if the zombies were real, they would have gotten me today.

Eliot got comfortable on my desk this morning.

Eliot is not a zombie, though she bites and claws like one if you touch her belly.

Yesterday, I finished writing all the stuff I plan to do at Blizzcon, with the help of my son, Ryan, who is both a fantastic writer and a very experienced Diablo and Warcraft player. I have decided that, since Diablo is my favorite of all the Blizzard games, and since it’s the only one I’m even marginally competent at playing, that’s where I’ll focus my stories and jokes and anecdotes. I’m still nervous as fuck about it, though.

All this week, my brain has been a real asshole. I’m having nightmares every night, from stress dreams to straight up terrors, and last night my idiot brain woke me up every five minutes so I wouldn’t oversleep and miss some very early radio interviews I needed to do today, because I’m on The Big Bang Theory tonight.

So, of course, after ensuring that I didn’t get any rest (though it says 8 hours on my sleep thing, I really feel like I slept for maybe 45 minutes) my brain decided that the best time to fall into a deep sleep was when the alarm went off. So of course I slept through it, and missed my first interview, which was a call into the Bob and Tom show. We tried our best to reschedule it for a little later in the morning, but due to something with football on their end and a very full schedule on my end, we weren’t able to make our ends meet. I’m disappointed, but there’s nothing I can do about it, now.

I did get to talk to a number of fun and friendly hosts across the country, including the hometown crew at KROQ, which was pretty great. I don’t listen to much radio these days, but I grew up on KROQ, and part of me always gets excited like a teenager when I get to do something with them.

After my interviews, I ate some breakfast and got ready to go do my training run. I’ve been staying on track with my Zombies 5K training, and I love it SO MUCH. I look forward to every run, even when it’s hard. Today, I began week 5 … and pulled the everlovingfuck out of my right calf muscle just as I was starting my first 10 minute free form run. I did everything I could to gently stretch it out, massage it, beg and plead and bargain with it to relax and let me run some more, but nothing worked. I limped back home for a little over a mile.

I’m sort of annoyed, but mostly disappointed, because I feel really good and happy when I’m running, and because I had a lot of gas left in the tank. I was pretty sure I’d be able to run the entire time today, and maybe exceed the 29 minutes of running I did a few days ago, too.

So I finished today with about 19 minutes of running and 40-something of walking, and I’m probably not going to be able to get back on the — horse? street? shoes? Whatever we call it when we go back out to run again — until Sunday at the earliest, and I leave Monday to go work on Powers. I hope I’ll be able to keep training while I’m on location, because the running part of my life reboot is my favorite.

Speaking of that, I’ve heard from thousands of people from all over the world about that post. I guess it’s been really helpful and meaningful to more people than I ever imagined, and the thing I wrote about artists getting paid for their work blew up, too. It feels good to say something helpful and positive when people are listening.

Checking in on the seven things I pointed out, I’ve been able to keep on track with all of them, except for watching more movies. I just haven’t had time, because all the Blizzcon preparation has consumed my life. When I’m not writing, I’m worrying, and when I’m not worrying, I’m worrying. So that’s fun.

I had a really exciting and awesome moment a few days ago, when I realized my life reboot had moved me from a size large to a size medium, and I had to get rid of more than half of my T-shirts. I also discovered that some clothes I bought months ago, anticipating losing a little bit of the flab around my belly, started to fit this weekend. It’s not the biggest deal in the world, but it’s still kind of a big deal. I don’t have the best self esteem on the planet, and something like putting on a shirt that I like, and fitting into it because I did the work to fit into it gives me +1 to awesome, even if it’s only temporary.

When I was supposed to be working on my Blizzcon thing, my brain threw a bunch of stuff at me that’s relevant to another story I’ve been working on. I allowed myself to write it down, even though it was technically Resistance (per the War of Art), because it’s still something I’m creating, and that I’m excited about. It’s a cool story, and I’m looking forward to putting it at the top of my queue after the weekend is over, and I’m done preparing my character for Powers.

If you’re on Project Reboot with me, I hope you’re enjoying it, and finding successes. Don’t give up if the successes you want aren’t the ones you’re having. Success of any kind is still success, and everything worth doing is hard.

54 thoughts on “if the zombies were real, they would have gotten me today.”

