Skip to content
WIL WHEATON dot NET WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

  • About
  • Books
  • My Instagram Feed
  • Bluesky
  • Tumblr
  • Radio Free Burrito
  • It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton
WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Photo Credit Tony Case on Flickr

Seven Things I Did To Reboot My Life

Posted on 24 October, 201526 October, 2015 By Wil

About twenty years ago, I had a portable spa in the back yard of my first house. One day, the heater stopped working, so I called a repairman to come out and look at it. He told me that there would be an $85 charge no matter what, and I told him that was okay. When he got to my house, he opened up the access panel where the heater, pump, and filter lived. He looked inside, then looked back at me.

“Did you try pushing the reset button?” He asked.

“Um. No,” I said.

He pushed the reset button, and the heater came back to life.

“That’ll be $85,” he said. I paid him.

This post is about realizing that I was sitting in cold water, and not doing anything to turn the heater back on. This post is about how I hit the reset button.

I had this epiphany at the beginning of September: This thing that I’m doing? This series of choices I make every day? It isn’t working. I don’t like the way I feel, I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the things I’m doing. Things need to change.

So I took a long, hard, serious look at myself, and concluded that some things needed to change.

  • Drink less beer.
  • Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
  • Write more.
  • Watch more movies.
  • Get better sleep.
  • Eat better food.
  • Exercise more.

All of these things are interconnected in ways that are probably obvious and non-obvious, and by making a commitment to do my best to accomplish these things, I’ve been able to do a soft reboot of my life.

The hardest part of this was not drink less beer, which surprised me. The hardest part has been writing more. The easiest part of this has been exercise more, which also surprised me. I thought watching more movies would be easy, but it turns out that time is not a renewable resource, nor can time be stretched out in any real way that lets me get, say, four hours of movie into an hour of linear time.

In fact, if I’m being honest with myself (and I have to be, because being honest with myself is the only way this is going to work; I’m making major life changes here, remember), all of these things are hard to a certain degree, and that’s okay, because everything worth doing is hard.

So let’s go down this list and talk about each thing a little bit:

Drink less beer.

I love beer. I mean, I really love it. I brew it, I write about it, I design recipes of my own, and I’ve structured entire meals around what food will pair with the beer I want to drink. The thing about beer, though, is that it’s really easy to just keep on drinking it until it’s all gone or your brain goes, “um, hey, man, ithinkthat … imean … I mean, sorry, hold on. I th- think that youvehadneough.” Excessive drinking isn’t just tough on my liver (which has been a fucking CHAMP for years), it’s also tough on my brain because of my Depression. It’s tough on my heart, too, it turns out, because alcohol the carbohydrates are metabolized as sugar* which drives up insulin which makes my cholesterol go up which is bad for my heart thanks a lot genetics.

So I just made a commitment to drink less, drink more responsibly, and keep the intoxicating effects of the beers I love to a minimum. The first two weeks of this were really tough because I was habitually drinking two or three beers a night, but once I got used to it and broke the habit, it became as easy as I think it’s going to get (and that varies from day to day).

Read more. Write more.

These go together more closely than any other things on this list. Stephen King says that writers who don’t make time to read aren’t going to make time to write and holy shit is that exactly, perfectly true. I need to read so that my imagination is inspired. I need to read so I get an artistic and creative hunger that can only be fed by writing. I need to read so that I feel challenged to scrape ideas out of my skull and turn them into words and images. I need to read because if I don’t, I’m not going to make time to write, and even though I’ve had a lot of success recently as an actor and host and Guy On The Internet, all of those things are ultimately in the hands of others. I became a writer ten years ago because I not only loved it, but because it was a way for me to express myself creatively in a way that ultimately gave me control over my own destiny and my own life.

I struggled as an actor for years (it’s all in my book, Just A Geek! You should buy it!) and I was doomed to a future as a Former Child Star with occasional, humiliating, soul-crushing reality TV gigs if I was lucky. But I made a choice about twelve years ago to stop chasing the big film career I always felt I deserved (and maybe would have had, if I’d made different choices and had better advisers when I was younger) and start telling stories. By writing those stories and embracing the love I’d always had for creative writing, I made a second act in my life (take that, F. Scott Fitzgerald!).

