This has been on my mind for the last few days, as I’ve watched a loud and determined bunch of unhappy people do their best to make happy and successful people feel as bad as they do.
Everyone who becomes a fully-functioning adult — every single one of us — goes through a time in our lives when we are a shit. The difference between shitty adults and awesome adults is growing out of that. Take charge of your life, and make changes to make yourself happier and improve your relationships with people who aren’t dickwagons.
Having committed to making those changes in your life, resist the urge to fall back with an old crowd who will drag you back into old patterns. Time you spend with people who are shits is time you are not spending with people who are awesome, and when an awesome person sees you with a shit, that’s one more awesome person who you didn’t have an opportunity to bring into your life.
Life is too short to be a shit, and you tend to attract to your life what you offer in return. So if you look around yourself and discover that you’re surrounded by shits, change that as quickly as you can. It may not be easy (in fact, it won’t be easy, at first), but I promise you that you’ll be happier when you do.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
“Life is too short to be a shit, and you tend to attract to your life what you offer in return. So if you look around yourself and discover that you’re surrounded by shits, change that as quickly as you can”
Dunno, Wil. I tend to think that if everyone around you is an asshole it means YOU’RE the asshole.
Ummm… Yeah… that would be the point, wouldn’t it. How did you not get that?
The antecedent for “that” is the “surrounded by shits” and that’s not what needs changing.
I think though, that even if you’re an asshole, if you look around you and see that you’re surrounded by assholes, you’re an asshole that has developed self awareness and thus can now move away from continuing to be an asshole.
Hear hear!
If Wil would have said, “Everyone around me is an asshole”, I would agree completely. He did not. Did not even imply it. If you’re going to attempt to use someones’ words to belittle them, it’s probably a good idea to use words they actually said-people tend to see through that sort of 20th century chicanery.
That indeed, is the point. Once that realization is made, change that fact.
You are wise beyond your years and very correct. I’m not a Bible type person, but I do know that the quote from Proverbs is correct. “You are the company you keep.”
I am a mother to a tween and a teen- when they are being jerks or arguing incessantly I simply shout ‘Wheaton’s Law!’ and walk away to let them work it out. Tonight I will take the time to sit down with them and have them read this. Thanks Wil, for being one of the awesome people.
Oddly, we’ve noticed that something in the general atmosphere or some universal setting has set assholes to intense the last couple of weeks. They’re very hard to avoid right now, so I hear what you’re saying.
I have only one question about your post…is a dickwagon a wagon for a dick or “of dicks”, because I need to get the visual straight.
Don’t let the fucknoses get you down. Pick ‘m and get rid of ‘m.
My assumption was that it was something like the Weinermobile. An enormous dick that is also a wagon.
And you’re such a good dad…….
apparently I am blocked?
So…in other words “Don’t be a dick”. I think some guy said that once.
Who you are is always to a degree a function of who you are with. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life, not because they are bad, but because the only role for you to play around them is a bad one.
Wheaton’s Law: “Don’t be a Dick!” Wheaton’s Amended Law: “Don’t be a Dick! And don’t hang around with a Dick!”
But you are leaving out, that oneself being a shining beacon of awesome will CHANGE the shits around you into awesome people. If being around awesome people helps you to be awesone, than please dont forget you must preform that role for the shits tryibg to become awesome and help them just as those awesome people helped you when oneself was a shit!
I have to reply to this, because this was a belief I held before I understood a few things. People will not change if they do not, or will not, see any issues in themselves, no matter how many decades you hang in there. Some people take any loving criticism of behavior, or even standing up for one’s self, as a personal attack on their character, and become aggressively defensive and hateful in response. Judgement is perceived, and given as reason when informing everyone. But it is not judgement, not of the person; some of us understand that the behavior is deep and old, ingrained and trained, in unhealthy, oftentimes aggressive, ways. Such is the nature of the world’s darkest issues; they’re ancient, and so many people don’t seem to see the clear markers of their advancement, throughout our well known history, and instead, assign blame to modern men. We are not responsible for what was done to us, for the world we were born into, but we are responsible for the massive and rewarding process of purging all the crap. The crap that isn’t True to Us, that isn’t serving us, that’s hurting us and others. If a person is abusive or toxic, and they refuse to face that, and to actively work on fixing it, we owe it to ourselves and to our children to walk away from them. It’s not abandonment, it’s survival.
Transform the shits into gold. That’s what Jeebus would have done. And kick the moneylenders out of the temple… for the sake of the People, and for the moneylenders’ souls too.
To paraphrase you, “I’m going to be a Mom for a second”. This comment is regarding something in your previous post but it is strictly for you.
There is no easy way to say this without sounding like a Mom and, no doubt, you have heard it before. As you said, we all go through being a shit on the way to becoming a mature adult. From reading your blog, I have come to the conclusion that you are intelligent and – here’s comes the Mom part.- just as you outgrew being a shit, I have no doubt that you could express yourself just as well without the use of the “F word”. ( Believe me, I was no “Goody Two-Shoes” when I was your age. I swore like a truck driver until I was in my 40’s.) I enjoy your writing and can honestly say that I would enjoy it just as much without that word- even though i understand your frustration with the cat waking you up with the meowing in the bathtub (aka amplification chamber.)
This is just my opinion , of course, but I hope you will just consider it because time you spend with people who use the “F-word” is time spent with those who often don’t have the communication skills to express themselves in a more intelligent way. That is NOT the Wil Wheaton who writes such wonderfully well thought out blogs.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
PS Athough I am not a Gamer or Tekkie, I look forward, with eager anticipation, to your appearances on The Big Bang Theory.
I learned that lesson years ago when I quit smoking. I lost friendships with smokers who just wanted to hang out in VFWs to drink cheap beer and smoke. Once I broke that anchor a great new world opened up for me.
Good to you will .
I’ve been seeking the source of the Dick Wagon (albeit some what subconsciously). Here it is. Amazing. If the Interwebz are not the nucleus of the magical realm, I don’t know what is.
Well said, Wil! I’ve walked away from many an abusive & toxic person in my life, and it was some of the best things I’ve ever done, for myself and my children. Stay strong, man, it’s so worth it!
It is better to live alone. There is no friendship with a fool. _ The Buddha
Oddly, I’ve found that I’ve surrounded myself with largely great people. Unfortunately, that hasn’t inspired anything but a massive sense of inadequacy.
Well said Wil.