    1. Sleep Apnea? I found great relief from working to correct this area in my life. All of your symptoms apply, and I would hate to see you suffer from not knowing about the side effects of low oxygen in the body when you wake up.

    1. The worst part of hurting myself today is that I was wearing my brand new Runner 5 shirt that arrived yesterday.

      1. Keep at it, Wil. My wife started ZR 17 months ago and aleady lost 60 lbs. We’ve both got our runner 5 shirts and did the virtual 10k. You are awesome!

      2. Just as FYI, you will feel fit enough cardiovascularly before your legs are ready. So just make sure to push yourself to fast, even though your lungs feel up to it.
        Much better to take 3 times as long and not get injured!

  3. Hi, Wil.

    I don’t typically respond to blogs, but I can’t help but feel compelled to do so this time. Like you, Wil, I was needing to lose some serious weight. I tried this (see below) and lost 25+ pounds in under 60 days with not much effort, just some discipline. And, since ending the program 4 or 5 weeks ago, I’ve maintained a weight loss of 25 – 30 lbs without the cravings.

    [Redacted by Wil]

    If you feel it inappropriate to post the weblink above, then please feel free to remove it. This is not meant to be a cheap shot at a public “plug” or ad… I meant no offense to you 🙂 But, I’m telling ya’, this program really did work for me!!!

    I hope this works for you too, Wil!

    Take care, Doug

  4. Actually, I think being able to fit into clothes that used to not fit is the one of the best motivators/rewards for me about exercising (I decided to take up running a little over a year ago). Weight can fluctuate all over, plus running builds up muscle, but getting to wear shirts and pants that I hadn’t worn in years is really great.

  5. It’s because of you, Wil, that I downloaded Zombies, Run and have been using it every day since last week. I am a noob runner and can maybe run 15-20 minutes at a time, but reading your story and also starting to see changes in myself (the whole clothes fitting differently thing!) has inspired me to keep at running and be the hero of Abel Township. I love it when we geeks help each other and encourage each other. Aw, the feels!

  6. I live with severe anxiety, med free by choice, and I quit smoking in May after smoking for far longer than I care to admit to. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s probably the twentieth time I’ve quit. Every time, I’d hit a point where my anxiety was off the charts and I’d start puffing again. Rather than starting over the next day, I’d get down on myself about how I could be so stupid to pick it up again and it would inevitably end with me say “Eh, well, I guess I’m smoking again.”

    This time around, I went into it with a very specific mindset: Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone has speed bumps and setbacks. The key is to remember that it’s not the end of the world. You WILL get there with your running goal, but beating yourself up over a pulled muscle doesn’t do you any good and it feeds the anxiety monster. Dust yourself off (in your case, hobble around like a 90-year old man for a few days) and start over as if the speed bump didn’t happen.

    Love the blog, and, as a writer, I really liked the piece about getting paid for your work. 🙂

  7. My husband knows how you feel re: running; he is now disappointed he can’t do the Abbey Dash a week on Sunday because of shin splints. Still, there’s thoughtbubble comic convention, and I got back into doing a small flash fiction today (the knitting circle that is “predictionfiction”) after a massive break, which is yay for me.
    Along with winning barbershop in the UK last week (double yay).
    I will have to leave angry unikitty cosplay for another year, though.

    Good luck with your zombies; I have enough tall teenagers in hoodies in the dark foggy Pennines between bus stop and home without having to resort to them :S

  8. I didn’t know you like Diablo so much. Guess I just fell in love with you. Which one’s your favorite?

  9. Injuries happen, don’t let it get you down. Use a foam roller on that calf, it’ll help the healing.

  11. Keep punching, man. I suffer from anxiety syndrome and depression, so I know how hard it can be to keep up the effort but fuck it – “You have to do the work, Lou”, as Warhol said

  12. In your Reboot post, you mentioned that you “used to run marathons and 5ks all the time”. Question: Is Zombies 5K suitable for a beginner? (asking for a…….me) I’d love to get rid of the paunch, know what I mean?

    1. Is Zombies 5K suitable for a beginner?

      I think so. It’s based on the couch to 5K program, so look that up, and see if it sounds like something you’d enjoy.

    2. I started running just over a year ago with Zombies, Run! 5K. I was a complete non-runner up until that point and at the age of 51 it completely changed my life. At the beginning I found it a struggle to run for 30 seconds at a time but by the end of the 8 week program I could run 5K in one go.