Now this could sound like I’m complaining, or ungrateful, but I promise that isn’t the case. I am totally aware that a combination of hard work, privilege, and luck have all come together for me and put me in a very good place. But I worry about things. A lot. When the night is darkest, and it seems like the sun may never rise, I worry about how long I can sustain this life. I worry about what will happen when the people who choose to hire actors decide that they don’t want to hire me any more. I worry about how I’ll support and provide for my family, and on and on and on.

I am profoundly and completely grateful for the success I had and continue to have, because of the hard work I did in those years. I’m so lucky and grateful for the things I’ve been able to do on TV, and I’m really proud of the things I’ve created for Geek & Sundry. But even Tabletop and Titansgrave aren’t mine the same way a story I wrote is. In fact, the show I did with my name in the title was probably the least “mine” of anything I’ve ever done, and that didn’t feel particularly good at the end of the day.

But writing and storytelling always feels good. It’s truly mine, whether it’s awesome or shit, and nobody can take it away from me. For all of this year and most of last year, I hardly wrote anything of consequence. A few blogs, a couple of columns, and some small creative things that were always well received by the audience, sure, but never consistently and never in a way that fed the creative hunger that constantly makes my stomach growl. Going all the way back to last August, I swore that I’d take more time away from other things to focus on writing and taking the pages and pages of story ideas I have in my little notebook and turning them into actual stories. The thing is, when I took that time off, my health and mana were so depleted, I couldn’t find it in myself to do the work. Every few months, I’d take a week or two off, and instead of writing like I wanted to, I’d play video games and do nothing else, because I was just so goddamn tired. Then I would look up, realize a couple of weeks had passed, I hadn’t done anything, and I needed to get back to “real” work. I would feel frustrated and empty, and the whole cycle would start all over again.

I’ve been reading this book called The War of Art. It gets a little churchy at points, but I can skip over that and focus on the stuff that helps me: identifying all the barriers we create to give us the excuses we crave to not create. It turns out that if I were as good at sitting down and writing as I am at coming up with all the reasons I just can’t do it today, I’d have written ten novels this year.

So a big part of this Life Reset I’m doing is being honest with myself about why I want to write, why I need to write, and why I keep making excuses for not doing it. I won’t go into it, because it’s either too personal or too boring, but if you’re reading this and starting to have the glimmer of an epiphany about your own creative process, maybe pick up this book and check it out. It’s been very helpful for me.

Yesterday, I wrote over 3000 words. I only stopped because it was time to leave for a hockey game (there’s that privilege again), and I felt so goddamn good about myself when I walked out my door. I couldn’t wait to get back to work today, and I’m having so much fun writing this story, it may not even be fair to call it work.

Reading is an important component of this entire process for me, and making time to nourish my creative side has made a big and positive difference. Whether it’s comic books, magazine articles, fiction or non-fiction, I’m reading every day, and finding inspiration in everything I read.

Watch more movies.

Thanks to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Video, and a billion movie channels, we have access to more movies than we can ever watch, and that is amazing. Watching movies is, for me, similar to reading books. It’s part homework (as an actor and writer) and part inspiration. I have the opportunity to make short films with Nerdist and Geek & Sundry, so watching movies — good movies, not disposable trash — just makes sense. It also engages my brain in creative and intellectual ways that are important. I need to watch things and feel like I can do that, too, or feel like if that thing got made, there’s no reason I couldn’t make one of my own things. Hell, in this room where I am right now, I have everything I need to take some sort of simple creative idea and turn it into a movie. So why not? Why not watch movies as varied as the true classics (Sunset Boulevard, Chinatown) to the weird 70s experimental (The Trip, Scorpio Rising) to the epic blockbusters (Star Wars, Jaws) and get inspired by them? This is something that I need to do, because sitting in my office all day and looking at the Internet isn’t making me happier, more creative, more productive, or more inspired.

