heart must always be filled with a new friend when the inevitable happens. Every sweet day with a dog contributes to my character and to my ability to love and cherish the two-legged people around me. I am truly sorry for your grief. I hold you in high esteem because you understand the worth of a dog.
Oh, Wil, I’m so sorrry. Dogs love us too large and leave us too soon. Best wishes and sympathy to all the Wheatons, two- and four-legged.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
People who have never owned a pet and lost a part of their family will not understand what you are going through. We lost our precious Candy girl (Golden Retriever) last year and we still miss her dearly. We have not been able to get another dog because none could ever replace her. But I know that sometime we will have a dog again and love her just as much. But the pain is just unbearable sometimes.
I am glad you rescued Riley and gave her the life she deserved.
I am so sorry for your loss, Wil. I remember that absolutely heart wrenching, soul crushing feeling when I lost my best furry friend Jinkx many, many years ago. Hang in there.
There is no more pure love than that that can be found between a pet and their person, and it’s heartbreaking to lose a member of your family. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Sugar the rottie mix, who showed up on our porch battered and desperately I’ll, was or last link to childhood for my 5. It was hard on the older kids when our yorkies passed… But Sugar was their guardian, playmate and comfort. It’s been nearly 4 years and only now are we ready to plant her ashes with this year’s flower garden.
My heart is with you. Pets are so much to us… They’re the best of what we wish humans could be.
Condolences
As someone who also has several four-footed, furry, family members, you have my deepest sympathies. I understand what you’re feeling, and you’re not alone.
I am so terribly sorry. Best wishes for peace and strength for you and your family.
My family and I went through this twice last year. I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss…pets are members of the family, and the pure love they express for their people is one of the most wonderful things I know. My thoughts are with you.
I’m so deeply sorry. I know my pets are family members and it’s so mind blowingly difficult and heart wrenching to say goodbye. I always wish I could slow time and give them just one more kiss and hug. I’ll be thinking of your family today. Take care.
Sorry for your loss. I’ll miss IMADOG. The empty rug shot on Twitter got me right in the feels. .
I’m so sorry Wil. This pain will pass, and you will be left with the joyful memories that Riley brought to your family’s life. My thoughts are with you. You are not alone this time.
Heartbreaking… I’m so sorry. The last line got me — my ex and I call our dog Kyle “piles” as well, and he’s going to be following Riley soon.
So sorry to hear about your loss.
We’ve been through a few pets (all rats when the kids were really small) and our dogs are just 5 and 7 years old, but I am not looking forward to that time when they leave us forever.
It will be a sad day.
My thoughts are with you.
hug
Some dogs souls shine through with all the love they have been given. It over rides the trauma, and gives back twofold. Wil your family is so blessed to have had this beautiful creature in your life. And I am so sorry for the deep sorrow you feel. Hug.
that’s terrible! my cat died last year, at the age of 17. I still see her sitting on her shelf, or on her place on the sofa. I miss her so much
Ahhh, that’s always tough. Sorry to hear this, Mr. Wil, best wishes to you and your family.
So sorry to hear about Riley. It was good that she lived with so much love before she died.
My ZackDog also had FANTASTIC derp IMADOG face. He died last summer and I still miss him all the time.
Hugs for the entire family.
Thank you for sharing both of those personal moments with us. It’s indescribably difficult to lose a furry family member. My thoughts are with you and your family.
My only experience was with my cat, Sassy, whom I had grown up with from age 9 to 26. My mom and I hugged each other as we cried and my uncle was so upset he wouldn’t even come with us to the vet. She, like your Riley, had also been a pain in the ass, but she was MY pain in the ass, and I loved her for it.