  13. Be careful with the calf. I think I remember that your son is a personal trainer, so ask him for some stretches & exercises for the glutes and the IT band, which provide surrounding support. A few years back, I was busting my ass getting in shape for my wedding and I pulled my calf once or twice (limped for a few days each time) and then one day I simply stepped off of a curb and SNAP. Worst. Pain. Ever. It was a grade 2 tear which required twelve weeks of physical therapy, etc. And it’s never been the same – two years later and I still can’t really run on it and that twenty five(ish) pounds that I spent eighteen months losing “the right way” have crept back on. Calf muscles are tender, and they suck when they hurt. So be careful! (And keep running – Go Wil!)

  14. The changes you’re making can really be felt in your posts, which are having an uplifting and positive effect on a great many people (obviously). Thank you so much for your candid and inspirational posts. Keep up the awesomeness and have something nearby to beat back the zombies!

  16. Awesome that you’re still keeping trucking along with all the life change stuff. Especially the running, that can be a huge deal for keeping sane. There’s a huge community of runners (especially in the trail and ultrarunning arena) that battle depression and other issues, but find running helps a great deal.

    There’s a local guy here in MN that has started an organization called Break The Stigma to talk more openly about mental illness, and running is the vehicle he uses to carry the message. Last year he ran across Minnesota and in 2016 he’s running across Wisconsin. They do a simple little podcast where they talk with runners about mental illness and running (www.breakthestigmarun.com) that can be fun to listen to sometimes.

  17. I took up running not long after I hit 40 about 8 years ago. I love it and go 3 times a week. I’ve had pulled calf muscles in that time, too. They suck, but they heal. Don’t let it discourage you. Think of it as a zombie got a piece of you, and you’re just down a few hit points. Just this weekend I had my second fastest time ever for 10 miles (fastest was about 18 months ago). I also make running a priority in my schedule, so I schedule other things around it as much as I can.

    Keep it up. I’m glad you’re doing it.

  18. Boh. It sucks about the calf. It always sucks to hit a really good stretch and then get hurt. Get some rest, stretch, drink lots of water and rest.

    Sending good vibes for Blizzcon. You’ll have so much fun that the butterflies will be beautiful and not scary. You got this.

    Go Project Reboot! We need tshirts…

  20. Proud of you, Runner 5.

    My chronic depression knocked me on my fanny this week. I bargained with myself to at least get out and do a short mission–no chases–because I hadn’t finished this particular story arc. It helped. (I’m halfway through Season 4; it gets better, and crying while running is a thing.)

  21. Thank you for your honesty and sharing with us, it really helps. (Well, I know it helps me to hear it from someone else.) I’ve got a Fitbit now and trying to keep all my food tracked. Baby steps. We’ll all get there. (Watching you on TBBT right now! 🙂 )

  22. Dude, +1 to awesome? Try +10 – that is freakin’ fabulous. You totally inspire me. I’ve been back on the treadmill for a couple of weeks and although I’ve not seen much change, I feel like I am doing something good for me. I want to do couch to 5k, but it is really hard to do 30 sec of running on a treadmill. I know I need to get outside, but my anxiety says no.

    So, anyway, keep being awesome. Hearts & high fives!

    k

  23. Yeah, for this week, IT IS the biggest deal in the world. Super-cool. Thanks for the inspiration. I feel great after exercising, but it’s hard to get up the steam after I put three boys to bed at the end of the day… Instead, I perform my own custom dance called the collapso. And after a while I might have the energy to get out there on the treadmill. So it’s good. REEEBOOOOOT.

  25. Aaww fire,sounds like my day. Sheesh. Those brain oddball curve balls suck. :/ i’m like “Really?? Now?!!?! Ghhhh! ” to my brain when it does that, so I feel ya there. You made it alive and are here to tell about it.: -)

    I am a fellow runner. Distance running ,basically for fun now. I used to run 10ks all the time, so I know the dreaded calf, quads and hammie cramps. Aughh!!! You’re probably low on potassium, magnesium, salt and water. Get that stuff in you before the run and after, and you’ll be alright.:)

    Soaking in a hot Epsom salts bath helps too.