Related: listen to more podcasts like Lore, You Must Remember This, The Memory Palace, Welcome to Night Vale, The Black Tapes, and Unfictional. Those all inspire me to learn more, focus on pacing and storytelling and narrative, and make me want to be a more interesting person.

Get better sleep.

Maybe this is a strange one, but hear me out: for months — most of this year, in fact, now that I think of it — I haven’t slept well. I’ve had the hardest time, ever, falling asleep and staying asleep. I’ve had nightmares that terrify me from the moment I finally fall asleep, well into the following day as they haunt my memories. I’ve lived with the constant dread of waking up in a panic attack, and then waking up in a panic attack. It’s been terrible, and has contributed tremendously to my inability to get motivated, my reliance on alcohol to relax and go to sleep at night, and a general feeling of exhaustion, laziness, pessimism, and futility. I talked with my psychiatrist about it, and we tried sleep medication, which only made my body feel tired, while my brain was still racing along at the speed of terror. After several different attempts and failures, we tried changing up my brain meds, and about six weeks ago, I finally started feeling like a human again. I won’t go into the deep science of it, but we think I just had too much of some chemicals in my brain, and not enough of others. And it turns out that drinking alcohol to help you go to sleep does not result in good sleep, but does result in feeling like shit when you wake up.

So by committing to getting better sleep, I have changed up my evening and nighttime routines. I eat earlier, I drink less, I read more, and I’ve been able to slowly adjust my circadian rhythm from wanting to sleep at 2am to wanting to sleep around 11pm. I’ve used some great apps on my Droid to help me monitor things and determine what patterns work best for me, and while it’s still a work in progress — this entire thing is a work in progress, actually — it’s definitely getting better. When I don’t have nightmares all goddamn night, I’m more rested when I wake up. When I’m rested, I feel better in every aspect of my being. When I feel better, I am more creative and more willing to allow myself to take the risk of feeling good about myself.

Isn’t that strange? It’s a thing that I do, that I’ve done for my whole life: I don’t want to take the risk of feeling good about myself, because I’m afraid that I’ll get complacent, or arrogant, or someone will discover the Truth that my Depression tells me: I’m not that great and I don’t deserve to feel good about myself. I’m reading another book, called Trapped in the Mirror, that’s really helping me get through that, though.

So I take the risk of feeling good about myself, and more often than not, I actually do feel good about myself.

Eat better.

We all say we’re going to do this, and we always make excuses for why we don’t. Now I’ve been very lucky. My whole life, I’ve been able to stay at a healthy weight and body type without much effort … then I turned 40. In the last couple of years, I gained almost 30 pounds, my cholesterol went through the roof, and my whole body began to hurt, all the time.

There’s no excuse or rationalizing, here. I just wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t getting good nutrition. I wasn’t thinking of food as fuel and nutrients. I wasn’t making an effort to be smart about this, because I didn’t particularly care about myself. I didn’t really like myself, I didn’t feel like I could do anything about getting tubby and slow and out of shape, because I was just getting older and that’s the way it was.

That’s all bullshit. Here’s the thing, and this is pretty much the whole reason I made a choice almost three months ago to hit this reset button and really get my life together: I didn’t like myself. I didn’t care about myself. There’s a bit more to it, but that’s the two things that exist the most clearly and form the root of the last few years of my life. In fact, it took my wife, who is the most important person in my whole universe, telling me, “I feel like you don’t care about having a long life together with me, because you don’t care about taking care of yourself.”

Well, that was ridiculous. Of course I cared about having a long life with her! Of course I cared … didn’t I?

I cared about her, and I cared about our kids, but I didn’t really care about myself. And my Depression was doing a really good job of making sure that I didn’t really think about my choices and my actions affected the people I love and care about the most in this world. That was what made me look up, take my head out of the darkness, and commit to doing all of these things.

It turns out that eating well, consistently, isn’t as easy as just eating what I want, when I want. It turns out that it’s really hard to break out of bad habits, but it also turns out that, once I made the commitment to do that, I started feeling better almost immediately. I got an app that makes it easy to track my nutrition, calories, and exercise, and in a very short amount of time, I lost almost all the weight I’d gained. I’d still like to lose five more pounds, and that five pounds is really keen on sticking around, but it’s slowly coming off, it’s staying off, and it feels great. Also, having a digital scale that lets me track precisely how much I just pooped is probably the pinnacle of technology in the 21st century.

And a super bonus that comes with this? My body doesn’t hurt like it did, because I’m not schlepping around extra weight. My joints are healthy, my muscles are stronger, and my skeleton is just in better shape, and that leads me into the last part of this.

Exercise regulary.

My son, Nolan, is a personal trainer. He’s in phenomenal shape, looks like Thor (for reals), and trains both me and his mom. So I should be in great shape, right?

Well, if I’d stuck to a good diet, taken better care of myself, and felt like I actually deserved to feel good about myself, then yes. But as we’ve seen, that just wasn’t happening. I worked out a couple of times a week, I did good, hard workouts, but then I’d feel sore and tired and wasn’t getting the results I wanted (mostly due to poor diet) and I’d come up with reasons not to do it. Then I’d make the mistake of seeing myself in the mirror when I got out of the shower, and I’d really hate myself.

I think that lifting weights and doing inside stuff just isn’t for me. I get bored easily, and I don’t fully participate in the workouts. But I love running. I used to run marathons and 5Ks all the time, and my entire self felt amazing when I did. So why not give running a try again? The excuses wrote themselves.

I was working on Con Man with Sean Astin. Sean told me about the Ironman Triathlon he was training for, and I complained that I couldn’t run anymore, because my body always hurt. Sean talked to me about the diet aspect of it, and then suggested that I use a method of mixing running with walking to work myself back into shape.

So I bought an app called Zombies, Run 5K for my phone. It uses recording and all the various sensors in my phone to let me imagine that I’m a runner in the zombie apocalypse. While I am being trained by a doctor, I listen to my music (Taylor Swift and Tove Lo accompany me on most of my runs) and a story unfolds in my ears. I’m three weeks into the training, and while it’s starting to ramp up from challenging to difficult, it feels great. I look forward to every run, I challenge myself to go as hard and as long as I can (that’s what she said) and the benefits to my self-esteem, my physical and mental health, and overall quality of life are incredible. If I was looking to quantify the value of this, it would probably be like spending five bucks to get ten thousand dollars of awesome. (Does that make sense? I’ve been writing this for a long time and the words are starting to get blurry on the screen).

I deserve to be happy. I deserve to feel good about myself. I can do the work that I need to do to accomplish these things.

If I tried to do just one of these things, and I stayed committed to it, I’d probably feel better about myself. Doing all of them together isn’t necessarily easier, but it isn’t necessarily harder, either. Every one of these things supports the other in a sparkling geometric structure of awesome that is making my life significantly and consistently better.

I just did a word count on this, and I’m at nearly 3500 words. I didn’t intend to write this much, and I suspect that most people will tl;dr it, but I’m glad that I spent the time thinking about these things and writing them down like this. I’m sure I’ll revisit this, rewrite it, and revise it, but I’m going to publish it now without a lot of editing. This is raw, and I feel like it’s supposed to be.

* Note: I got the science on this wrong. Per a comment: “In case it matters, consider the inaccuracy of your thoughts about alcohol and what it does to your body. See the Oracle of Wikipedia for details. It’s not the ALCOHOL that hurts your circulatory system (I have the same hypertriglyeridemia genetics problem BTW). It’s the simple carbohydrates that become sugars alkalize immediately. That is, it’s the carb filled beer not the ALCOHOL in it that causes the problem. I’m not a carb hater or fad dieter. But I do believe in studying science and trying to understand reasons for why I need to change my behaviors. That helps with motivations. After all: who would argue with scientific facts?”

  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Bluesky (Opens in new window) Bluesky
  • More
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related


Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Subscribe

blog Film Food and Drink movies

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Comments (489)

Comments navigation

Older comments
Newer comments
  1. Honey Apostos says:
    25 October, 2015 at 7:50 am

    I am going through some changes too. Worrying and change seem to go hand in hand. I picture them skipping along a beach together whistling. One of the things that makes life easier is knowing you are not alone. One of the gifts of being a writer is being able to show others that they are not alone. You did good.