  26. It’s lovely to hear how well you’ve been doing lately, Wil. Stress-dreams and nerves aside, it sounds like you’ve been achieving some pretty positive things! That exercise you’ve been doing (along with your medication) should sort out your anxiety with little delay.

    I’m not sure how appropriate it is to suggest this but have you spoken with a psychiatrist about prazosin before? It’s technically a weak blood pressure medication, however it has an off-label use (i.e. side effect) of preventing nightmares. It’s used to treat PTSD patients. I haven’t remembered a dream in about 4 months. It’s not without flaws: I’ve experienced some hypotension (it’s a blood pressure med, afterall) and I’m daydreaming more frequently– so be sure to consult a medical professional to weigh the risks/rewards assuming the whole “no nightmares” thing appeals to you.

    Take care and keep doing well!

  27. Project reboot has been such a motivating gift to me. Thank you. It’s funny that you mentioned KROQ. I remember hearing you call in to the Poor Man Sunday night show with Dr. Drew years and years ago and you said you were being a lounge lizard. I stole that and use it to this day. I think if you every time. Don’t worry I’m not a stalker. 🙂

  28. I hate it when you are all set to go and something goes wrong. In my case its usually that i left my running shoes at home when I’m at work. If you cant run maybe you can do other exercises like sit-ups/crunches or push-ups. Push-ups are fun to see how many you can do in a day. Like try to get to 50 an hour and its insane how many you can do, plus its good in small spaces and is relatively low impact…

    I, as many of your readers, have taken your personal challenge to heart. I am trying to be more balanced in my life as well and dang it if you haven’t inspired me to go for a late night run tonight, like within the next hour. But it’s good we got to find motivation where ever we can right!

  29. I’ve been using both the 5k and regular Zombies Run app for about two years off and on. Never thought I could get a runner 5 tshirt. I absolutely have to have this now.

    1. Yes, geekcoupletab, you are Runner 5! Get the shirt–you earned it by simply going.

      Wil, at some point I’d love to hear your ZR head canon. In S1, Sam and I had a torrid secret affair. Not any more (would be awkward with S4 events), but we’re still good.

  30. Keep on running, Wil! I wish I’d known about Couch to 5k when I started running, but I only found out about it after I’d run my first 5k. But I did Zombies, Run! all the time when it came out for Android. So much fun. I also started running to lose weight, and ended up losing 60 pounds. I’ve been running for 4.5 years now, and I’ve got 8 marathons under my belt. Running has been very good to me! It’s opened up some pretty cool opportunities (I got to run across Newfoundland last spring for charity), and allowed me to outrun a, let’s be honest, very poor diet 🙂

    Stopping to walk sucks in your mind, but doing it to take care of a weird unexplained pain is good for your body.

  31. You were busy last night since you were in my dreams as well as your own. In mine, you were an older student at Hogwarts. During one of the final battles, Voldemort grabbed you and put his wand at the base of your skull and blew your brains out. It was horrific and it woke me up. So, just a word of warning, keep away from Voldemort okay?

  32. Hi Will.

    Tough day, eh? I hope I don’t sound pushy but I have some suggestions that might make tomorrow a little better.

    First, make an appointment at a sleep clinic. They may be able to help you.

    Second, if you can’t sleep anyway, get up and have a hot bath with soothing INSTRUMENTAL music. (Lyrics get your brain going.) Stay away from screens of all kinds.

    Third, I have foot problems and parkinson’s disease, so I know what it’s like to have your body sabotage your efforts to get in shape. While you are healing, try exercises that don’t strain your calf. You can even do weight training from a sitting position. Stationary biking is also gentler than running.

    I have just started new program to get healthy as I reached the heaviest I’ve ever been, including when I was 9 1/2 months pregnant with my “I’ll come when I feel like it Son!” I was ill a lot in the summer and got in a rut. I understand how you feel about losing (temporarily) your fav exercise. Try to find a substitute to keep you on track until you’re well again.

    Good luck.

    PS – Loved the Big Bang episode “gold”

  33. Downsizing on t-shirts is great but when you can do it with pants? It’s a special kind of great.

    I was a Couch to 5K guy and because of your post, I’m looking at the Zombies versions for more interesting workouts to keep me going and improve my beer league hockey game. Thanks, man. stick tap

  34. I started running for the first time with zombies 5k this February, and ran my first half marathon this Halloween. It is THE BEST. I hurt myself around week 5 too. You will get back together and just make up any missed days. Good luck, be awesome.