  2. Bobnj says:
    25 October, 2015 at 8:00 am

    You can watch more movies and save time. Workout on a treadmill or similar machine in front of a large TV with some headphones and accomplish two of your requirements at once. That’s the way I watch almost everything. If you get 1/2 way through a movie on a workout, you will want to get back on to finish the movie.

  3. justmyinputSam says:
    25 October, 2015 at 8:39 am

    I’m glad that you have had this chance to change and begin again. Nothing wrong with realizing something isn’t working. It takes a lot of humility and bravery to open up like this and take those steps to publicly.

  4. Jaimie GodofTetris says:
    25 October, 2015 at 8:43 am

    Thanks for this.

  5. David says:
    25 October, 2015 at 8:44 am

    Great post. Sometimes things have to happen to get us back on track. I hate it when life doesn’t go the way I want it to, but then again everything that happens is for a reason, and it sometimes causes us to look at what we’re doing and gives us a moment of clarity.

  6. Jason Greeno says:
    25 October, 2015 at 8:46 am

    Inspiring stuff Wil. Thanks for the honesty. You’re not alone in these feelings.

  7. Bob P. says:
    25 October, 2015 at 9:19 am

    Thank you, Wil. Honest, informed words, well-spoken. (Written. Whatever.)

  8. Gina W says:
    25 October, 2015 at 9:20 am

    Your blog is one of the few I don’t just skim through and this post really hit home. I’ve been mulling over the reset button myself (weight, pre-diabetic diagnosis, sleep, focus, general happiness). Saying no can be difficult for me, setting healthy margins also difficult and as a first rate procrastinator, it can increase my anxiety. Self-awareness is so important; I appreciate how you try to be honest with yourself and with your audience. It’s why I keep reading your work.Thank you.

    1. Mike Tripka says:
      25 October, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      No tl dr. Thanks for the encouragement

  9. robertjamesftw says:
    25 October, 2015 at 9:45 am

    I read every word. I’m in my 50’s, and have come to the realization that I am sitting in a similar place to where you were right before you hit Reset. Your words couldn’t have come at a better time.

  10. Laura says:
    25 October, 2015 at 9:51 am

    Thanks! I really needed this. I may or may not have attempted a reboot several times this year but I want to keep trying . I appreciate your honesty to us and yourself.

  11. Louise says:
    25 October, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Raw and honest is good. I can relate to most of your feelings and your struggles. And your love of good beer! I need a reset but haven’t created an outline yet. You’ve reminded me that setting the intention to make changes is so vital, otherwise you keep floundering in your own muck. I’ve heard it said we write the story of our own lives and I’ve neglected my plot line because I’m waiting for the perfect inspiration. Thank you.

  12. Stolenbyfairies says:
    25 October, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Wow. Thank you.

  13. justalurkr says:
    25 October, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Good job, Will.

  14. Jill says:
    25 October, 2015 at 10:47 am

    This is important and I need to hit that button also. Well done for doing all these difficult but worthwhile things, and well done for telling us all. Thank you.

  15. Lori Koonce says:
    25 October, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Thank you. Your honesty and openness about your journey makes mine easier.

  16. drtssha says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Yeah, I’ve got Zombies, Run 5K myself. Paid less than 5 bucks, but whatevs. Unfortunately, the headphone jack on my phone no longer works, so I’ve been unable to run (without sharing what I’m listening to with everyone around me). I think I might just start the program over when I get a new phone, mine’s getting a bit long in the teeth. But yeah, you’re not the only one who needs to improve their diet and run more. points to self 😉

    1. Glenn Sullivan says:
      25 October, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      I had the same problem… Bluetooth headphones are less than $15 these days, so that’s what I switched to…

  17. Maisie Smith says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Nice to come across another Runner 5! Keep on keeping on, Mr. W.

  18. ReidDesigns (@ReidDesigns) says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:11 am

    I hit my reset button about five years ago after my separation. But looks like i may need to do it again. Thanks for this was truly something that has been bothering me for a while. Being stuck in a rut isnt fun and now its time to work at getting out of it. You are not alone. 🙂

  19. Molly says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Wil, Thank you. I really appreciated this article. You are one of the only people in my circle of online influences who talks openly about how depression affects what you do in life and how you are able to move forward despite it. Thank you so much for writing this, your voice is unique and very valuable and I am so glad you put this out here.

  20. Jason Eaby says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:15 am

    Thank you! I’m about where you were before you decided to push the Reset button. Although, I’ve been hesitating on pushing it for quite some time. So, thank you, I needed to hear this. Now, I just need to figure out what pushing that button looks like and how to do it.

  21. marta says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Yes! Thanks for writing so succinctly what we of, ahem, a certain age are all thinking. I hit 50, looked in the mirror and realized I don’t feel so great, I don’t look so great, I’m not doing what I truly want, not enjoying life and my days as I should, and, whoa, where did that extra 40 lbs come from?
    I enjoy your writing, performance, podcasts (can I recommend CraftLit? Heather is not only a BRILLIANT English teacher but a wonderful, deep person who has lived through extraordinary events. She can combine excellent listening with truly enjoyable classic literature), insight very much and catch myself laughing out loud, tearing up, and shouting “Yes! That’s right!” Thank you! Please don’t stop.

  22. Matt says:
    25 October, 2015 at 11:35 am

    Wow in a very similar place and so this is really inspiring and gives me hope. Also in the middle of War of Art and its providing more incentive to write more too!

  23. scottishdave says:
    25 October, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    Great article. To ease your fear of supporting your family, you might have a look at http://www.mrmoneymustache.com achieving financial independence, i.e. knowing you COULD stop working if you wanted to feels like a burden being lifted off you.

  24. Jp Perkins says:
    25 October, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    Love it Wil. I read the whole thing…which is saying something because I’ve never really been a follower of your work but the raw essence of it is refreshing. What app did you use to track the calories and nutrition if I may ask?

  25. Spud nuts says:
    25 October, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    Wheaton, you have an obligation to stay healthy and alive until we can crowdfund a sentient hologram. Then Holo-Wil and Holo-Pac and Holo-Gorshin can all sit on my couch and cheer while I play Doug Dug on my iPhone. After that, you can do as you please.

    Let’s break it down:

    Beer

    Beer is delish. My process is one to two bottles a night, and up to three on weekend nights. I also prefer low ABV anyway, so rarely get effed up. Also, hardcore athletic stuff can hide those calories quite easily. Up your exercise to compensate.

    Read

    I’d simply change this to read better. That’s what you mean anyway. Text in a book is not better than text on a screen, despite the mewling protestations of dogmatists. And also, I think you probably mean read deeply. The “problem” (debatable) of reading online is that one tends to skip around, skim, and just digress.

    Write

    Again, you probably mean write longer, and more focused. I’m writing write now. Does it mean anything? No. I need chips.

    Movies

    Watch BETTER movies. Too many current films are the same film. It’s all white bread. Don’t fill up on bread! You produce indie content, consume it too (I know you do). Not out of duty, but because it’s simply superior. Also, foreign stuff and anything that involves anthropomorphic steak.

    Sleep

    People try to “hack,” gimmick, finesse, cheat, ramp up or down with substances. It’s a loser’s game. Some will swear by their schemes. Whatever. Truth will out. In your eyes, your heart, your gut. You can’t cheat the laws of thermodynamics. The universe always wins, Tim Ferrisses.

    Food

    The key here is one needs to be a better cook. Meaning no one likes to eat twigs and gravel. If quality food is tasty, you’ll eat that shiz. You gotta get some go-to recipes that are easy and healthy. I like to hide quality food in my snacks and meals. Always stuffing kale, avocados into nachos, burritos, smoothies, whatever. Just toss it in, blend it. Trick yourself. Be sneaky. You can put non-fat plain yogurt into and onto everything. But sometimes one simply has to eat “medicinally.” To man up, and just swallow the awfulness because your body needs it. The idea that one only puts delicious things into one’s mouth is childish.

    Exercise

    Exercising is always a mistake.

    One should never exercise. Do not DO athletics. BE an athlete.