  35. Just tried Zombie 5k and it was at night… Kinda scary raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrr

  36. Dude! You really are trimming down.

    In the sword pic on RFB – you can clearly see it in your face & neck. Congrats!

    More power to you. I took about 12 off this past spring, but working late (like 3am) in the late summer preparing for festivals & shows (and when I’m up late I snack) Ouch. Tough cycle to break… must try harder.

    Recently, I read an article about the effects that lack of sleep has on waking metabolism. It has more of an effect than a person might think.

    But, if you can do it … … … …

  38. I know this is a bit of a late comment, but I was a bit disconnected over the weekend running Ragnar Relay Las Vegas. I did some rebooting starting about 7 years ago, the biggest long-term effect being among all the excercise I was trying I fell in love with running. I lost over 50 lb and went from XL shirts and a 38 in waist to mediums and a 32. More important, I have more energy, feel better about myself, work better with others and I’m far healthier.

    I know you’re getting tons of advice, but I still want to throw my $.05 in. First, recognize you’re doing awesome. The next big thing is that once you can run for 30 minutes solid (even if a really slow jog), consistency become much more important than pushing harder or longer. The last big thing to me is making certain you’re having fun. You’re already starting better than I did on this with Zombies Run. But start thinking about the next step. I’d highly recommend signing up for a 5k race. It’s amazing how many races are out there and how there’s one out there for everybody. The key is to do what sounds fun to you, whether that mean a color race, a race where you’re chased by Zombies, or running on a dirt trail in the woods (my preference). Crossing a finish line really is a rush and you won’t regret it. Plus I’ve never found a community more open and encouraging than the running community.

    Finally, I want to give a big thank-you for sharing this reboot with us. You’ll never really know how much you’re helping others. That’s not just the people joining you in starting a reboot, but also reminding those of us who’ve been working on being better and healthier for some time why we started and keep going. Please keep it up because you’re making the world better both in your personal changes and in putting out meaningful quality work professionally.

  39. So awesome to hear another person has been bitten by the running bug. Injuries happen. Heal up and get back out there. Tip: Compression socks are God’s gift to runners. Seriously go get a pair and I think you will reap some benefits with your running. I know I did.

  40. Same exact thing happened to me. Fun when you decide – hey, I’m going to exercise! – and then you’re 40-something body says, “heh….not so fast, buddy…” The setback broke the habit for me, and I haven’t lost the weight. So you’re already ahead of me there. Good luck keeping it up!

    One other thought: you have, as I understand it, some pretty cool t-shirts. If you’re getting rid of half of them, I bet you could auction them off and raise money for something (maybe that animal shelter you do all that work for?) Your business, of course – I’m just saying: I bet there’s a market…

  41. Good job at Blizcon by the way, I thought you did excellent and found your speech not only funny but very relevant to the con and charming. Loved it. I hope you come again next year.

  42. Bummer about the hurtin’… but welcome to the world of Zombies, Run!! (I’ve twisted more than a few ankles at various times) I hope you’ll continue it after the 5K training, because the story is pretty sweet, and you can adjust the difficulty. (I had turn zombie chases off, because I’m a bit of wimp.)

  43. Nightmares, self-worth and depression… Yesh. Ugh. In my case (as a once-aspiring filmmaker, now working a dumb graveyard shift McJob and putting off my screenplay work), today’s Surreal Nightmares of the Pathetic Wanna-be Class episode featured me attending an artists’ spiritual retreat, only to have 8 of the other 9 small group attendees walk out as I shared my story. (Hey, does that make me “7 of 10”? Yow! Sorry.) To my wonder, the sole listener remaining was my hero: writer/director/actor Albert Brooks. Whom I quickly alienated by confusing him with novelist/Crash-Courser John Green… in an ironic Brooksian twist. — Thanks for the reboot material, Geekley. I can’t run cuz of my knees, but dem zombies gonna be eating my elliptical machine dust soon enough. –Mark from Chicagah

  44. I started Project Reboot this week. I can’t thank you enough for that Zombie app. I’m rather excited to do it – maybe you should think about writing an audio story for them and being a narrator! How fun would that be? I’d have to imagine it would be similar to a screen play.

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