    In other words, you commit to it inevitably as the essence of who and what you are. For life. When people “exercise,” it’s something they binge at. Pick it up, drop it off. Do a little here, a little there. That’s a mistake. It needs to be about your daily, your hourly choices. Taking the stairs always, avoiding the moving sidewalks at the airport, carrying your groceries, parking your car far from the entrance, or better yet, not taking your car at all. The little things, the big things. Always.

    And I don’t buy the idea that one can’t bike in certain cities. I lived in LA for years and biked that stem to stern. Some say it’s not a biking city. They’re wrong. All cities are biking cities.

    That’s it.

  26. Gena says:
    25 October, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. This came at a really good time for me. BTW: alcohol drunk at night messes up your sleep patterns, so you’ll find cutting back on it will improve your sleeping. Keep taking care of yourself, Wil!

  27. Ashley Lauren says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Thank you!

  28. Stephen Doerk says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Excellent article Wil.. Definitely in the same place in all the facets that you talked about. Still dealing with the depression that ended my 16 year marriage, added about 55 lbs since I retired from the Navy and have found myself looking at the calendar too many times wondering where the time went and why, every week, I haven’t started working out or eating better like I have promised to do every week. Like minds I think.. and definitely not alone these days!

  29. T Counce says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    You’ve given me a lot of food for thought and it didn’t cost me anything (at least not yet)…That alone I find refreshing (too many things you can only find out if you pay for it and I just think that’s nuts). I have been trying to figure out why I’ve been writing less than I use to, and I believe you have helped me to figure that out and for that I thank you <3 Keep going…I know you can do it 🙂

  30. Kathy Tortoreo says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Bravo Will Wheaton.
    What a great journey!

  31. Shelia Joneleit says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks for being so open! I appreciate your candor and I know what you are going through since I am going through a similar reflection! Keep it real and I love your blog!

  32. steve kuenzi says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Awesomeness! I really get this. Thanks Will. I’m forwarding this link to my email for repeat reads and inspiration

  33. majorvoltage says:
    25 October, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I needed to read this today.

  34. Indymonster says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Zombies, Run! and Zombies, Run! 5K are amazing. Those apps really got me back into running again, and the unfolding story is part of the reason I’m looking forward to getting outside and running again.
    This week is the Zombies, Run! Virtual Race, and I’m so looking forward to running and completing it.
    I’m sorta trying to reset my life a little myself, after not really taking care of myself, and feeling like I never had the energy to do stuff with my daughter. But after I started working out and sleeping more/better, that has really changed. And reading this also gave me a boost to keep getting myself into better shape, both for my own sake and for my daughters sake 🙂

  35. Mackenzie Oliphant says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Awesome story, awesome writing. And you’re completely right about it all. I’m off to start listening to some of those podcasts and then to do some more reading. Lots to think about.

  36. nerdarchy101 says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    Thanks for the food for thought Wil. Everyone has their unique struggles and challenges and there certainly are plenty of things I need to work on myself to improve my own quality of life. -Nerdarchist Ryan

  37. Scott Jones says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Mr. Wheaton, I am happy for you and your family as you head in a new direction that is bringing you good health, stronger relationships, and engaging that part of you that only you can express and contribute. I know what we see of you is only the tip of your real life’s iceberg, but I think I have enough info to see that you and your family are truly decent and good-hearted people. You’d find me pretty boring, I’m sure, but I’m rooting for you. Hold a steady course, and I wish you happiness. You do deserve it. That is all.

  38. Rhonda says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    Hi, Wil – Kudos to you for coming up with a re-set plan. I’m trying to re-set my navigation, too, so thank you for sharing your journey in such a heartfelt fashion. Finding something you love to do for exercise is a big part of getting there. I ride a horse once a week, taking horse riding lessons like yoga. Riding is easier if I’ve been exercising and not sedentary during the week, so I’m happier to get out and exercise more.

    Also, just FWIW, have you or your doctor talked about having a sleep study done? You may have sleep apnea, too. Not being able to breathe well while sleeping causes panic attacks and nightmares. Perhaps, as you get more exercise and lose weight, that may not be an issue. Or it may not be an issue at all.

    Good luck and good wishes.

  39. Esther Cervantes says:
    25 October, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Yes, all of this. Go you! (My partner and I, during a decadent Christmas visit to Vienna last year, locked eyes over the sausages and glüvein and took a vow of clean living. Trained for a 12K together and have seriously cut down our restaurant eating this year, making a conscious effort to up the vege and reduce the meat at home, feel really great.)

  40. Cobacrtr says:
    25 October, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Love this. Sometimes the “little” changes are truly the life altering ones & therefore harder than we anticipate. I also started using “Zombies, Run” a few years back & think it is brilliant! Thank you for sharing the triumphs & the speed bumps.

  41. jennice says:
    25 October, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you for sharing this very real, very honest self evaluation. For someone who rides the crappy depression roller coaster it helps to know you’re not on the ride alone. I mean sure we say we know we’re not alone but sometimes it takes someone you’ve grown up with, even if it was virtually, admitting they’re on it too.

  42. Ghost of Selkie? (@eustaciavye77) says:
    25 October, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Its amazing how much of a different reading makes isn’t it? I’m not a writer so its not research or anything, but I am just a happier person all around if I read every night. I periodically get out of the habit and am reminded that really, life without reading sucks. I just started back about a week ago and I am so much more relaxed!

  43. spicedrum says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    You mentioned apps you use to monitor, for helping your nightly routine. Which ones do you use? I suck at sleeping well and need all the help I can get.

    “I don’t want to take the risk of feeling good about myself, because I’m afraid that I’ll get complacent, or arrogant, or someone will discover the Truth that my Depression tells me: I’m not that great and I don’t deserve to feel good about myself.”

    This is me. So hard.

    Good luck, and thank you for helping me a little bit on my way to a reboot, too.

    1. Rachel says:
      25 October, 2015 at 8:08 pm

      Yes, I’d also love to know what apps you use, especially since you have pets, and that’s the problem with ones I’ve looked into – they try tracking your movement and such, but that’s not going to work well when kitty decides to walk over the phone in the middle of the night.

  44. ragingkitty says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs, the dark and the bright, Your stories inspire and encourage with your honesty and openness. I was pointed toward The War Of Art by several author friends at a con in Denver this weekend, and seeing it mentioned here confirms that I need to read it. By the way, I never skip over your posts.

  45. ryan says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Thanks. I feel ya on everything but the writing. Not a creative person. I wrote when I was younger but it always felt forced. The others are spot on. I have actually done this reset and had great results. Acohol diet excercise sleep. It’s a simple formula. Too bad it’s so difficult to get them all moving. I might have just found the motivation / reminder. Thanks again.

  46. Mikael Johansson says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    I needed to read this, this article could not have come by at a better place in time. I can relate to almost everything you write here, and would love if you continue on this article as a part 2 sometimes. From another person that is trying to find the joy’s in life again, thanks man!:)

  47. Glo Loth says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Thanks for sharing this. I needed to hear some of it

  48. Robert says:
    25 October, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    I have been in a lost period of my life the last few years… I lost my father a few years ago and that is about the time everything started. My mother is in early stages of Alzheimer’s and my success in weight loss and quiting smoking has failed once again. Some other things in my life are not the greatest. Among them is the fact I have only one close friend and it seems Ican not pay people to be my friend….. Ive always been an odd man out. I hoped with being older and meeting mature people I would find some new friends but it has not happened. I too have been extremely depressed. I’m not sure how to change things. I hope you find your inter peace as I look for mine…..

  49. nicóle says:
    25 October, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    Read every single word. Totally needed this. Thanks!

  50. Charlotte says:
    25 October, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    This is wonderful. I managed to deal with diet this last year, and I’ve been working on the reading/writing a lot too. I know I need to exercise more and sleep better, so you’re inspiration to get that on the list again and do my own reset. Thanks so much for sharing and good luck.

Comments navigation

Older comments
Newer comments

Comments are closed.

Search the archives

Creative Commons License

 

  • Instagram
©2025 WIL WHEATON dot NET | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes
%d